Retrograde
by Nuwanda31
Summary: After Reid loses his memory, the BAU team work to help their friend find himself again. With his brain out of the way, they begin to see how he feels about the world... especially Emily.
1. Venting

Summary: After a traumatic event, Reid develops amnesia. He's lost all he knows and everything that he was, not even recognizing his friends. But the team is not about to give up on their friend, or the unsub who hurt him. They are determined to help Reid rediscover his life, but he may not be the same person anymore. With his amazing brain power out of the way, they start to see who Reid really is and how he feels about the world... especially Emily.

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is the property of CBS, the actors, producers, and writers of the show. I have no authority over anything except original characters.

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><p><em>"It must be difficult." Emily smirked over the rim of her beer bottle.<em>

_Confused, Reid asked "What do you mean?"_

_"Having gorgeous girls like that giggle over you." She indicated the twenty something young ladies who had been trying to chat Reid up a moment ago. "I was a party girl at that age, but I can't remember ever wearing a skirt that short."_

_Reid pushed the dirty image from his mind. He would not disrespect his friend by thinking of her like that when she was sitting right beside him. He couldn't let his guard down... though he had to admit, it was difficult._

_"I'm not their type." He assured, taking a sip of his brandy. "As soon as I open my mouth, they're opinion will certainly change."_

_"Only because those girls are too stupid to realize you are the one they should be looking for." She muttered simply, taking a sip from her drink._

_Reid was intrigued. "What do you mean by that?"_

_"You're a nice guy, Reid." She pointed out, as if it were obvious. "You're sweet and sensitive, you're a good listener and you care about people and, given the chance, you can make a girl laugh... when the ones you love need you, you're right there, no questions asked. Girls don't realize that's the kind of guy they should be with until they get older... and by then it's often too late." Emily took another swig. Judging from the dazed feeling, she already had too much to drink. She was probably saying too much. "Believe me, if someone had told me at that age I'd wind up forty and alone... I'd have made a lot better decisions about who I wound up with back then."_

_"But you have so much." Reid noted. "You've got good friends and a great career. You'd trade that so you wouldn't be alone at night?"_

_"Trust me, Reid." She set the empty bottle onto the wet napkin. "If you get to be my age and you're still alone... you'll learn just how long and cold the night can be."_

_Emily pulled herself off her stool, stumbling a bit as she found her footing. She spent a moment trying to remember just how many she'd had. "And it's not just being alone, Reid... I missed out on a lot. I mean... a home and family was never something I planned on... but now that I'm older, I often wonder if my life would be better if I'd given it a try... where is my coat?"_

_"You didn't wear one." Reid informed, standing up. He'd barely drunk half of his glass, perfectly capable of standing on his feet. _

_"Right," She smiled. "Well, in that case... I think I'll call it a night... I'll see you Monday."_

_As she tried to take a step, she stumbled again. "Okay," Reid said, putting his arm around her waist to keep her upright. "How about instead I take you home?"_

_"I guess I had a few too many." She mentioned as Reid set a few bills on the counter._

_"A few too many was a few hours ago, I think." Reid lead her to the door and opened it for her, allowing her out. The cool fresh air was good for her, giving her inebriated body a bit more strength._

_"This is exactly what I mean, though, Reid..." She explained as they headed to the corner to catch a cab. Emily leaned on him, breathing in his scent of coffee and cologne. "I've never had a guy take me home when I was drunk... without the hope of getting in my pants, anyway... You're a great guy... you should find a nice girl who appreciates you."_

_"Nice girls are hard to find." Reid mentioned, noticing how Emily had closed her eyes, smiling as she rested on his shoulder. Reid had never been able to stare at her this long without trying to hide it. She was so beautiful... if they weren't friends, he wasn't sure he'd be able to talk around her without his voice squeaking._

_"You just don't know where to look." She grinned, her eyes still closed. "They're closer than you think."_

_He hesitated a moment, accidentally breathing in the scent of her hair. The scent was sweet, like summer after a rainstorm. It covered the stench of the beer. "Yeah... they're probably right under my nose."_

_She didn't pick up on the comment. He'd never admit the girl he wanted was relying on him to support her elegant body. _

_Reid wanted to just put her in a cab and send her home. The beer had impaired her judgement and he'd heard enough stories from her; stories about the fuzzy escapades a night of binge drinking lead to. If they got to her door and she tried to pull him inside, he wasn't sure he'd be able to resist her._

_He immediately pushed the thought from his mind; thinking of Emily in that situation was wrong. It was one thing to imagine when he was alone, drifting off to sleep. But here, when she was in his arms - he could hardly believe she was in his arms - he wouldn't allow himself to be anything but a complete gentleman._

_But he couldn't just send her into the night alone. Instead, he joined her in the cab. They drove down the streets of DC in silence, Emily still leaning on Reid. She could never remember being so dependant on someone when she was drunk. She'd been a lot worse than this with her friends or by herself and she managed to walk just fine. Maybe it was because she trusted Reid so much. She knew she could be completely vulnerable with him and he'd never take advantage of her._

_Ten minutes later, they were outside Emily's building. Reid paid the driver and walked her upstairs to her door._

_"This is very chivaliss of you, Reid." She mumbled._

_"Chivalrous." He corrected. "And it's nothing... you're my friend, I'm always here for you."_

_"Oh," She turned to look at him as they stood outside her door. Her hands rested on his neck. "You are so sweet, Reid, I don't know what I'd do without you. And I want you to know I am always here for you. Don't you ever forget that."_

_Her inhibitions having been gone after probably the fifth beer, Emily pulled him close and placed a warm, loving kiss on his lips. It was innocent, but certainly lasting much longer than a friendly gesture. Reid's mind was an immediate fog, only feeling the warmth of her lips, sending sparks through his body; a pulsing electricity went through every inch of him. His muscles tensed, resisting the urge to bring her against him. He forced his body to remember she was his colleague and friend and not the woman he'd secretly loved for years... his hands itched to touch her, to finally feel how soft and warm her skin was. He kept his arms stiff at his sides, hands clenched in white fists._

_At last, she slowly slipped away. Reid reluctantly let her lips go. "I'm sorry... I don't know why I did that." She said, giggling like she'd simply tripped over her own feet._

_"It's okay." Reid avowed, nodding. "You better get some sleep... I'll see you Monday..."_

_"If I'm not too hung over." She said with a smile her cheeks a bit pink, which Reid suspected was due to the alcohol. Taking out her keys, she unlocked her door. "Have a good night."_

_"You, too." He smiled._

_She gave him another drunken grin before she closed the door softly. He stayed until he heard the door lock. Safe inside, Reid turned and headed down the corridor, savoring the feel of her lips._

Reid was already on his third cup of coffee. He had spent another night tossing and turning, reliving that evening over and over. This was getting ridiculous. It had been almost a year since that night, yet the memory couldn't stop haunting him.

He wanted her. For five years he had wanted, since they practically met. Reid had never wanted a woman the way he wanted Emily. But he couldn't have her. They worked together and agents within the same department couldn't date. For that, Reid was grateful. Because if he wasn't ordered to be with her, day in and day out, he would be too timid to let himself get near her. His job forced them together. It had been difficult, but eventually, Reid had mastered keeping his desires secret. No one on the team was wise to his feelings, including Emily. If they were, they certainly wouldn't resist the urge to tease him, especially Morgan.

When he was alone, there was no one to hide from, and his thoughts drifted. He could think of no one else. His dreams were invaded, leaving him feeling agitated and restless. Reid wasn't sure how much longer this could go on... but what solution was there?

"Morning, Reid." Emily said solemnly as she came into the kitchenette. She was always disgruntled at the beginning of the day, particularly Mondays. Emily Prentiss was not a morning person.

"Good Morning," He replied as she poured herself a cup. "How was your weekend?"

"It bit." She replied, glancing at him with her enticing brown eyes. In them, he could sense the disappointment from not receiving the weekend fun she'd been hoping for. "How was yours?"

"It was good, very informative. I went to this compare and contrast seminar on Edgar Allan Poe's stories at Georgetown." He explained, taking another sip of coffee. "Of course, I've already read Poe's entire collection, several times, and have my own opinions on both the gothic and satire stories. But it's interesting to hear it in another person's point of view."

Emily let out a light giggle. "For you, Reid... that sounds like a real party." She stirred the sugar into her coffee. "Maybe I should have gone with you and saved myself a lot of distress."

He looked to her, concerned. "I'm sorry, what happened?"

"Uh... nothing," she shook her head. "You don't need to hear my problems."

"Maybe not, but I don't mind listening if you need someone to talk to." He gave her a comforting smile. "You know whatever you tell me will stay between us... you can talk to me about anything."

She fixed Reid with such an appreciative stare, giving Reid a chance to absorb the warmth of her eyes, like rich chocolate. Emily was thinking how lucky she was to have a friend like him. A glance in the bull pen told her the others were already arriving. They wouldn't have privacy for long. "I'll talk a rain check. Stop by my room tonight, we'll talk then."

"It's a date." He smiled. He immediately regretted saying that, but hid it well. Emily didn't seem bothered by the phrasing, giving his arm a brush and heading to her desk. Another case was looming on them and she still hadn't finished last weeks files.

* * *

><p>At nine, everyone was ordered to the conference room. Their next case arrived on their touch pads. Reid had to admit, it did save paper and was a bit more convenient, but he missed the files a bit. He liked being able to flip through the papers, being able to lay everything out in front of him, to handle each piece and have all his information surrounding him. The price of the technology age.<p>

"Three weeks ago, in Charloteville, South Carolina," JJ began, "Seventeen year old Janice Piller was driving to meet friends at the library in the afternoon when she vanished. Her car was found abandoned on the side of the highway, all her personal belongings and identification was left behind. Her body was found two days later twenty miles away on the interstate, wrapped in a plastic tarp."

The young girls face appeared on the screen. A brunette with a nice smile. JJ didn't give them more than a minute before she continued, not wanting to linger on the vibrant life that was lost.

"A week after Janice was found, Sandra Fillimani was on her way to work and stopped for gas. The attendants found she left her car at the pump. The back door was wide opened, but nothing was stolen. Two days later, she was found in the dumpster behind the facility, also in a tarp."

She continued without a second to pause. "Last week, Stephanie Coldorario's car was found left at a local laundry mat. Her basket of clean laundry was found sitting beside it, undisturbed. And, wrapped in a tarp, she was found in dumpster of the fast food joint next door in two days. The girls were believed to be tortured, finding whip marks and cigar burns all over their bodies. Cause of death was poisoning."

"So he goes to all that trouble torturing the girls, but then ends their suffering painlessly by poisoning them." Morgan mentioned. "That doesn't make sense."

"It could mean there's more than one unsub." Rossi noted. "The dominant one chooses the victims and tortures them, the recessive is forced to kill the girls and dump the body."

"It would be easier for two to take the victims than just one." Hotch agreed. "If he sticks to his MO for his next victim, we only have twenty four hours before he snatches her."

"Do you think they already have their next girl picked out?" Morgan asked.

"That would be my theory." Hotch agreed. "Okay, we can discuss this more on the plane. Wheels up in thirty."

Everyone grabbed their things and stood, heading to deal with whatever affairs before they left for the week. It was a guess how long they would be gone. Judging from the looks of it, this case was going to be intense.

His eyes had trained themselves to find Emily wherever she was in the room. Just as he found her, she was already stepping out. He couldn't catch up to her without making it look suspicious. Instead, he clandestinely watched her as he gathered his things, the elegant way she brushed her hair back as she walked, then watching that hand slide to smooth out a wrinkle on her hip, which sway was so subtle with each graceful step, leaving him feeling both invigorated and guilty at the same time.

Reid knew he should not be thinking of his friend in this way. It was disrespectful. Emily would be appalled if she knew he thought of her like this, picturing her in his bed, pressing his lips on every inch of her soft, creamy skin, feeling her long fingers in the tendrils of his hair...

Once again, he shook the thought from his mind. He couldn't let himself think of her like that, especially at work. Dropping his guard for a second could destroy the very delicate balance he had struck. His bag fastened, he headed out across the catwalk to the bull pen.

He set his bag on his desk, deciding he could use one more cup of coffee before they hit the road. Once again, he spotted Emily, hurriedly finishing her work before they were thrown into another case. He wasn't sure what he was so worried about. So what if she knew? He never stood a chance with her, anyway... because no way a sophisticated, incredible, one of a kind woman like her could ever be interested in Spencer Reid.

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><p>"Good night, guys," Emily called as she pulled out her key card. Morgan and Rossi were passing her as they headed to their rooms for the night, looking just as exhausted as she felt. There was nothing more frustrating than working all day on a serious case and feeling like you accomplished nothing.<p>

"Night, Em," Reid said, passing her down the hall.

She glanced at his retreating back, curious. Emily knew Reid wouldn't forget, but maybe he was hoping she had.

"Hey, Reid," she called, grabbing his attention. He glanced at her and she checked the hall quickly, just to be sure no eavesdroppers were nearby. "Did you... I mean, you're probably too tired to talk now, right?"

"No," He replied and she was a little amazed. "I was going to do some reading before bed. I thought you would be too tired."

"Well, I am," she admitted. "But I would sleep a lot better if I could vent a little while. Do you mind?"

Her head nudged at her door; an invitation inside. Reid wanted to rush right in there and listen to every word she had to say, but thought better of it. Nothing good came in his life when he rushed, but if he took his time, something wonderful could come out of this.

"Just let me drop my stuff off and get ready for bed." He informed.

"Are we having a slumber party?" She wondered with a teasing smile.

An outsider might believe that was flirting, but Reid was too smart for that... or perhaps too naive. Either way he shook his head, "I just... want to be a bit more comfortable. See you in ten minutes?"

"I'll be here." She agreed. Emily watched as Reid returned her smile, heading down to his room. She headed inside, wanting to wash up and change herself before he arrived.

Even wanting to take this slow, he wanted to get dressed and ready as soon as possible. He looked exhausted and truthfully, were it not anyone else needing his attention, he'd be very annoyed he couldn't just go to sleep. But Emily filled him with a great energy. He felt strong enough to work for another twelve hours with only the promise of having some time, just him and her, talking.

He searched through his bag and pulled out a raggedy pair of sweat pants and a white cotton t-shirt. Not the fanciest of pajamas, but they were incredibly comfortable. Setting those aside, he looked for his toiletry bag. Grabbing it, he headed into the bathroom.

"I'm just brushing my teeth so I don't have to before I go to bed." He said, as if to convince himself he wasn't hoping for any kind of physical contact. To be honest, sex wasn't even on his mind. All he could think about was having another warm, sweet kiss with her when they said goodnight. He didn't want anything to come from it, he just wanted to taste her kiss again. At least this time, she was sober enough to remember.

Standing up straight, Reid took a good look in the mirror. His five o'clock shadow looked extremely vibrant tonight. He definitely should shave now. Searching through his bag, he pulled out his razor, continuing to look for his shaving cream.

It wasn't here. But, upon further search, he did discover a large hole at the bottom of the old bag. It looked big enough for the small can of shaving cream to fall out of. He headed into the bedroom, going to fetch it from his bag.

Another long search turned up nothing. Where could it be? It was here this morning, he remembered everything he put in here. The only place he could think it would be was on the floor of the SUV. He had pulled out a book to show Morgan something on the way to the station. It had been at the bottom and several items had fallen out. He must have missed it. In which, it was probably still there.

Standing up, he thought for a moment. He did have the keys, but was it worth pulling on his sneakers, heading down to the parking lot late at night and searching through the floor of the car just so he would look clean and fresh for Emily?

Yes.

Quickly, he slipped on his sneakers, not bothering to tie them. He wouldn't be more than a few moments. He grabbed the keys, his key card, and his badge just in case. Quickly, he went down the hall as fast as his long legs would take him.

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><p>She finished brushing her hair and came out of the bathroom, refreshed and ready for bed. Emily wore a pair of blue stripped pajama pants and a spaghetti strap top. It was a little more relaxed than she should be in front of a man, but she was comfortable with Reid.<p>

Words couldn't describe how grateful she was to him right now. She'd been so bitter after this weekend. Why did she wind up with the same problems with the same kind of men? She was almost forty years old, why couldn't she learn not to make those mistakes over and over? Maybe Reid could have a better insight on this than she. He was such a great friend, putting off sleep during a frustrating case just to make her feel better. She really didn't know what she'd do without him.

Glancing at the bedside clock, she read it was past ten minutes. In fact, it was almost twenty. Maybe he was just running a bit late. No matter, it gave Emily a few extra minutes to tidy up. The last thing Reid would want to see was her clothes laying splayed on the floor.

Setting her bag aside, Emily sat on the bed. Twenty minutes had gone by and still no Reid. It didn't bother her. It wasn't like he was completely punctual all the time. Maybe he had some phone calls to return, or he decided to finish his reading before he came over. She waited, patiently, trying not to stare at the clock too much.

Twenty-five minutes... thirty minutes... forty-five minutes... she thought about calling him, but didn't want to seem like some nag... fifty-five minutes...

Emily kept waiting, not wanting to give up on him. Finally, she dishearteningly realized an hour and ten minutes had gone by. That was it. Assuming he must have fallen asleep, she gave up. Somberly, she stood to switch off the lights. Emily pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. Maybe she'd been wrong, and Reid was just another man who let her down.

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><p>AN: I've been mulling over doing a Reid/Prentiss story for awhile and I have a lot of good ideas planned for this. I've never done a serious romantic story with two canon characters before, I hope I do it justice. My usual readers know the effort and dedication to put in my stories. You guys take time out of your life to read them, it should be worth it. Please review!

Thanks to susannah2000 who's been very supportive and helpful with this story! :)


	2. The Next Morning

A/N: I'm so glad you guys like this! The response was better than I had hoped! I hope that continues. :)

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><p>Emily headed down to the lobby the next morning. It had taken her ages to fall asleep, only to wake feeling agitated and angry. She was still hurt Reid had stood her up, but decided to hide that behind her usual demeanor while excessively teasing him about trying to stay up past his bedtime.<p>

"Morning," Emily muttered as she took a seat next to Morgan, waiting for the others.

"Hey... you should try sleeping at night, Prentiss." He muttered.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, giving him a slight glare.

"Only you look like you haven't been to bed in a week." He indicated. It was typical for Morgan to show his concern through insults, the only reason why Emily was still sitting here. She wasn't really in the mood to be around people. "You need to talk about something?"

She gave a shake of her head, looking away. But Morgan wasn't going to give up so easily.

"You know you can talk to me about anything." He explained.

Reid's words were echoed in his sentence and Emily tried not to cringe. "Forgive me if I don't entirely believe you. Where the hell is everybody? I want to get going."

Obviously she didn't want to talk right now, and so Morgan dropped the subject. Maybe he'd corner her on the plane when they headed home, but for now he gave her space.

Hotch and JJ were next to come down soon followed by Rossi and lastly Garcia. They conversed in the lobby waiting for Reid to join them. It was odd, he was usually the first or second one down, always eager to get back to work on the case.

"He must have overslept." JJ muttered, realizing it was already past nine. They were supposed to be at the station already. Emily felt a bit guilty. If he were this late, he must have been exhausted. Maybe he hadn't even meant to fall asleep last night and his fatigue just got the better of him. JJ clicked through her phone. "Let me just call him."

Each ring went unanswered... she waited until the voicemail answered. Not giving up, she ended the call and tried again. Once... twice... three times. Finally she hung up, giving Hotch an apologetic look.

"He's probably still sleeping." She assured. "I'll run up and check on him."

"No, JJ, we're already late. He'll be down soon. Morgan, why don't you and Emily wait for him and the rest of us will head to the station." Hotch announced. "Call us when you're on the way."

The two agreed and the rest headed to the entrance. Morgan and Emily sat and waited in the lobby. Soon the morning traffic was beginning to slow. As it thinned, so did their patience.

"This is getting ridiculous." Morgan exclaimed, checking his watch. "It's almost ten. Hotch is going to be pissed."

"Maybe we should go up and make sure he's alright." Emily decided. "He might be sick or something... maybe he fell and hurt himself."

"Yeah, or he just doesn't want to drag his bony ass out of bed." Morgan stood as he began to follow Emily to the elevators.

_It's not really bony... it's lean and firm._ Emily thought and was immediately ashamed. She had never thought about Reid's body like that. Her thoughts were a bit impaired running on so little sleep. That was it.

At last, they made it to the door. "Reid," Morgan said, knocking on the door. "Come on, kid, get up. It's 10 o'clock."

No answer. Aggravated, Morgan knocked louder. "Reid, get up, let's go! The others are waiting."

Maybe he would respond if Emily tried. "Reid," Emily said, knocking. "Are you okay? Do you need some help?"

Silence. "Reid... please answer. Yell or something if you can't come to the door." She cried.

"This is ridiculous!" Morgan called, pounding on the door. "Reid!"

"Something's wrong." Emily muttered. "Reid wouldn't not answer. Maybe he's unconscious."

"Go down and get the manager." Morgan ordered, continuing to knock and kick at the door, desperate for Reid to respond. Emily hurried downstairs, not wanting to think about what could be wrong with her friend. She hated herself, so bitter with him for standing her up when in reality, he had needed her.

Fifteen agonizing minutes later, Emily returned with a disgruntled manager. Morgan was still desperately trying to break into Reid's room, almost splitting the wood of the frame.

"What seems to be the problem here, sir?" The manager grumbled. He gasped, spotting the damage. "You're going to have to pay for that."

Immediately he flashed his badge and the manager seemed to shrink back. "Open the door. It's our coworker's room and he won't answer."

Without a word, the now timid manager whipped out a key which he placed into a special lock underneath the card slot. It wasn't more than a second when the lock click, the two stepped inside, the manager waiting in the hall.

The lights were on. His go bag sat on the bed, his pajamas abandoned to the side. There was no sign of Reid, though, as they quickly surmised.

"Toothbrush... toothpaste, floss... razor, mouthwash, it's like it's waiting for him." Morgan noted, taking in the abandoned items. "Reid's messy, but these things look like they weren't even used..."

Emily profiled the main room. He was in the middle of getting ready for bed... just as he had planned. There were no other clothes out of his bag and she didn't see one item he'd been wearing yesterday... even his shoes were gone. What was so important, it pulled him from his room so suddenly?

"Cell phone," she cried, hurrying to the bedside table. If he left that behind, wherever he went, he hadn't planned on going far or for too long. "Didn't Reid have the keys to the car?"

"Yeah," Morgan replied from the bathroom. "Why?"

"That and his badge are missing. His gun's here, though." She checked under the bedside table, "No sign of his key card."

"Where did he have to go so urgently?" Morgan wondered, stepping out of the bathroom. "And where the hell is he now?"

"If he left, he wouldn't go without his phone." She said, indicating her thoughts as she stood up. "Or his gun, and he knows to tell at least one of us that's he's going somewhere."

"Unless he didn't want us to know where he was going." Morgan indicated. "Some place private."

Emily knew that was wrong, because his plan was to come and be with her. But instead of revealing that, she corrected him with an obvious fact. "What private matter would he have to deal with in a place we've never been before? And it's not like he's involved with anything suspicious or he's using again. If he were, we'd be able to tell."

That was true. Profilers could always detect the strangest occurrence in one of their friends. And, though he would never admit it, Reid was an opened book.

"Go down and check the car," He ordered to Emily. "Maybe there's some clue in there that'll tell us where he is."

It seemed like a long shot, but Emily was getting extremely worried. She would try anything. Obeying his request, she left the room, making a rush to the parking lot. Morgan continued to search the room.

Stepping back into the bathroom, he overlooked the toiletries again. They were all normal; Morgan had the same ones in his own bathroom, left for his next use. But the razor stood out in his mind... razor but no shaving cream... that was odd.

Morgan put himself into Reid's mind. Difficult of course, but they were both men and thought in similar ways. He had his things out, but only if he were getting ready to shave would he care about shaving cream... why Reid was shaving before bed was odd, but Reid was such a mystery.

He looked through the bag, but there was no form of cream or gel. And, as Reid had over twelve hours ago, Morgan went to look in the go bag. A few minutes confirmed there was nothing of the kind... perhaps it were left in the car. And if Reid were determined to shave before bed...

It didn't explain where he was now, though... hopefully Prentiss would have more luck at the answer.

* * *

><p>She knew the car wouldn't be missing. Hotch and the others would have noticed when they left. She doubted Reid would be sleeping in there, the others would probably have seen him. Emily couldn't help but hope he had just gone unnoticed. She could worry about why he was sleeping there when she found him, as long as he was alright.<p>

Upon first glance, the black, standard government issued SUV was empty. No person was inside or around it. In fact, Emily thought it looked just as it had when they arrived last night. Carefully, she began overlooking the outside of the car. Unable to help herself, she began treating this like a crime scene.

Going around to the passenger side, Emily gasped lightly. Next to the backseat was a small pile of items: a set of car keys, a can of shaving cream, a key card, and a billfold. Set there, like someone had arranged them.

As badly as she wanted to grab the items, to search through and prove it was just a coincidence, Emily knew she had to follow procedure. It was better to be safe and find out this was nothing than ruin the crime scene.

Firstly, she whipped out her phone and took several pictures of the pile at varying angles. Holding in a deep breath, Emily carefully reached down to the pile, carefully removing the keys. She stood up and unlocked the front seat, heading to the glove compartment. Inside, she found a set of gloves and pulled them on as fast as possible.

Emily reached down again, trying to keep from getting emotional. She recognized the billfold almost immediately, having one just like in her pocket. With trembling fingers, she opened it finding the FBI metal and Reid's picture on his identification.

It took all the strength inside her to shove her emotion down into the pit of her stomach. She did that every time she saw an innocent victim, taken in the prime of life. But this was different... this was her friend.

Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out her phone.

"Morgan," she stammered as he answered. "I think our unsubs found their next victim."

* * *

><p>Unable to rely on his eyes, Reid took in his surroundings through his remaining four senses. Smell, the least powerful but most memorable... gasoline... mixed with muddy soil... and whiskey.<p>

He felt with his hands, which were bound underneath him. He felt the hint of dirty carpeting. From the constriction and the feel on his wrists, he assumed it was duct tape binding him. The same was around his eyes, blinding him.

He didn't sense anyone was here, but from the sound he was riding in a vehicle. A truck or van. It was enclosed, but he was freezing cold.

That was all his surroundings told him, though, and it didn't do much good as it was. His head was aching, but he tried to think back to what happened. It was night... and he had run down to the car for... something. What was it? He couldn't remember what he'd be doing before the car... all he knew was he wanted to be as fast as possible... but why? What was so important that he had to get to?

Unable to attract anymore information from his throbbing mind, Reid gave up. He let himself relax... because wherever he was going, he doubted he'd ever return. In which case, he let himself fall into a deep sleep where his greatest desire was waiting for him with her deep brown eyes and perfect smile.


	3. Falling Stars

The car ride back to the hotel felt like a living purgatory. Hotch's words had seemed like something out of a dream, sounding in her head like off an old phonograph... _Reid's missing... they think he's been abducted_... It couldn't be real. They had to be mistaken. But the more she thought about it, what other explanation was there?

Emily was waiting for them in the parking lot, standing right in the space their car had been in just hours ago. JJ felt sick. They walked right by that crime scene and didn't even know. What if one wrong move had ruined a key piece of evidence?

Her breathing must have been getting heavier, because she felt Garcia reach over and take her hand. JJ glanced at her, who couldn't meet her eyes. She was just as worried as JJ and though the men wouldn't admit it, they were scared, too.

As they parked, Emily came over to meet them. "The other cops are on their way. What did you find out?"

"Well, we found evidence he was unconscious when he was taken away." Emily explained as they began to walk over. "Which probably means they snuck up on him."

"That could suggest the abductor lacks confidence." Rossi inferred. "It would explain why he's partnered with an inferior personality. He needs someone to boost his ego."

"Oh, God," Garcia exclaimed as they approached. Their eyes landed on a considerable sized puddle drying in the morning sun. "That's blood, isn't it?"

The crime scene unit was fastening tape to surround the scene. "Morgan's inside speaking to the manager and housekeeping, trying to find who was on staff that night and might have seen something." Emily explained. "We need Garcia to go over the security footage."

She nodded, feeling sick and heartbroken at the sight of Reid's blood. "We have to work fast." Hotch announced. "If they follow the timeline, they'll want to dump him Thursday, probably in the morning."

"Which means they'll kill him Wednesday night." Rossi agreed.

"JJ, let me talk to Morgan and then we'll head back to the station, we'll need to set up a press conference."

"This soon?" She wondered.

"The sooner the better." He assured. "Rossi, you and Emily head to the coroner to see the other bodies. I'll let Morgan know to wait here until the scene is processed."

Emily could only nod, feeling like she had been swept into a whirlpool. It seemed like one minute ago, she was smiling at Reid, waiting to unload the bitterness about men that had been sent over the edge a few days ago and the next... she was reporting him missing.

"Emily?" Rossi called like he'd been trying to get her attention for a minute or two. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," she uttered, a bit out of breath like she'd just run a mile. Hurriedly, she followed Rossi to the car so they could head to the morgue, hoping she wouldn't be there to identify her friend anytime soon.

* * *

><p>This was frustrating. Morgan was trying to get information out of the maids, but it was like they were speaking different languages. Each question getting the vaguest of answers possible. Spotting Hotch was his salvation, and separated himself from the ladies.<p>

"Any news?" He asked.

"Nobody knows anything." Morgan barked, not bothering to lower his voice. "Either they weren't on duty last night or they didn't notice anything suspicious. How does the abduction of a grown man go unnoticed?"

"My guess is Reid wasn't their main target. They were probably after someone else staying or working here, but when they spotted Reid, he was just as good as their chosen victim."

"So..." Morgan thought. "They weren't targeting women they were attracted to... they just wanted someone accessible. Which means the desire is more about the torture than the victim."

"Which also makes them harder to find." Hotch noted. That made Morgan tense and angry, but it was the truth. Hotch couldn't sugarcoat this just because the stakes were doubled. "If you're not getting anything from the maids, talk to the manager. Have him find out who checked in between our check in time and sunrise today. Question them, see if they saw anything. Garcia's going over the security footage with security right now, I'll call if she finds anything."

Morgan agreed, heading off as fast as possible to fulfill his assignment. Every second was a second wasted to save Reid. He was so furious with that kid. If he'd left something in the car, unless it was something of vital importance, he wouldn't have worried about it in the middle of the night. Why did he give a damn about his appearance before he went to bed? He didn't know the area, he didn't even bother to take his gun. For a genius, he was pretty damn stupid.

It didn't matter how angry he got or how much he tried to blame this on him, the fact was Reid was missing. He was somewhere, probably cold and dark, being put through God knew what until they grew bored with his screams. Why did these things always seem to happen to him?

He could worry about Reid's luck with the universe later. Worry would only distract him, and Morgan needed full attention if they were going to bring him home.

* * *

><p>How long he'd been here, he didn't know. It felt like days. Days of unbearable, searing pain. He'd woken in this position, having been removed from the vehicle. He tried to open his eyes, but they were covered, his mouth gagged with a dirty cloth. He'd been stripped down to his briefs, his constricted hands hung above him, swinging slightly. They weren't high enough where he was stretched in pain, but just so he had to place all weight on his knees. They felt sore and bloody, like tiny little daggers were slicing into his skin. At first, it had been nothing, but now it was all he could think about.<p>

His captors weren't in the room. A door had closed sometime ago and had yet to reopen. When they returned, they'd be back for another round, whipping him with chains and leather in between forcing the lit cigars into his skin. And that laugh. That cold laugh that sent a shiver down his spine. It sounded every time he moaned with agony or whimpered in pain. What kind of person would find joy in this, he couldn't even guess.

Right now, though, he was alone. Thinking about his team made the pain in his knees more bearable. His wonderful friends who had let him into their lives and become the center of his life. He was never going to see them again. They were certainly looking for him by now, but what evidence did they have? If they hadn't found it their first day, he wasn't going to give them anything new until they found his body. Well, at least he might be able to stop this from happening to another innocent person.

Emily floated to the surface of his mind. Her beautiful, flawless face with her perfect smile to make her eyes light up like a stars... falling from the sky...

_He'd been carefully watching her for several minutes. Her nimble fingers working and moving the wooden pieces. It looked like some kind of toy and the longer she worked it, the more frustrated she got. She was awfully cute when she was annoyed._

_At last his curiosity got the better of him. "What is that?"_

_"Star puzzle." She explained. "It's basically... impossible to figure out. You have to put all the pieces back together to form a perfect star. But, the origin of it is kind of a romantic tale."_

_His interest had peaked a bit at that. Hoping she hadn't noticed, he listened closely as Emily at last gave up. She sat back, meeting Reid's eyes with her rich, warm ones and began the tale._

_"There was this young prince who wanted to win the heart of the fairest maiden in the land. So... he climbed to the top of the tallest tower in the kingdom. And he caught a falling star for her. Unfortunately, he was so excited he dropped it and it smashed into all these pieces."_

_Reid was liking this story, examining one of the jagged pieces of wood, his thoughts on the young prince... who wanted the love of the fairest maiden in the land._

_"So he frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love to her and he succeeded and they lived... happily ever after."_

_His logic getting in the way as always, he responded. "That doesn't make any sense."_

_"What do you mean?" She asked._

_Reid enjoyed fairy tales, but his genius mind never let himself except the fantasy about it. "You can't catch a falling star, it would burn up in the atmosphere."_

_"Yeah, but, it's not literal, Reid. It's a fable." She pointed out._

_"But there's no moral. Fables have morals." He corrected._

_"It's just a romantic little story." She said, a bit annoyed. Reid reached over, grabbing the other pieces. He listened to her as his own long fingers fitted and pieced the items together. "The point is it's basically impossible to do because you have to take all those pieces and fit them together exactly..."_

_Astonishment stole her voice as Reid set the perfect star before her. He waited in anticipation for a pleased smile from his fair maiden... but instead she pursed her lips from the humility. "There's a lot to hate about you, Dr. Reid."_

_The others teased him at the many games he always won at, and Reid returned to his reading. He hid his sadness and embarrassment, another failed attempt to get Emily to see his true feelings. Maybe he'd been a bit too subtle, and would have to find another way to prove his undying love to her._

Reid had yet to find that moment and now it seemed he'd lost his chance. If he could have just one more moment, he would tell Emily the truth. No tricks, no gestures, just admit how he felt, how important she was to him. And Reid vowed, that if by some grace of the universe he got out of here alive, he was going to confess his love to Emily. It may ruin everything, she may laugh in his face or it could destroy their friendship beyond repair... but he had to tell her.

And if he couldn't... then at least he'd take her memory to his grave.

The door creaked open again. The voices echoed around the large room, which he determined was exceptionally large. They were coming for another round. Reid could feel himself shaking. He wanted to be brave, but it was hard knowing what was coming, not knowing how much more his body could endure of this. He was beginning to believe they were being much rougher with him than the girls.

Without warning, a sharp slash went across his back. Reid squeaked with pain and the laughter met his ears again. With another strike, he found strength by letting his mind drown into his memories and had no intention of ever coming up for air again.

* * *

><p>The familiar chill surrounded them as they sat in the waiting room. The coroner said he'd be out to speak with them as soon as possible. Emily tried to remain calm, not wanting to let her impatience or guilt get the best of her. Why did Reid go down to that car? He should have been with her. He should have been with her. If she had known what would have happened by giving him those ten minutes, Emily would have pulled him into her room and not let him out until first light.<p>

"So Reid went down to the car to get a can of shaving cream. What was so important, he needed it at 9 o'clock at night?" Rossi wondered, deep in thought. He spoke calmly, always in check of his emotions. "You were the last one he spoke to before bed, right?"

She looked at him curiously. "You heard that?"

"I took a glance down the hall before I walked into my room." He informed. "Did he mention anything? About what he was going to do last night?"

She should tell him. It's not like it was a bad thing. They were just getting ready to talk. They were all friends, they all leaned on each other in times of need. She didn't know why he went to the car, but she was beginning to sense the two were connected.

"Well, actually... we were going to talk for a little while in my room." She explained.

Rossi was suddenly interested. "Really?"

She looked up, ready to explain fully. "I had had a bad weekend, I was a little upset. He offered to listen to me a little last night. He had said he wanted to change and he'd be back in ten minutes... he never came back."

"Reid wouldn't not show up." Rossi said. "Why didn't you mention this before?

Besides the fact she was already twisted with remorse. "There really hasn't been time... I didn't know he was going to go down to the SUV, I just assumed he fell asleep. He did look very tired."

She deserved to be lectured and reprimanded, in fact she wanted it. To bring light to this blame she had claiming her stomach. Rossi just gave a nod, thinking. "At least we have a bit of a timeline. It's less than a half an hour before we went to bed... that'll help with narrowing down the security footage."

"I should have gone to make sure he was alright." Emily said, leaning into her hands.

"Don't blame yourself, Emily." Corrected Rossi. "If Reid hadn't gone back to the car and just gone to you like he planned, he'd be fine right now. This is not your fault."

She glanced at him. "Could you tell my stomach that? Because I am sick with guilt."

Rossi patted her arm. He'd always had a soft spot for Emily, always looking out for her in a fatherly way. "We all are. But we're going to find him."

The metal doors swung open, revealing the coroner. "Come on in, I pulled the bodies out for you."

They stood, followed the swish of his lab coat into the cold room of the morgue. Emily usually wasn't bothered by the sight of bodies lined in drawers, even when they were innocent victims... but just staring at the three girls made her want to sob. Just lying there, like a premonition of the upcoming victim.

"Their wrists were bound," Rossi noted at first as he began to profile them. "Was there evidence found on the body?"

"To be honest, they were surprising clean. Most of the debris was left by the dump sight." The coroner replied. "There was an adhesive residue on their wrists as well as over their eyes."

"Left from duct taple, probably." Rossi mentioned, looking over the closed eyes of Stephanie Coldorario. The same substance sat on her face. "If they plan to kill the victims and still blindfold them, that's usually a sign of shame."

Emily looked at the body of the first girl. Sure enough, she was covered in whip marks and burns, just like the others. Two days like this must have been agony. Were they in the dark the whole time? Was it cold and damp or unbearably hot? Either way, they had no food, no water. She could only guess the misery they'd endured... that Reid was now suffering through.

Suddenly, she couldn't see the girl in front of her. Janice Piller seemed to have disappeared and the cold, lifeless form of Spencer Reid had taken her place. His skin beaten and torn, his body stiff and still with not a beat in his kind heart. She stopped herself from letting out a cry, staring at the form of her dead friend.

"Emily," Rossi wondered, "What are you thinking?"

Blinking twice, her eyes found the girl once more. Emily looked over the corpse, trying to find more unique clues. At last, she spotted her knees... knobby. They were bloody and scraped into odd wounds. Looking at the next two, they each had the same appearance.

"They were forced on their knees." Emily informed. "Possible the entire time. On pebbles or grains... they were subject to kneel on a the floor during their entire capture... and the grains cut into the skin. At first, that would be nothing, but after awhile... it's agony."

"The superior wants them in constant pain." Rossi decided. "Probably the severe torture is done in increments. The men need time for a break. But in truth, they were suffering during their entire capture."

Emily had an idea. "Did you get a sample of anything in these wounds?"

"Yeah," the coroner replied. "I'll get you the report."

He stepped away to get the files, and Emily looked back over the girls. Her vision was the closest she was going to let Reid get to this state. They would find him long before it was too late. Emily would bet her life that in a few hours they would all be together, discovering this whole ordeal was nowhere near as bad as it seemed.


	4. Into the Darkness

"How'd the press conference go?" Rossi asked an hour later as he and Emily returned. Everyone else was in the conference room at the station, waiting for them.

"It'll be airing at noon." JJ explained. "We're hopeful it will help , but... we know the odds in these situations."

"At the very least, it may unhinge the weaker of the unsubs, ultimately bringing their downfall." Rossi stated.

"Won't this force them to kill Reid sooner?" Morgan asked, trying to hide his worry. "It feels more like we sped up the clock."

"Not with a pair," Hotch explained taking a seat. Rossi pulled out the coroner report, handing it to him. "The superior will spend more time trying to calm his partner and that'll force them to make a mistake. The superior will do all in his power to protect their identity, even if it means killing the inferior first. Odds are, they'll abandon their victim to get away instead of killing him."

JJ took a copy of the report, reading it quickly. The room was silent for several minutes. It was so disturbing not hearing Reid announce the evidence long before the others.

"Bond wrists with duct tape." Emily noted. "That suggests the unsubs don't have much money or supplies. Either duct tape is easily attained in their workspace or they buy it because it's cheaper than rope."

"Also, evidence is hard to extract from the adhesive substance." Hotch pointed out. "Ropes carry evidence and DNA once they're used."

"Tape is easier to dispose, too." Morgan pointed out. "Which suggests they may be using an area that is populated by a number of people on a semi-regular basis. Like a warehouse or storage space."

"It would explain why he sticks to this timeline." JJ cried. "He knows the employees won't interrupt them. He probably even works there, maybe the partner, too."

"Garcia," Rossi called. "Go over the security footage you gathered, look between 9 and 10 PM. Once we get some IDs, we'll run those names against their work footage and see where they're employed."

"Aye aye, sir, I'm on it!" Garcia announced, starting to type into her laptop.

"Why those hours, Dave?" Hotch asked.

Without missing a beat, Rossi announced. "Emily explained she and Reid were planning to get together last night. He went to his room to change and never came back. It has to be within that hour."

Silence fell in the room, everyone's eyes fell to Emily. Her breath was catching in her chest, refusing to be realeased and Emily was afraid a panic attack was on the way.

"Why were you two going to get together?" Hotch asked.

Emily cleared her throat. "Just to talk... I needed a friend."

It seemed enough for most of them, turning back to their work. Emily was beginning to feel worse and worse about this. Fault or not, though, she had every intention of making this up to Reid when he returned. Whatever he wanted, it was his.

As horrible as she felt, the sensation doubled meeting Morgan's eyes. They looked into hers with a cold amazement, like she'd been involved with the kidnappers. Her throat felt dry, but ignored it, getting back to the discussion.

"The knees were badly cut with tiny incisions." Hotch read. "Any idea what that's from?"

Rossi replied. "Prentiss had the idea the victims are being forced to kneel on some kind of course objects. A person's weight on that for a long period of time would be agony."

"And what did the report show?" Hotch asked, flipping through.

Emily was frozen, staring onto the wood of the table. Her vision was filled with Reid, painful and wounded in some warehouse, blood dripping from his knees as he was forced to kneel, his arms chained to some wall.

"Prentiss?" Hotch called. "Did you hear me?"

Sitting up, she snatched her copy of the report, pointing out the findings. "The coroner found traces of white, uncooked grain. It looks like rice, probably oriental. The kind distributed to Asian restaurants or local supermarkets. If the unsubs are working in a packaging plant, they could cover the floor in it and sweep it up when they're done."

"A good way to destroy the evidence, too." Morgan announced. "They bury it in the dirt and it's decomposed in a few weeks. Less if there's rain."

"Okay," Garcia cried, feverishly typing into her computer. "So, we're looking for suspects in the footage between 9 and 10 last night who are reported to working in some sort of plant or warehouse. It's like a twisted version of Where's Waldo... I hate to break it to you guys, but this could take awhile. We'll be lucky if it turns up anything."

Rossi had an idea. "If the plant has down time on certain days of the week, maybe it's been cut back to part time operation. The economy is awful right now and a lot of food is shipped from out of state and out of the country."

"That may help." Garcia announced. "It could possibly even be a business that delivers to the hotel."

"Good thinking, Garcia." Hotch said. "Look into all the local places they deliver to, maybe there's a connectiong there. The rest of us will continue reading these. Morgan and Emily, I need you to work on a geographical profile. I know you're not Reid, but do the best you can.

"Yes, sir," Emily said, standing. Morgan practically shot out of his seat, stepping out of the room before anyone could say a word. She caught a glance with Garcia, who gave her an apologetic simper, and went back to work. Taking a deep breath, she followed to catch up.

* * *

><p>It was the slowest day of their lives. The case seemed to be at a standstill. Until Garcia got the results, there wasn't much for anyone to do. The others continued slaving over the file information, for some kine of detail that would lead them in the right direction.<p>

As ordered, Morgan and Emily worked in the station's bull pen over a map of the city. They had marked every point, but couldn't see a discernible pattern. At least not with their tired eyes and average minds.

Emily was in the break room, noticing the last of the sun falling behind the horizon. Reid had been missing for an entire day, and that meant he had twenty four hours before his death. Why were the searches taking so long? It probably meant they wouldn't turn up anything useful. And that put them back at square one. Emily hated to think it... but odds were, the only way they were going to find that one useful clue was when they had a actual crime scene to profile... and a body.

Emily shook the thought aside, forcing herself to focus. She grabbed the cups and returned from the break room, meeting Morgan and the map of the finished geographical profile.

He wouldn't even look at her as he accepted the coffee, giving a half grumble which she assumed was a thank you. She looked over the map, seeing nothing more than her partner.

"My guess would be they've already chosen the dump site." She said, spotting the marked hotel spot. "Probably on the hotel grounds, there's a lot more space to work with..."

Morgan didn't reply, or gave any indication that he'd heard her. Emily glanced at him a moment, sensing the tension from him that she'd been feeling all afternoon. "The superior chose the comfort zone, most likely. It's not much of a residential area, so he probably doesn't live here. And there's not much for blue collar work... it doesn't make sense why this would be ideal to him."

"I thought all this out already, Prentiss, thanks." Morgan bitterly replied.

She glanced at him curiously. "What is your problem? I know you're worried about Reid, but getting angry is not going to help us find him."

"Yeah, I'm worried about Reid." He stated. "A lot more than some people."

Gaping a bit, Emily turned to him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it," He muttered. "Why don't you go help the others or something, I don't need you here."

Emily set her coffee down, facing him fully. He may not look at her, but she was making him the center of her attention. "I didn't mean for this to happen. Morgan, I feel horrible enough as it is. You blaming me-"

"I'm blaming both of you." He pointed out, his voice fierce, even so low and soft. "I'm mad at him, and believe me, I can't wait to track that kid down so I can kick his ass. For once, he should have been a little selfish... if he wasn't so concerned about you, he would have gone to bed and be with us now. And you knew he wouldn't turn you away. You knew he'd be there for you, even if he didn't want to. All you could think about was yourself!"

Emily fell back a bit. She wanted to retaliate, but her nerve had taken a severe beating today. She couldn't find any word to say except, "I'm sorry."

"Right," Morgan muttered. "Well, you be sure to tell his mentally ill mother that. When we try to get her to understand why she'll never see her son again, you make sure she's know you're sorry."

At those words, her blame was beginning to morph into anger. "You're so certain we're not going to find him. Maybe I am to blame, but at least I have faith in myself and this team that we are going to bring him home! And when he is, I'll be waiting for your apology."

She couldn't stand here anymore with him. Emily turned, going back to the conference room.

Before she reached the door, JJ hurried out, running into her. "Oh, good, you're here." She exclaimed. "I think we may have found something."

Hurrying to the map, Hotch and Rossi followed her with Garcia, her laptop in hand. Morgan stepped aside, allowing her access to the map.

"Garcia was having a hard time with the searches. They weren't turning up much, so we went in another direction." She explained, grabbing a pin as she looked over the map. "She ran a search on the rice distributed in Charlotteville. Doing that, she found a company called Watson Shipping, which is the only one who distributes that brand of oriental rice. They also make different delivers to several establishments in town, including..." She marked a spot, the exact place of the third dump site. "The fast food joint, the gas station, and the supermarket across the street from the library where Janice Piller was headed."

"It connects all three girls." Rossi declared.

"But what about Reid?" Morgan pressed. "Obviously, they were planning on taking someone last night, how is that connected?

JJ let out a sigh. "Well, we couldn't find anything around the hotel that was connected directly to the shipping company, but Garcia spotted something on the security footage."

"The unsubs?" Emily asked, hopefully.

Garcia answered immediately, setting down the laptop, video ready to play. "I found the video of Reid heading down to the car. Unfortunately, our cars were parked out of video range, so I can't see what happened down there, but, not long after his departure, did I find this."

At last, she started the tape. Everyone watched as Reid, still fully dressed ran through the lobby, obviously in a hurry to get back to his room. Emily closed her eyes, knowing what was waiting for him outside. A person was standing at the reception desk, a young girl in a waitress uniform with no purse or luggage. She spoke with the desk clerk for almost twenty minutes, both seeming to get more and more agitated until finally she gave up, going towards the entrance.

Garcia explained. "The girl is Annabelle Waters and apparently, she had started college last year and has had a lot of financial troubles, often getting advances on salaries and borrowing money from friends, as she's trying to do here. She's been working down the block at the tavern, which gets a weekly delivery from-

"Watson Shipping?" Morgan assumed.

JJ nodded. "We suspect she was supposed to be the next victim, but since she was taking so long in there, they took Reid instead."

"We don't have any solid proof this is what we're looking for." Rossi explained. "But with no other evidence, it's the most logical assumption, we have to assume that's where the victims are being held. And where Reid is now."

The leader as always, Hotch indicated their next action. "Alright, the shipping company is at least an hour away and if they've seen the press conference, we can't be certain what they'll do. We have to move.

They didn't need anymore urging than that, hurrying out without another word. Maybe they would get there and save their friend before any permanent damage was done.

* * *

><p>It was dark... his entire body ached and throbbed and he was desperate to get off his knees. The pain was so great, he couldn't even think of his own name. Instead, he listened to the voices, the echo seemed to distort them.<p>

"I still say we should dump the body first." A voice said across the room, panicked a bit.

"No," the first replied. That was the one in charge, he knew. "No, we'll leave him here. Dumping will take too much time, he'll be dead soon enough."

So the torture was over? They were just going to leave him here to die. Reid wasn't sure if he was relieved or depressed by that. The leader was getting closer, continuing to speak. "It's such a shame... his abilities are unlike any of the others... we could have learned so much from him."

He was desperate to get out of here... he felt like there was a place he was supposed to be. There was people he was supposed to get to, that wanted him. People that cared about him and protected him... but he didn't know. Everything was so fuzzy to him now, and getting more vague every time he woke up. And the more he strained his mind to think, the less he could recall.

The crunching sound met his ears again, like they were stepping through gravel. Reid bit down on the gag, waiting for more pain to join him. Within seconds, a drip fell on his skin and he cried in agony. Acid. It sizzled and burned on his skin, tears welling behind his eyes.

"I thought we had to leave!" The weaker cried. "You saw the news, they're on to us, they're going to find us if we don't get away."

"I just... wanted to see..." the leader moaned, seeming to relish what Reid was experiencing. "Such a waste... I never got to do this to the others, they would never give me this result..."

A few more drops fell onto his body, and he cried louder into his gag. Tears were starting to well in his hidden eyes. He just wanted this to stop. He begged for something to at last end all this misery.

There was a sharp smack in the back of his head, right onto his wound. It turned his world foggy and black. Nothing could get him here, and the pain was all gone. He let himself slip into the darkness again happily. He fell so deep he knew he'd never come out. And honestly, he didn't want to.

* * *

><p>The ride felt like much more than an hour. SWAT and the paramedics were not far behind the team as they headed down the interstate, driving towards Watson Shipping. Each one was desperate to get there, but too afraid of what they'd find. How badly had Reid been treated... and if he was still able to be saved.<p>

"Alright, thanks, Baby Girl." Morgan said into his cell, "We're almost there, I think. We'll let you know when we find something." He hung up, explaining the previous conversation. "According to Garcia, Watson Shipping is a very small company getting dangerously close to declaring bankruptcy. It only operates three to four days out of the week, making a few select deliveries, and when it's shutdown, it's looked over by the caretaker, Lester Mills."

"Could that be our unsub?" Emily wondered.

"One of them, most likely." Rossi replied. "I think that's the entrance up there."

The building looked condemned. It was hard to believe this establishment was still up and running. Unfortunately, their drive was cut short, spotting the iron gate. The car stopped and everyone climbed out, trying to see if there was another way inside.

"It's not locked," Hotch announced, finding the opening. Just wide enough for them to enter one at a time. Hotch pulled out his gun and flashlight, the others doing the same. "Rossi, you stick with me. Morgan, you're with Prentiss. Remember, our first concern is to find Reid and get him out. Try to be as quiet as possible. I've told SWAT to stay back until we have him. There is to be no radio contact until he's found. Understood?"

The others nodded in agreement. Without another word, Hotch entered through the gate, the other three followed one by one.

Their feet crunched under the gravel, no matter how hard they tried to tiptoe. The main entrance came into sight, a pair of big metal doors. Locked mostly likely.

"We'll have to find another way in," Hotch's voice said in a harsh whisper. "You go back that way, Rossi and I will look on the other side."

Without a word they agreed. Morgan headed back down the path with Morgan at his heels. The lights ran along the walls of the building, avoiding the glass of the windows at all cost. There was no sign of another available entrance anywhere.

"We may have to break a window." Emily muttered, so low Morgan hardly heard her.

"The glass is too hard to break without a crash, we can't risk the noise." Morgan argued, turning a corner. A field sloped steeply down to a lot of pavement. A large stage area sat beside it.

"Loading area," Morgan pointed out. "That could be how the unsubs are getting in without trouble."

"And that's how we'll get in." She added, carefully heading down the steep hill, already slick with condensation. They had ot be cautious not to slip.

Getting down without falling was a challenge, but at last they feet found solid ground. Morgan took point again, leading the way. The loading dock loomed at them in the darkness.

"Morgan," she hissed, pushing his hand down so his light went to the their feet. "Careful... that door's open."

Sure enough, the first door to the side was opened a quarter of the way. If they got on the dock, they could crawl in. Morgan immediately went first, handing his gun and light to Emily. He easily pulling his muscular body onto the dock. He reached down, grabbing Emily's items so she could climb up to join him. In almost no time, they were stable, heading carefully to the door.

They paused briefly, gathering their courage. In the darkness, Morgan found Emily's eyes, both unsure what they would find in there. What happened before didn't matter. The fear and the anger and the blame... they needed each other to get through this, and get their friend out of there.

Emily gave a nod. They were good with each other, and would get through this. All of them. Reassured, Morgan turned, climbing onto his stomach and pulling himself inside. His light disappeared with him. Emily prepared herself, at last following suit.


	5. A Sign of Life

A/N: I love the response I've been getting on this guys! You're all awesome!

* * *

><p>Emily brushed herself off before pulling her gun back out again. At glance at Morgan told her he was ready. With only their flashlights for help, they took a look around.<p>

The loading area was like a labyrinth of boxes and crates, left behind by the last shift to work. Tiny, insignificant sounds met their ears... a rustle from scurrying rats, the wind from the outside, blowing against the building, mixing with the ghostly silence. No sign of anything.

"Let's split up," Morgan said in her ear. "There's a lot of ground to cover in here."

Emily agreed, wishing they could turn the lights on. On light feet, the two started through the warehouse. Their lights flashed all around, searching for any sign of life. Their suspects could be hiding anywhere in here, ready to strike them. But Emily didn't care who would be hunting her, she just wanted to find Reid.

Morgan went around another corner while Emily went the opposite way. Her light only gave her so much help. The storage was beginning to thin out, revealing a larger portion of the room, the echo getting bigger. Emily looked around, straining her eyes to see through the dark more easily. Her beam fell straight ahead of her until it was stopped by the wall... Searching it, she at last spotted a large red door in the blackness. Her feet sped up to reach it, hoping it was unlocked.

Touching the handle, it gave to her easily. She let out a sigh of relief. It was immediately stopped by fear... if it was so easy to get in here, was she really heading in the right direction? Still, she had to check and be sure. Carefully, she pushed down on the handle and pulled it open. The squeaking hinge sounded straight out of a horror movie, like behind this door was some huge red faced demon.

But her wish had come true, finding light on the other side. Gun ready, Emily stepped in, checking around for anyone suspicious. Stepping in, she found nothing... this place was just as cluttered as the last room. She closed the door, just to be safe and began searching around.

The storage in here consisted mostly of different packaged food. The Board of Health needed to shut this place down, it was littered with dirt and rat droppings. At least the light was helpful, however dim it might be... what was that? A soft, pathetic moan met her ears from an unseen part of the room. Emily moved faster, heading towards the sound.

Her feet gave a crunch and she looked down. Instead of the dusty floor, her feet had stepped on a pile of rice. Uncooked, spilled rice. Emily let out a breathy gasp, knowing she was close.

"Reid?" she muttered, not caring if the unsubs were nearby. He had to be somewhere in here and if he knew she was coming, he might call out to her. "Reid, where are you?"

He didn't answer, the moan mixed with muffled breaths, growing heavy with panic. Emily followed the rice trail, noticing different spots of splashed among the grains... perhaps these people hadn't done so well at cleaning up their evidence, after all.

At last, the light grew brighter as she turned, finding a hanging bare bulb in the corner. It illuminated the entire space, and Emily shrieked in shock.

* * *

><p>The third floor of the building was dark and quiet, filled with the companies offices, unused for the time. It was dirty and dusty up here, indicating how little interest the owners had in keeping up this place.<p>

Rossi and Hotch made it up from the stairwell into the silence. The first two floors gave them nothing, no indication anyone had been there within the last few days. Their flashlights shined around the dark corridors, giving them little help in their search. Unlike Morgan and Emily, they decided to stick together, and headed down the hall for some sign of life.

The end of the corridor, the men turned left and down another way. The windows were so filthy, they wouldn't let in a bit of moonlight. Rossi stopped, listening carefully to make sure he wasn't imagining it.

"Hotch," he whispered. "You hear that?"

He came to a stop, trying to hear what Rossi heard. In a moment, a distant muffling hit their ears. Almost like a buzzing. Hotch turned, giving him a curious look. "Is that a television?"

In an instant they began to walk faster, following the sound of the TV. It grew louder as they got to the end of the hall, making another left turn.

At the other end was a closed door, but a light came out from under the crease. The men ran as quietly as possible, standing on either side. Hotch gave a nod, getting one from Rossi in return. They were both ready.

Moving into position, Hotch kicked in the door, bathing the hall in fresh light. They fought their eyes against being debilitated from the light in order to get the upper hand.

"FBI!" Hotch cried, he and Rossi standing with their guns poised. "Stand up, hands on your head."

"What the hell's going on?" The old man inside exclaimed, standing up immediately. He dropped his half drunk can of beer beside his bean bag chair, putting his hands up.

"Are you Lester Mills?" Rossi asked, stepping forward.

"Yeah," He replied, still confused. Rossi hooked his gun, immediately turning the man in order to cuff him. "Ow, you're hurting me. What is this about?"

Hotch called into the cops they had one of their unsub team. SWAT had orders to check the property for the second one. He couldn't be far, obviously Mills hadn't been expecting anyone to show up, which gave them an advantage. But he was up here, calm and relaxed... not somewhere torturing his victim. Perhaps, despite their best efforts, they were too still too late to save their friend.

* * *

><p>There was something warm streaming down his back, falling into his wounds. He'd been alone for awhile now, but how long he wasn't sure. The bump on his head had knocked him out for some time. He felt so groggy, like he was in the middle of a dream. Maybe this was a dream, all this misery had been one long, horrible nightmare. And soon he'd wake up in his bed and be has his life back... wherever that was. Because the more he forced his mind to try and think about his life, about all the wonderful things he had before this point, the more vague it became. He couldn't even recall his name right now, the world was so confusing.<p>

But he knew that squeak. The door opened again. They had at last returned. He wasn't sure why he believed they weren't coming back, but it must have been his wishful thinking. That door always sounded when they returned. Any minute now he was going to feel the whips and burns and, the new device, the hot acid.

He could only hear one set of footsteps, moving slowly, heading in his direction. He couldn't do this again, why was his body hanging on? He wasn't going to get out of here, he should just give up... but even as dazed as his thoughts were, he knew he wasn't a man who gave up easily. Because he'd been through things like this before... at least, he thought so.

The feet had started crunching, and that meant he was in his captor's sight. He struggled and panted, terrified of what was going to happen this time. A minute passed and a sharp, shriek of a gasp was heard. Within seconds, the feet were running to him.

"Reid," a soft voice penetrated his dark world. "Oh, my... Reid can you hear me?"

As panicked as her voice was, he felt comforted by it. Safe. Soft hands brushed his face, down to his neck for a pulse. It was like some angel was touching him, coming to take him away from this place. That had to be too good to be true.

She moved around his body, her hands remaining on his sore flesh. Her touch almost seemed to take the pain away. She gasped again as she moved to the back of his head. "Oh, God... oh, Reid, don't worry, we're going to get you out of here."

He couldn't say anything. Just hung there, trying to breathe. Even if the gag weren't in his mouth, he couldn't figure out how to get words out. He wanted to ask for her name, to know who his angel of mercy was. He only hoped his captors wouldn't come in and take her away from him.

"Morgan," he heard her say, "I found him. We need medics in here immediately."

"Where are you at, Prentiss?" A muffled, electronic voice replied.

"Uh... an adjacent room to the loading dock we arrived in. There's a red door that leads to a large, dimly lit room, like a storage space. Hurry, he's got a large head wound and it's still bleeding."

"Is he conscious?" The voice asked again.

"Just barely, I don't even know if he can hear me." She replied. Her hands were working on his bound wrists now. "You've got to hurry, we need to get him help."

"We're on the way." Was all he said.

"Did you hear that, Reid?" She asked. "The others are coming, we're going to get you help." Suddenly, he could feel the pressure brought off his aching knees. His bound wrists went up into the air a moment, and then at last brought down from the ceiling above. His aching body began to fall to the earth, brought into his savior's arms. He rested against her body.

He gargled a bit as she tugged on the cloth, struggling to get it over his head. At last, he was free of the gag, allowing himself to close his mouth at last. He didn't know who she was, but he trusted her, letting himself lean into the warmth of her body. She instinctively cradled him, keeping him in her embrace.

"You've just got to hang on, Reid." She uttered, sounding like she was crying. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry this happened. But you've just got to hang on, okay? Can you hear me? Can you say something?"

He tried. He let wanted to moan at her or gargle or even say a word of thanks, but he couldn't. All he could do was let himself breathe.

Her soft hand fell in between his wrapped ones. "Alright, could you just... just squeeze my hand? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand. Please let me know you're still here."

Gathering all his strength, he focused all his thought on getting his hands to work. They were almost numb, but he forced them together, pressing into hers.

His ears sang with the sound of her giggle, leaning down to press a kiss on his forehead. A few drops fell on him... tears. "That's it," she said, cradling him closer. "That's good, Reid. Just hang on. Hang on for me."

* * *

><p>No matter how many times they wound up here, the hospital waiting room was always the worst place in the world. Emily and Morgan waited for the others, barely speaking to each other. It wasn't due to anger or tension... they were just too warped to make conversation.<p>

Hotch and Rossi were back at the station, successful in the capturing Lester Mills. They wanted to question him as soon as possible, needing to find his partner immediately. They promised to alert them the minute they knew anything. Leaving them with no job but to wait.

By midnight, Morgan returned with coffee, handing a large one to Emily. "You went all the way to Starbucks?" She asked, meeting his eyes.

"I needed some fresh air, and there was one around the corner." He explained, sitting next to her with his own beverage.

"There's always one right around the corner," She joked, taking a careful sip. It was hot and creamy and just what she needed to stay strong. "Thanks, though."

"It's the least I could do... after how I treated you." Morgan grumbled staring at the linoleum floor.

Emily looked to him, his shoulders hunched, like he were a turtle hiding in his shell. "Morgan... if you think you need to apologize, you don't."

"Yeah, I do." He said, looking to her with sad eyes. "I don't know why I have to take my frustration out on other people, I just do... and I don't know why I felt comfortable treating you like that... I don't know why, I always feel like I can yell and blame you and that's not right."

"You do it because you can." Emily shrugged. "All of us. We take pain out on each other because we know, no matter what we say or how we act... we'll always be there for one another. Believe me, you treating me like dirt while our friend was missing was nothing out of the ordinary. Don't worry about it."

He gave her smile, but she didn't return it. Her eyes glistened, her turn to stare at the floor. Morgan put his arm around her.

"He's going to be just fine." Morgan stated, pulling her close.

"He couldn't even talk, Morgan." Emily moaned, leaning on his shoulder. "What if we didn't get there in time? What if he's brain damaged or even brain dead? Or lost so much blood, he... he won't even make it... out of-"

"He will." Morgan assured, patting her on the back. "Reid's strong, he's been through things like this before. You've seen it, I've seen it. We know how tough he is. He's going to be fine."

Emily sat up, meeting his eyes. "Yeah... he's going to be fine."

"And if you ask me, slowing his brain down a bit could only benefit everyone." He teased, giving her another squeeze.

Emily let out a light laugh, feeling a bit of the fear edge away.

"Hey, guys," JJ called as she and Garcia finally arrived.

Both Emily and Morgan stood up, giving each of them a hug. The two explained to the girls the situation.

"Where is he now?" JJ asked, trying to keep a brave face in all of this. It wasn't easy.

"Surgery," Morgan replied. "He had some internal bleeding, they had to fix that. And the head wound was pretty deep, it'll take some work."

"He's going to okay, isn't he?" Garcia wondered.

There was no answer for that. They wanted to believe he'd be alright, that he'd wake up from all this with that usual smile and thoughtful eyes. But there was no sign they would ever speak to their friend again.

At last, the metal doors from the surgical wing swung open, revealing a doctor with a scrubs and a wrapped cap. His eyes immediately landed on the four. "Spencer Reid?"

"Yes," JJ said immediately, each one getting to their feet.

He eyed each one carefully, knowing something about the group didn't fit. "I'm sorry, we need to speak to the family first."

JJ stood defiantly. "We are his family." She said, evenly but determinedly.

* * *

><p>Another sunny day had arrived. One of the last fleeting days of summer. It was warm, but not too warm, indicating fall was up ahead. A window had been opened to bring in some fresh air. The room was mostly empty. His tired body lay in the hospital bed, with both an IV and a heart machine, monitoring every steady beat. He was sleeping peacefully, minor stitches were lined on his torso and arms, the cigar and acid burns treated and wrapped. His knees both had bandages, covering the little cuts from resting on the rice. It was all completed with a roll of gauze wrapped around his head.<p>

Beside the bed was another body, but she was fully awake. JJ sat, diligent by his bedside as she waited for him to open his eyes... if he would. Dr. Robbins, the trauma surgeon, had informed them everything was touch and go right now. His body was fine, but the large head wound which had been impacted at two separate times. They wouldn't be sure how his brain function would be effected when he woke up. Right now, it was uncertain how long he'd be unconscious.

JJ requested the others go back to the hotel and try to get some rest. She promised to call as soon as he woke up. They were probably all wide awake, sitting by their cells persistently. But there was nothing to tell yet.

JJ reached over to take his hand, warm with his blood flowing through it. His wrists were bruised from being wrapped so tightly, but her touch was gentle. She looked over his sleeping face, one of his eyes blackened from something, even with the tape over them. Even after everything he'd been through, he still seemed so innocent. It was that quality about him that let him immediately see the good in people. A light that so many people lose at a young age had yet to burn out inside of him.

At last, by 10 AM, there was a spark of life in his injured body. His breathing changed as he began to wake up, his eyelids slowly fluttering open.

It took some time for his eyes to adjust to the daylight. Maybe that was from being in the dark so long, or from the head injury. Finally, able to see, he looked around him, stopping as he spotted JJ.

"Hey," she whispered, smiling. "About time you woke up, Sleepy Head."

"Yeah," He nodded vaguely. "My head is throbbing."

"You've been through a lot." She said, squeezing his hand. "But they think you're going to be okay."

He didn't give a smile or a sigh or any indication he understood her, that he knew this was a good thing. In fact, he didn't even look happy to see her. JJ was afraid, wondering if he'd been so affected by this ordeal, he would be distant and cold for a long time.

"The others will be here soon," She explained. "Rossi and Hotch caught one of the men who did this, the other won't get away. So everything's going to be fine, okay? This is all over."

He swallowed, his throat sounding dry. "Good." He mumbled. At last he met her eyes. They weren't cold, or distant, or angry... they were scared. JJ had never seen him look at her like that, as if he were afraid of her.

"Do you need anything?" She asked. "Some water? Or some juice?"

Reid thought for a moment, "Water." He whispered.

JJ responded immediately, grateful she could at last do something. Heading to the pitcher, she poured him a cup of cool water, bringing it over quickly.

Struggling, Reid sat up. She helped him take a sip, and Reid drank until the glass was empty. He swallowed, laying back on his pillow. "Thanks," He mumbled.

"Sure," She answered, setting the cup on the bedside table. She sat down, reaching for his hand again. JJ tried not the get emotional over this, fighting through her happy tears to give another smile. "We were so worried about you. I am so glad you're okay."

"Oh," He mumbled, the same eyes filled with fear and uncertainty met hers again. "Who are you?"


	6. The Diagnosis

JJ sat for a long time staring at him, stunned. Utterly and completely stunned. It was a simple question that she had no idea how to answer. Her friend, one of her best friends had just asked who she was. He was here, right in front of her and she was a complete stranger. It felt like some horrible nightmare.

"I'm... I'm JJ." She explained, hoping it would come back to him once he could put a name with a face.

"JJ..." He uttered, like the word of language he'd never spoken. He looked away, his brow wrinkling as he thought intently. It seemed painful in his injured head. "And... I'm..." He thought for a few moments, straining to recall that soft voice. The woman had said Reid, over and over. "Am I... am I Reid?"

She couldn't believe this. "Yeah," she replied. "You're name is Spencer Reid and we've been friends for about six years."

His eyes grew wide at that. Six years, and yet this woman was completely random . "I... I'm sorry, I don't remember you."

"Do you... remember anything?" She asked, eyeing him with caution.

Reid thought, but the very act was incredibly exhausting. He moaned, leaning back on his pillow. Never in her life did JJ feel so unsure, so afraid. But she wouldn't let herself panic. "It's okay," she said sweetly, giving another squeeze to his hand and standing up. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to get your doctor and let him look over you, okay?"

"Okay," he replied obiedently, watching as she went to the door as calmly as possible. She looked back at him with glistening eyes, ready to start crying. JJ pulled open the door and rushed out, leaving him to his very limited thoughts.

He remembered the woman. The angel of mercy with the soft hands that held him until... he drifted away again and woke up here with... JJ. JJ was not the same woman who rescued him. He felt like he knew that woman, very well. That she was someone important to him, someone who was connected to his life in such a deep, personal way... but who was she? Right now, with the uncertainty of the world around him, Reid wasn't even sure if she were real. Maybe just someone his confused, warped mind invented.

The door opened again, this time with a young man in navy blue scrubs and a long white lab coat. JJ was right behind him. "Dr. Reid, good morning." The man said. "I hear we're having a bit of trouble this morning."

Even Reid knew that was an understatement. Immediately, he pulled out a tiny light and began shining it in his pupils. Reid moaned, the beam sending surges of pain into his aching head. "Follow my finger," he informed, holding one straight up. Reid's eyes followed it as it moved across his line of vision, up... down... side to side...

"Does it hurt when you look around like that?" He asked, meeting his gaze.

He swallowed, his throat feeling dry again. "Yes."

"Can you tell me your name?" He continued.

"Spencer Reid..." he mumbled. He pointed at his supposed friend. "She said it was Spencer Reid."

"Miss Jareau had to tell you?" He inquired.

He looked at him, confused, having no clue who Miss Jareau was. JJ took the intuitive. "Yes, I did. I don't think he knows you mean me, Dr. Robbins."

She was JJ and Miss Jareau? That didn't make any sense. But then again, nothing about this situation was making sense. The man, Dr. Robbins, gave a nod. "Okay, we're going to need to run some tests in order to see what we're dealing with. It's probably just a minor brain injury, more than likely it will repair itself, but we need to check and be sure."

"Can I stay with him?" JJ asked, looking to him with a hint of panic.

The doctor looked to her, his eyes filled with the compassion she couldn't see in Reid's. "Until we take him down. A nurse should be here in about fifteen minutes, we'll run a Head CT and an MRI and then we'll go from there."

"Thank you," JJ exhaled. Reid stared at her with interest. She looked so scared, however best she tried to hide it.

Coming over, she reclaimed her seat. "Don't worry..." she assured, taking his hand. "Everything's going to be fine, I'm sure."

He gave a twitch of a half smile, a bit of familiarity about him. He looked to her, meeting her eyes. "You can go, you know. Don't feel obligated to stay with him."

The fact he just said that frightened her. It proved he really didn't know her at all. "It's okay... I want to be here."

* * *

><p>Despite their worry, fatigue caught up with the others, allowing them to get a few hours sleep once settling in the hotel. By noon, everyone headed back to the hospital. JJ had never called and that bothered them, but perhaps exhaustion had claimed her, too.<p>

The waiting room was mostly empty when Morgan, Emily, and Garcia arrived. Just a few people waiting for news on their sick loved ones sat around. To their surprise, JJ was in there by herself, looking nothing less than worried.

"Hey, Sweet Girl," Garcia cried as they approached. She took the seat beside her, setting her shopping bags aside. "I bought a few things for Reid, just to make him a little more comfortable until we get him home... how's he doing?"

JJ didn't know how to answer that. Looking down at the floor, she focused on her shoes, trying to find the right words. They weren't even done testing him yet... maybe she was just jumping to conclusions, she shouldn't worry them.

"JJ," Emily said, taking the seat on the other side. Morgan sat across from her, waiting as anxiously as the girls. "What's wrong?"

"Reid hasn't woken up yet, has he?" Morgan said, solemn.

"Guys," They were interrupted, not even noticing Hotch and Rossi had also arrived. "We have a problem."

Reid was pushed aside for the matter at hand. Everyone looked to him curiously. Their bothered expressions did nothing for their apprehension.

"Lester Mills is not our unsub." Rossi declared, sitting down. Hotch stayed on his feet. He always preferred to be standing when he was agitated.

"What do you mean?" Morgan asked. "How did you prove that?"

"We've been questioning him for hours, almost all night." Hotch informed. "And not only did he not know anything about the murders, he has an alibi for each victim when they were taken."

"But if he has a partner, he could have an alibi." Emily argued.

Rossi had an answer to that. "He was out of town the entire week when Janice Piller was tortured and killed. On another note, he's an upstanding citizen and a loving, devoted grandfather... definitely not someone who takes pleasure in sadism."

"When we told him about the murders, he was sick with guilt." Hotch continued. "The only thing we have on him is four counts of neglect, and that's a $500 misdemeanor on each one. He agreed to be charged without complaint."

"So you're saying we're back at square one?" voiced JJ.

"Not just yet. We're hoping Reid will be able to give us some information, when he's feeling better, of course." Explained Rossi. "He knows behavior, I'm sure he already has a partial profile on the duo."

JJ's chest felt tight; this day was just getting worse. "I wouldn't put all our hope on that."

Hotch folded his arms, concerned. "What are talking about, JJ?"

Her stomach filling with fear, Garcia squeaked "Reid's going to wake up, isn't he?"

"Oh, he's awake." JJ clarified, looking down. "He woke up a few hours ago. He was lucid and alert... but he had no idea who I was." Her eyes came up again, meeting each of the confused faces of her team. "He didn't even know his own name."

The news seemed to send a wave through the group, practically rattling their brains. Reid knew everything. Reid remembered everything, and would tell it without being asked. This had to be some kind of mistake.

Remaining calm, Hotch at last sat down. He met JJ's frightened eyes, searching for more information. "Where is he now?"

Clearing her throat, "Dr. Robbins is running some tests on him. He, uh... he said it's probably something minor that will repair itself, but..." She took a deep breath, unable to stop this horrible premonition. "I don't know, I just have a bad feeling." She looked beside her to Garcia, "I mean, he looked at me, like... like he was afraid of me. I told him we'd been friends for years and... he looked shocked, almost as if he thought... I were lying."

"He'll be okay," Emily assured, patting JJ's shoulder. But as brave as she seemed, she felt like her insides had fallen out. Something was horribly wrong; anything that affected Reid's mind like that couldn't be fixed in a few hours.

Once again, they were waiting. It was another hour before they heard anything, sitting in almost complete silence. It was hard to imagine a person, someone you were closer to than blood family, not remembering you. At last, Dr. Robbins returned, making a beeline for the group. JJ stood up as he approached, intercepting him. "How is he?"

"He's back in his room, he's sleeping right now." He assured. "Physically, he's not feeling anything besides normal post-op pain. That should go away in a day or so."

"What's causing the memory loss?" Hotch demanded. Even in the calmest tone, he was a very foreboding man.

The doctor let out a slow exhale, knowing how hard this was going to be for them. "Please sit down." He said, his hand inidcating their previous chairs. Reluctantly, the team each claimed one again, this time joined by the doctor. They waited impatiently as he prepared himself. He had never presented anything like this before in his short career.

"It seems your friend is suffering from a condition called Retrograde Amnesia, it's an aggressive form of memory loss that occurs after either a head injury or a traumatic event... your friend suffered both to severe degrees."

In Dr. Robbins' position, it was like watching a group of people having just suffered frontal lobotomies. Everyone gaped at him, never expecting to hear that.

Recovering first, Rossi spoke up. "He's doesn't remember anything?"

"From what we can devise, he has approximately 75-80% memory loss. He knows how to do regular, daily tasks, he can take care of himself, he knows how to speak fluently, but everything else is... basically gone."

"Permanently?" Hotch asked. The others seemed much too staggered to form words. Once again, Garcia had found JJ's trembling hand, squeezing it warmly. This just couldn't be happening. It was too fantastic and surreal to be true.

"That's hard to say right now." The doctor replied. "You have to understand, there is so much about the human brain we don't know. There are two forms of Retrograde Amnesia, temporary and pure. If it's temporary then, yes, more than likely he'll recover most if not all his memory. With his memory will come back other aspects about him - his confidence, his personality, his skills. The man you know will return. But if it's pure... then it is permanent. And everything that happened before this event will be gone forever."

The shock was changing now into a plethora of other emotions; fear, sadness, anger just to name a few. It would be just the same had they had been told Reid had died on the table.

He wanted to throttle the doctor, like it were his fault Reid was hurt. But Morgan kept his temper in check. "So, what are you saying? We just have to wait it out and hope at some point he starts to remember us?"

"Not exactly," the doctor informed. "Right now, there's nothing we can do to help him. Cutting into his brain right now will do more harm than good. We can, however, test him again in about a month and see if his brain is starting to heal itself. If it is, we'll know if he'll get better. We may even be able to operate."

"That is good to know, Doctor," Hotch continued sternly, "but we can't stay here. We need to return to DC and our friend needs to come with us."

Dr. Robbins apparently had already thought of that. "I have a few associates in DC, I can refer the case to them. In fact, it's better he's going back to a familiar environment. The more he's around his old life, the better chance his brain has at healing itself... he's going to need all of your help if he's going to get better."

"You just said if it's permenant, there's nothing we can do." Morgan pointed out.

"But if it's temporary and he's excersizing his brain, he may get better faster." Dr. Robbins said. "There are a lot of things you can do if you want to help him."

"We'll do anything." Emily replied, looking around at the others. As scared and bothered as they were, there wasn't one person who disagreed with that sentence.

Dr. Robbins began, "He can take care of himself, he may have a few problems with mundane things - dressing himself, tying his shoes, etc. - but those will correct itself soon enough. However, my advice is that he's not strong enough to live on his own yet. He should stay with a friend."

"He'll stay with me." Morgan said immediately. "He's done that before after being injured."

"It's not going to be like that." Dr. Robbins explained. "He's not himself and working with him and helping him is going to get taxing. You're going to get frustrated and even angry with him. It's imperative that you don't let him see that. If he starts to realize he's a burden, he's going to draw away and that could set back his healing. So after he stays with someone for one or two weeks, he should go to someone else's home."

"We can do that." Hotch said.

"Besides relieving your stress, that'll help him get to know each of you again." He said. "You're going to need to work with him on a daily basis. For one thing, start showing him his regular routine. Let him see where he works, what he's interested in, places that he visited regularly. While your there, talk to him, remind him of things he experienced there. Along with that, you'll need to do some brain and memory excersizes with him, like puzzles, flashcards. Toy stores have a lot of games you can buy."

"Those are for little kids." Garcia argued. "Isn't that like we're patronizing him?"

"You don't understand, Miss Garcia, your friend's memory is like that of a two year old. And like a toddler, it needs to be tested and worked with if he's going to be smarter. I'm not saying he needs to watch Seaame Street and have nap time, but he needs to start from the beginning."

This was insane. None of them could imagine sitting with Spencer Reid, playing the same puzzle games with him as they would with Henry. Dr. Robbins didn't pause for too long, continuing his little lecture.

"The most important thing you need to do is you need to be his friend. He's very alone right now and he needs to feel accepted and loved. It will take him awhile to trust you again, but if he knows you care, it will happen. Spend time with him, a lot of time. As both a group and individually. Tell him about yourselves again, about things you've done together. And make sure he knows that you don't blame him for this. This is not his fault and he's not being a burden. Because since your strangers, he's going to think your being forced to do this. He's going to feel incredibly guilty and may even try to distance himself from all of you. But if you're consistent, he'll come back to you."

JJ nodded. "I think we can handle that. When can we see him?"

"He's sleeping right now, but he should be awake soon." He replied, standing up. The others followed suit, desperate to see him regardless. "I'd say he'd be healthy enough to go home by the end of the week, Monday at the latest."

"Will he be able to fly?" Emily asked.

"I'd believe so," He nodded. "Miss Jareau can show you to his room when your ready, if you have any other questions, I'll be in to check on him frequently so you can ask me then."

Hotch muttered a thank you, the only one still able to think clearly right now. The others felt like they were in a whirlpool, their lives spinning out of control. They couldn't care less if he ever became a genius again. All they wanted was their friend back, to see that look of recognition when he saw them... and not the one of emptiness each one feared.


	7. Introductions

His head didn't hurt as much right now. Reid wasn't sure why that was. He had fallen asleep as soon as the nurse helped him back into bed, falling into dreams where he was back in the darkness. And he dreamt of her... his savior. All he could think about was the caress of her hands, her warmth holding him close. The angel that had brought him home... and he wasn't even sure if she were real.

When his eyes fluttered open again, the light had shifted a bit in the window, indicating it was a bit later in the day. Looking around, the blonde woman from earlier was sitting beside him... he'd forgotten her name again.

She hadn't noticed he had awoken yet, staring at the floor. She looked like she might be sick or something. He couldn't be sure, but with her eyes so red and puffy, Reid thought she may have been crying before he woke up.

He wasn't really sure what to say to her. "Hi," He finally decided to mutter, his throat feeling dry again.

She looked up, startled. But with her shining eyes, she gave a smile. "Hey," she replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," he replied. "But a little better. Are you alright, you seem... upset."

"Oh, I'm just... thinking about you, kiddo." She informed, reaching over to take his hand. "I know this is really confusing for you, so take your time and don't get frustrated... but can you tell me the last thing you remember?"

Reid thought for a moment, trying to think back through his life... which turned out to be much more difficult than first attempted. Before waking up in this room was the darkness... the evil laughter... and then finally, the arrival of his angel. "I was in a lot of pain... and it was dark... and then I woke up here."  
>He tired to find a clearer moment... but nothing was coming to him.<p>

"We spoke to your doctor... and it turns out, from the injuries and the shock of the trauma... you developed amnesia. And you can't remember most of your life."

Her explanation was just as much of a surprise to him as it had been to the team. "So... I'm... I..." he couldn't comprehend this. His entire life was lost to him, and he wasn't even missing it.

JJ squeezed his hand warmly, trying to show him he wasn't alone. "Spence, it's okay. They think it might just be temporary. But we are going to take care of you and help you remember who you are. Everything's going to be fine, you don't need to worry."

How could he not worry? His only memories of his life consisted of hours of torture and a hospital. He didn't know where he came from, his family, his life... everything was gone. His head felt like hollow, completely empty. He strained his mind desperately to remember something, one thing from his past that would tell him who he was... but his head felt like a shell.

"I know it might be a little scary, but your other friends would really like to see you. Can I bring them in?" JJ asked pleasantly, feeling more like she was speaking to a child.

Reid hoped by seeing these people, it might help him recall something. There was no way this could be as bad as this woman, who's name he still couldn't remember - what was it? It was something with a J - was making this out to be. She was probably just overreacting.

She stood up, going to the door. Poking her head out, she called. "You guys can come in now." She called.

Within seconds, five other people joined them in the room. The woman closed the door before going over to reclaim her chair. "Does anyone seem familiar?"

Reid barely looked at them before giving a shake of his head. The team stared at their poor friend. He looked so timid and small, like the body of his former self, his essence was taken away from them.

"That's okay," she said, with a gentle smile. "You're going to learn all about them again. Do you remember my name?"

She watched his fingers mess nervously with the hem of his blanket, giving another head shake for a no. He felt so embarrassed, he couldn't look at anyone.

"JJ," she stated. "You call me JJ."

Oh, yeah, that was it. His sad hazel eyes looked to this woman, having no idea the impact she'd had on his life. "JJ." He repeated.

"That's right," She smiled. "It's okay you don't remember, you will. And these are your other friends." She indicated the man who stood closest to her. "This is one of your best friends, Derek Morgan."

"Hey, kid," Morgan said, smiling. "I know this is a little weird for you, but we are really pleased to see you. And when we get home, you're going to stay with me for a little while."

"I..." Reid cleared his throat, glancing timidly at this man who was supposedly one of his closest friends. "I don't want to be any trouble."

"It's not any trouble, kid." Morgan spoke with such sincerity. "We're just glad you're okay, we don't mind taking care of you."

His eyes fell to the blanket again. Morgan remembered the first day he'd met Reid. He had been just as scared as he was now, joining the BAU, fresh out the academy. But he was determined to show he belonged there, and forced himself to look everyone in the eye. To speak as clearly and confidently as possibly, and Morgan found every opportunity to tease him since that day. Seeing him like this was heart breaking. He wouldn't dream of teasing him now.

"This is Penelope Garcia," JJ said, going to another blonde woman, right next to Morgan. She was adorned in accessories and bright colors, appearing to be a very vibrant person.

"Hey, Reid," She managed to give a smile. "Sweetie... you have no idea how happy we are that you're okay."

He was giving up on eye contact now, giving a subtle nod. "Thank you."

"If there's anything you need, Sweet Boy, you just let me know." She informed. "Don't even think about it, we're here for you."

He could only nod. Reid hadn't even met all of them and he wanted them to leave. Still, they seemed so delighted and determined to be here with, he wouldn't turn them away. Maybe that was a sign he did care about these strangers... somewhere, deep, deep down.

"And this is our boss, Aaron Hotchner." JJ continued, going to a tall dark haired gentleman. "We call him Hotch."

Reid had no idea what kind of work they did, but he figured he wasn't qualified for it anymore. "Hotch..." He mumbled. "That might be easy to remember."

"We're going to miss you at the unit, Reid. But I promise, we're going to do everything we can to get you back. Don't worry."

"I won't," Reid said, not even realizing how rare the smile was that Hotch was giving him. "That's... nice of you."

"There aren't many people like you, Reid." Emily stated with a smile. "You'd be too hard to replace, even if we wanted to."

Reid looked over to the other side of his bed, glancing at the woman who had just spoken. Once his eyes landed on her though, he couldn't force himself to look away. Firstly, she seemed so familiar, the first thing he remotely recognized. Her smile was sweet and bright, making him feel comforted for the first time since he'd woken up. It lit up her delicate face and rich brown eyes.

Reid didn't know much right now, and he may never again. But he knew he was never going to see anything more beautiful than the woman before him.

"I'm Emily," she informed after a long silence, noticing how long he was staring at her. "Emily Prentiss, I'm another one of your close friends."

He wasn't frightened of her either. He wanted to speak to her. That was saying something. "Hi... Emily..."

Her smile turned even brighter. "You look much better, I'm so glad you're getting better."

"And this is David Rossi." JJ finished, going to the last man. An older gentleman, slightly shorter than their boss.

It took all his energy to look from Emily to the last man. He was feeling much better about these people now. "Hi, Reid." He said kindly. "I can't imagine how hard this is on you, but don't worry. We're going to help you get better. We're here for you."

"Thanks," Reid said, feeling self-conscious again. As new as these people were to him, though, he felt he should try to get know them. Maybe it might strike a memory. "So... we all... work together?"

"Yes," Garcia replied, grinning. "We've all worked together for... five, six years."

"Oh," Hearing that made him feel despondent. So much of his life was gone. And what about before that? What happened to him before he met these people? What about his childhood or his parents? He pushed the growing questions aside. One step at a time. "And what is it we do for a living?"

Perhaps hearing the reality of their work wouldn't be so wise right now. "Uh... well, we work with law enforcement. We study human behavior in order to track down specialized criminals, usually in time sensitive cases." JJ explained.

Reid considered her words carefully for a moment. They were difficult to process, especially with this pain in his head. At last uttering the three words none of them could ever recall hearing from his mouth. "I don't understand."

"We catch serial killers." Morgan stated, not wanting to sugar coat anything. His mind may be like a toddler, but he was not about to treat his thirty-something best friend like a baby. "We focus on how killers behave and use that in order to track them down."

"Oh," He thought for a moment. He wasn't sure he understood that any better, but from the sound of it, it was intense. And a little scary. "That sounds like complicated work... I can't imagine being smart enough to work in a job like that."

"Wow..." Garcia exhaled in a whisper. This was like meeting Reid's evil twin.

Rossi spoke up. "You have yet to realize just how smart you were, Reid."

"And he will be again." JJ assured, needing to keep positive about this. "Guys, um... maybe this is enough for right now. We don't want to overwhelm him."

"You're absolutely right, JJ." Hotch agreed. "We'll come back to see you tomorrow and answer any questions you have, Reid."

"And don't worry about remembering anything right now, kid." Morgan said. "You need your rest, so you relax. The sooner you get healthy, the sooner we can get you home."

"Okay," He mumbled.

Garcia stepped forward, like she was trying not to startle a baby bear. "Reid, um... is it okay if... I give you a hug?"

He swallowed nervously, but figured it couldn't hurt. He nodded again. "Sure."

Smiling brightly, she hurried forward and pulled him into an embrace. Reid's reflexes acted and held her in return. It was rather uncomfortable. After a minute, she let him go, looking over his face. "I know you don't know much right now, Sweetie... but you should know, we love you very much. And soon you're going to remember how much you love us."

"I hope so," He muttered, feeling a little ashamed he didn't.

The others said goodbye, giving him confident smiles and pats as they stepped out. Reid's eyes seemed to automatically fall on Emily. Looking at her made his stomach twist into a knot, so tight it hurt... but kind of a good hurt.

"Bye, Emily," he called as she reached the door. The last to leave.

She glanced over, smiling again. "Bye, Reid. See you tomorrow."

The door closed, leaving Reid alone with JJ again. "Is it alright if I stay with you?"

"I'd rather you'd be here than be alone." Reid explained. "If you don't mind staying."

"Not at all, I'm happy to be here." She replied, claiming her seat for a third time. "What did you think of the team?"

He thought for a moment. "They seem like... nice people."

"They're the best people in the world." She avowed. "They're kind and fun and... they love you very much. And how much you love them... you'll see."

He didn't quite believe her. How can you love someone you didn't even know. He'd have to learn about them again, and what promise was there they'd have the same relationship. They worked together, that forced them to become close. If he couldn't do his job, what promise was there these people were going to like him again?

"You seemed to like Emily." JJ noticed. "Did you recognize her? Did she spark some memory?"

Emily was another story. He had every desire to get to know her, to spend time with her. He was grateful to JJ... but he was wishing Emily had stayed instead.

He at last shook his head. "No... I've never seen anyone like her."

JJ lost some of her smile, not realizing what he meant by that. "Well, you'll know her soon enough."

Reid rested his head back on the pillow, unable to think of anything but that smile. He certainly hoped so.


	8. A Special Girl

Reid didn't have much time for the team over the next week. They stopped by every day to check on him, but they were awkward visits. He could tell they cared, that he was a very special person to him, but Reid didn't know what to say to them. Luckily, with his injuries, the drugs made him groggy and it was easy to fall asleep when he didn't want to talk anymore. When he woke up, they were gone and JJ would be there. He didn't mind her, she was quiet and attentive and didn't speak to him like she expected his memory to come back at any moment. There was only one other person he wanted to talk to... but she never stopped by.

Monday morning arrived and Reid was discharged. The other stitches on his body were removed. His head wound was almost healed and would have the stitches out in another week. There was no reason why he had to stay in the hospital or Charlotteville, and so was heading back to DC.

Emily did not return the next day, as she had said. She was too ashamed to see him during the week, despite pleas and urging from the rest of the group. She couldn't face Reid, to know his life was in shambles because of her. And he didn't even know it. But they were going home today, finally. She had to get over her guilt if she was going to help her friend get better. Emily volunteered to pick him up that morning and meet them at the airport. She wanted a few moments alone with him, just to talk and explain why this had happened.

The ward was quiet as Emily headed through the halls. She had run the speech through her head all night, wanting to sound perfect. He was going to be so confused by this, he had no clue how close they were or how much he meant to her, but she still had to do it. She spotted his door open halfway down the hall. Emily took a deep breath for courage, quickening her steps as she approached.

"Damnit." Reid muttered just before she reached the archway. Emily paused, listening. On careful feet, she stepped in. Reid's back was to her, staring at his feet, his busy hands out of sight. "Damnit!" He cried again.

"Reid?" Emily asked, grabbing his attention. Startled a bit, he whipped around and met her curious gaze. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, looking back to his feet again. "I'm just... having some trouble..."

Emily set her purse down, walking over to see. His fingers were fumbling over the third button, the other two fastened into the wrong holes. "I... I'm having... I can't seem to... figure this out."

"Here," Emily said, reaching over. She pushed his hands aside gently to take over. "Let me do this."

Reid complied, annoyed and saddened he needed to be dressed like a feeble dependent. Emily straightened his dress shirt and skillfully moved along each button to fasten them. "Don't worry," she said softly, "Pretty soon you'll be doing this yourself, no problem."

"Thanks," he managed to mumble. Emily didn't seem to notice his breath hitch as he felt her touch through the fabric. What was it about this woman who captivated him so? He felt no connection to the others; he could take them or leave them. But Emily... she was the only proof he belonged in this world.

Her hands stopping at the second to last button. She brushed out the wrinkles, straightening his appearance. "There, you look very handsome now."

His face suddenly felt warm, looking at the floor. "I looked at it and... I knew what to do, but I couldn't get my brain to... get my hands to work."

Emily looked up, meeting his soft hazel eyes. They looked so scared, afraid of this new world he'd been thrown into. "No one expects you to be 100% right away. Not the doctors, not your friends... we know this is incredibly hard on you. You just need to take it one day at a time."

His eyes looked away, not wanting to appear weak in front of this beautiful woman. Emily placed a hand on his cheek, bringing his gaze back. "Reid... I know you're frightened and you feel alone... but you're not. If you need help, you just have to ask."

She was afraid he'd pull away, but instead, he fixed her with a revealing stare. He recognized her touch... that soft touch that had brought him out of the darkness. He reached up, placing his hand over hers.

"It was you." He uttered. "You were the one... who... rescued me, who held me... it was you."

She hadn't been expecting that. "Yeah..." was the only word she could find. Emily took her hand away, much to his displeasure. "Um... there's actually something I wanted to talk to you about... concerning that." Looking at the bed, already made, she brushed his arm. "Can we sit?"

Reid nodded, following Emily as she sat on the edge of the bed. She wanted to take his hand, like she usually would, but wasn't sure how he'd respond to that. "Uh... I know you're not going to understand... but regardless..." She closed her eyes, feeling her heart thudding in her chest. "I need to tell you I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Reid repeated. He may not know much, but he knew a person only apologized if they were in the wrong. "Was this your fault?"

"Let me explain." She urged, still resisting the urge to take his hand. "The night you were taken, you were supposed to come to my room at our hotel. And... you wanted to change and get cleaned up first... but you had left something in the car. So when you went down to get it, you... that's when you were attacked."

The Spencer Reid she knew wouldn't blame her for this, he would do anything to put her mind at ease that she was not in the wrong. Emily could only guess what this new form of her friend would do.

She hadn't expected the smile that spread on his face. "I knew there was something different about you."

Confused, "What?"

"When I looked at you... I felt like you were different from the others." He explained. She gasped a bit as he claimed her hand, his fingers entwining themselves between hers. "As soon as I saw you... I don't know, I just knew you were... special." He grinned brighter. "Why did you wait until now to talk to me? Do the others not know about us?"

Emily was shocked, never expecting him to make that leap. "No, Reid... we weren't... I mean..." This was going a lot worse than she had planned. "I needed someone to talk to. You're always there for me and... even though it was late, you offered to stop by and listen." She glanced out the window at the summer sun. "If I had just let you go to bed... this wouldn't have happened to you. And I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

She didn't notice how disappointed he was, shrinking back a bit. He cleared his throat, "I don't know much, but... I don't think that's really your fault. I mean, it's not like you were forcing me."

"I know," She nodded. "I still feel terrible. And... I'm not looking for forgiveness, I just need you to know how sorry I am that this happened." She swallowed, forcing herself not to cry, however much she wanted to. She squeezed his hand, which continued to hold hers. Emily moved closer to him. "I promise you, I will do all in my power to help you through this. And maybe when you do remember... you'll realize just how horrible I feel that this happened."

Reid thought for a moment. "Is that what I would do?" He wondered. "I would... forgive you and... understand you didn't mean for this to happen?"

"Yeah," Her body betrayed her as a tear dripped out. Emily hung her head as she wiped it away. "You'd tell me those things, usually while giving me a hug."

To her surprise, he closed the distance between them. Slipping his hand away, he pulled her into his arms. It seemed much more sincere and warmer than the one he shared with Garcia. He held her close to his familiar body.

"I don't blame you for this." He explained. "I'm not saying this because I don't remember what happened, or because I'm trying to be like myself... I honestly don't believe this is your fault. And I forgive you."

Emily held him in return, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt him breathe in the scent of her hair, just like he used to. For a moment, it almost felt like she had him back again.

* * *

><p>While Emily was picking up Reid, the others gave their profile on their missing unsub team. No one had been taken in the last week, which was saying something. But it possibly meant their criminals had left the area. The case was officially declared cold and put into storage until new evidence came to light.<p>

The plane ride back to DC wasn't very long. Most of the team was relaxing, playing cards and talking pleasantly. Hotch and Rossi were conversing alone near the back of the plane. Their tones were hushed, not wanting to draw the attention of the others.

"So... do you think they're just going to let him go?" Rossi asked.

Hotch shook his head. "They don't know he has amnesia. Even blindfolded, they're going to assume their identity is compromised. And that means they'll do one of two things."

"Run away or... come after him." Rossi said. He glanced at Reid, who was sitting by himself at the front of the plane. His dazed eyes were staring out the window. "Either way, the leader is psychotic and sadistic. He won't be able to stop until we catch him. We'll have to keep an eye out on similar disappearances in this and the DC area. They have his badge, it won't be hard to track Reid down."

Hotch glanced at the poor, confused boy that was once a certified genius. "Let's not worry him about it. He's frightened enough right now. We'll focus on this on our own. We'll bring the others in soon enough, we can't exactly give this our full attention currently."

"I'm sure Strauss would love that." Rossi replied. "I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have a stack of resumes on your desk to fill Reid's space."

"Well... we'll postpone that as long as possible." Hotch said, though it was easier said than done. Strauss was not a woman to be given the run around.

JJ couldn't concentrate on her cards. Her eyes kept glancing up at Reid, sitting all alone. He rested on his hand, staring out the window. Normally, she'd wonder what sort of anomaly was going through his mind as he sat like that. But now he seemed lost.

"I fold," she informed, setting her hand down. "Guys... we shouldn't be ignoring him."

The others all turned to look, like they were the cool kids and he was some kid in the Chess Club with pimples and no friends. Morgan felt guilty. It was awkward being around him. Reid was just as much a stranger to them now as they were to him. But they knew better. They should be making an effort and so far, they talked to him twenty minutes a day and helped him onto the plane. That wasn't enough.

JJ stood up. Without a word, she headed to the front, carefully taking the seat across from him.

"Hey," she smiled, hoping it was genuine. "What are doing up here?"

He shrugged. "Just sitting..." he replied. "The clouds are pretty this high in the sky."

Glancing out the window, she nodded. Yeah, they were pretty. JJ hadn't noticed clouds since she was five years old. "Um," she said, turning to look at him. "We thought you might want to play cards with us... if you want to."

He looked at the group, pretending they weren't interested in what he had to say. "I don't... I don't remember how to play."

"Well," JJ grinned. "You didn't know how to play poker when you first joined the team, so I think we can teach you again."

He still seemed reluctant to sit with these people. "Come on," JJ moaned. "You have to get to know us eventually, Reid. You may as well start now."

She was right. These people weren't going to abandon him. As strange as they were to him, he didn't exactly want to be alone. Reid stood up, getting a pleased grin from JJ, who lead him back to the group.

To his delight, she forfeited her seat beside Emily, allowing him to sit down. "Are you going to teach me?" He grinned.

"You bet," she replied. "And I am the only one who could beat you at poker, so you can't have a better teacher, kiddo."

Sitting across from him, Morgan started dealing out the cards. Beside him was Garcia, giving him a confident smile, and on the other side of him, JJ claimed a seat across the isle. Maybe these people weren't so bad.

The game commenced, much slower than usual considering they had to explain everything to Reid. Emily paid little attention to her hand, helping Reid decide what to take and discard, and how many pieces of candy to bet, which wasn't easy. At last the others had an advantage on Reid and wouldn't pass up the chance to beat him.

"Okay," Emily nodded, keeping her poker face as she looked over Reid's cards. She leaned into whisper in his ear. "Now, you're close to a Full House, so you want to keep these. Discard the Ace and five and ask for two."

He moved close enough so only she could hear, his lips just inches from her skin. She couldn't remember Reid being this close before, not in such a calm circumstance. And it was making the hairs on her neck stand up.

"Now, what if I don't get the cards I need?" He asked.

"That's why this game is about luck." She explained softly. She should have been uncomfortable having him this close, practically sharing the same seat. But she wasn't. In fact, Emily felt at ease being like this... probably from the relief that her friend was okay.

"I'll take two." Reid finally said, discarding the ones Emily had indicated. Morgan handed him two from the deck, which Reid carefully arranged.

"Three," Emily informed. She took a glance at Reid's hand and hid her smile.

"Dealer takes two." Morgan informed. "It's to you, Baby Girl."

"I fold like a fluffly towel on laundry day." She announced setting down her hand.

"I'm with you," JJ agreed. "Reid, what about you?"

"I'll call." Reid said, tossing in a few Tootsie rolls.

"Em?" Morgan asked.

"Call." She informed. Her candy joined the bunch.

"Dealer calls." Morgan announced, adding to the pot.

"What do you got?" Emily asked.

"Well, you guys better hop of out of the shower," Morgan smugly smirked, setting down his card. "Because I've gotta flush."

"Damn," Emily muttered, tossing her straight aside. Looking to Reid, she saw he was trying not to look to pleased. "What do you got, Reid?"

He set down the cards. "What did you say that was? A Full House?"

Emily grinned as the others gaped at his hand. "Are you kidding me!" Morgan cried. "Even when the kid is brain damaged, he still beats me!"

The girls giggled, watching Reid claim the pile of chocolate and candies. "Great job, Reid." Emily smiled, nudging his shoulder.

He shrugged with a grin, "I couldn't have done it without a great teacher." He said. Reid handed her a few pieces of chocolate, leaning into her ear again. "See, I was right... I knew you were special."

The others hadn't heard what he said, but couldn't ignore the pink forming in Emily's cheeks, unable to stop the huge smile spreading on her face. JJ exchanged a glance with Garcia, knowing there had never been a time Reid had made her blush before.


	9. We've Only Just Begun

JJ signed her name at the bottom of the paper. She read over her words one more time before folding it thrice and nestling it into a white envelope. These letters were hard to write, summing up the entire circumstance in the simplest way possible. JJ wasn't even sure if she could comprehend this, but nevertheless, she needed to know what was going on.

As she sealed it, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she called.

The door opened and Emily stepped in. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Oh, uh..." she indicated the unaddressed mail in her hand. "Well, Reid used to send letters to his mother every day. I didn't want her to go for however long it takes for him to get his memory back... if he even gets-" She cut herself off, trying to stay positive about this horrible situation. "So, I took it upon myself to write to her."

"Does she understand what happened to him?" Emily asked, skeptical.

"I didn't even try to explain the whole thing." She assured. "I told Mrs. Reid that Spencer is sick and... he can't write to her right now. But I tell her every day that he's okay, what he's doing, that he's getting better... and he misses her." She shrugged. "Because if he were... healthy, he would miss her."

"That's sweet of you, JJ." She said. "Reid's going to be very grateful when he gets better."

JJ finished addressing the letter and put a stamp on it. She'd drop it in the mail slot later. Standing up, "Are they here?"

"Morgan called about ten minutes ago, they should be here any minute." She answered, grinning a bit.

They hadn't seen Reid much since they'd gotten back. On Tuesday they were thrown into a case and traveled to Albany. All except Morgan, who stayed behind to take care of Reid. Now, Friday morning, they decided to bring Reid in to see the unit, just as the doctor ordered. Everyone was hoping this visit would do some good.

Emily followed JJ out of her office, heading to the bull pen. She had to admit she was looking forward to seeing Reid. Since Monday night, she couldn't stop thinking about him. She assumed it was the lingering guilt from this whole situation. Soon, though, it would be her turn to spend some time alone with him, and she would do all in her power to help her friend. Though, Emily had to admit, she was lacking in ideas on how to make that happen.

The others were waiting in the bull pen when the girls arrived. Emily couldn't help but glance at Reid's desk, the mess left untouched since the Monday they left. She spotted a large leather bound book, a bit worse for wear. Emily reached and grabbed it. Reading the spine, she found it was the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe. He had gone to that lecture the weekend before.

Her fingers opened the book with a bit of interest. The paper was yellowing, most of the pages dog-earred. Reading the inside cover, she read - S.C. Reid 11/13/1987. He'd gotten this book when he was only seven years old. It was probably a very prized possession. And she knew he'd be very upset if anything happened to it.

"Oh, they're finally here!" Garcia exclaimed, spotting the elevators open through the glass doors. Emily grabbed the book and took it over to her desk, slipping it into her bag. She'd give it back once he was better and remembered how much he loved it. Before the others noticed, she hurried to the group. Morgan opened the door for Reid, allowing him inside.

"Wow," was the first thing he uttered, stepping in. He took in the size of the place, amazed.

"That's the first thing you said when you started here," Morgan mentioned, following him. "What do you think?"

"It's big." Reid mumbled, greatly intimidated. His hands went into his pockets, as they always did when he was nervous. He looked around at all the different desks and halls that lead to other offices and rooms.

The team was not the only group of people interested in the new arrival. The gossip of Spencer Reid's condition had spread like a wildfire through the Bureau. There were so many varying details, everyone had their own version of the story. Now that he was here, everyone paused what they were doing to watch him, others in their offices found excuses to step out and take a gander at the witless wonder.

"Why are they staring at me?" He asked, noticing all the workers, some now whispering a bit to each other. Most of which were pretending they weren't interested.

"They're just... happy you're back." Rossi replied, giving a cold look to a group of young interns. The girls got the hint and hurried off to get back to work, the other slowly going about their day. "It's good to see you, Reid. How are you feeling?"

He was nothing better than horrible. His entire life was a mess. He could barely take care of himself, he wasn't sleeping because he kept having nightmares, and he could tell the kind of pressure he was on these people. Reid knew how annoyed Morgan was, however much he tried to hide it.

"I'm okay." He lied. "My head doesn't hurt as much anymore."

"That's great, Reid." Hotch said. "It's nice you were able to come today."

"We've really missed having you around." JJ added, coming forward to give him a hug. She felt his body tense under hers, barely allowing his arms to wrap around her. It was only a few seconds before he pulled from her embrace. Garcia got the same response from him, but didn't say a word about it. He was just nervous, and he still wasn't very comfortable with them. They could accept that for now.

No one but Emily noticed how Reid glanced up to catch her eye. It ended only a second after it began. Emily wanted to hold him, but knew she would get the same attitude he was giving the others.

"Well..." JJ glanced at the boys. "How about we show you around? Let you experience this place again, see if anything looks familiar."

He was also getting very tired of that phrase. Whenever he was showed anything, there were always questions if it seemed familiar. But nothing did. Everything surrounding him was strange and new. He wanted to experience this new world around him, but it was exhausting trying to force old memories to resurface.

The two girls took custody of Reid, beginning to lead him through the bull pen. Morgan made a beeline for the break room, the others following him.

"You look like you haven't slept in a week." Emily said, watching as he got himself a cup of coffee.

"I basically haven't, Prentiss." He admitted, the bitterness obvious in his tone. It was a relief to finally let his irritation out. "It's like taking care of a newborn. He only sleeps twenty minutes at a time, and then he wakes up screaming because he had a nightmare. He can't remember how to pour his cereal or tie his shoes or anything. I'm exhausted."

Hotch tried to be sympathetic. "The doctor did say it was going to be rough. And you're taking the first shift, that's got to be hard. Are you working with him? He's not going to get better if we don't work with him."

Morgan took a long swig of coffee, wiping his mouth before he replied. "Yes. We've been doing puzzles and playing games every night. He's getting better at math, he reads almost as fast as me now, but his memory still sucks. He woke up this morning and had forgotten my name again."

"It's going to take time." Hotch assured. "If you don't think you can handle this, we'll end your shift early."

"No." He said immediately. "I'm annoyed, yes, but I am not going to let that get the best of me. I know this isn't his fault. And I owe it to the kid to do this for him."

"I think it's karma for all the years you teased him." Emily joked.

Morgan let out a light chuckle. "Prentiss, I think you might be right. So, when his first doctor's appointment?"

"Not 'til the end of the month." Rossi said. "Robbins said there won't be any significant change until then. All we can do is work with him and hope for the best."

Hope for the best. It was a fancy way of saying there was nothing they could do. But it was good advice. It was hard not to think about what would happen... if they found out no healing had occured in his brain, and their friend would be lost forever.

Morgan took a long swig of coffee, almost emptying the mug. He turned to fill it again. "How's it going keeping Strauss at bay?"

"Not too good," grumbled Hotch. "She hasn't required we fill his position yet, but she's mentioned several times to me about looking at the current academy class and see which cadets would make good candidates."

"It at least gives us time." Emily said. "The class doesn't graduate for another six weeks, if we can prove to her by then that Reid's getting better, we may be able to save his job."

"Another reason why we need to stay diligent." Hotch added. "Rossi and I have kept in touch with the Charlotteville PD. There have been no more disappearances or murders since we left. It's only been a week, but these two are dedicated. They would have taken someone by now."

Furious, Morgan set his mug down forcefully. Coffee sloshed onto the counter, as he shook his head. "I hate those two... they cannot get away with what they did to him."

Hotch folded his arms. "I agree, but what can we do? We can't waste man power searching for people we have no identifications on, even if they may be closer to the area."

"Do you really think they're after Reid?" Emily asked.

"Their murders were for a purpose." He stated. "This was more than sadism, what I can't say right now, but this was more than just desire. And we know their not going to let Reid go easily."

Considering something, Morgan spoke up, "You know Hotch... I'm not going to be working much over the next week... and each of us is taking two weeks leave as we take care of Reid... I would say that's the perfect time to investigate. We're not wasting the unit's hours, we could investigate things then. I think we can juggle the kid and this case at the same time."

Hotch wasn't so sure it was a good idea, but protesting would be futile. If they were passionate about something, this team didn't let anything stand in their way. "Don't take on too much. And you can't neglect Reid, remember he comes first."

"I will." Morgan assured. Emily was just as pleased about it, too. At least it was something they could do.

* * *

><p>"And this is the conference room." JJ said as Garcia opened the door. Reid's large, hazel eyes were busy observing everything around him. From the carpet under his sneakers to all the holes in the ceiling about his shaggy hair. This place was not what he expected. The size and neatness made it very forboding. He could imagine working here for six years.<p>

"We meet in here, mostly to discuss new cases." JJ continued to explain. "This is also where we work when a case is close to home. I present the cases on the big screen and all the information is sent to the ipads."

"Wow," He said again. He spotted the bulletin board; empty right now in lack of a case. And you guys fly... all over the country at the drop of a hatch?"

"Basically," JJ replied. "About a day before, sometimes less, I pick the case that is currently in the most need of our attention. We always have go bags with us, so it's easy to take off so quickly."

This was interesting. It was intriguing to hear about what he did for a living, and honestly kind of scary. Reid wasn't so sure if he could do this kind of work anymore. Dealing with death and murder and such sickening parts of society didn't seem like something any person would want in his life. Then again Reid didn't know himself... maybe he wasn't sane.

"So what do you think so far?" Garcia asked, chipper.

"I think... it's a prestigious place to work." He informed. "I think only the best kind of investigators get to work here."

"Well either you're getting your memory back or you've already rediscovered how great a profiler you are." Garcia replied. "You're an amazing agent, Reid."

"Yeah... has Morgan told you just how... unique you are?" JJ wondered.

Reid's landed on a large map. Washington DC sat at the top. On the side, Reid's eyes landed on the little town of Quantico. There wasn't much there, besides the FBI and academy. Other than that it was a jumbled mess. It was giving him a headache, and looked away. "Uh, no." He finally answered. "He hasn't told me much about myself."

They weren't sure if they were the right people to tell him this. But Reid had to know exactly what he was striving towards. Right now, he thought he was some average person and that was all he was trying to be. He needed to know the truth.

Clearing her throat, JJ took a quick glance at Garcia. "You are... quite a unique person, Reid. And that's a fact."

"You mentioned, back in the hospital, that you weren't sure if you were smart enough to do this job..." Garcia continued, softly. "But in reality, you are... you're a... a genius."

"Genius," Reid repeated. That could be a relative term, but these girls didn't seem to be taking the definition lightly. "How smart am I?"

"You have an IQ of 187, that's one of the highest in recorded history. Higher than Albert Einstein." JJ explained.

Confused, "Does he work here, too?"

"Uh... no..." JJ continued, trying not to giggle at that. It was wrong to think his ignorance was funny, but he was awfully cute. "You can also read 20,000 words per minute and you have an eid-."

She cut herself off at once, but it was too late. Reid had heard the partial word. "A what? What else do I have?"

"Before this... you had an eidetic memory." Garcia save her friend the trouble of having to reveal this. "That means you remembered... just about everything. Almost instantly."

"Huh," he uttered. "So... I've got a lot more to remember than I thought."

"You don't have to remember everything, Reid." JJ explained. "Before this, yes, you did know a lot. And you were... highly revered in the academic world. You graduated high school at 12-years-old, you went to Cal-Tech, that's one of the best schools in the country. You've had over a dozen papers published and you have three Ph.D.s. That is fantastic... but your friends? All we want is for you to remember your personal life. Just to know where you came from and... the people who care about you."

He was staring at the floor now. The gentle blue of the carpet swirled around the white sole of his sneakers. "Can I ask you a question about that?"

"Sure, Sweet Boy, anything." Garcia exclaimed.

"You guys are nice and all," He said, putting his hands in his pockets again. "And I appreciate everything you're doing for me, but... where's my family? I've been with you guys for a few days now and... none of my family has contacted me. Why is that?"

The girls stared at each other, almost terrified. They hadn't thought about that. This team was the only family Reid had ever known... but it was the truth. They weren't blood and any person in his condition would be curious were his blood relatives were.

"Your family." JJ said.

"Yeah," Reid nodded, still hanging his head. "Do I have parents? Brothers and sisters? I'm pretty sure I don't have a wife or a girlfriend, but I can't just be alone."

At last he looked up, meeting the sparkling blue of JJ's glistening eyes. "Where is everyone?" he asked.

"Well..." Her stomach burned like the acid was beginning to bubble. "You don't have any siblings, you're an only child. Your parents both live in Vegas, that's where you were born and raised. Um... you and your father are kind of estranged. You spoke to him a few years ago, but that was the last time. But we can contact him for you, if you'd like."

"And my mother?" He wondered. "Is she... alive?"

Garcia spoke up. "Your mom is sick. She lives in a hospital because she needs 24 hour care. But she really loves you, and..." She gave a smile, remembering the words she once heard him say. "...you are very proud to be her son."

"Does she know what happened to me?" He asked. The sadness was evident in his eyes.

"Yes, I've been keeping her informed." JJ assured. She debated for a split second, but a little white lie never hurt anyone. "She says she loves you and misses you and hopes that you'll get better soon so she can see you."

"Reid, I know this is hard." Garcia exclaimed before he could get upset. "But what you don't understand is that... we are as much your family as your parents are. Maybe even more. We've been through so much together and, you mean the world to us. You have no idea how much we love you."

With a twitch of his mouth, he glanced at Garcia. "I guess I care about you, too. Right?"

JJ's throat suddenly felt so tight, she almost couldn't speak. "You used to."

The Reid they knew would not let JJ get upset. He would take her in his arms and soothe her, letting her cry on his shoulder, and assure her how much he loved her. But instead, he gave a nod, starting to feel uncomfortable. "Well... I'm going to... take a look around."

With that, he stepped out of the conference room, leaving the girls behind. Immediately, Garcia rushed to JJ to wrap her arms around her. She started to lightly sob on her shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, Honey," She avoqed, feeling like crying herself. "He's going to be alright."

"You don't know that." JJ cried, pulling away. "He's one of my best friends, Garcia... and he's like a completely different person now. It's like Reid's been taken away, and they've replaced him with some look alike."

"Like on TV shows when they change the actor of a main character." Garcia compared. "It's never quite the same... but Sweetheart, I don't think it's like that. I just think... Reid's lost right now. Like he's trapped in himself and can't get out. We just need to keep calling into that darkness... and eventually, our boy is going to find his way home. I know it. You cannot lose faith now, we've only just begun."

She was right. They had a long way to go and accepting defeat now was nothing short of cowardly. Their friend deserved better than that. He deserved everything they could give him. Wiping her tears, she nodded. Without another word, the girls gathered their strength and headed to the door.

* * *

><p>Emily had returned to her desk, signing her name to the first file of the Albany case. Fifteen more folders awaited her report and signature. The weekend never seemed so far away. It had been a very stressful week and all she wanted to do was go home and slip into a hot tub.<p>

She had been so preoccupied, she hadn't even noticed someone approaching her until he spoke. "Um... hi, Emily."

Looking up, she grinned as she spotted Reid. "Hey, I was hoping I'd get to see you."

"I didn't mean to interrupt you." He sheepishly said, indicating her work.

Emily waved her hand at that, pulling away from her desk to stand up. "Oh, please, I need a break and this is the perfect excuse." She stood up, looking over his face. "You look much better, you've got so much more color in your face now."

She noticed the pink forming in his cheeks, but that wasn't uncommon for Reid. "Thank you. And you're as pretty as always."

Emily let out a giggle. She leaned against her desk, folding her arms. "So, what do you think of the unit?"

"You mean does it strike any memories? No, I feel like I've never been here before in my life." He replied sadly. He knew she was going to be just as disappointed as the other girls.

"Well, that's okay. This is going to take time. Rome wasn't built in a day." She said. She could tell that phrase confused him and quickly changed the subject. "So how's Morgan treating you? Is he showing you a good time."

"Well, yeah." He said halfheartedly. "He spends a lot of time of me... but I can tell he doesn't really want me there."

"That's not true." Emily corrected, patting his arm warmly. Reid couldn't ignore the electric sensation at the feel of her unexpected touch. "I just spoke to Morgan and it's not you he's annoyed with, this is just a difficult adjustment for us and we were in no way prepared."

Reid didn't quite believe her. Besides, he didn't want to talk about this anymore. He'd been thinking about her for days, she was the last thing he thought of before he fell asleep, always wishing he could slip into a dream about her. Now that he was here, in the moment with her, he wasn't going to waste it.

"So which is my desk?" He asked.

"That one right behind you." She indicated. The desk next to her, as luck would have it. "It's a little... messy."

"That's an understatement." He said, staring amazed at the pile on his desk. "The mind of a genius, I guess."

Concerned, "What makes you say that?"

"JJ and Garcia told me... they said I'm some kind of genius." He informed. Emily couldn't hide her bit of disappointment. She thought he was starting to remember.

Finding nothing of interest on his desk, he looked Emily's desk, taking in the objects on top. There were papers and files and several different pens. There was a large wooden figure sitting next to the lamp, a cup for more pens and pencils, and two boxes for in and out files. Reid tried not to smile with triumph as he noticed she didn't have any photos. No pictures meant there was no significant other in her life.

"Yours doesn't seem much better than mine, though." He teased with his usual smile. Trying to nonchalant, he turned to lean on the side of Emily's desk beside her.

But he made a fool of himself, as he had often been known to do in front of a pretty girl. His misjudged his own height to the edge of the desk, falling and knocking into the desk, disturbing everything that was on it. Several items fell to the floor along beside the bumbling boy.

"Oh my God, are you alright?" Emily exclaimed, standing up.

His face was turning as red as a beet. He was completely humiliated, wanting to just crawl under Emily's desk and never see the light of day again.

"Yeah, I just, um... tripped." He sputtered, trying to look away.

Emily offered her hand to help him up, giving him a sympathetic smile. "You've got to be more careful, kid, you can't afford to hurt yourself anymore."

"Yeah..." He muttered, accepting her hand and getting to her feet.

As he stood, Emily went to pick up the mess on the other side of the desk. She gasped, spotting the pile. Reid hurried over to see.

"My star puzzle," She whispered, bending down. Indeed, the wooden figure seemed to have burst into a dozen pieces, laying among the papers.

"What?" Reid asked as she bent down.

She picked up one of the wooden pieces, incredibly saddened. "My star puzzle broke." She said softly. "Look, the pieces are everywhere."

"Well, here," He said, bending down. "I'll help you put it back together."

"We can't." She uttered despondently.

"Yes we can," he argued. "It won't take long... which piece goes first?"

"No, Reid... we really can't." She looked up to met his eyes. Her brown eyes were so warm and sweet and Reid wanted to get lost in them for a century. It broke his heart to see them so sad. "See... this puzzle is basically impossible. It's a part of this romantic story."

Interested. "Can I hear it?"

Taking a deep breath, Emily repeated the tale of the young prince, wanting to prove his love to the most beautiful girl in the kingdom, and how the star burst into so many pieces when he dropped it after plucking it from the sky.

"So he... frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love to her and he succeeded and the lived happily ever after."

He wasn't impressed the first time he heard the story. This time, however, she adored the smile that spread on his face. "That's so romantic."

"I thought so, too." She grinned, but it faded as she spotted the mess among the papers. "But the puzzle is basically impossible... there was only one person I knew who could put it together and... well, he can't do it right now."

Reid wasn't stupid, knowing who she was indicating. "I put it together, didn't I?"

She nodding, afraid to meet his eyes. "I never took it apart again because I knew I wouldn't be able to put it back together."

He felt so horrible. His hand reached out to touch her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Emily."

Emily had always felt a warm sensation when Reid touched her. She could never explain it, there was just something about him that comforted and thrilled her. It was nice to see that hadn't changed. Looking up, she gave him a soft expression. "It's okay, Reid, it was just an accident."

"Is there anything I can do?" He wondered, looking at the pieces.

"Tell you what, you can clean up this mess while I get us some coffee." She said, giving him a nudge. She wasn't mad, but it didn't make Reid feel any better about this. "Just put the papers on the desk and the puzzle pieces, stick in the bottom drawer. You'll need to open the top drawer to get it to open."

"Okay," Reid agreed. Emily gave his hair a tousle and got to her feet. Her watched her step over to the break room, her hips swaying every step of the way.

Gone now, alone, Reid looked down at the mess. He gathered the papers and arranged them neatly on the desk. As he squatted down again, he claimed one of the wooden pieces. Glancing up, Emily had yet to return.

Quickly, Reid gathered each of the pieces and stuffed them in his pockets. He wished he had a bag, but they would have to do. Hopefully, he would be able to leave without the others noticing anything suspicious.

* * *

><p>It was late and Morgan was exhausted. He was taking Clooney for his last walk of the night before he turned in. The neighborhood was quiet, and most of the homes and apartments on the block were quiet and dark. He planned to turn in as soon as they got back. Normally he didn't go to bed this early, but he needed all the time he could get.<p>

He knew would have another night of interrupted sleep, jumping to wake Reid when he started screaming from a nightmare. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to survive another week of this. Maybe he could convince the kid to occupy himself for an hour or two tomorrow while Morgan caught a cat nap.

His German shepherd attempted to chase after the orange tabby from the block over, but Morgan pulled him back. He may have a lot of energy, but Morgan was not in the mood to let the dog indulge his every whim. Tugging on his leash, he decided to end their walk a little early. He usually let Clooney burn off his energy by walking him for twenty minutes, but not tonight. He'd done his business, they could go home.

Five minutes later, they got back on Morgan's block. The front window of his townhouse was dim, with only a little light spilling outside. Having such trouble sleeping, Reid always kept the side table lamp on. Perhaps he'd already gone to sleep.

The door was opened and Morgan led his dog inside again. He was wrong, and Reid was still up. He sat cross legged on the couch in his pajamas, like a little kid watching cartoons before bedtime. He was incredibly preoccupied with something, not even bothering to acknowledge Morgan had returned.

His leash removed, Clooney hurried into the living room. He had never been a fan of Reid, glaring at him behind the arm chair, giving a low growl. Reid eyed him cautiously for a moment, uncertain. Morgan knew his dog would never attack anyone, even Reid, but he tried to keep the two apart from each other as much as possible.

"Clooney," he urged, hurrying into the living room. He directed the dog to the steps. "Go upstairs. Now, boy, come on."

The shepherd obeyed, hurrying up the stairs and out of sight. Morgan would find him sleeping in his room when he got up there, taking up the entire bed.

"Sorry, kid." Morgan said. "He's all talk, he'd never hurt another person."

"I know, he doesn't really bother me." He replied, turning back to his project. Many wooden pieces were spread on his coffee table, with another in Reid's hands. He grabbed for one, fitting it together, like it were some kind of game... it looked awfully familiar.

"That's Emilys." He mentioned, remembering it from almost a year ago. "What are you doing with it?"

"I, uh... accidentally broke it. I'm... trying to put it back together." He reached or a third piece, fitting it with the others. "I know it's hard, but... I've done it before, but I can do it again."

He let out a chuckle. "If you say so, kid. But even if you can, you're definitely not going to solve it tonight. You should get some sleep."

"Why, so I can have another nightmare and wake up half of the neighborhood with my screaming?" He asked, glancing at Morgan. "No, thank you."

"You need some rest, Reid." Morgan assured. "You're brain won't get better if you don't let yourself rest."

"I'm barely sleeping anyway." He set the pieces down to try a different combination. "Maybe working on this will tire me out and I won't be so restless."

There was nothing suspicious about this, but it did give Morgan an odd feeling. He had no idea why, almost like it were a prelude to something.

Arguing would do no good, and besides Reid did have a point. If it was keeping his mind off his lost memory or horrible experinces, than so be it.

"Okay," Morgan said. "But I'm going to bed, I'm beat. I'm upstairs if you need anything."

"Okay," was all he said, already distracted by the puzzle. Morgan stepped out, about to head to his room. His foot on the first step, he looked back at Reid. So focus, so alert. Since they'd gotten home, he'd never seen Reid like this... it was almost like his old self again. This was a good thing, and whatever premonition he had was just some over protection for him. That was all.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey guys, I did proof read this, but I got home late and my eyes are tired, so pardon me if anything's off.

Listen, guys, we had a really bad storm here the other day and some lightening messed with the internet, so I updating may be a bit slower from now on, probably once or twice a week. But hang in there, hopefully things will be better soon. You guys really are awesome! And even if I'm scraping for the internet, I'm working diligently on this, so stay tuned! (Lots of great stuff planned for this! :))


	10. Hope and Faith

_Emily never knew she could run so fast. She had to be sure her friends were okay. They would alright, they would stop Syrus before he could blow up the building. Gunshots were heard in the distant and Emily tried to run faster. It was hard with the crowd around her, trying to get out as fast as possible. Kathy was right behind her, just as desperate to find her daughter. Morgan promised he'd get her... and Reid... and everything would be fine._

_Just before they emerged from the tunnel, the force of heat and noise startled them. The church stood in flames from the explosion. It stood in a burning hell fire, to be seen for miles. Emily felt her stomach contract and a throbbing ache in her chest, knowing full well her friends were still in there._

_"Reid!" She cried, praying he'd hear her and call back. "Morgan!"_

_She kept screaming into the chaos, her voice lost into the noise. But there was no sign of her friends... they had to still be inside. Finally away from the commotion, she hurried to the entrance of the church. The heat was almost too much too take, but she waited... waited for a sign of the men she cared most for in the world._

_"Reid..." She muttered. "Morgan..."_

_Among the flames, she spotted a silhouette emerging from the flames. He was sputtering and coughing from the smoke, stumbling over the rubble... and he walked alone._

_"Morgan..." She exclaimed, hurrying forward. Her eyes searched behind him, but no one else was coming out._

_"Emily..." He whispered harshly. He never used her first name._

_Tears formed in her eyes, looking deeply into his. The truth was there before she could even ask. "Where's Reid?"_

_"I'm sorry..." He shook his head. "He... he saw what was happening... he shoved me out of the way, but..."_

_"No..." She sobbed, her tears falling. Morgan pulled him into her arms, giving her all the warmth and strength she needed. Emily wept into the singed fabric of his t-shirt, crying out for her fallen friend..._

Emily was thinking over her nightmare from last night. It had awoken her so suddenly, practically screaming when she opened her eyes. She couldn't describe her happiness when she understood it was just a dream. That in truth her friend was alive and healthy... well, alive.

Despite her growing In Box, Emily couldn't get herself to focus on the work from that weeks case. She was concentrating on her dream; the series of nightmares she'd been having since they'd gotten back from Charlotteville. All of which involved an old case of the BAU's, one where Reid had been in danger. But instead, this time, they didn't save him. Perhaps it was her subconcious fear they wouldn't be able to save Reid from this outrageous illness, and he would indeed be lost forever. Emily wasn't a fan of psychology, considering how warped and twisted her own psyche was, but it made the most sense.

She hadn't even noticed Garcia approach her desk. "Hey, girl... you're going to set fire to your desk if you keep overheating your brain like that."

"Huh?" Emily asked, pulled back to reality so suddenly.

"You looked like you were in a pretty deep thought." Garcia leaned on her desk, standing beside her. "What are you thinking about so hard?"

"Just... Reid." Emily stated.

She nodded. "Big surprise. Not like we really want to think of anything else, even if we could."

Her eyes moved over her desk, looking at the work that would be a lost cause until Monday. "What if he doesn't get better, Garcia?"

"He will get better." She firmly informed.

Emily sighed with a roll of her eyes. "Garcia... I love your optimism. I love that you always try to see the best in everything, always looking for the silver lining... but there is a truth here. Reid may not get better. And the odds that he will are against us."

Garcia's bubbly expression deflated like a shrinking balloon. She frowned at Emily, so tired of everyone's pessimism. "I know that. I'm not stupid, okay. I know just as well as you and the others that we may never get him back. I know you guys tend to focus on the negative so you don't get your hopes up, but I like hope. I like to think someday soon, Reid is going to look at me with that smile and hug me like he used to. Thinking of the alternative just makes me sad. If you haven't noticed, I don't like to be sad. I don't see why anyone would."

Emily shook her head, her hand rubbing her temple at the forming migraine; the result of all this anxiety and lack of sleep. "I want to have hope, too... but every time I try, all I can see is packing up his desk... watching some new, hotshot agent who could never live up to his standards take his place... and never seeing him again. Reid will get healthy and he'll be on his own again, but he won't want us in his life anymore. And losing him like that... it makes me ache. I can't seem to switch my mind in any other direction."

Garcia's annoyance at being lectured softened into sympathy, reaching for Emily's hand in her lap. "That is not going to happen, Sweetie. Reid may not get his memory back, he may lose his job here, everything else may go wrong but... he still needs people. He needs support in his messed up life right now. We are all he has. So even if we don't get him back exactly as store purchased, by the time this is all said and done, we'll still be in his life. We will be a family again."

She was right. Reid didn't have anyone but them, he wouldn't turn away from the people who stood beside him through this. So many in this world weren't as lucky as him. Most people wouldn't be bothered if a friend was suffering like this. Not them. They would be beside him till the bitter end. At times like this, a person really found who his friends were, and once the storm cleared, Reid would realize that.

With a easy smile, Emily met Garcia's gaze. "When's Morgan supposed to get here?"

"By 5, which is just minutes away." She explained.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"Oh, this is going to be great!" She chirped, smiling brightly. "I've got lots of fun things planned. Games I play with Henry when he stays over, plus all of Reid's favorite foods he'll want to rediscover. I've got projects and field trips and all kinds of things to stimulate his learning mind."

"How do you do that?" Emily wondered with awe. "You managed to turn a mandatory nursing job into a fun sleepover. You're like Mary Poppins."

"I've got a lot better tricks than a spoonful of sugar." She winked. Taking a glance at the door, she beamed even brighter. "Speak of the Chocolate Devil."

Emily turned to spot the two men coming into the unit. Morgan was carrying a large duffle bag in one hand and a manilla folder in his other. Reid was just a step behind. His hands were wrapped around each other, cradling a small item. Morgan opened the door, letting him step in first.

"Hey, Baby Girl," He exclaimed as he spotted them. "You know you missed me these last two weeks."

"My life is not complete unless your in it, Sexy Boy." She giggled. "Life is going to be unbearable without me here the next fourteen days, you are aware of this."

"Let's just hope Kevin can fill your shoes." Morgan added.

With another chuckle. "I doubt it. Kevin does not look good in heels."

Looking to her curiously, Emily mentioned. "You say that like you know from experience."

Her eyes looked innocently at the ceiling, bringing laughs to both of them. A minute passed and Morgan handed her the bag. "Okay, well, I'll leave you in charge of Reid's things. I washed all his clothes, he's got his toothbrush and medication in there. And I've included the list of when and how every pill should be taken."

"Oh, thanks, Sweetie." She said, happily taking the bag.

Morgan's demeanor changed to a much gentler attitude."Okay, Reid, that's it for me. You're going to stay with Garcia for two weeks now. Sound good?"

He gave a subtle nod. "Yeah... sounds good."

"Say goodbye to Morgan because you are my bitch now, Boy." She said, a devilish glint in her eye.

Reid, unaccustomed to Garcia's teasing, was very disturbed by that comment. Emily immediately stepped in. "She's just teasing, Reid. You're going to have a lot of fun with Garcia."

"I don't want to be any bother." He informed. "I'm reading really well now, so... you can just give me a few books and I'll stay out of your way."

"Yeah, Reid read almost two books this week." Morgan mentioned, knowing how abnormal that sounded.

"Nonsense, we are going to have a good time, Sweet Boy." She beamed, patting his arm. Reid protected the bundle in his hands cautiously when she touched him, not wanting to drop it.

Before the girls could ask what he was holding, Morgan motioned to Garcia in the direction of her office. "Uh... Baby Girl, can we... talk in private?"

She had almost forgotten. With a nod, she looked to the others, "We'll be right back guys, we'll only be a minute or two."

"Take your time." Emily noted.

The two left the bull pen. Emily noticed how Reid's nervous attitude faded away into something a bit more friendly. She smiled; maybe he was more comfortable in just a pair than groups. It made sense; he was probably a lot more sociable with Morgan at home than here.

She would have hugged him, but his hands were still diligently occupied. "It's really good to see you, how are you feeling?"

"Really good, actually." He smiled. "The headaches have almost completely gone away."

Emily beamed. "That's fantastic! How's your memory?"

"Uh... well, I'm remembering things I'm learning... and I'm retaining them, so I think my short term memory is getting better, but... as for before my attack... it's blank."

"Well that's better than nothing. Before long you'll at least be able to take care of yourself." She noted, masking the fear she had at that.

"Yeah... I guess." He shrugged. "Though I wish I could remember you a little more."

Emily thought that was so sweet. He was at least trying to make an effort. She, however had no clue he was using 'you' in a singular sense.

"So what have you got there?" She asked, looking at his hands curiously. She couldn't see much poking through his fingers, just something lumpy and brown.

"Uh..." He was starting to blush a bit. "It's... a surprise for you."

"For me?" She asked, amazed. "What on Earth is it?"

"Well," He began. Reid was feeling himself sweat profusely, but swallowed his nerves to explain. "I... I felt really bad for breaking your star puzzle..."

"Oh, Reid, that was accident." She assured, running a comforting hand on his arm The electricity she shocked through his body almost made him drop the gift, but he stood firm. "I'm not mad, you didn't have to make it up to me."

"Well, I didn't" He corrected. He stepped forward, setting the item on her desk. "I just... rectified the situation."

As he stepped away, Emily got a sight of her present. She gasped softly, amazed. Her star puzzle sat on her desk, perfectly erect from the first time he had put it together.

While Emily stared at the star, Reid couldn't take his eyes off her. She was completely stunned, never expecting this. Her brown eyes twinkled with delight as the reality sunk in and finally, she began to smile. The joy made her look so beautiful... and Reid had made that happen.

"How... how did you... when did you..." She couldn't piece a sentence together. Emily hadn't even known the puzzle was out of her drawer, let alone being put back together.

"I swiped it without you knowing." He explained. "You said I was the only who could do it... it took me almost a week, but... I did it again."

At last, she looked to him. Her smile lit up her whole face and she was practically glowing as bright as a real star. She couldn't believe he did that. For her, no less. He barely knew her and yet he cared enough about her to spend all that time putting it back together.

"Reid..." She muttered. In a flash, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Emily was never one to show emotion like this, but it was more than just fixing her puzzle. He had shown the kind of affection he used to show her, always there to help. She pressed a kiss on his cheek before wrapping him as tight was possible. "Thank you... you're incredible."

His arms slowly took her into his hold. Reid didn't often hold her quite like this, like he were trying to protect her. The only other time he'd held her this way was when they escaped from the cult, both so grateful they had survived, clinging to each other.

"You're welcome." He finally whispered. As he always did when he hugged her, Emily felt him smell her hair. It was one of Reid's quirks and Emily had never minded it. Especially now, because for just that moment in his arms, it felt like him again.

* * *

><p>"So," Garcia closed her office door, away from prying ears. They may have been doing this on their time, but the Bureau wouldn't be pleased to know they were still investigating the Charlotteville case. "What did you find out?"<p>

"Not much, and there's not much for you to do." He explained. "I found the names of every employee the shipping company has or had since the layoffs began three years ago. Background checks would probably help on those people, especially the ones who were let go. Some of them may have records or medical problems that indicate sadism or kidnapping."

"Okay," Garcia said, looking over the list. She frowned at all the names. "These are only men."

"Yeah," Morgan agreed.

"Well... call me crazy, but isn't it possible a woman could be doing this to? I mean, I'd hate to betray the Sisterly Code, but we shouldn't rule it out."

"Well..." Morgan thought for a moment. "I've got to tell you, Baby Girl, a woman sadist is unlikely. Woman killers choose the quickest, most painful way of killing and almost always work alone. They don't do days of torture, and if they do, they torture mostly men."

"Reid's a man." Garcia indicated. "Despite your attempts to make him feel like a wuss, he is a man."

"One of four victims is a man. This killer was just looking for easy access. Women plan their work much more carefully than that. If she had her eye on a victim and couldn't get her, she'd wait until she could. We won't rule out women for now, but let's not waste our time right now. We need this to be quick and clean."

"Alrighty," She agreed, putting her theory on the back burner. "What else do you got?"

"I've looked into other connections the locations and the victims had other than the shipping company. I didn't come up with much, yet, but I don't have your fabulous tracking skills. Can you look in on that?"

"No problem," She said, making a quick note on her pink stationary pad. "I'll have results, Tuesday at the latest. What else do you have?"

She waited with interest, but Morgan shook his head. "There isn't much to go on. I had a lot of ideas that work with one or two pieces of the investigation, but all together doesn't make sense. We're missing something."

Garcia had to admit, she was disappointed. She could do a lot of good for the team, but they gave her the ideas. If she couldn't think how to search for it in cyberspace, her ideas came up short.

"Don't stress yourself out." Morgan said, sensing her thoughts. His hand fell on her shoulder, bringing her worried gaze to his. "Just look for what I asked and if you come up with a better idea, that's great. Otherwise, don't worry about it."

"Easier said than done," She grumbled. "I want these people to pay for what they did. Reid didn't deserve to suffer like that and neither did those girls. They had families who loved them and they should be able to rest in the knowledge that Karma did it's job."

"And it will." He assured. "We will solve this, we will catch those people."

"I don't see how without a witness. And the only one we have is trapped in himself like he's his own Pandorica."

Morgan cocked his head at that, misunderstanding. Garcia let out a sad sigh. "Reid would have gotten that reference. I miss him."

"Word of advice, try not to think like that over the next two weeks." He urged. "It'll go a lot more smoothly if you don't think about the way things used to be, you have to let Reid rediscover himself... to be honest, I'm not sure he's turning into the man he once was."

"What do you mean?" She wondered.

Morgan was thankful the door was closed. The unit had enough rumors going around about Reid, he didn't need to add to their mill. "It's the whole... nature vs. nurture thing. With his mother and growing up so much faster than his age would allow, Reid turned into a very quiet person. He's come out of his shell a lot since then, but now? Without all those years of fear and worry and mistreatment, he's... almost like a regular guy. He speaks his mind a lot more, he notices more than just logic about things, he more accepting of fantasy and imagination, I think."

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?" Garcia shrugged. "Even after all this time, Reid was kind of an island to himself. He kept his opinions and desires and fantasies to himself. We always wanted him to open up more. Now we have it."

"True," Morgan nodded. "But... I'm starting to wonder if this is one of those 'Be careful what you wish for' things. He's a lot more open, yes, but is that going to change the way we feel about him? If he speaks his mind more, are we going to like what he has to say?"

That was a eye opener. "I suppose you're right... but no matter what happens, I will always feel the same way about him. And I have faith that the rest of the team will, too."

She beamed confidently at her dear friend and Morgan matched her confidence with a smile. He was starting to think he was worrying for nothing, simply looking for things to be wrong. Neither were aware of how very wrong she was.

* * *

><p>Morgan and Garcia returned to the bull pen. They found Emily and Reid chatting pleasantly. It came as a surprise to them to see how content and relaxed he was. He was finally starting to come around, it seemed. As they approached, it was obvious he tensed up a bit, but didn't appear as withdrawn as before.<p>

"Everything okay?" Emily asked as they stepped in.

"Yeah, we were just a discussing a case." Garcia mentioned. No one had told Reid they were still investigating his kidnapping. He was still having trouble sleeping and during the day, hated to be out of sight of someone for more than a few minutes. It might have put too much stress on him.

"Well, girls, I'd say it's about quittin' time." Morgan mentioned, putting his arm around his girl. "What do you say we head out and kick off our weekend right?"

"I'll go find the guys and you find JJ, we'll all go to the Steak Out." Emily agreed.

"The what?" Reid asked.

"It's a bar a few miles in town, we always stop there for drinks or dinner." Morgan explained.

Garcia spoke up, saving Reid from a very awkward rejection. "I don't think that's a good idea, guys. Reid's not up for it and he probably shouldn't be drinking anyway, so we'll just head home. But have fun."

"No, I'd like to go." Reid corrected, looking at the others. "It sounds like fun."

All three stared at him in amazement. "You... you actually want to go? Because I usually have to twist your arm to go for a drink." Morgan explained.

"Well... I figured if you guys are my friends... it's about time I started to get to know all of you."

Garcia caught Emily's eye, giving her a gloating expression. She was right all along. Honestly, Emily had never been more grateful to be proven wrong. "Well, in that case, I think the others will be very inclined to go. I'll go ask Hotch, you guys find JJ."

"I'm on it!" Garcia agreed as Emily walked away. She intended to give Reid a pleased expression, delighted at his effort to get back in the group. But he wasn't looking at her. His eyes never left Emily as she stepped off, staring at her with unmistakeable longing. It was peculiar, never noticing him look at her like that before. Without a word, she hurried away to find JJ, wondering if perhaps it wasn't the team that held Reid's interest tonight.

* * *

><p>AN: I'm sorry this took so long you guys. I got my internet back, but I wasn't pleased with this chapter at first, so I've been working with it to make it better. (I figured the wait is worth it if I put forth my best effort. Anybody who's read my other stuff knows I try not to disappoint the readers.) I know it's a bit slow going, but a lot of good stuff is coming up. After all, this is a romance *wink wink*. :)


	11. On the Dance Floor

The bar had it's typical crowd for a Friday evening. The team was lucky enough to get a booth to themselves, at least. It almost seemed like old times, everyone gathered together for a good time. Morgan ordered a round for everyone and along with some fries.

"Here, Reid," JJ said, grabbing one of the baskets as they arrived, "Have some curly fries."

"I'm not sure if I like curly fries." He admitted, picking up the spiral.

She giggled lightly, "I think it's a pretty safe bet."

"Considering his diet consists mostly of junk food." Emily added with a laugh. Reid couldn't help but smile. She looked like an angel when she laughed, her hair falling back over her shoulder as she lifted her beer to take a sip... the way her lips nestled over the rim of the bottle made him feel warm all over.

"Well, Reid, are you going to try it?" Rossi asked. He leaned back into the leather of the seat, observing the group around him.

At last, he forced his attention from her, looking to the food. He felt sweat on his forehead, but ignored it as he ate the fry. The seasoning mixing with the potato and the batter was delicious. He chewed a minute as he formed an opinion and Reid gave an approving nod. "Not bad."

"Stick with us, kiddo, before long you'll find all the things you used to love." Garcia mentioned. "For instance, has Morgan reintroduced you to coffee yet?"

"Uh, no," He answered. "I mean... he makes it every morning and it smells really good... I just haven't thought to try it."

"First thing thing in the morning, I'll make it exactly the way you like it." She said, giving a wink and taking a sip of her Cosmo.

They chatted for a half an hour, about everything. They talked a little about their last case and Morgan revealed everything they did while the rest were out of town. Reid didn't participate much, just listened. He didn't have much to say as it was. And it seemed, no matter how hard he tried... his gaze kept finding Emily, sitting three people away. It was like his eyes were automatically trained to return to her. And before long, he stopped fighting it.

He loved especially when she smiled, the way her Brandy colored lips curled over her glistening white teeth. Every once in awhile, her tongue came out and licked her bottom lip, letting it sparkle in the low light of the bar. Reid could not remember kissing a girl, but he'd like to try it with her. Every lick of her lips just intensified that desire. Her delicate hand came up to brush a lock of her raven hair from her ivory cheek.

"Reid," He felt Hotch nudging him in the side. "Are you listening?"

"What?" He asked, looking over. He knew his face was turning pink, hoping they hadn't noticed where he was staring.

"I need you to let me out, I have to get home." He indicated. Morgan, on Reid's other side, had already stood up.

"Oh, I'm sorry," He cried, his skinny legs quickly pulling himself to stand. "I didn't know you'd be leaving so soon."

"Well, I need to get home to my son." Hotch informed. "But you guys have fun, I'll see the rest of you on Monday."

"See ya, Hotch," Rossi called.

"Say hi to Jack for us!" Garcia exclaimed.

"I will," He said. Hotch's attention turned back to Reid. He had such a soft, sympathetic expression about him. "I'm really glad you came out tonight, Reid. I know this has been hard on you, but this has been hard on us, too. We've really missed you. It means a lot to us that you're making the effort to get to know us again."

Reid didn't know what to say to that. These people were still strangers to him, but it wasn't like he had anyone else. "Thanks... I'm glad I got to tag along."

"I'll see you soon." He said. "Be careful guys, have a good night."

Reid reclaimed his seat, "I didn't know Hotch had a son."

"Yeah, he's a single father." Morgan explained, taking the spot beside him again.

He was just beginning to realize how little he knew about these people who knew so much about him. A person seemed so complicated when you were getting to know him. "Does anyone else have kids?"

"I do," JJ cried. She'd been trying to find the right time to talk to Reid about that. "I have a little boy named Henry."

"Oh, that's wonderful." Reid replied pleasantly. "He must be really cute."

"He is," She agreed. "In fact, you're his godfather."

His grin dropped a bit with surprise. He blinked a few times before he found his voice. "Wow... wow, I had no idea."

"You should know, he really misses you." JJ added. She reached over Garcia's place to pat his hand. "We're trying to explain this to him... but it's hard for a two year old to understand."

"Well," He shrugged. "I kind of can relate to that, huh?"

He had a point, and the others agreed. "You'll get to meet him and my husband in two weeks, when you come stay with me."

His smile returned, "I look forward to it."

"Alright," Emily said, placing her hands on the table to help herself up. "I don't know about you guys, but I think we need some better music in here, I'll be back."

Morgan's attention had been fading for the last two minutes. His trained, predatory eye landed on a group of college girls across the bar attempting to play pool. "Excuse me," He informed the others, grabbing his beer. "But I believe my expertise is needed elsewhere. I'll be back."

"No you won't." Garcia muttered with a simper. Morgan gave her a wink, the kind of attention he saved only for her, and went off to ladies.

"Well," Rossi grumbled, sliding over to the end of the booth. "I know it's early, but I think I'm going to call it a night. You guys will all be fine to drive home, right?"

JJ lifted her glass of club soda, indicating she'd be completely sober by the time everyone was ready to leave. "Great, have a good weekend guys. And Reid," He said, grabbing his attention. "It's really great having you around again. Take it easy."

"Thanks," He called to his retreating back. He gripped the neck of his bottle, wishing he had something else to drink. He was starting to like these people, but he was getting tired of being treated this way, like they were going out of their way to be nice.

"What's wrong, Reid?" Garcia asked, noticing his scowl as he stared at the table.

"Nothing," he grumbled looking up. His fell across the dance floor to the juke box, landing once again on the figure he couldn't seem to ignore. Emily leaned on the box, looking over the music selection. "I need to stretch my legs."

Before the girls could question further, he stood and made a beeline across the bar. He didn't bother being discreet or acting coy, he just wanted to be near her again.

Emily nibbled a bit on her bottom lip, looking over the songs. She always had trouble deciding what she wanted, in every aspect of her life it seemed, right down to a song on the juke box. She held the quarter in her hand, ready to drop it in once she made a choice.

"Pick a good one yet?" Reid asked, taking her by surprise. Emily gasped, glancing over her shoulder. He stood right behind her... it may have been her imagination, but he seemed a bit closer than natural.

"Still looking," She said, giving a smile. "I'd ask for your opinion, but even if you had your memory, you wouldn't have one."

"What do you mean?" He wondered.

"You're into mainly classical music. Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, other famous composers who's names I can't pronounce." She informed.

"Oh," He replied. "I doubt there's anything like that on there."

"No, and even if there was, it doesn't exactly set the mood for a fun Friday night." She said. He elbow went back on a reflex to give him a playful push.

Reid chortled as she tickled his ribs a bit. "What kind of music do you like?"

"Classic rock, mostly," Emily said, taking another glance at him. It was intended to be quick, but she couldn't turn away so quickly. She had never noticed just how vibrant those eyes of his were. Hazel with just a few specks of green and yellow... she had never really seen them before. They were really beautiful.

It was odd how she was taken in like that. She looked back at the song selections. "Music from when I was a kid... I used to dance a lot back then." She let out a sigh. "Oh, I miss dancing."

"Well," He cleared his throat. "I don't have any experience, but... I think I can handle a slow song."

Surprised, she met his hazel eyes again. "Excuse me? Did you just ask me to dance?"

He blushed a bit, "Yeah... I think I did."

Emily grinned stupidly a moment. This was unbelievable. Reid would never ask a girl to dance, especially her. This was so unprecedented. But caught in that gaze again... Emily couldn't say no.

At that, her decision came to her. She dropped her money into the slot and punched in the number. In a moment, the old song started to play, filling the bar from wall to wall. With a smile, Emily turned to face him, silently praying he hadn't changed his mind.

But he hadn't. Reid offered his hand, taking her delicate one in his grasp. It was so soft, like she were wearing a glove. He lead her further out onto the floor, giving them a bit more room. There were only a few couples left on the floor, but they were of no concern of theirs. Emily was taken in by his arms so naturally... like she belonged there.

_You'll remember me when the west wind blows_  
><em>upon the fields of barley<em>  
><em>You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky<em>  
><em>as we walk in fields of gold<em>

His hand landed into the small of her back. The touch of his fingers through her blouse sent a tingling sensation through her. Her arm went over his shoulder, keeping them close. Emily couldn't remember ever being this close to Reid before. Strangely, she didn't feel uncomfortable.

_So she took her love for to gaze awhile_  
><em>upon the fields of barley<em>  
><em>In his arms she fell as her hair came down<em>  
><em>among the fields of gold<em>

Emily let out a sigh, "I can't remember the last time I danced like this."

"That amazes me," He shook his head. "I would think men would be fighting each other to get you on this floor."

"Not so much," She corrected, "I used to dance more when I was young, which unfortunately was a long time ago."

"Oh, come on," Reid grumbled. "You can't be more than what, 30? 33?"

With a loud, amused laugh, she exclaimed. "You're sweet."

The comment made him turn pink again, his eyes went down to the floor for a moment. His strong hand took control of them both, easily guiding her on the floor. Inside of the gentle song, the world around them seem to melt away, hiding them behind a veil. Emily didn't notice her hand leaving his, her arm going over his other shoulder, bring them even closer.

_Will you stay with me, will you be my love_  
><em>among the fields of barley<em>  
><em>We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky<em>  
><em>as in lay in fields of gold<em>

"Is this right?" He asked, unsure, his free hand resting onto her hip. Another tingle went through her body and she had to stop herself from gasping.

"I think you're better at this than you're letting on, Dr. Reid." She teased with a smirk.

"I think the title is useless now, don't you?" He said, almost apologetically.

"Maybe," She looked at his young face, her hand came up and brushed his cheek, "But I know you're still here... I see you."

Their gaze met and they seemed to lose themselves in each other. Emily's hand left his face and felt herself drawn even closer, puling herself to rest on his shoulder. She felt him smell her hair, and Emily's eyes closed at the feel. The rest of the bar disappeared around them... just her and Reid and the song...

_See the west wind move, like a lover so_  
><em>upon the fields of barley<em>  
><em>Feel her body rise as you kiss her mouth<em>  
><em>Among the fields of gold<em>

Emily was in his complete control. She felt safe enough to let most of her guard down, allowing him to guide her in their little corner of the floor. The hands on her body felt so strong and protective, sliding over her curves so he could wrap his arms around her. He held her tight to him, like he were shielding her from the world. She let out an inadvertent sigh, resting on his shoulder.

_I never made promises lightly_  
><em>And there have been some that I've broken<em>  
><em>But I swear in the days still left<em>  
><em>we'll walk in fields in gold<em>  
><em>We'll walk in fields of gold<em>

Reid loved the combined fragrance of Emily. He closed his eyes and breathed it in... it was familiar to him. He knew this wasn't the first time he was experiencing this scent, coffee and baby powder and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on... she rested her temple on his shoulder, her eyes closed with her silken hair falling over her shoulder. He enclosed her in his embrace, never wanting to let her go. A light, breathy sigh exhaled on the flesh of his neck, and Reid felt himself tremble.

_Many years have passed since those summer days_  
><em>upon the fields of barley<em>  
><em>See the children run as the sun goes down<em>  
><em>Among the fields of gold<em>

No words were needed to know what each was thinking. Neither of them wanted this moment to end. Reid couldn't remember a time he felt so content, so complete. Amazingly, Emily couldn't either. For just a moment, the entire world revolved completely around the man and woman dancing in the bar.

_You'll remember me when the west wind moves_  
><em>among the fields of barley<em>  
><em>You can tell the sun in his jealous sky<em>  
><em>When we walked in fields of gold<em>  
><em>When we walked in fields of gold<em>

Across the bar, they were indeed the focus of attention to the two girls in the booth. At first they thought it was enduring, like Emily was trying to get Reid to open up, to get closer to them. But things had taken an interesting and unexpected term, leaving the girls looking like two trout.

"I'm mean, you're seeing this, too, right?" JJ asked, looking to Garcia who was now beside. "I'm not imagining it."

"Oh, I see it," She nodded, blinking her eyes a few times. "But... I can't say I'm believing it."

"Hey," Morgan said pleasantly as he returned to the table, "Just wanted to tell you girls I'm taking off with Leslie."

"See ya," JJ muttered, never taking her eyes from the dance floor.

Interested, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Garcia exhaled, "It's just... something really fishy is going on."

She pointed across the room, indicating the couple. He spotted Emily, dancing comfortably in the arms of some caring young man... a little younger for her, but he seemed to really like her. The way he held her, it was evident. Good for her, she could use a vivacious young man in her life.

He squinted his eyes a bit, trying to make out the man's face as the two continued turning to the music. At first, he thought he was mistaken. He had to be. "Is that Reid?"

"Yeah," JJ said, looking up to meet his eyes.

"It's like he's trying to absorb her body. Like an amoeba hunting his dinner." Garcia hissed.

Morgan could tell why they were so anxious about this. A month ago, they would have let this happened with nothing more than a friendly tease and perhaps an animated conversation in private later... but now things were complicated. Reid was sick, he needed almost constant care right now. He was just returning to the world, having no idea about anything that made up his life. And now he and Emily were getting a bit too close for comfort.

Emily should know better, Morgan knew. "I've got to get going," He said, looking to the girls. "But I'll talk to Emily on Monday. She may just be lost in the moment right now and... doesn't realize. It happens to all of us."

"Maybe we should handle this together." JJ retorted.

"It's not an intervention, Jay. She's my partner, I know her better than anyone... except maybe..." He instantly fell silent.

"Except who?" Garcia asked with a tilt of her head.

There was no maybe, because the exception didn't know much about her anymore. "Nevermind. I'll talk to her. Monday. First thing. I've got to go, keep an eye on them. And don't say a word about it tonight."

The girls agreed and Morgan took off, following a young strawberry blonde coed to the door. They watched as the music began to trail off, moving to the next song.

It took a moment to accept the song was over and time was moving on. They couldn't stay here much longer. A second more, and at last Emily and Reid pulled away.

"Not bad for your first dance." Emily smiled.

He gave a silly grin, blushing warmly as he looked at his sneakers. "I'm glad I didn't disappoint you."

She bit her bottom lip a moment. He was so adorably cute, she almost couldn't stand it. And it wasn't cute like some innocent, pure hearted boy, like he usually seemed. It was different... cute in a way that made him attractive. A way that made her stare at his smiling lips and wonder just how soft they would feel under hers.

But instead, she reached to give him a kiss on the cheek, the second time that day. "You could never disappoint me. Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

"Only if it's a soda," Reid noted. "I hate the taste of beer."

Reaching for his hand, Emily let out a chuckle. "You always have."

She lead him to the table, thankful not to get a word or curious look from either of the girls. Another hour passed filled with their conversation. Reid had a much better attitude now, asking interested questions about the girls and the men of the team, trying his best to get to know them. At last, they'd had enough, paid for their drinks and food and left for the night. Garcia took Reid home while JJ drove Emily.

"I'm not sure I need a ride." Emily said, climbing into the passenger seat.

"You had three beers. You can't be too careful." She replied. "I'll take you to get your car tomorrow."

"Thanks," She said. JJ started the car and they were off through their nation's capital. At every chance, JJ took a glance at Emily, unable to get enough of the expression on her face. She was leaning back on her headrest, a hint of a smile on her face. She looked so calm and collected.

"Are you sure you only had three?" JJ asked.

Looking over, "Yeah, I'm sure. Why?"

"Nevermind," She waved it off with her hand. Maybe this wasn't very wise, but right now Emily and Reid were happy. And that didn't have to end anytime soon.

* * *

><p>AN: The song is 'Fields of Gold' by Sting, although Eva Cassidy does a beautiful rendition.

I meant to wait a few more days before I added the next chapter, but I had a really bad day, so I decided to post early. Don't you guys just love it when I had a bad day. At least some good can come out of it. :)


	12. Attached

For the next three nights, Emily didn't have a single nightmare. After the night at the bar, she had a greater confidence in Reid and his recovery. Soon, he'd start to recall all the people around him and where he came from. It wouldn't be long before she'd look up and once again find him sitting across from her. Maybe there was something to this hope thing.

Monday morning, she arrived early. She wanted to get a good workout in before they left on their next case. After an hour and half down in the gym, Emily showered and dressed and headed upstairs to the unit, which was just starting to get a little activity.

But she wasn't the first of the team to arrive. Entering the kitchenette, she spotted Morgan sipping coffee and reading a page out of the morning paper. "Hey," she called, grabbing her usual mug. "Happy to be back at work?"

"I guess you can say that." He joked, setting down his paper. "Between hunting deranged killers or babysitting a brain injured genius, I'm not sure which is the lesser evil."

The rich, black liquid filled her mug and Emily went to stir in the cream and Splenda. "I'm not sure, I'll let you know after I've had my turn as the nanny. Did you talk to him lately?"

"No, but I spoke to Garcia. She sounded tired, probably hasn't gotten much sleep this weekend." He explained, draining his coffee cup. He stood to get himself a refill.

"He's still having nightmares?" Emily inferred. It hurt so much to think of him in that consistent terror.

"Yeah, and he follows her around like a puppy." He grabbed the carafe and poured. "He's so shy and it's impossible to get him to open up, yet he doesn't want to be left alone."

"I think he's making some progress, though." She said. "He's seems a lot calmer since we first brought him home. I think he's really starting to trust us. Reid has never been one to open up, but he's making an effort to get to know everyone. I think that's a big step for him."

Morgan nodded as he took a sip, careful not to burn his mouth. All weekend he'd been debating how to bring this up. The wrong word could really make a negative impact. He didn't want to sound like he was accusing her of anything. Swallowing, he took a deep breath. "You two seemed to have a nice time last Friday."

He was surprised at the bright her smile that spread over her face, like she were in a state of complete bliss. "Yeah... we really did. It almost felt like old times, you know."

"Really? Because I don't remember you and Reid ever dancing like that before." He stated, fixing her with a concerned stare.

Emily's smile faded. "You saw that?"

"We all did." He explained. "I told them I'd handle it, that I would talk to you."

"Talk to me?" She asked. "I dance with my friend and that constitutes a talking to?"

"Prentiss, it looked like a lot more than two friends dancing." Morgan corrected. "And that makes me wonder. Was there something going on between you guys... before this happened?"

It took a moment to find her voice. "No..."

"You hesitated. Why did you hesitate?" He pressed.

"Because I was surprised. I can't believe you asked me that. No, Morgan, there is nothing going on between me and Reid." She avowed.

"You swear? Because you two seemed awfully close out there, not to mention comfortable." He contended. "I'm not trying to make it implicate you or criticize, I'm just concerned."

Emily took a deep breath. Now that she thought about it, she had let her guard down a bit with him, perhaps a little too much. Shaking her head, "I just... I miss my friend, Morgan. It felt like we'd been apart for ages. We were together and the slow song and the way he smelled with his arms around me... it just felt like him again. I forgot where I was, I guess. But it was nothing, I promise."

Morgan seemed convinced, but was still bothered. "And Reid knows that?"

"Oh, come on. Reid wouldn't misinterpret that, even in his condition. He wasn't the least bit concerned about romance when he was healthy, do you really think it's on his mind now? And with me? You remember how much Reid hated me when I first started. He was just being my friend, that's all."

Those words didn't taste right in her mouth. Emily knew that was a lie, even without proof. A man didn't hold a woman like that if he were just trying to be nice, even one in Reid's state. But before that thought had a chance to ferment, she quickly pushed it away.

"Seriously," She urged. "It was nothing. There is nothing going on between Reid and me. Nothing, and there won't be. You don't need to worry."

He was satisfied with that, giving a nod. "Yeah, I'm sorry... I really don't know what I was so worried about, any of us. I think we're all just a little paranoid about Reid, we're kind of walking on eggshells with the very subject... I have no idea how we're going to get through this."

"At least in a few days, we'll know if there's any progress." She said, picking up her mug again. "And if there's not... we'll still get through it. We always do."

Emily was the most logical, pessimistic woman he knew. Her confidence made him stronger. "Yes, we do, don't we?"

She gave his arm a pat and smiled. "Well, I've got some files to fill out for Hotch, I'd better get to work."

"Paperwork... that I did not miss." Emily chuckled at Morgan's comment, heading to her desk. Just as she approached, the ring of her cell phone sounded in the quiet bull pen. She hurried to her seat, pulling it out of her bag to answer it. Spotting the ID, it was Garcia. That was unexpected.

"Hey, girl," Emily exclaimed as she answered. "What's wrong, are you alright?"

"Uh... it's not Garcia." Reid timidly said on the other end. "It's... me."

"Oh," She exclaimed with surprise, "Reid, hi... are you alright? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," He replied. There was a tremble in his voice. "I'm sorry, I just... I didn't know your number so I borrowed Garcia's phone... kind of, she doesn't know I'm using it."

"She won't be mad, Reid." Emily assured. "What's going on?"

"I don't mean to bother you. I know it's early and I know you're working, I just... I've been thinking about you a lot since last Friday, and I... uh, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Emily felt a twist of panic in her stomach. Perhaps Morgan's concern had some merit after all.

Behind her, Rossi was crossing through the unit. He was on his way to his office when he stopped, spotting Emily on the phone. His intuned intuition told her immediately who she was speaking to.

"What is it?" Emily wondered, a little breathless with worry.

"Well... this is kind of hard for me to say." He stammered on the other end. "But... you and I are friends, right?"

"Of course we are. We're best friends." She said, smiling a bit.

"Well... don't get me wrong, the rest of the team is great. I'm really starting to like them. They seem like nice people, but... I don't know why, but I think I'm the most comfortable with you." He took a deep breath. "My first doctor's appointment is this Friday, I'm... I'm really nervous about it. Garcia is supposed to take me, but... I think I'd be a lot calmer if... if you came with us. So if you're back from your case... would you come with me?"

She silently breathed with relief. Like Morgan, she had no idea what she was so worried about. "Of course I will."

"Really?" He asked, surprised. "It's not a huge inconvenience?"

"Don't be silly, I'd love to go. I'll do everything I can to make sure I'm back in time." She assured.

Emily was certain he was smiling on the other end. "Great. Thank you so much, you're a really great friend."

Her eyes looked across the desk at her puzzle, standing tall as it always had. "Funny... I was just thinking the same thing about you."

"Well... I'll let you go." He grumbled a bit, sounding reluctant to say goodbye. "Good luck on your case."

"Thanks, I'll call you when I get back, okay? You need to get better, so take it easy." To her surprise, she was just as regretful to hang up as well.

"I will," he vowed. "Bye, Emily."

"Bye, Reid." She said. She had to almost force herself to hang up the phone. Her fingers set it aside, staring at it for a moment. Morgan's words came back to haunt her. He had only asked for her to come along. Sure, Garcia would be there... but for some reason, he felt braver with Emily. Was it a good idea to agree to go with him, to indulge him like this? The presence of someone beside her at last registered and Emily looked.

"Hey," she exclaimed, startled.

"Hi," Rossi responded. "How's Reid?"

He must have been there awhile. "He sounds okay... he wants me to go with him to the doctor on Friday." She explained. "I... told him I'd go."

"Good, I'm glad. This has got to be terrifying for him." He said kindly. "He should have all the support there he needs."

Rossi stood firm, waiting for Emily to voice the thought troubling her mind. It was so obvious, he could hear it long before she spoke. "Do you think he's getting too attached to me? I mean... he said himself, he prefers me out of the rest of the team."

"I think he is getting attached." Rossi agreed. "But I think that's a good thing."

"You do?" Emily asked. "The others seem... kind of troubled by it."

"Emily... Reid is in a lot of pain right now. He's alone and he's scared and very soon, he's going to get frustrated; he needs someone he can lean on. He's turning to one of us, at least, that's the best we can hope for." Rossi said.

"Yeah, but why me? Why is he so attached to me?" She asked, not really expecting an answer.

Rossi pretended he hadn't a clue. "We didn't know how his mind worked before, do you really think we can understand it now? If I were you, I wouldn't fight this."

His point did have merit. With a nod, "You're right. He needs me... and I don't mind being there for him."

With a strong smile, he gave her shoulder a squeeze. Emily was always able to connect with Rossi, like a surrogate father. In fact, she was closer to him than she'd ever been with her real father. Without another word, he left her to head to his office.

Reaching the catwalk, Rossi turned to stare at her for just a moment longer. Her finger was running along the side of her puzzle, her eyes glazed over, like she were daydreaming. He knew how much it meant to her, much more than even she knew. He also know Reid trusting in her was not an anomaly, and it was only a matter of time before either of them understood why.

Emily felt better about this. As Morgan had said, she was just paranoid. Her eyes went across the divider to Reid's desk. She imagined him sitting in his chair, focused on an opened book as he swayed in the swivel chair. His finger running down each page as he read at unbelievable speed, his eyes alive and bright as it devoured the information. Those eyes... he had such amazing eyes, why had she never noticed that before the other night?

Emily pushed the butterfiles down and tried to set to work. This was all the process of getting to know him again, that was why she was all these things, why every experience with him was so new and invigorating. In a way, Emily was lucky. How many times in life did someone get to rediscover her best friend? There may even learn parts about him she had never known before.

* * *

><p>Reid liked it a little better at Garcia's. It was smaller than Morgan's, but warmer and friendlier. The light from the street lamp shined through the living room windows, illuminating the room just a touch. Reid was nestled in the blankets on the couch, watching the prisms made on the walls by the beaded curtains.<p>

He was too afraid to go to sleep, because he knew what waited for him in his dreams. The darkness, the pain... and that laugh. He could never escape that awful bone chilling sound. He'd much rather dream about Emily, and that warm melodic chuckle of hers.

As he eyes slipped closed, he began to imagine her soft, gentle hands on his body again. He imagined the twinkle brown of her eyes, lit up like the light of the moon. They highlighted her smile as the locks of her raven hair framed her face, smooth and soft, like porcelain. He longed to run his fingers over every inch of her skin, up and down her curves, memorize every bit of her body.

He opened his eyes again, finding himself alone in the darkness. Reid longed for Friday, desperate to see her and talk to her again. He was anxious about his first appointment, as he knew the rest of his friends were, too. But a part of him felt very guilty. Because unlike the others... Reid wasn't so sure he wanted to get better.


	13. Black Socks

Friday afternoon was cloudy with that certain autumn chill in the air. Indeed, Garcia had needed a sweater today for the first time in months, bundling up a bit when she and Reid left for the doctor's. They hadn't even met the man his case had been turned over to, unsure what to expect. They sat in the waiting room arriving a little early for the appointment. Garcia was busy working on her knitting. Every few stitches, she looked up to take a tentative glance at Reid.

If it were possible, he was more a mystery now than he'd ever been in her eyes. He was usually very quiet and subdued; she was used to him being so serious. Granted, he had loosened up a bit over the years. He cracked the occasional joke and was much more laid back when alone with his friends. But the way he looked at everything now... he was very much like a child. He was interested and curious, and seemed to excited about so many things now. He was a lot more open to the fantastical subjects he used to ridicule. She had to admit, it was an amazing difference.

Right now, though, Reid had his eyes on the door to the office. Emily was supposed to meet them here, but as the day got closer, Garcia knew the odds she'd be able to keep her promise got slimmer. The team had only left Flagstaff this morning. They were sure to be back by now, but Emily might not be able to get away from the unit. And if she did, she may be too tired to join them. She didn't have the heart to tell Reid... not when he looked so excited to see her.

Just two minutes before their scheduled appointment, the door to the waiting room opened. Garcia looked to Reid, seeing him sit up instantly and she turned behind her to look. Amazingly, Emily stepped in, smiling as she spotted them. She quietly shut the door, not wanting to disturb the other patients.

"Hey," She greeted as she sat down with the two. "Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time."

"I can't believe you made it." Garcia exclaimed, setting her work aside. "How did you get away?"

"Well, Rossi knew I wanted to be here." She stated, setting her bag and coat in the empty chair between her and Reid. "He told Hotch and he didn't mind giving me the afternoon off. This is important, after all." Her eyes traveled two seats over to see Reid, watching her in awe. "How are you feeling today?"

"Nervous," He simply said.

"I keep telling him this won't hurt." Garcia assured, reaching over to pat his hand again. "But we've been having a lot of fun this week, haven't we?"

"Garcia's really great," Reid admitted, nodding. "Her place is smaller than Morgan's, but it's homeier. And she doesn't have a dog that keeps growling at me."

Emily laughed softly, "Yeah, that's called the Reid Effect."

"The Reid Effect?" He asked, confused.

"Uh huh," Garcia affirmed. "You tend to give off a certain vibe that is unfriendly to dogs. The same thing happens with children."

"Kids and dogs don't like me..." He muttered, despondent. "No wonder I'm alone."

"You're not alone, Reid." Corrected Emily. "You have all of us."

He looked up, meeting the eyes he'd been enchanted by all week. "That's not what I meant." He tried to explain, looking away.

Garcia glanced cautiously from Reid to Emily, meeting her gaze. Reid never seemed to care about being alone before. It was odd it was on his mind now.

A door on the other side of the room opened, "Spencer Reid?" A nurse called as she poked her head in.

He stood up slowly, Emily getting to her feet with him. Garcia packed away her knitting, grabbing her bag as she stood. Reid led the way to the door with the girls in tow. The nurse, however, blocked their way from entering into the clinic.

"You know, we really only need one person to go with him." She informed the girls. "It might easier if one of you wait here."

Emily and Garcia looked to Reid. He knew exactly who he wanted to go with him, but he didn't want to hurt Garcia's feelings either. She was such a sweet girl and had taken such good care of him this week.

"Okay then," Emily said, backing away. She didn't want to force him to make any uncomfortable decision. "I'll see you guys in a little while."

Reid made a motion to protest, but he kept silent. It was obvious he didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Just by his face, Garcia knew what he wanted. His eyes were silently pleading for Emily to stay with him. As much as she wanted to be by his side, and as cautious as she was for him, she couldn't refuse her friend.

"You know what, Reid," Garcia spoke up first. She smiled easily, as if this meant nothing at all. "You asked for Emily to come, if you want her to go with you, that's okay."

"Are you sure?" He asked, timid.

"Yeah, Garcia, I can wait out here." Emily admitted. She only said it as a courtesy, wanting to stay by Reid's side during this entire process.

"No, no, it's fine." She waved it off. "You just better bring me good news, Pretty Boy."

Reid grinned sheepishly, "I'll do my best."

With a giggle, she reached over to press a kiss on his cheek. "It's going to be okay, Sweetie. I know you're nervous, but you just be brave. And everything's going to be fine."

"I will," he nodded, blatantly afraid. Without another word, he turned to the nurse who allowed him inside.

"We'll be out soon," Emily assured, wondering if it was her imagination or if her voice was actually shaking.

"I'll be here," Garcia replied, sounding chipper. She watched as Emily slung her purse over her shoulder, her coat folded on her arm, and followed Reid and the nurse inside, the door closing once again.

* * *

><p>The nurse led them down one narrow corridor after another. It was enough to make a person claustrophobic. Emily brought up the rear of their group with Reid in front of her, following the nurse. At last, they reached a room with it's door ajar and the nurse pushed it open. She let Reid and Emily enter first.<p>

"Okay, Mr. Reid," she said pleastantly. "You'll need to put on that gown over there and another nurse will be in in a few minutes."

"Thank you," Reid said quietly, looking around the space. It was a regular exam room, complete with the paper lined exam table. Laying on it was the wrap around gown the girl had indicated. He glanced at Emily, then back at the garment.

"I'm sorry," Emily gasped, moving towards the door. "Did you want me to step out for a minute?"

"You don't have to," Reid mumbled, starting to unbutton his shirt. "I can't remember the last time I got changed when there wasn't someone in the room. And, to be honest... I could use some help putting on the gown."

"No problem." Emily assured, setting her things aside. She went to the table and picked up the gown, waiting for him to finish undressing. She attempted to be respectful, not wanting to take advantage of him by checking out his body. But it was incredibly difficult. Like her eyes were magnetically pulled to his uncovering body.

Reid slipped the shirt off his shoulders and set it aside. His fingertips took the hem of his white t-shirt and pulled it easily over his head, revealing his torso. It was by no means the first time she'd seen a bare chest before. She'd been with her share of men and she'd seen Morgan change at least two dozen times, but at the first sight of Reid's, Emily felt her breath caught in her lungs. She was so taken by the sight; the almond colored flesh with a light patch of chestnut brown hair. He always seemed so skinny, but now Emily saw he was tone was perfect for his form. Her eyes moved down to his stomach, over his navel that led to a thin strip of hair disappearing just below the waistband of his pants.

At that her eyes saw him move to the buckle of his belt and Emily felt herself blush, quickly looking away. Her gaze searched for something to occupy herself for a few moments... she wondered how many cotton balls were in that jar, spotting the soap, she considered if the doctors indeed washed his hands as often as recommended... to the plain picture of some unknown landscape hanging on the wall. But it was no use. Despite her best efforts, Emily landed on Reid as he continued stripping before her.

His pants fell from her hips down his legs, revealing his thighs and the light blue underwear he wore. The same hair on his chest littered the top of his thighs leading to the hem of his briefs. She never expected him to be so impressive. Emily swallowed, looking to the ceiling as he tossed his pants onto the chair with his shirts.

Emily rushed forward, desperate to cover him up. She wasn't sure why; Reid wasn't even her type. Why he was making her feel hot and bothered like this, she could never guess. Emily slipped the gown on him, wrapping around his middle to tie it on the side. Her gaze followed the fabric down, unable to forget the body that was hidden underneath it, down his long legs... she looked to his feet and had to stop herself from letting out a hum of saddness. He wore two solid black socks, identical in every way.

Reid looked to her, noticing how she was staring at his feet. "What is it?"

She looked up, meeting his eyes and trying to smile. "Nothing. I just wish the nurse would get here, I'm anxious to get this over with."

"Not as much as me." Reid replied with a half smile. He sat on the table, his black socked feet dangling over the edge.

"Well," Emily mumbled. Her body in it's own control now, she moved beside him, propping herself up on the table. "It's just... doctor's offices always make me a little... uneasy."

"How come?" Reid wondered.

Her mind instantly flashed to almost twenty years ago in Rome, wearing a similar gown as Reid did now. She could almost feel her body start shaking just as it had on that horrible day. "It's a long story." She simply replied and pushed it from her mind. Even Reid knew by her tone it was something she didn't admit easily, and doubted he knew before his incident. He didn't say another word about it.

"I really appreciate you coming today." He said to change the subject. His hazel eyes were so soft and defenseless, looking to her for strength. "You have no idea how much better I feel with you here."

"You make it sound like some huge chore, Reid." Emily reached over to take his hand, squeezing it in her warm grasp. It wasn't the first time they'd done this, but she felt a warm kind of sensation this time... like she missed the physical contact with him.

"I'm happy to be here." She assured, unable to tear her eyes from his inviting gaze. "And... I hate to admit it, but... I also feel a little guilty."

"Emily," Reid whined. "I told you this wasn't your fault."

"No, it's not that..." She looked away, her hand brushing a rouge piece of hair off her face. She wasn't sure why she was admitting her feelings, Emily never let herself open up like this. "It's just that I've really missed you this last month... Look, you and I have been friends for a long time. You mean so much to me, more than I even knew... and now that this has happened, I feel like I've taken you for granted all this time." The last thing she wanted to do was start crying, trying to breath slowly in order to stay calm. The lock of hair falling over her cheek once again. "You never realize how dependant you are on someone until they're gone."

At that, she felt another hand reach across to her face. Reid's long fingers pushed her hair back into place behind her ear, stroking along her cheek. "I'm not gone, Emily... I'm right here. You said it yourself, you see me."

She followed the feel of his touch, captured by his eyes again. It was a very comforting feel being caught in his sight, unlike one she'd felt before. "I do... the best of you is still here. Your kindness and your empathy, your innocence... the way your eyes light up when you smile..." She nodded with a smile. "You really have a beautiful smile, you know that?"

He let a huff of a laugh, but it silenced as his eyes fell from hers and down to her lips. A long silence followed as he stared, trying to work up the courage to meet them with his. With no attainable knowledge, he feared he would do something wrong. That he'd embarrass himself or offend her... but he was hypnotized by those perfect burgandy lips.

Before he could make a move, the door opened by a nurse reading over a clip board. "Alright, Mr. Reid, sorry to keep you waiting."

Emily and Reid immediately pulled apart, both trying to put as much space between them. The nurse was none the wiser, beginning her pre-test check up.

She went right to weighing him and measuring him, to checking his heart and lungs and blood pressure, moving to his eyes, nose and throat. Emily waited, her eyes on the floor trying to understand what had just happened. Being that close wasn't anything to be concerned about, but Emily knew what she felt in the pit of her stomach, and it certainly wasn't platonic. She had actually believed he was going to kiss her and when he didn't, she was not only disappointed... she felt a little rejected.

Just as the nurse was finishing up, the door opened again. A doctor a few years younger than Reid stepped in. "Almost done here, Maggie?"

"Yep," she said, making a few notations in his chart before handing it off. "He's all yours."

"Thank you," he said. With the nurse stepped out. "Alright, Mr. Reid... may I call you Spencer?"

"Sure," Reid replied.

"Great," He pulled the stool away from the counter, pushing his lab coat aside in order to sit comfortably. "I'm Dr. Ashton, I've taken over your case from Dr. Robbins in Charlotesville. So..." he read over the notes in the chart. "It's been a month since your accident. How have you been feeling."

"Pretty good," He shrugged, "I only get a few headaches now, and they're not as severe anymore."

"That's great. And do you take anything for those headaches?"

"Just aspirin." He answered.

"Okay... if they're too bad, I could prescribe a pain killer to help manage them-"

"No!" Emily exclaimed, startling both men so greatly, they jumped.

"Excuse me?" Dr. Ashton asked.

"Uh..." She looked to Reid, unsure how to say this. "Reid doesn't remember right now, but... he has an addiction to pain killers. A few years ago, he had a problem with Dilaudid. Since then, he stays away from any kind of opiates."

The look of shock and embarrassment on his face broke her heart. Reid probably never expected to learn that about himself.

"I see," He nodded. "Well, thank you for telling me, ma'am. And I take it, by that knowledge, you haven't regained any more memory in the last month."

Reid shook his head quietly, obviously still bothered by the news of his drug addiction.

"Okay," Dr. Ashton said, making a note in the chart. He stood back up. "Well, everything looks good, so the nurse will be back in in a moment to take you down to the MRI." He looked to Emily. "Ma'am, you're welcome to stay with him, but you'll have to remove your jewelry and credit cards and any other metal first."

"I will, thank you, Doctor." Emily said, and with that he stepped out, leaving the two alone. She looked to Reid as she stood, unhooking her gun from her belt holster. "I guess this counts as metal?" She asked, lifting it to show Reid.

"Not unless you plan to shoot the doctor." Reid muttered, hopping off the table. Every nerve and worry evaporated as she laughed. He wasn't sure how he could have done this without her here.

* * *

><p>Almost two hours later, Reid and Emily called Garcia into the exam room for the results. It was a bit cramped with three people, but they made the best of it. They were just too desperate to hear the news, not even bothering with small talk.<p>

A knock and the door opened without any response. "Alright," Dr. Ashton cried, hurrying into the room. "Sorry this took so long... end of the day on a Friday, the clinic is a bit busy."

"It's alright," Garcia said, trying to seem as bright and carefree as always while ignoring the gnawing worry in her stomach. "Do the test show... anything?"

He hooked the scans onto the illuminated board, turning the light on. Both pages looked exactly the same, and hope was quickly diminishing.

But Ashton's reaction was much more pleasant. "Indeed they do. On the left here is Spencer's scan from a month ago. Here," He indicated a few squiggles in the temporal lobe of the brain, close to the skull. "This is the original damage, small but severe. Mostly swelling with a few abrasions. Now, in today's scan," He shifted over to the right. The same spot was indicated, black replacing the white. "The swelling has thankfully gone down. Along with that, several of the abrasions have begun to turn gray, meaning they're starting to heal."

"So... my brain is healing?" Reid wondered. He stepped forward, comparing the pictures.

"Yes," The doctor answered, stepping aside to give him a better look.

"And that means," Emily was almost too afraid to ask. "He's going.. to get better? I mean, he's going to get his memory back."

"Well, it's still a little soon to tell, but I think it's safe to assume so." He grinned.

Reid, however, was not as delighted as the girls. He moved from one picture to the other. "I don't get it, it doesn't look like there's been much of a change."

"Spencer, this is going to take some time." The doctor assured. "Healing is a slow process, you don't realize how complicated the brain is."

"And this is your brain we're talking about, Reid." Emily teased.

The doctor ignored her comment. "Right now, there's nothing more we can do. I want to move his next check up to two weeks instead of a month, just to see how we're progressing, but I don't see any reason to operate right now."

"So, just... keep doing what we're doing?" Garcia wondered.

The doctor hesitated a moment. "Well... yes, for the most part. In fact, why don't we let Spencer get dressed while I speak to you two ladies?"

They girls glanced at each other, curious as to what he had to say that he couldn't in front of Reid. "We'll meet you in the hall, Reid." Emily said.

Reid nodded and watched as the girls stepped out, leaving him alone. He didn't get changed right away, though. Instead, he looked to the scans again, comparing them. Something about them... just didn't seem right in his eyes. Possibly something so small, not even the doctor could spot it. But with limited brain power and knowledge... he had a hard time seeing just what it was.

* * *

><p>"What's the problem, Doctor?" Garcia wondered, the fear so evident in her voice. Emily couldn't blame her, just as afraid.<p>

He didn't reply right away, scratching the five o'clock shadow on his chin. He wondered how to voice this idea. "I'm curious if the two of you would consider... some alternative medicine."

"Alternative medicine." Emily repeated. "You mean... holistic healing? With herbs and home remedies. I don't think so, Doctor. Something like this needs real medicine."

"Not so much holistic, I mean more mental." He corrected. Dr. Ashton reached into the pocket of his lab coat and removed a business card. "This is a colleague of mine, Dr. Meadows. She's a hypnotherapist."

That didn't settle right with either of them, like they were turning to shaman or witch doctor to heal their friend. "Why would we want to take him there?"

"It's not as ridiculous as you'd think." He tried to explain. "She deals with a lot of people trying to uncover repressed memories from childhood, blackouts, and traumatic events. Dr. Meadows is a licensed psychiatrist, she just deals with a method that helps the patient heal himself instead of relying solely on another."

Emily took the card. She read over the name, _Dr. Willow Meadows_. It sounded more like a Wiccan than a therapist. She never would have considered this before, but what kind of friends were they if they didn't exercise all options.

"You don't have to make a decision right now." He assured. "Discuss it with Spencer, with the rest of those taking care of him. She may help him recover some memories. At the very least, it will help exercise his brain and help increase his healing."

"Well..." Garcia nodded, thinking. "Thank you for the suggestion, Doctor. We'll certainly think about it."

"Great," He replied. "You won't be disappointed. And we'll see you in two weeks."

Dr. Ashton stepped off, leaving the girls alone. Once he turned the corner, Emily rolled her eyes. "A hypnotherapist? Does he really think we're that desperate?"

She went to shove the card in her pocket, preparing to throw it away as soon as possible. Garcia, however, took it and read it over herself. "I don't know... I think we at least owe it to the team to discuss it together. And Reid should have a say, too."

"I think if Reid were in his right mind, he'd have already thrown this card away." Emily muttered. "But... you're right, it wouldn't hurt to talk about it with the others. And it's only fair."

Garcia smiled, slipping the card into her knitting bag. "Well, it's almost four. The team is going to meet us for dinner at six, want to ride with us? You could drive home and change and we'll wait for you."

"Uh..." Emily glanced at the door, expecting Reid to step out at that moment. "Actually... would you mind if I steal Reid for a few hours?"

Surprised, "Uh, no... I mean, no... but why?"

"I just..." She wasn't sure why she wanted to be alone with him, she just did. Without any threat of being watched or interrupted. "I haven't really gotten a chance to spend time with him. I have a place in mind I want to go. I know it won't be too busy, so we'll meet you guys around six?"

Garcia paused a moment, trying to find her voice. It wasn't odd before when Reid and Emily did things by themselves. The two had similar interests they didn't share with most of the others. Garcia could never forget how excited Reid was when he announced a one night only marathon of all six original Star Trek movies. Though Emily hadn't been quite as enthusiastic as he, she didn't think twice about accepting his invitation to go with him. Unlike the others, who thought quickly of any excuse not to join them. This time, however, there was a different air about them. Like they intentionally wanted to be alone.

But Garcia had no authority to refuse, or demand she be invited to. "Sure... we'll be at Roger's Diner. Call if you need anything."

"We will," Emily said, sensing her discomfort. "You're not upset, are you?"

"How could I be upset?" Garcia asked, starting to smile. "I'm happy... at least we know now he's going to be okay... we're going to get our boy back."

Emily matched her smile, pulling her into a delighted hug. "Yeah, and it won't be long until he hugs you like he used to again."

She gave her a friendly pat on her back and pulled away. "We'll see you guys in a few hours."

"See you then," Emily called as Garcia hurried off. She stood alone now in wait. Yes, they were going to get him back. But it was starting to feel like he wasn't gone, but in a deep sleep... and they just had to find the right way to wake him up.


	14. Perfection

Any fear she had that Reid would be reluctant to go with her was diminished a second after she asked him. He had tried not to be too excited, but it was undeniable how pleased he was at the invitation. Not long after Garcia left, she led Reid out to her car. A drizzle of rain had started in the late afternoon, and Emily immediately got the wipers going as she started the engine.

"So," Reid eagerly asked, "Where are we going?"

She flashed him a bright smile. "It's a surprise."

"Just tell me, is it some place I should know?" He wondered.

"Nope," She answered, putting the car into drive. "In fact, this is a place you've never been before. At least not with me."

They rode through the streets of the city. Emily watched him with interest. At first she thought he was staring out the window at the passing streets and buildings, but after awhile realized he was focused on the window itself.

"What are you looking at?" She finally asked as they sat at an intersection. They were almost there.

"It's so... extraordinary. The way the rain streaks along the glass like this." He traced one of his long fingers to follow one strip of water. "It changes direction with the window imperfections and dirt and the sudden shift of the car... it's really incredible how so many things are effected by the world around it. One slight change can disrupt the entire path of a life... it's amazing."

She could never remembering seeing him like this before. If Reid were fascinated by the streaks of rain on the window, he spout facts about weather patterns or wind distribution or the average glass used in in this type of car model. The unknown wonders of the universe would never cross his mind, unless it were quoted by some scientist or philosopher. To actually hear how he felt about something... it was quite a change. And Emily had to admit, she liked it.

At last, she spotted their destination and pulled into the parking lot. It was mostly empty, but that wouldn't last long. Teens would be by later in evening with groups and dates, and their was probably lessons or a game scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. But for now, it was quiet. Just as Emily liked it.

"What is this place?" Reid asked, looked at the building. There was no sign or title over the door. In fact, at first appearance, the place looked deserted.

Emily wouldn't reveal it. "Just come with me."

They hurried through the rain to get inside. Surprisingly the front doors were unlocked, and inside looked much nicer than out. Emily led him through the halls of the building without a thought, indicating she came here often. A set of double doors stood at the end of a corridor. Emily placed a hand on the bar, giving him a smile.

"You ready?" She asked.

"Just tell me, what is this place?" He asked, wonder and curiousity lighting up his eyes.

"This is my place." She indicated. "Where I come to escape. And for the first time, I want to share it with someone else."

With another flash of her eyes, she pushed down the handle and led him inside.

* * *

><p>"Just make sure the laces are tight." Emily informed as she finished tying her own. "Otherwise, it's very hard to keep your balance."<p>

"I'm not sure I can do this." Reid shivered a bit, the room being so awfully cold. "What if I fall?"

Emily gingerly got to her feet, trudging to the door. Her hands clung to the wall as she waited for him to be ready. "Don't worry, I'm a pro at this. I won't let you fall."

His skates as tight as he could get them, Reid struggled to get to his feet. He walked in the same awkward fashion to meet Emily, taking her offered hand.

"Ready?" She asked, smiling.

He let out a shuddering breath. "Yeah, I'm ready."

And with that, Emily moved to step onto the ice. She looked around to get the feel of the place as she easily adjusted her balance. Sometimes, when she came to the ice rink, there would be one or two people around. Hockey players getting a few practice laps or a cute young couple needing an excuse to keep each other warm. But today was a good day. Not another soul was around. Just her, Reid, and a perfectly smooth sheet of ice laid out before them.

Emily gripped his hand as he joined her on the rink. He slid a bit, but Emily shifted quickly to put her arm around his waist, helping him remain upright.

"How do you keep from falling?" He asked nervously. Both his hands gripped at her arms like he were grabbing on for dear life.

"You'll find your natural balance." She assured. "Like riding a bike, eventually you just know how to stay upright."

"Riding a bike." He muttered, "Yet another thing I have to learn."

"One thing at a time." She assured. "It'll be easier to stay up if we start to move. Don't fight me, it'll be easier to help you if you let your body do what mine tells it."

She pretended the blush in his cheeks was from the cold. Emily easily pushed herself forward, Reid brought along with her. It was difficult to just let his body relax, especially when the most amazing woman he'd ever known had her arms around him. But after a minute or two, he loosened up and guided easily along with her. Their breath came out in white puffs before them, and the cold was bitter against their light clothing. Emily had wished she'd brought some heavier things, but she hadn't expected they'd be coming here today. Still, it was fun to do something spontaneous every once in awhile.

They fell into a rhythm, moving easily together on their skates. "So... how long have you been doing this?" Reid asked, trying to make conversation.

"Since I was a little kid. Four or five, I think." Emily informed. "One of my overbearing mother's attempts to make me the perfect daughter for all the other Bureaucrats to envy. Along with clarinet lessons, ballet classes, and becoming fluent in two languages before I was twelve."

"You can speak two languages?" Reid wondered, impressed.

"Actually, I speak four." She corrected. "But don't be so impressed, you speak three of them, and two more I could never dream of learning."

Reid didn't want to think of the knowledge he was expected to relearn. "Do you still do all those things, or just the skating?"

"Just the skating. I hate the clarinet, it makes my lips chapped. And I loathed dancing ballet, I was so grateful when I sprained my ankle at nine." She sighed happily. "My pirouettes were never the same again. And I didn't really like skating for competition or anything, but I liked the freedom of it when it's relaxed... just like this. Sometimes, when work is getting to be too much or I'm under a lot of stress, I come here for an hour or two. I mean, I travel, I spend my weekends in Atlantic City or New York to blow off steam, but... when I just need a few hours of peace, I come here. This is my safe place, my sanctuary."

"So why did you bring me?" Reid wondered. He was starting to get his balance now, not needing her protection so much anymore.

"Well, Reid, you don't really remember a lot about yourself." She informed, meeting his eyes. "I thought, until you remember your safe place... you could use mine."

He blushed again, "Thanks, Emily."

"Well, it doesn't take a genius to see this is hard on you." She regretted her choice of words, but moved on without comment. "All of us say how difficult this is, but none of us can understand what you're going through. And if you need to get some things off your chest, you can. You always could with me before, so it shouldn't be any different now. Whatever you say to me is going to stay between us... you can trust me."

As he thought, he gave a twitch of his mouth. Emily suddenly was attracted to his lips, a new thought crossing her mind. She wondered if they were just as soft and sweet as they looked, feeling drawn to test for herself. She shoved the attraction into the pit of her stomach; she wouldn't let herself think of him like that.

"Don't get me wrong, they are all wonderful people. I really appreciate everything they're doing for me, and I like them. I really do... but..."

"But what?" Emily pressed. If this were troubling him, he needed to get this out.

"I feel like they're wasting their time." He exclaimed. The first sentence broke the dam and the rest flowed out so easily. "I know everyone wants me to remember, but no matter how hard I try to work and learn, nothing is coming to me. I don't know these people, I don't know where I came from, I don't know anything before the darkness and the pain. And I feel like I'm letting everyone down."

"Reid, you're not letting anyone down." Emily corrected. "I can't believe we made you feel that way."

"Well..." He met her eyes again. "You didn't. You don't treat me like they do. I know they mean well, but I kind of feel like... they treat me like a baby. They're making all my decisions for me, they talk down to me... they tell me I'm a genius, yet they make me feel so stupid and incompetent."

Emily didn't have the heart to tell him they always had a tendency to treat him like that. Instead, her hand found his without realizing it. Not for support, but as a loving gesture. The two hands just seemed to fit so naturally together.

"I know I should be more grateful, but... it's so irritating." He added. "They're trying to show me who I was, but the more I learn... the less I like who I used to be. My old life seemed so empty, so... cold. My closest friends don't even call me by my first name. I'm just... Reid."

Debating a moment, Emily replied, "Well, if you'd like... I could call you Spencer." She couldn't even remember using his first name. But saying it felt much less awkward than she suspected. "Spencer."

He blushed again as he smiled. "You know, every time I'm with you... I just find new reasons to admire you. I can see why we've been friends for so many years."

"Well..." She nervously brushed back her hair as they carefully turned the corner of the rink. "You should know, Spencer, we weren't always friends."

Surprised, "I find that very hard to believe."

"Believe it or not, it's true." She admitted. "We kind of got off on the wrong foot. And I think part of it is because you were dealing with a lot of internal demons at the time. I got under your skin... I couldn't even talk to you without you biting my head off... but we eventually moved on and our relationship became better."

Reid was more shocked by that than learning about his drug problem. "Emily, I'm sorry."

"Oh, Reid- Spencer, don't be sorry." The hand that continued to clutch his gave it a strong squeeze. "It was a long time ago and we're great friends now. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

"I can't believe I was that stupid. I wonder if I were as smart as every keeps claiming." He said, letting out a long puff of air. "I'm just worried I won't be that smart again."

"So what if you're not." She stated. Emily reached across to his other arm, stopping their skate and bringing him to face her. "Yes, if you don't regain your intelligence and your abilities, it will be a great loss for society. But who cares about society? You'll still have your friends who love you. You don't know it, but we are your family. And it doesn't matter what you are to us, it just matters that you're here. You're an amazing man and whatever you turn out to be, we will still be there. No matter what, we will be there. I will be there."

He didn't let his fear get in the way this time. He prayed his trembling legs wouldn't let him lose his balance as he moved forward, his arm going around her waist to slid her closer. With apprehension, he pressed his lips to hers in a light kiss, frightened of what the outcome would be.

Emily immediately felt her mind go into a fog. When a man kissed her by surprise like this, her instinct was to push him off and slap him, but her lips responded by surrendering to him, kissing him back.

At her response, Reid's confidence doubled and he took control of the kiss, doing everything his instincts told him. Their lips moved in a perfect symmetry of each other, like they could sense what the other needed at the moment. His other arm came to enfold her body into his, lifting her a bit in order to give her what she needed. Emily's hand stroked his one arm in affection, the other going over his shoulder. She was completely drowning in his kiss and had no desire to come up for air.

As Reid let her go, his protective arms slipped away and Emily fell back to her feet. She forgot where she was and couldn't catch her balance in time. Gripping Reid's shirt, she tried to stay upright. He tried to grab her again, but the force of gravity was against them and they crashed onto the ice.

Their bodies were entangled together as the pain of the fall washed over them, Emily getting the worse of it, landing directly on the ice underneath him. She half groaned, half laughed from the ridiculous tumble, still clutching Reid's arms.

"Oh, God, Emily," Reid moaned, mortified. "I... didn't expect that to happen."

Emily couldn't stop laughing, her head laying back to rest on the freezing ice. Reid watched her with longing as she laughed. He knew he should get off her, but he couldn't get his body to move. He was completely enchanted by her, just listening to her hysterical giggles. It was picked up by the echo, ringing around the rink like the most beautiful symphony.

It had to have been five minutes before she could finally breathe. Tears were streaming down her face as she grinned. "Are you alright?" She ask through the last of her giggles.

Reid nodded, unable to speak, like he'd been put under a spell.

It took a few minutes, but Emily finally made it to her feet. Once steady, she helped Reid to stand, guiding him to steady once more. "You know... I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. It was wonderful... I'm just sorry I made you fall."

"It's not your fault..." He gave a shrug. She hadn't done anything to make her fall. Reid had been falling since he first laid eyes on her. And he was still falling.

* * *

><p>Neither one mentioned the kiss as they left the rink. Reid was too afraid to bring it up. He had never felt this happy in his life and was certain words would ruin it. As long as Emily didn't say anything, he wouldn't either. Only bask in the knowledge that he had experienced true joy once in his life.<p>

Emily didn't want to say anything, because she was tormented and confused. Not because Reid had kissed her. She could handle being kissed, it was the fact she liked it so much. With her perfectly working memory, Emily couldn't recall a better kiss in her life. It sent a quiver through every inch of her body. There was sure to be some major bruising on her body within the next few hours thanks to that fall, but after a kiss like that, she didn't mind the injury.

She was starting fear what was happening. A week ago, she'd been in his arms on the dance floor and felt the world slip away. With one kiss, he'd possessed her being enough to distort her senses. Was this her fault? Perhaps they were getting too close and she was letting her emotions run amok. There was some kind of transference that happened when a caretaker falls in love with a patient. She couldn't think of the name right now. If Reid were in his right mind, he'd be able to tell her.

_If Reid were in his right mind, this wouldn't be happening_. She said to herself as she drove down the street. The diner was at the corner. It was almost 6:30; sure enough the rest of the team would be there by now. Emily easily parked just a few spaces away from the restaurant, turning off the engine.

"Hey," Reid said as he unbuckled himself. Emily glanced over, hiding her fear behind a cool exterior. "Thanks for taking me skating, I had a lot of fun."

Her coolness melted as she relaxed and grinned. "I'm glad. We'll do it again next week... or maybe we'll do something else. Like go to a movie or something."

He grinned at that. "I'd love to... I really like spending time with you." His hand gripped the handle of the door for a moment. "Uh... when do I get to stay with you?"

"Oh..." She thought for a moment. "Well... JJ's next and... I think I'm after her, so... in another three weeks."

"Ah... okay." He sounded disappointed. Without another word, he opened the door and climbed out of the car, hurrying through the rain.

Emily grabbed her purse and went to catch up, reaching the safety of the covered landing. She was a little startled when he opened the door for her, wondering where he learned that gesture. But Reid had always been a gentleman, and perhaps some of his habits had never left.

It was hard to miss the two tables pushed together at the other end of the restaurant, the others gathered with drinks and menus, talking happily. The two made their way through the developing Friday night crowd to reach their friends, grabbing the two empty seats, situated on opposite sides of the table.

"Hey!" Garcia exclaimed happily, spotting them first. "We were getting worried about you guys."

"Where'd you go, anyway?" Rossi asked.

"Uh..." Reid glanced at Emily, not wanting to ruin her safe place. "Just... drove around."

"In this rain?" Morgan wondered, glancing out the picture window. "The roads are brutal out there, Garcia and I skidded three times on the highway."

"It wasn't so bad," Reid said and left it at that. He stood up from his seat, pushing in his chair. "I need to run to the restroom, where is it exactly?"

"Right over there, around the corner." JJ pointed it out for him. "Should we order for you?"

"JJ, I think Reid can order for himself." Emily said at once, speaking up loudly. After today, she knew Reid would just agree so as not to offend her. But he wanted to make his own decisions and try new things.

She couldn't tell by her expression if JJ was surprised or offended. "I know that Emily. But we know what he likes, we know what he usually orders."

"Actually, Emily's right. I'd... like to decide for myself this time." Reid announced. He sounded nervous, but stood firm. "I might want to try something new... but thank you."

"Sure," JJ said. With that, Reid turned and headed to the men's room. Once he was out of sight, every eye looked to Emily.

"What the hell was that about, Prentiss?" Morgan asked.

"I just think we're making too many decisions for him." Emily announced, setting down her menu in order to make her point. Reid's words from the rink rang in her head. She would no doubt keep his confidence, but that didn't mean she couldn't speak up for him. "He's not a little kid, he can decide what to eat or when to go to bed... don't you think we're babying him?"

"He's been through a trauma, Emily, we have to take care of him." JJ stated sternly.

"There's a difference between caring for him and treating him like a child." Emily corrected. "I mean, it's been a month. I'm sure Garcia told you his results today... I know it's hard, but at some point we have to let him stand on his own feet. And the longer we wait, the harder it will be. For him, too. We can't let him get used to us doing everything for him."

"I think we've always had a tendency to be overprotective with Reid." Hotch said, becoming the voice of reason in this debate. "We almost lost him, I think all of us are afraid of letting him go to soon... but Emily has a point. He's not going to get better if we keep coddling him."

"Which I think brings us back to our last point." Rossi announced, looking to Emily. "We were discussing something before the two of you got here."

"What?" Emily wondered.

"I told the others about Dr. Ashton's suggestion." Garcia said. "About... Dr. Meadows."

She had almost forgotten. "You guys aren't seriously considering taking him to a hypnotist?"

"Actually..." Morgan said. "We've all but decided on it."

Emily was just as offended as JJ had been a few moments ago. "Well... I see you don't desire my input."

"Sweetie, we weren't trying to exclude you." Garcia assured. She hated seeing her friends on opposite sides like this. "But... after how you reacted today, we kind of already knew how you felt."

"I had a better opinion on the matter." Rossi declared. "Reid went to a hypnotherapist a few years ago. He was investigating the murder of Riley Jenkins... and wanted to look a bit into his past."

"I never knew that." Emily replied.

"Most of us didn't." Hotch said. "Reid's always been a private person, he never told us much about that case."

"I was in the room during that session." Rossi continued. "It did a lot of good for him. It did give him the wrong idea about what happened, but he was able to tap into the memories of his childhood. And if he can recall something vague from four-years-old, memories from the last five to ten years will come a lot eaiser. A few memories could open the door to the rest of them."

They way they spoke was so intense and passionate, Emily knew this wasn't about curing him from amnesia. "What are you planning?"

"We're still looking into his case." Morgan explained. "We have some evidence, but it's small. Reid could know a lot more than we can find on our own. If we can get him to recall just a few things about the unsubs or his capture, it could lead us in the right direction."

"It's possible his amensia is caused from his mind trying to block out what happened to him." Hotch added. "If his psyche can accept that, it's possible the rest of his memory could come with it."

"Yeah, and it could do more harm than good!" Emily cried, grabbing the attention of a few people sitting at the neighboring tables. "This could be ripping open old wounds that are better left alone."

"I think you're wrong." Rossi stated. "I think this woman could be our salvation, and we out it to Reid to at least try. The people who did this to him need to pay, not just for Reid, but for the other people who suffered at their hands. And to stop the dozens of others who could die until they're caught."

At that, she let out a sigh. Their points were valid and so decided to concede. "Do not tell him we're doing this because we want to know about his torture, that we're searching for who kidnapped him. As far as he's concerned, we're just trying to get his memory back. Okay?"

They all agreed. Emily stood up. She was feeling very overwhelmed now and needed a moment to think. "I, uh... I need to use the restroom myself, I'll be right back."

Emily stepped away from the table, hurrying to be by herself. For one thing, she felt horrible, keeping things from her best friend, trying to manipulate his mind like this. Her mind was so loud, it felt like she were surrounded by screaming people, all yelling her what she should do, like she had any idea how to handle this. And Reid already had his own problems, what with his nightmares and headaches, he couldn't be sure what he was feeling. Emily wasn't even sure what she was feeling.

She felt a tug on her arm just before she reached the corner. Turning, she spotted JJ. "Hey," she said, "I'm sorry if you feel like we kept you out of this. It wasn't intentional."

"It's okay." She waved her hand as a sign it wasn't the cause for her discomfort. "And I'm sorry I cut you off like that before, I just... I'm trying to look out for him."

"I understand," JJ patted her arm. "I know I'm overprotective of him, I always have been. And he's hurt now, so my maternal instincts are in overdrive. Reid's really special to me."

"Me, too." Emily replied. "I just didn't know how much until he got sick. I mean, I'm trying to spend time with him, to... talk to him like nothing's changed, but... things are suddenly so different. I don't know how to handle it."

JJ wasn't even aware what she was implying. She gave a warm, unsuspecting smile. "Emily, don't feel like you're alone in this. I know you have a tendency to handle things on your own, but... you don't have to be. You have so many people to rely on, take advantage of it."

"I know," She said, she nudged her head towards the corner. "Uh... I'll be out in a few minutes. And then we can have a nice evening, no more cases or problems just... a bunch of friends having a nice dinner."

"We'll wait until you're back before we order." She teased, patting her shoulder one more time. JJ turned and headed back to the table, Emily continued towards the restroom.

As she turned the corridor, she collided with Reid on his way back to the table. "Emily," he exclaimed, grabbing her arm before she could be knocked to the ground again. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were there."

Catching his eyes, Emily didn't let reason get in the way. Without a word, she backed him against the wall, her hands going to his cheeks keep him steady. His eyes closed instinctly as their lips met a second time, moving in the same perfection as before. His hands landed on her hips, sending a warm shiver through her body. He brought her middle against his, sighing contently at the feel.

Their lips parted slowly, taking a moment to regain control. They both let the moment pass before they opened their eyes and carefully moved apart.

"Okay," Emily said, pulling away. She walked towards the Ladies' Room.

"Wait!" Reid called. "Why did you do that?"

Just as she pushed the door open, she glanced back at him, still trying to catch her breath. "I just wanted to see if it felt as good as last time."

His pulse was beating so hard, he could feel it against his t-shirt. "Did it?"

Her breathing shallow, a smile spread on her face, giving her answer before she said it. "It was better," and with that, stepped into the restroom. The door swung closed. Reid thought his heart was going to explode, it was beating so hard, but he was so overjoyed, he didn't care. He slowly turned and headed back to the table, his legs still trembling.


	15. Good Instincts

For the next week, Emily didn't have a single nightmare. Mostly because she wasn't sleeping. For hours, she would lie awake in bed and stare at the ceiling, unable to think of anything but his kiss. The taste, the softness of his lips... that incredible tingling electricity passing through her body. She hadn't felt that kind of sensation from a kiss in a long time. It made her feel like a teenager.

When she finally would sleep, her dreams were of a very different nature. Just her and Reid, lost in some perfect place filled with laughing and touching and a lot more kissing. Hard, passionate kisses that could make someone lose their mind for awhile. They were beautiful, romantic, lustful dreams that left her feeling agitated and confused when she woke, turning back to her watchful stare above her bed.

This had never happened to her before. Emily had never had a friend this long and suddenly begin to develop feelings for him. The first few days, she dove into her work to distract herself. Trying to believe it was just some infatuation from a great kiss and nothing more. It happened all the time. But every day, those feelings grew stronger, almost to an overwhelming limit. On the plane back from Bismarck, as Emily sat alone staring out the window, she had an epiphany. She knew, even after less than a week, this wasn't just a crush. She didn't want Reid for some quick fling or for 36 hours of bad decisions. She had feelings for Spencer Reid. So real and so powerful, she could almost reach out and touch them.

Friday morning, she gave up on anymore sleep. It wasn't even five am and they didn't have a case today, but Emily didn't want to just lay here and think about him anymore. It was fun and exhilarating for awhile, to just lay back and daydream. But after awhile, it became depressing, thinking about how much she wanted him... and certain she'd never have him.

Climbing out of bed, she pulled on her ankle length silk robe with silver and black flowers all over it, tying the sash to cover her nightgown. She stepped into a pair of slippers, instantly beginning to warm her feet. She trudged down the hall of her apartment to the steps and down to her kitchen, heading straight for the coffee maker.

She sat at the counter and watched the delicious black liquid drip into the pot. It was true, she could never hope of making Reid hers. No matter what happened, this was a Catch 22. She couldn't bring this up to Reid while he was sick. He needed to heal, he needed to get better. It would be selfish of her to distract him with her own desires. And he couldn't understand what he was feeling. They had just met, he was just getting to know her. He was just smitten. Once he got better, he'd remember what she meant to him and whatever he was feeling now... would be nothing but a memory. He'd probably even be offended by such a gesture. Emily was beginning to regret ever meeting him in the back of that restaurant.

She was resting on her arms on the granite, staring at the full coffee pot absentmindedly. She didn't even care about getting a cup now, just lost in her own misery. Emily had given up a long time ago on ever falling in love. It had never been a concern of hers, but life had changed her perspective. She was older now, her career had flourished and was probably the best it would ever be. It wouldn't be long before silver appeared in her hair and arthritis started to claim her joints... and she would die alone. It wasn't pity, it was the truth. She had come to terms that she would die alone without any husband or children or grandchildren by her bedside, and she often hoped the job would take her first so she could avoid it. There was so much that could have been. What would it be like to have a family... to give birth to a few babies and raise them and love them... and then send those bits of immortality into the world. And she would have liked to grow old with someone. To create long lasting memories with the love of her live, to raise and love their children, to share the joy of grandchildren and be happy until the day they died.

Today, however, her thoughts were a bit altered. Thinking about Reid, about the possibility of falling for him... she wondered if perhaps that chance hadn't passed her after all.

No... that was stupid. And she was stupid to even consider it. Because she and Reid would never happen. And she would just have to force these feelings aside until they went away. Because they would go away, even if she had to make them.

A loud ringing had sounded in the kitchen, startling her. Emily sat up at once, letting out a gasp. It was only the phone. It was such a shock, though, because she rarely got calls on her home phone. It might have been an emergency. She climbed off her stool and hurried over. "Hello?" She answered, not even checking the ID.

"Hey, Emily," JJ said on the other end. "Did I wake you?"

"No," She said, startled, leaning against the wall. "I had just gotten up. What's wrong? Why are you calling me on at home?"

"Actually, I tried your cell first. I would have left a message, but... this is really important." She explained.

Concerned, "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah," She answered. "Henry's sick. Will and I woke up early this morning to his crying... looks like Chicken Pox."

"Oh, no." Emily exclaimed. "The poor thing."

"He'll be alright." She informed. "Will's taking him to the doctor today while I'm at work, but I have a problem."

Emily felt her breath caught in her chest. She knew what her friend was going to ask already. "What's that?"

JJ paused for a moment. "I'm supposed to take Reid today, as you know, but... I think it'll be too hard to have him here with a sick toddler in the house. So I was hoping you would switch shifts with me? You take him from Garcia and then I'll take him in two more weeks?"

She wanted to say no. She needed to keep her distance from Reid, having no idea how her body would betray her with him in such close quarters all the time. But Emily could not use that as an excuse. She could only imagine the domino effect that would have.

"No problem," She replied, faking a smile. "I need to get ready for him, so would you mind clearing this with Hotch?"

"No problem," JJ replied, sounding relieved. "Thank you so much, I owe you one."

"No, you don't." She corrected. "You're my friend, I'm happy to do it. And Reid's my friend, too. We get along pretty well with each other."

"We've noticed that." JJ added, but continued before Emily could question. "Remember, he has another doctor's appointment on Friday, same time. And I finally got through to Dr. Meadows, his first hypnosis session is Sunday afternoon at 1. It was the only time she had open for the next week, she must be pretty popular."

"Mmm hmm," Emily hummed as a response, biting her tongue over how many people in the world were falling for this so called alternative medicine.

"Em, I know you're against him seeing this therapist-"

"It's alright," She assured. "If it'll help find the people who hurt him... maybe it's not such a bad idea."

"Good, I'm glad you're coming around." JJ cried. "I'll tell Garcia the change of plan, she's dropping him off at the unit tonight. We'll probably go out and grab dinner after."

"That sounds great. Just tell Hotch I'll be a little late today, I should be in by noon." She said. "And I hope Henry feels better."

"Thanks," She replied, "And thank you for doing this."

"No problem, I'll see in a few hours." Emily listened to JJ's goodbye and hung up. Her apartment silent again, she turned to lean against the wall. Her arms were folded over her chest, staring at the hardwood floor of her kitchen, thinking. She had to get rid of this growing romance she was feeling for Reid... and now he was going to be in the same apartment with her every night for the next two weeks. She was afraid what this would lead to... and ashamed of where she wanted it to.

* * *

><p>The morning was busy, trying to get her apartment ready for Reid. She wanted him to have a good time here, to feel like he was at home. The first thing she needed to do was go to the grocery store. A package of Pop Tarts and half a bottle tequilia would not suffice. She stocked her cupboards and fridge with everything she knew he'd enjoy, as well as some of her own tastes. Her apartment wasn't very homey, but unlike the others, she did have a spare room. Reid would be a lot more comfortable in there, with the queen sized bed and plasma screen, neither which had ever been used. Emily never had much company stay over. This would be a new experience for her, too.<p>

Just as she had predicted, by noon she made it to the unit. It was quiet for once, with at least thirty folders sitting in her In Box. Paperwork seemed like the perfect distracting. After grabbing some coffee, she got right to work. At first, it had been successful. She had made it through three folders and almost a fourth before her mind started to wander. She kept glancing at the time, counting down the hours until five o'clock. Before long, any paperwork was the last thing on her mind.

Just before the end of the day, Rossi appeared from his office with his empty mug, needing just one more cup of coffee to get through the rest of his own files. Once again, he was walking through the bull pen and stopped at the sight of Emily. Her head was propped up on one hand, staring into space. Her other hand was flipping her pen nervously, tapping it against her desk. The worry in her eyes could not be ignored. He stepped over.

"Nervous?" He asked.

Startled for the second time that day, Emily sat up. "What? No, I'm not nervous!"

"Relax, Emily." Rossi exclaimed. "You just seem a bit disturbed. Are you okay?"

"Oh... yeah," She uttered, setting her pen aside. She sat back in her chair. "I just, um... I'm a little confused right now."

He was intrigued by that. "What's going on, you want to talk about it?"

"No," she said at once, shaking off the offer. "This is something I need to figure out for myself... at least before I bring anyone else into it."

"Well, look on the bright side." He said with a smile. "You get to spend two weeks fooling around with Reid."

She gaped at him a moment. "Excuse me?"

"Come on, I know you, Emily. I have an idea some of the things you're going to do with him." He said with a smile and a wink. "I bet you've already rented out the nearest video store of everything involving space travel and lightsabers. And I wouldn't be surprised if you max out your credit card at that coffee shop you both always met at before Wednesday."

"Oh," Emily exhaled. She couldn't believe she jumped to conclusions like that.

"What did you think I meant?" He wondered.

She shook her head, reaching for her pen again. "Nothing, I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping well. I'd better get back to work if I'm going to finish these before I go on leave."

"Yes, I still have a bit of work, too. I'll see you later." He informed, heading to the break room. Just before he stepped in, he looked back at the brunette as she sat unmoving at her desk. He couldn't help but smile. He would have to be blind and deaf not to notice her reaction.

She continued to try and keep working, but at the strike of five, Emily gave up. She sat back in her desk and just waited. Her stomach felt twisted. She could only think about the last time she saw him. Standing outside the diner last week. The rain had stopped for such a short time, like it had just been for them. She had given him a hug before he left with Garcia. Her eyes met his, knowing he had so many more things to say. Emily longed to hear them. She knew she shouldn't, but she did.

"Hey," Morgan said behind her, emerging from his office.

Emily turned, spotting him. "Hi," She uttered softly. "What's going on?"

"I hear you're taking Reid in JJ's place." He informed, leaning on her desk. "You all set?"

"Yeah, I think he'll be pretty comfortable with me." She shrugged. "We always have a good time together... and he's really starting to open up to me. Maybe the big problem is he just needs to calm down. Sometimes stress is the big cause for delayed recovery and... if he's relaxed, it might do him some good."

"I hope you're right." Morgan replied, shaking his head. "When they said it would take time for his memory to come back... I honestly didn't think it would be this long. I thought maybe he'd have some kind of recognition before he left my place. Maybe not so much back to work by now, but I figured he'd be a lot further along than he is."

"Well..." Emily said, standing up, going to lean next to him. "Maybe Rossi's right, and his subconcious is just too afraid to experience the pain of the torture again. Hypnosis might be the way to go... though I still feel like we're just using him."

"We're not using him, Prentiss. We're trying to bring him justice." He corrected.

"It doesn't feel like justice." Emily muttered. She felt so guilty, not only for lying but being the one who insisted on it. But he didn't need to know they were still looking for his kidnapper, it would just make him more frightened.

Just as two weeks before, Emily stood and spotted Garcia leading Reid into the BAU. Amazingly, Reid had a bit of a smile on his face, seeming just a little bit more collected than usual. Emily was so happy for him... maybe they were starting to make progress.

He caught her eyes almost instantly, and Emily felt her stomach do a somersault. She never realized until that moment... but he was a very handsome man. She noticed his eyes two weeks ago, and last week she had seen almost all of his naked body... but she realized now, he was very becoming. Reid's looks made him classically handsome. The kind of handsome a person couldn't create, but just be. Someone could only be born that way and it wasn't common. Anyone could be good looking, anyone could be hot or sexy if they worked at it... but natural beauty couldn't be bought or come out of a bottle. And Reid was as beautiful outside as he was in.

"Em," Morgan nudged her a few times to get her attention. "Did you hear me? I said they're here."

"Oh," She said, pretending to be surprised. "I hadn't even noticed."

Garcia and Reid walked over to join him. "There's my boy!" She exclaimed, hurrying over to give Morgan a hug. "I have been on Hottie Withdrawl for two weeks, I am so happy to get my daily fix back."

"Sorry I was such poor company." Reid shrugged. He made it sound like a joke, but Emily couldn't help but think he was serious.

"Oh," Garcia exclaimed. She rushed forward to put her arms around him. "Reid, I loved having you around, you were wonderful. I'm really going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too." He assured as he pulled out of her arms. He met Emily's eyes again, giving a much warmer smile. "Looks like I'm all yours now."

She felt her cheeks blush at that comment. Emily was for once at a loss for a comment. All she could manage was a shaky, "Looks like it."

"So, are we ready to go?" Garcia wondered. "Where are we having dinner?"

"We haven't decided, and I'm not sure everyone's ready." Morgan admitted, looking up at Hotch's office. Both he and Rossi were still at work. And JJ was nowhere to be found. "We could always tell them to meet us if they're not close to being done."

"Why don't you do that. I'll find my girl and get an ETD. You two wait here." Garcia informed. She gave Reid a warm pat on the arm, then went off towards the direction of JJ's office. Emily and Reid were alone.

Emily could hear her pulse rapidly beating in her ears. She knew he was looking at her, waiting to meet his gaze again. She couldn't look at him. Emily was losing her composure and was quickly losing her inhibitions along with it. If she looked at him... there was no controling what she would do. And for all the unit to see.

"Would you excuse me, Reid? I need to run to the restroom, I'll be right back." She was almost out of earshot as she finished, hurrying down the hall. She was feeling more and more like a teenager every minute around him. Down to hiding in the girls room when she was beginning to feel overwhelmed.

It took a long time to calm her heart down. She splashed cool water on her face and buried it in a paper towel, just trying to breathe steadily. Everything about him was infecting her... how he looked at her, how he moved around her, the smell of him... how was she supposed to get through even a few minutes without giving into her desires, let alone fourteen days.

Finally, fifteen minutes later, calm and refreshed, Emily stepped out into the hall. She shrieked slightly, taken by surprise to find Reid was waiting for her. He leaned across from the door, determined to stand here until she came out.

"Reid," She said softly, putting on a fake smile. "What are you doing here? Are the others ready?"

"Are you mad at me?" He asked, standing up. He looked so worried.

Her edginess was most definitely evident, and he took it as a negative signal. This was such strange territory, Emily wasn't sure how to act. "No, of course not." She assured. "And if I were, it would be really hard to avoid you, Reid. We're about to spend two weeks together."

"Spencer," He corrected sternly. "I thought you said you'd call me Spencer."

She had been so distracted, she had almost forgotten. "Spencer... I'm sorry. I'm just... a little dazed and confused right now."

"I think I'm the definition of daze and confused at the moment." He grinned. Emily matched his smile with a small giggle. Releasing that calmed her much better than any splash of water did. She had only just realized they both were stepping closer to each other, each inch of space slowly being removed. "What's going on? You let me confide in you when I needed it... you can talk to me."

"I'm not so sure I can." She replied with saddness. She wanted to run. She wanted to put as much distance between them as possible. Yet she wasn't pulling away. In fact, she was moving closer.

"Really?" Reid asked. "Because... let me tell you something. I have not stopped thinking about you since last week. I can't stop thinking about that kiss."

"Shh!" She hissed, checking done the hall. "There's enough gossip in this place already. Especially about you."

"Emily..." He was getting much too close now. Right in her personal space, but to her surprise, she liked it. She inhaled his smell deeply, one thing about him that hadn't changed. "I wanted to call you... I wanted to talk about it. I just... I couldn't find the privacy... or... the courage..."

"I know," She nodded. "I wanted to talk about it, too... I can't stop thinking about it, either."

"Really?" He asked, grinning.

"Really." She answered softly. She reached up to brush his cheek. "I think it's why I'm so confused. I have so many questions. For instance... you know why I kissed you. But why did you kiss me?"

"I don't know why, I just knew I had to. I didn't know how to kiss, I didn't know what to do with my hands or my lips I just... reacted. You were there and... I finally worked up the nerve and just... followed my instincts."

"I'm glad... you've always had very good instincts. You should listen to them." Emily said, her thumb still on his cheek.

They were losing themselves in their own world again. Reid leaned down, making her hand move from his cheek slide up into his hair. He met her lips again. She sighed softly, at last feeling that beautiful sensation from the connection with him. In a moment, his arms went around her waist bringing her right against his strong body. Her other arm went around his shoulder, clinging to him like she would be blown away from the power of this kiss. It made every inch of her form alive with longing and desire. All Emily could think of was how she wanted was more.

The others had been wonder where they were all this time. Down the hall, someone was coming to look for them. His footsteps were quiet as he went around the corner, not disturbing the two lovers at all. Morgan stopped in his tracks and stared in shock at the spectacle, at first beliving he was imagining it.

Before their kiss broke, Morgan slipped out of sight. He didn't want them to know he spotted them. Concealed by the wall, he waited and listened for what would happened next.

At last the kiss broke and Emily's other hand went on his cheek. She was still held in his embrace and never wanted to be released. "I told you you have good instincts."

"Emily..." He whispered. "I know you're confused right now... and I have to admit, despite everything, I am too. I am filled with so many different desires and thoughts... and I don't know what they mean."

"Okay... well, we're not going to figure it out right here." Her hand stroked along his hair. His hair was so much softer than she ever believed. "I'll tell the team you're not interested in going out tonight. We'll take a drive and talk about this, just you and me."

He was happy with that. Reid gave her another kiss, a smaller one this time and a bit more chaste, but just as sweet. He stood back up, meeting her beautiful brown eyes. "I do know I like kissing you."

Emily's cheeks turned pink as she grinned. "Come on," She pulled away, tugging on his arm. "We'll say goodbye and get your bags. And then we'll be on our way."

Reid followed her lead. Their hands naturally found each other as they walked as slow as possible. They never wanted to let this moment go. No one met them as they headed back to the unit, dropping their hands just before the glass doors. And it seemed no one was the wiser.

* * *

><p>AN: Yay! I am so happy Emily came back! It was even better than I imagined. Poor Morgan, I just wanted to cry when I saw that look on his face. (I hope he and Emily have a nice heart to heart, soon. They need that.)

Special thanks to susannah2000 for giving me the idea to use Chicken Pox instead of the flu.


	16. Ready

They drove for a long time; three hours. At first, it had been rather awkward. It seemed harder to talk about their feelings when they both knew how the other felt. Unlike before, when each believed the other wasn't interested. At one point, neither was sure when, their hands had found each other again. Their fingers entwined so perfectly. It connected them in a way words never could. The tension slowly lifted away.

Through the evening, they drove out of the city until they were in a quieter part of Virginia. A more rural area, with nothing but the changing autumn leaves and wide open rode before them. The sun was setting on the horizon and soon conversation came to them. It was a lighthearted talk, first talking about how beautiful the fall was and the way the chill was moving into the air. Reid was very interested in Emily, asking all kinds of questions about her interests and life. She kept her past's details very vague, making her life sound much more pleasant than it was. He also asked questions about his own, curious as to the path that lead him to this point. And Emily answered as best she could.

Clouds had moved in during sunset. As the sky became dark, it began to rain and slickened the roads. The weather was getting a bit worse and Emily thought it best to park until the rain died down a bit. She found a rest stop along the highway, overlooking a cliff. There were few gravel spots to park in. Stopping the car, they looked at the small town laid out in the valley. So many tiny light's in the middle of a storm.

Inside the car was silent. The engine off, it was starting to get cold in here. The two stared straight ahead, watching the drops fall on the windshield and listening to their random patter. Emily heard Reid's teeth chatter a beside her.

"It's chilly," He mumbled, hugging himself a bit.

At last, Emily looked to him. He was shivering a bit. She was getting cold, too, she suddenly noticed. The most logical choice would be to turn the car back on and start the heater. But she had a better idea, a more intimate idea. Lifting up the seat divider, she slid closer to him, her leg right against his.

"We'd better keep each other warm, then." She informed, her brown eyes sparkling.

Before, Reid might have shied away from a girl's advances, but not tonight. He was nervous, that was blantantly certain, but without previous rejection haunting him, he gave her a smile and gently put his arm around her. Emily moved into his touch, her arm going around his middle. Strangely, being in his arms felt like it always had. After developing these feelings, she suspected being held by him would be different, perhaps even awkward at first... but it was just as warm and soothing as it had always been.

"That's much better." Reid said as his other arm brought her closer to him. "I'm feeling much warmer now."

"Me, too." She muttered, resting her head on his shoulder.

Silence returned, but it was much more relaxed. For a long time, they just held each other, listening to the rain and each other's breathing. They knew they had to define this, but for just awhile, they let themselves be happy. Happy and warm and together.

"This feels good," Emily said after awhile. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling that intoxicating scent of his. He completely surrounded her like a warm blanket and she had never felt so safe.

Just as he always did, Reid took a whiff of her hair. "You smell so good." He mumbled against the top of her head. "It's fresh and... sweet. I like your perfume."

"Thank you." She replied. "It's the smell of fresh rain, with lotion and body wash. And some baby powder to keep my skin soft."

"Well..." He smiled, meeting her eyes again. "You're doing a good job... your skin is awfully soft."

Emily giggled. Being this close, they couldn't resist meeting in a light, sensual kiss. Reid's hand gently moved down from her waist to settle on her leg. Emily hissed against his lips as it rested on her thigh, starting to wish she didn't have all these layers of clothes between them.

But they were not two teenagers making out in a car. Emily gently broke the kiss before they let themselves lose control. "We need to figure this out." She informed. "As much as I like kissing you, we can't keep doing it until we know what this is."

She separated them once again, as many inches of distance between us. Reid was disappointed to lose her warmth, but he didn't object. Figuring this out was important and once they did... it could lead to something magical.

"When did you first know you had feelings for me?" Emily asked.

"The minute I first looked at you." He said without a second thought. "You were so beautiful, like some kind of... goddess. And every second I've spent with you since... I've just wanted you more. Even just sitting here, talking with you... it's a dream come true. What about you?"

Emily didn't like being vulnerable. She didn't like to show her emotions and even worse, talking about them. But, meeting his eyes again, she felt so safe with this man. He made her feel strong, and nothing she said would be ridiculed.

"When you first kissed me, I got confused." She explained. "And even more so, when I knew that incredible feeling from kissing you wasn't a fluke. I mean, I've never looked at you like this before. I care about you, I trust you... but now I'm not seeing you as a friend or a teammate... but..."

"But what?" Reid pressed, captivated.

"A man." She explained, a very different glint appearing in her eyes. "I feel a lot of very primitive, primal impulses for you now. I want you... there have been very few men in my life that I've wanted this much."

Her breathing had become a bit labored as she said this. She had an almost a frightening appearance about her, like some lioness about to pounce on her chosen prey. Reid was more than willing to be her victim.

"Is that all it is?" He wondered. "Just... a physical attraction. Because I want more than that."

Emily shook her head. "I wish it were. Physical needs come and go. I'm not some stupid girl who doesn't know the meaning of 'no' anymore, I can control myself. This is a lot more than that. I like being with you. Just being close to you. When we were dancing at the bar... I felt so safe in your arms. It was like nothing else was going on in the world, it was just us." Her smile turned gentle and sweet. "Feeling like that in a man's arms is hard to come by... especially for me."

"I felt it, too. My life only goes back about five weeks, but from what I can recall... it was the most amazing moment of my life until I kissed you." He looked away, a hand running nervously through his wavy hair. "Emily, I've been trying to figure out why I feel this way. I mean you know you've never had this problem before, but I don't." He looked up, catching her eyes again. "I felt such a connection when I first saw you and I can't understand why. I don't know if these are old feelings or if these are new feelings. All I know is I want to be with you. Beside you, near you... I want to know everything about you, I want to hold you while you sleep... I don't know what it will lead to, because my life is such a mess right now... but I'm very willing to take the chance and find out."

And that's when Emily shrunk back some. Her attention went out the windshield again. She knew how he felt and that meant the decision was on her. She debated it for a long time and Reid never pressed her for an answer.

Eventually, after a great deal of time, she turned to him again. Emily may regret this, but it was the chance she had to take. "Spencer... I have a lot to say. It's going to be hard for me to get out, so I'm asking you... do not interrupt me until I'm finished. Okay?"

"Of course," Reid answered, holding his breath.

Emily looked away again. She took several deep breaths to calm herself and turned to face him again. "I don't think forming a relationship now is a good idea." She saw him tense up and hang his head. "Let me finish," she assured. "It's not a good idea for couple of reasons. One, you're still sick. You don't know who you are and what you really want out of life. You said it yourself, you don't know where you got these feelings. You don't know what you want."

"Yes, I do!" He exclaimed. "I want you."

"I asked you not to interrupt!" She yelled. "Now just listen to me."

"I'm sorry," He admitted, not sure if he wanted to hear anymore. "Please, continue."

"Another reason why this wouldn't be wise... I'm horrible at relationships. I can be a very difficult person to be with. I don't easily trust people and I tend to run away when I feel vulnerable. My ideal relationship is a long weekend far away where I never have to see the man again. I don't easily open up to someone... it took us a long time just to become friends, even things were okay between us. I don't think you'd be happy with me, and it's naive and stupid to believe so."

Reid nodded, unable to even look at her anymore. All he wanted was for her to start the car and drive home... then became even more despondent when he realized he had to stay with her for two weeks. Wanting her so much and being so close to her when he could never have her? He'd take the physical pain and torture over that.

"But," She finally uttered.

He quickly whipped around, meeting her eyes. "There's a 'but'?" He asked, hopefully.

"Yes," She said, giving a smile. "I'm not so sure I can be around you... and be able to put these feelings aside. Even if you were to be with another team member for the rest of your recovery... I want you too much to let you go. Not when I know you feel the same way."

He couldn't have spoken even if he wanted to. At last, Emily began to move close to him again, the distance between them slowly starting to disappear.

"I've never been one to do what I'm supposed to." She explained, "I was a rebel as a teen just to piss off my mother, and it worked like a charm. I've broken a lot of rules in my career to get results and I brought down a lot of criminals because of it. Yes, I've gotten in trouble, but I'd do it again to put those people behind bars... Why should I suddenly do what I know is right when following my gut has always served me well before?"

Reid squeaked a bit as he spoke. "You... want to be with me?"

"Yes," She grinned. A trembling hand reached over to take his, giving it a squeeze. "But... I know this is new for you... and it's a strange path for me, too. So... let's take this slow. We'll take our time and get comfortable with each other before we take any big steps. Is that alright with you?"

Reid couldn't have been more happy with that decision. "That is perfect. It's exactly what I want."

"Good," She said, her elegant body leaning over to meet his lips again. It quickly turned passionate as her hands slid up his arm into his hair. For the first time, her tongue found passage into his mouth and felt him moan from the surprise. It was amazing how freeing it was, having gotten all those unanswered questions out of the way.

"Whoa," Reid said, breaking away from her kiss, slightly exasperated. "I thought we were going to take this slow."

"You're right," She gave a devilish grin. "Let's take this slow."

Emily bit her lip in a seductive way, and Reid couldn't help but think how badly he wanted to bite that lip himself. This time, as she kissed him again, they moved at a much more idle pace. It had such a gentle, charasmatic feel. She took her time, not forcing herself on him as she usual did with a man. Her tongue pressed gently on his lips, asking permission before she moved forward. Reid allowed her to claim his mouth and followed her lead with his own tongue. Emily sighed at the feel, wrapping her arms around his waist again. Reid's hand went to cradle the back of her head, completely lost in this perfect angel who brought him the most amazing pleasure just from a kiss.

At last, they separated and Reid found he couldn't open his eyes for a moment. He was dizzy from the power of her lips and needed a moment to found solid ground again. At last, they opened to find her dazzling brown eyes glossy and soft, in complete bliss from their encounter.

"Is that slow enough for you?" She asked, raising her eyebrow as she smiled.

"Yeah... I'm okay with this pace for awhile." He agreed, and leaned into her again. His eyes slipping closed as they kissed once again, both hoping the rain would keep on for a very long time.

* * *

><p>By ten, they made it back into the city. Hungry, they decided on a late supper. Emily took them to a 24 hour diner just a block away from her apartment. It was mostly empty, with two other patrons eating at two different booths. Reid and Emily claimed seats at the counter and grabbed menus.<p>

"Something to drink?" An older waitress in a pink uniform asked, holding a pad and paper.

"Two Diet Cokes," Emily said. She stepped off to fill their order as Emily met Reid's eyes. "I hope you don't mind me ordering for you."

"Not at all." He smiled. "I trust you."

"Do you really trust me?" She asked, cocking her head a bit at him.

"Yes," He asked, suspicious. "Why do you ask?"

Emily didn't answer, just smirked and set the menu away. The waitress returned with their sodas, pulling her pad out again. "We'll both have the Belgium waffle with all the toppings and extra chocolate sauce. And please don't skimp on the whipped cream."

"Coming up," She said, scribbling the order on a sheet. She ripped it off and hung it on the turn style, heading off to continue her work.

Emily grinned at him. "You'll love it."

"Waffles for dinner?" He asked. "Is that something I typically do?"

"No, it's something _I_typically do." Emily corrected. "This diner is very convenient, I usually eat here in the morning before work. And when we come home from a case late, I stop in and I order something that's filled with butter and sugar and a lot of chocolate, just to feel good again. It may not sound healthy, but it's a lot better than killing my brain cells with alcohol. Besides, breakfast food is so much better for dinner."

"I have a feeling you're going to show me a lot of interesting things." He smiled. "I look forward to each and every one of them."

Reid reached to take her hand as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. It was such an innocent gesture, indicating his only concern right now was to be with her. He wasn't concerned with putting his hands on her or figuring out the right move to get her to take off her clothes. Reid enjoyed her company. He liked spending time with her, he liked getting to know her... and that was another thing that hadn't changed. Reid had always been this way. He had always treated her with kindness and respect. Once they had gotten through their rocky start, he had been the best friend she could ever ask for. Emily finally saw what a great guy she had in front of her, and began to feel guilty she didn't notice him when he was healthy.

It wasn't long before they were the only customers left in the place. They talked and laughed pleasantly as they enjoyed their meal. Reid was indeed very pleased with her choice, enjoying his waffles immensely. Two plates and several refills of soda later led them to over two hours of lost time. But, they were just so lost in each other, they didn't care.

"So I come into the unit and out of nowhere this... little can hits me in the head." She was saying, mid story. Her finger indicated the spot where she was hit. "I was surprised, I had no idea what was going on and you were so apologetic. You explained it was physics magic and I begged you to show me."

"How did I do that?" Reid wondered.

"I wish I could tell you, but you made the three of us turn around." Emily replied. "A magician never reveals his secrets, as you always say. Anyway, you set up the trick again and the film exploded even farther than before, only this time... it landed right in front of Hotch." She giggled, "Us girls took off before we could get in trouble with you."

"Did I get into a lot of trouble?" He cringed as he laughed.

"No, everybody's use to your magic tricks by now." She smiled. "You're a very talented magician."

"Excuse me," The waitress said as she came over. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No thanks," Emily said.

She set the bill on the counter, "Whenever you're ready." She informed, stepping away for a minute to grab some plates left in one of the booths.

Emily grabbed her purse as Reid stood up. "Do you mind if I run to restroom? My fingers are a little sticky, I want to wash off the syrup."

"No, go right ahead." Emily informed, pulling her wallet out. "I'll wait right here."

Reid leaned down to place another kiss on Emily's cheek. It still amazed her how the gesture was still making her blush. Perhaps it was from being so unaccustomed to all this tender affection.

The waitress walked over, taking the money and check from countertop. She had a small smile on her face as she asked. "How long have you two been together?"

"Uh," Emily grabbed her cell to check the time. "About... eight hours, approximately."

"Oh," She smiled even wider. "First date, how exciting. Well, I'd say it's pretty successful."

"You do?" Emily asked as she stepped over to the register. This woman didn't even know them. Emily had seen her once or twice a month over the years, but had never actually spoken to her. And no one from the team had ever been in here with her.

She hit a few buttons on the register as she glanced over. "Yeah, you two have a nice connection. I'm an old fashioned, gal, you know. I don't typically approve of women robbing the cradle. None of my business, yes, but it's how I feel."

"He's only ten years younger than me." Emily said, somewhat offended. "It's not a big difference."

"It's that double standard, I guess. But it doesn't matter. Even I can tell this isn't some stupid fling. You guys are cute together. And he seems to really care about you. Such a gentleman; I saw him open the door for you when you came in. Men like that are hard to find nowadays, I'd hang onto him if I were you."

That was sound advice. The waitress gave her a wink and set her change down, walking away and disappearing into the kitchen. Within a few seconds, Reid came out of the restroom, smiling as he walked over.

"Ready?" He asked, grabbing his coat.

Emily opened her wallet again and pulled out a twenty. That woman deserved a nice tip after that. She set the bill with the rest of the change and got to her feet. "I am now." She said, pulling on her coat.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Reid and Emily arrived at her apartment. She gave him a little tour, through the living room and kitchen and the downstairs, which got the least bit of attention. Emily carried his bag up the stairs and Reid followed.<p>

"Bathroom's right here," She said, opening the door to show him. "I have one in my room, so you'll have this one to yourself. This," She opened another door and flipped on the light, "is my office. And it's never been used, actually. That's my room there, and here..." she opened the last of the four doors, "is your room."

Reid stepped in, taking a look around. It was a simple, but looked very comfortable. He hadn't slept in a real bed since he left the hospital. His friend's couches had been barely big enough for him and his long legs to stretch out on, hopefully he'd get a better night's rest here."

"There's a dresser for your clothes and the TV, there's a Blu-Ray player and some movies in that cabinet. I'm not sure if there's anything in there you'll like, but it's at least something to watch if you can't sleep."

"Well, I won't know that until I watch them." He shrugged and smiled.

Emily giggled lightly. She set his bag beside the bed and reached up, brushing his hair off his face. "If you need anything, my room is at the end of the hall. Don't hesitate, I'm here for you... just knock first."

"Thank you," He lightly brushed her hip with his hand. He did want to take it slow... but he couldn't help his active mind from wonder. What the skin beneath these pants felt like, how it would feel to have this warmth beneath him... what it would be like if she stayed with him tonight. All night.

"You sleep tight." Emily reached up to give him a soft kiss. Reid let out a light, gentle moan as he kissed her with the same affection. His other hand fell on her hip, fighting an internal battle between holding her back and bringing her against him.

Their kiss ended and they locked eyes again. "See you in the morning. I'll make breakfast."

"See you then." He smiled.

At last, she slowly pulled away and Reid reluctantly let her go. Emily went into the hall and headed to her room. Reid followed and stood in his doorway, watching her as she walked inside. As she was shutting the door, she looked to him again.

"Goodnight," She whispered.

"Goodnight." Reid replied. He waited until her door closed, the soft click of the knob sounding in the quiet home. He let out a slow breath, feeling his heart beating so hard. He too went inside his room and closed the door. Sad to be apart, but by no means disappointed. Emily and Reid spent the night in separate beds, but didn't sleep a wink. Each lying among the sheets and pillows, unable to think about anything but the other, hoping at any moment, there would be a knock on the bedroom door.


	17. All Night

They had spent a very slow, blissful Saturday together. As true to their plan, Reid and Emily took things slowly. Very slowly. It took so much pressure off her. Emily didn't have to impress him, she didn't have to be flirtatous and seductive, just be herself. And that was so much easier... and even better, to know he liked her like that. And nothing more was shared between them but gentle kisses and a lot of hand holding. Who knew being so restrained could be so exciting?

Just like the night before, Emily and Reid slept in their own respective rooms. She had remembered one night when she was seventeen, when the Brazilian ambassador was staying at her mother's mansion with his family, including his nineteen year old son. She couldn't resist sneaking into his room in the middle of the night, and he hadn't objected in the least. Emily had thought about doing that now, but decided against it. With Reid it was different. She wasn't just thinking about her own pleasure; that meant she respected him. He was special and so Emily didn't mind waiting.

Sunday morning was much chillier than yesterday, with more rain coming down. Emily was busy in the kitchen when Reid came down an hour after her, following the smell of coffee and bacon.

"Hey," Emily cried, turning to look when she sensed his prescence. "Sleep well?"

"Well... I got a little sleep." He admitted, claiming a seat at the counter. "What about you?"

"The same," She admitted, grabbing a mug from her cupboard. She poured him a cup of coffee and set it in front of him. "I'm making my special scrambled eggs, I think you'll like them."

"I've liked everything so far." He smiled. "Or maybe that's just because I'm with you."

Blushing for possibly the one hundreth time that weekend, Emily reached over the counter to give him a soft kiss. His hand reached up, running along her cheek and pushing her fallen hair aside. She should be afriad. She had to know this wasn't going to last, it was just too perfect. But right now, she didn't care. The entire world could come crashing down on her in the next sixty seconds, all that mattered was right now, in this minute, she was happy.

Emily went back to her cooking, and Reid watched every graceful move around the kitchen. It was hard to get a real sense of her figure through her flowing robe, but the way it fluttered around her made her seem like she was flying. He liked that they were taking it slow. When and if they did get a bit more physical, he was going to be unspeakably nervous and that could ruin the entire experience. But still, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Thinking about her kept the nightmares away... dreaming of touching every inch of her body, to run his lips along those long limbs and slender torso. Up one curve and down the other... she was so beautiful, it was hard to believe she was even real. Reid wouldn't be surprised if this was some coma dream and Emily Prentiss was just the perfect woman he created in his mind.

Breakfast was soon ready and the two sat down to eat, talking pleasantly. Emily liked watching him. She hadn't cooked for a man in a long time. She liked knowing he was enjoying the meal she made just for him, and the joy she felt when he asked for seconds... and then thirds. Emily had always been impressed how someone so skinny and frail looking could put away so much food.

"So," Emily announced as she set his third helping of eggs in front of him. "Dr. Meadow's office is a bit of a drive, so we should leave by noon."

Reid's chewing slowed down. At first, she thought maybe he had forgotten, but the tension in his body told otherwise. "Do we have to go?"

Emily wanted to say no. If he didn't want to go, he shouldn't have to. It was bad enough his life was turned upside down, possibly irreversibly so. Making him endure this could do more harm than good. But, she knew she couldn't let the team down. What other option did they have to find this killer? And killing teams were always more difficult to stop until they were separated. A lot of people could suffer because of them.

Emily stood from her stool, she'd been sitting perpendicular to him and moved to seat right beside his. She reached and took his free hand. "I know this is scary. We don't know what's going to happen or what you'll learn from being hypnotized... but if it can help bring back your memory, it's important."

"What if I don't want my memory back?" Reid asked, staring at his plate. He had long since stopped eating, his enormous appetite suddenly quenched.

Emily was curious. "Spencer... why wouldn't you want your memory back? Don't you miss your life?"

"No," Reid said, finally looking over to meet her eyes. "My friends... they seem like very nice people. And I look forward to getting to know them. I hope I will grow to care about them just as much as I did before... but I'm not so sure I want to go back."

"Why not?" Emily asked. She had never considered he'd want anything else.

"Why?" He questioned in response. "I've learned a little about who I used to be. This brilliant man surrounded by facts and books and spending most of my time catching criminals. That sounds pretty dignified on the outside, but... it feels so lonely. I didn't have anyone to come home to, I didn't have anyone to miss me, to worry about me, to love me... and that's the life everyone wants me to go back to? And then there's you... what if what I thought was correct? And my old self doesn't feel about you like this... I don't want to lose you."

Emily hadn't thought about that. It may only have been two days... but she was not ready to let him go. Right now, she didn't dream she'd ever be.

"Spencer, I don't want to lose you, either." She avowed, gripping his hand with almost painful support. "This is so unlike anything I've done before and... while I'm afraid it won't work out, I'm so excited to see how this goes. But... I can't be selfish. There are a lot of people who care about, including your mother, who want you to come back. We can't let them all down."

With a twitch of his mouth, Reid knew she was right. "Thanks for the 'we'. And you're right... we can't be selfish."

"The needs of the many outweight the needs of the few... or the one." She quoted.

He considered that perfectly worded phrase for a moment, slowly giving a nod. "You're absolutely right. That's profound advice, did you come up with that?"

She couldn't help but snort with laughter. "No, I did not. After your session, we're going to pick up dinner, change into our pajamas and watch a little movie called The Wrath of Khan. That's something for you to look foreward to."

"I'd like that." He reached over, placing a kiss on her cheek. "You're really an amazing woman, you know that?"

Emily smiled, that gorgeous smile that hypnotized him better than any therapist could. She hopped off her stool, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "Finish your breakfast and hop in the shower. I'm going to clean up this mess before I get ready."

Reid did as he was told, cleaning off his plate. He chewed slowly, prolonging his time to keep watching her and every radiant move.

* * *

><p>"Have a seat," The cheery receptionist ordered, indicating the armchairs in the waiting room. "Dr. Meadows will be finished with her meditation shortly."<p>

Emily had to refrain from rolling her eyes at the term 'meditation'. She never got what was so appealing about sitting Indian style and contemplating her life in silence for hours on end. She had tried it once, all it did was make her feet fall asleep.

She and Reid sat down, each observing the room. It did have a serene quality about it. It wasn't brightly lit, with a few vanilla candles, giving the room a pleasant smell. There were a few relaxing paintings on the walls, of Monet and Seurat. Despite the attempts, Reid wasn't getting the calming effect. Leaning on his hand, his knee bobbing up and down at a frivolous pace. Emily reached over and placed a hand on his thigh, bringing his wandering eyes to him.

"Relax," she whispered. It wasn't right for her to ridicule this, even in her head. Emily should be positive so he wouldn't think this was just a waste of time. "It's only an hour."

"I don't want to do this." He shook his head, his hazel eyes wide with fear.

"It's going to be okay." She slid up his thigh and found his other hand. Emily clutched it and gave him an encouraging smile. "You're not in this alone. I'm here... I just want you to get better. I hate seeing you in pain."

"I'm starting to get a headache." He moaned, pouting a bit. "I'm sick, I want to go home."

He so cute, Emily couldn't help but giggle. She suddenly wanted to slide into that comfy armchair with him and put her arms around him. Emily would never be with like that with a man, being so intimate without any ulterior motive. But they were in public, and instead, she ran a hand over his cheek. "You're going to be just fine. Spencer, you've done so many things that so many people in this world would never be capable of. I mean... there are literally so many stories, I don't even know where to start."

Reid wanted to hear them, but didn't even have a chance to ask. The door to the waiting room opened and a middle aged woman stepped in.

She was someone straight out of the sixties. Her hair was long, reaching down to her ankles. Emily couldn't even comprehend how much shampoo that woman had ot use a day. She wore a long skirt, also to her ankles, in a tie-dyed purple. It matched the dark purple peasant blouse she wore and adorned herself in beaded jewelry.

"Spencer?" She asked, spotting the only two people seated. She gave a warm, welcoming smile. It was so charismatic, Emily almost let her guard down about this.

Reid stood up, followed by Emily. He offered a tentative hand. "Hi," he said. "You must Dr. Meadows?"

"Yes, and please call me Willow." She informed, giving a shake. Turning, her eyes landed on Emily. "And you are?"

"Emily Prentiss." She replied. "I'm Spencer's..." she didn't exactly know how to introduce herself. Two days seemed a little soon to say 'girlfriend'. "I'm taking care of Spencer, we've been very close for the last five years."

"I see, well, he certainly has a good friend." She said with a smile. "I can tell just by looking at you of the modern age. You don't trust this type of medicine, and you have every right not to. But you're a good friend for letting him come here. I promise you, I will do all I can to help him. We'll only be an hour, if you wish to come back. But you are welcome to wait here."

"Actually, I want to be in during the session." Announced Emily, trying to stand her ground. This woman seemed nice enough, and confident at what she did, but Emily would not be manipulated. Not when she made a promise to her friend... boyfriend... whatever.

Dr. Meadows was not pleased by that. "That's highly unorthodox, Emily."

She wanted to demand to be called Agent Prentiss, but knew that would come off too coldly. "This is a highly unorthodox circumstance. How many patients have you had that are suffering from Retrograde Amnesia?"

"Well, none." Meadows stated. "But it's important to create the right environment for the patient."

"And there is nothing more important to me than this man here. Spencer wants me in there... so I need to be. And if you say no, we're going to turn around leave right now."

Reid looked to with such love and gratitude at hearing her stand up for him. Emily had never felt so exposed from a man's stare, but she loved it. She longed for him to stare at her like that for hours. None of this went unnoticed by Dr. Meadows, either.

"Very well, I do try to indulge patient requests. As long as Spencer doesn't object, of course. Shall we?" She said, indicating the room she'd just come from.

"Let's go," Reid said, taking Emily's hand. He was shaking, but he could face this. Because as long as she was here, he could do anything.

Just like at the clinic, Meadows lead them out of the waiting room down a long hallway. It had the atmosphere of a relaxing spa, only they wouldn't be getting mud bathes and a couple's massage today. At last, at Room 8, Meadows opened the door and stepped aside. "After you."

Reid went in first, pulling Emily by her hand. It was an elegant room, like a meditation space. There were at least a dozen candles lit in here, this time giving off the scent of lemongrass and sage. The main lights were just as bright here, but as Meadows closed the door, she turned them down to an soft glow.

"Please remove your shoes, Spencer." She requested. It was then Emily noticed Dr. Meadows was barefoot. A long scar went up from the middle of her foot to above her ankle. Emily hated to think what she endured to sport that scar for the rest of her life.

Reid did as told. Setting his sneakers aside, he stood in his stocking feet, navy blue this time. Ordinary and identical. "Please, lie down on the futon. Emily, you may take a seat over here." She indicated a cushioned stool over on the side of room, pushed out of the way until it was needed. Emily went to fetch it, bringing it a bit closer.

Reid got comfortable on the futon as Meadows sat crossed legged on the floor, her legs wrapping under her like they were made of rubber. The last time Emily could remember being that flexible, she was five.

"I should warn you," Meadows said, meeting Emily's eyes. "This is highly unprecedented, having a third party in here. Hypnosis can be a very emotional and taxing experience. It can't be removed from lightly, it must be done specifically and slowly. You cannot try to disturb him while he's in his trance. It will confuse and could harm him. You must remain silent until I order him awake. Understood."

"This isn't going to hurt him, is it?" Emily asked, meeting Reid's worried gaze.

"We won't know until we try. This could do a lot of good for Spencer... but then again, it may do nothing. And... it may cause more damage."

At those words, Emily was a nanosecond away from standing up, grabbing Reid and his shoes and taking him away from this place forever. But instead, she nodded. Meadows smiled and turned back to Reid.

"Alright, Spencer," She said soothingly. "I'm going to ask you to lie back with your arms at your side and close your eyes. Once your comfortable, take in a long slow breath through your nose..." She demonstrated the technique, then exhaled. "And then out through your mouth."

Reid was still focused on Emily. He did not want to do this. He wanted to stand up and hurry out of here, dragging Emily with him. Tentatively, Emily gave a nod, and it installed him with confidence. At that, he situated himself back on the pillows, his arms at his side. Closing his eyes, he breathed slowly, in and out... in and out...

* * *

><p><em>Reid was standing in a place he couldn't recognize. In fact, he knew he'd never been here before... not before today. But could he know that? He had no memory.<em>

_"_Where are you, Spencer_?" Dr. Meadows' voice sounded, like a ghost was whispering in his ear._

_"I'm in a hallway." He informed. "It's a... hotel. The carpet has a bluish green design... the walls are a grayish color... and the doors are white."_

_"_What are you wearing_?" She asked. "_Have your clothes changed_?"_

_Reid looked down over his body and stepped back in surprise. "Yes... I'm wearing... a white dress shirt with a black vest... corduroy pants... and my sneakers." He suddenly realized there was a weight on one shoulder. "And I have a... a brown bag. A shoulder bag."_

_"_Good_." Meadows said. "_Where are you going?_"_

_That, he didn't know... but started walking. He couldn't say where he was headed, but his body knew how to get there. Looking further down the hall, he saw he wasn't alone._

_"I see some people." Reid informed. "They're about to turn the corner... I think I'm following them."_

_"_Do you recognize them_?" Meadows wondered._

_It took a moment to register, but he did indeed know who there were. "They're two people from team... Agents Rossi and... Morgan. I think we're... going to bed. I feel like I'm getting ready to go to my room."_

_Reid kept walking, following Rossi and Morgan around the corner. Neither of the men took notice of him and Reid didn't wish to engage conversation. Another person stood in the hall now, standing at one of the many doors._

_"Emily..." He muttered._

_"_You see Emily?_" Meadows needed clarified._

_"Yes," He stopped for a moment, staring at her as she worked on the door. Emily didn't look at him, like he couldn't be seen by the people in this reality. Rossi and Morgan went to their rooms. As much as Reid wanted to speak to her, he knew was supposed to go to his room._

_"Should I talk to her?" Reid wondered._

_"_No_," Meadows ordered. "_Just do what your instincts tell you. Where are you supposed to go?_"_

_"Bed," He replied. "I'm supposed to go to bed... I have something important to do tomorrow."_

_Reid continued on his way, unable to stop himself from observing her. He wondered if it was his subconcious that had made her so beautiful, the way she held her body... it was intoxicating. As he passed, he couldn't stop himself from looking back at her and saying "Night, Em."_

_To his surprise and delight, Emily responded at that, making him stop. "Hey, Reid." She looked around, up and down the hall and the finally back to him again. Reid looked, too, and found they were completely alone. "Did you... I mean, you're probably too tired to talk now, right?"_

_"_Talk about what?_" Meadows wanted to know._

_Reid wished he knew. "I don't know... what should I do?"_

_Meadows' voice sounded, "_Answer her._"_

_Unsure what to say, he followed his gut feeling and replied, "No... I'm not too tired."_

_She looked at him with such hopefulness. She needed him for something, but what. "I would sleep a lot better if I could vent a little while. Do you mind?"  
><em>  
><em>"No..." He said with a smile, "I don't mind."<em>

_"_Alright, Spencer,_" Meadows announced. "_What happened after this scene? Where did you go after the hallway?_"_

_He wanted to stay here with Emily. He wanted to know what this would lead to. He could feel a real connection with this woman and anything that didn't concern her and her problems didn't bother him right now. But, at Meadows' request, the scene faded into darkness. Reid felt like he was falling asleep again, only hearing the sound of his breathing. In a few moments, he discovered he wore the same clothes with untied shoes... and he was awfully cold._

_Before him stood the opened door of a car. "_Where are you now_?"_

_"I'm... at a car." He announced. "I think I'm looking for something."_

_"_Try to think what, what is so important?_" She asked._

_"Emily..." Was his answer. "Something I'm looking for in here is going to get me to Emily."_

_"_Why do you need to get to her, is she in danger?_"_

_But before Reid could answer, he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He wasn't alone anymore, as he had been since he left his room a few moments ago. Wherever Emily was right now, she was safe... Reid was the one in danger._

_"I need to get out of here." Reid announced, standing up. "I'm being watched."_

_"_How do you know?_" She demanded._

_"I don't, I sense it." For some reason, his hand went to his hip, but feeling around, he realized whatever he was looking for was missing. And that meant he was vulnerable._

_Reid's breathing began picking up. He spotted a cylinder object and grabbed it while his breathing increased. He was about to slam the door and hurry back to the entrance... but at that, something hit him in the head._

_He cried out loud. The pain was so intense, he almost swore it was real. How could this be so painful; it was only a dream._

_Reid gasped and clutched at his head with his free hand. But, he didn't fall down. He fought the whoozy feeling and stayed upright, turning to see his attacker._

_"Someone... hit me." He said through labored breathing. He looked around, but there was no one to be seen. He called into the dark night. "Who's there?"_

_"_How does it feel?_" Meadows questioned. "_What is that pain like, Spencer? What is it doing to you?_"_

_"It's... hard to think about... anything else." He informed, trying to fight through the blinding force of it. "It's... blinding... I can't see anyone around me..."_

_He was so disoriented, he hadn't realized the attacker was right beside him. Another attack, the person was trying to tackle him. He matched Reid in weight and size, but he never saw his face. It wasn't his concern anymore, anyway. Reid was fighting for his life... this person didn't deserve to take it. He had too much to live for. His family, his mother... he couldn't leave them like this. And he was going to fight for each and every one of them._

_Each hit and punch registered in his mind... something smacked him in the face... something knocked the wind out of his stomach... but he kept fighting. There was only one attacker, but he had the strength and speed of two his size. Each cry and plea went out into the air, begging for someone to find him... to stop this._

_"Please..." He kept crying. "Please... I... I can't take it."_

_"_He's had enough, you have to wake him up_." Another voice asked... Emily? Was that Emily._

_"_I told you not to interrupt._" Meadows cried. It wasn't directed at him._

_"Please!" He screamed. "Please, help me! Why isn't anyone helping me! Emily! Emily, please! Where are you!"_

_"_I'm right here!_" Her distant voice cried. "_It's going to be okay._"_

"He's not finished yet." _Meadows explained._

"Yes, he is! Wake him up now!" _Emily screamed, Reid reached out for her, but he couldn't touch her. In a way, it felt like he wasn't moving at all._

_"_Spencer, I'm going to count to four and snap my fingers. When you hear the snap, wake up_." Meadows ordered. "_One_."_

_He wasn't going to make it. He wasn't going to come out of this... this killer was too strong. He was in so much pain, he could feel blood dripping down his neck... and his head, he felt like he was going to vomit. "God, please."_

_"_Two_."_

_Another strike to the side of the head. Reid landed onto the concrete, his head smacking on the solid ground. He groaned in pain, feeling tears sting his eyes. This was it. This was how he was going to die._

_"_Three_."_

_"Emily," He moaned. Any minute, he was going to drift away. There was so much to tell her and he'd never gotten the chance. "I'm so sorry."_

_"_Four_."_

_And at last, as he heard the snap, the scene completely faded away. The pain melted like ice cream in the hot sun. Reid lay there, allowing himself to breathe calmly now... in and out... in and out..._

* * *

><em><em>

"Shh," a soft voice soothed. Reid felt a delicate hand going through his hair. The smell of sweet rain and powder surrounded him, coming from the warm body beside him. "It's alright, Spencer." He felt her soft lips press on his forehead, muttering on his skin. "I'm here, it's all over."

Reid finally came to his senses. His eyes clamped closed as he clutched Emily, keeping her to him. Emily cradled him, stroking a hand repeatedly through his hair. Reid couldn't stop the tears as he sobbed gently. The vision was already fading away, and it felt much more like a dream than an actual memory. But he remembered how he felt, so terrified and in so much pain... that was how he felt that night, as he was taken away.

After awhile, Reid pulled away to look at Emily. She watched him carefully, her hand running down the side of his face. They had such a bond, saying so much with just the intensity of their gaze. Reid stared at her beautiful face... the angel that had lead him from the darkness. At that moment, he wanted to tell her he loved her, but even he couldn't tell if it was real or just from the intensity of the moment. Instead, he imitated her gesture by running his own hand over her face, showing her thankful she was there.

Meadows was making a few notes in a manilla folder, the first professional item to actually appear in the office. "Alright, I think that's enough for today." She said softly, getting to her feet. "We don't want to overdo it on your first session. But you did very well today, Spencer. You have a very open and insightful mind. I think we can do a lot of good here. Let's make another session for... say this Wednesday? I have an opening at 4:30. How does that sound?"

"I don't know," Emily said, looking away from the poor shaking form of her friend. "I don't think this is a good idea anymore. If he has to go through this every time, it's only going to get worse."

"No," Reid said, and Emily looked ot him surprised. "I saw you... I saw Morgan and Rossi... and by seeing you... I remembered what is like, caring about all of you. I want that again. I want to remember my life." He looked at Dr. Meadows and nodded. "Wednesday at 4:30 is fine."

"Very well." She said, pleased that Reid was willing to take this step and help himself, however much she hated putting him through this. "My best advice to prepare for next time is to take it easy, Spencer. Most importantly, you need to get some sleep. I'm going to write you a prescription for a light sleeping pill. Take it on a full stomach right before bedtime. You'll be nauseous in the morning, but you'll feel better once you eat breakfast."

"Okay," He agreed, though he wasn't too keen on sleeping.

Emily was a little amazed she was offering such a modern assistance to her treatment. "I'll write the script for you and leave it at reception. You can rest here until you're ready to leave. And we'll see you on Wednesday."

At that, Dr. Meadows stepped out. Emily and Reid were finally alone again, and Reid rubbed his aching eyes with his one hand, fighting away a headache. His other hand searched for Emily's desperately, relieved as she gave him what she needed.

"Are you alright?" Emily asked softly.

"Yeah," He whispered. "I just need a minute."

She could wait a minute. She could wait 525,600 minutes and longer if it was for him.

* * *

><p>Reid was quiet on the ride home. Emily had tried starting a conversation a few times, but he only gave a few grunts as answers. He wasn't in the mood for talking. First they went to the drug store and Emily got his sleeping pills. After that, as planned, they picked up Chinese food for their dinner and a movie date, and made it back to Emily's apartment. They got inside to they dry warmth and started to prepare for dinner.<p>

"How about we watch the movie in your room?" Emily suggested, giving him a hopeful smile. "I'll get some drinks and bring up the food. You get changed and get the movie ready."

"Okay," was all Reid said, heading to the stairs.

He didn't sound that enthused. "Spencer." She called. He stopped, his foot on the first step, and looked at her. "If you're not up to it... it's okay. You can just... go straight to sleep. You do need your rest."

"No," He replied. "The last thing I want to do right now is sleep. And you did a lot for me today... I want to spend some time with you."

His gentle smile eased her anxiety and she agreed. Emily grabbed drinks and supplies and soon followed him upstairs.

Two hours later, the movie had ended. Emily was delighted how intrigued Reid was by it, so lost in the story of Captain Kirk and his final face off with Khan. When it was over, she didn't even ask if he wanted to watch the sequel, just popped it and spent another two blissful hours with him, watching the movie and enjoying each other's company. She noticed how their bodies managed to lean and rest on each other, no matter what positions they ended up shifted into during their evening.

"Wow," he uttered in a whisper as Spock was reunited with his friends, coming back from the dead. Emily was trying not too look too much into the similiarties of it. "Did they make any other movies?"

"Uh, yeah." Emily replied. "There are six movies in this series. Plus a television series that was filmed two decades before. Then there's The Next Generation series, which has four of it's own movies, Voyager, Deep Space Nine, Enterprise, a new movie which came out a few years ago with new actors in the title roles and that's going to have a sequel very soon. Not to mention there are countless books and comics and cartoons and probably at least 100,000 different fanfictions floating on the interent."

"Wow," He said again. "And... before this happened... I knew all about all of it?"

"Maybe not all of it, but you knew a lot." Emily corrected. "It's one of the interests we share... you're one of the few people who know I'm a closet nerd."

She got ready to start the next movie and sat back on the bed with him. As Emily got close to him, she met his gaze and felt almost intimidated. The look in his eyes... she'd seen that look before from other people. Will looked at JJ like that, as well as Kevin to Garcia... but no one had ever directed it at her. It was pure love and emotion... and for the first time in her life, Emily actually wanted to say those three little words.

But it had only been two days. How could someone know how they felt after just two days? It was impossible.

"You'd better take your medicine," Emily said as a change of subject. She indicated the bottle on the table beside him. "We'll watch the next movie until you get tired and then we'll finish it tomorrow."

Reid squirmed a bit, looking at the bottle. "Do I have to take it?"

Emily hesitated. "Well, no. You're an adult. It's not a life threatening medication, so it's up to you if you want to take it. I'm not going to force you. If you think you can sleep without it, don't take it."

"I don't think I can sleep without, that's the point." He explained, turning back around. He watched his fingers draw circles on the beige comforter beneath them. "I don't want to sleep... every time I close my eyes..."

She saw the fear build in his beautiful eyes again, and tears weren't far behind. Emily reached over, cupping his cheek. "What is it? You can tell me."

"I close my eyes and I try to sleep... and suddenly, I'm back. I'm lost in that darkness and I'm in so much pain... when all I wanted to do was die...and I hear that laugh... the cold, evil laugh from the enjoyment of seeing me in pain... and I'm so afraid this has all been a dream. And I'll be stuck there forever. I don't want to sleep. I just want to stay awake here, with you, where I know I'm safe. Forever."

It ached to see him in so much torment. But Emily had an idea. "Get up." She ordered with a soft smile.

"Why?" He wondered.

"Because I'm going to sleep with you tonight." She explained, climbing off the bed.

The look of surprise and terror on his face made her almost burst out laughing. But she didn't want to offend him and stifled her giggles. Going over to his side of the bed, she pulled him to his feet. "Just trust me." She assured.

Grabbing the orange bottle, Emily poured out the appropriate dose. She took his half drunk diet soda from the table and handed them both to him. "Take this."

"You said you weren't going to force me!" He exclaimed, even more bothered then by her last comment.

"I'm not forcing you." She corrected. "I'm asking you to trust me."

He trusted her. She was probably the only person he did trust. Reid took the pill and the drink, swallowing it like a good boy. Emily smiled, taking it to set aside.

"Now get into bed." She indicated his side, and went back over to her own.

Reid was getting more and more nervous, carefully climbing under the covers as he watched Emily do the same. She fluffed up the pillows and got comfortable. "You know, I've never been in this bed before. It's pretty comfortable."

"Uh... yeah, it is." He agreed, his voice squeaking a bit. "Emily, what are we doing?"

"We," Emily started the next movie, "are going to sleep."

"Oh, so you meant... sleep with me in a literal sense." He clarified.

"Yes," She nestled closer to him under the covers. "We'll watch the movie until you fall asleep. If you have a nightmare, I'll wake you out of it. It'll be just fine."

"But what if you can't tell I'm having a nightmare?" He wondered. He sounded scared, but his arm went easily around her waist, bringing her close enough to feel her heartbeat.

"Well, that's okay. All you have to do then is remind yourself to open your eyes... Because when you do... the first thing you'll see will be me. And you'll know you're safe."

At that, Reid let out an easy breath. "You'll be here? All night?"

Emily leaned into him. "All night," she whispered, and brought him into a real kiss. Passionate and sweet and warming them right down to their toes.

Their bodies laid so naturally together, holding each other close and comfortably, like they'd been sleeping this way for half a century. Reid snuggled against her, his head resting on her shoulder. By the end of the first ten minutes, his breathing turned long and steady. She relaxed as her head rested into the down filled pillows and drifted off as well, both sleeping peacefully through the night. All night.

* * *

><p>AN: Yay! Morgan and Emily had a little heart to heart, I was so happy. I think Reid's going to be okay, I felt so bad for him. He doesn't deal with change and lying well, poor thing. I think he needs therapy... but that's a different series. ;)


	18. A Distressing Morning

Monday morning, Reid and Emily were riding up in the elevator at headquarters. The team would be leaving for their next case in an hour and she wanted to drop off the last of her files beforehand. At least, that's what she told Reid. In truth, she had to inform them on what she learned from the first session, the files were just a cover-up. Once that was out of the way, however, the two could enjoy the rest of their week, further exploring this budding romance. They weren't certain what was going to unfold in the next few days, but they were both excited to find out. It seemed the slow pace they were taking made every bit of closeness so much more titillating.

Emily turned to him as they reached the fourth floor. They would be there soon. "Remember... the others can't know what we've been doing."

"Are you ashamed of me?" He asked.

By his tone, she knew he was kidding and so smiled. "Of course not. I want everyone I meet to know about this. I haven't been this happy in a long time... but we don't even know what this is going to lead to. We deserve the chance to figure that out without drama getting involved... once we're on a bit steadier ground, we'll tell them, but for now, let's just keep this secret. Is that okay?"

At the fifth floor, Reid took her hand gently. Bringing it to his lips, he placed a gentle kiss just below her knuckles. "It's more than okay. I like it just being you and me... I wish it could be this way forever."

She wanted to pull him to her and place a heavy, passionate kiss on him, but simply gave his hand a squeeze. "Me, too."

Those words meant just as much to her as they did to him. For the first time, she hoped for a relationship to last longer than a few weeks. She knew it wasn't rational. She knew Reid had a long recovery ahead of him and who knew how he'd feel about this once his mind came back... but she was willing to stick it out and see. Emily had never wanted to take a risk for a man before. Perhaps that was an indication things would be different this time.

At last, they reached the sixth level and the elevator chimed their arrival. Their hands fell away as they stepped out, making their way inside. The unit was alive with people, hurrying back and forth with whatever task they currently had at hand. A few people took a glance at them, still intrigued by his current condition. Reid was starting to feel like an attraction in a sideshow every time he came here. Sensing his discomfort, Emily pulled him to walk faster. Some people really had nothing better to do.

The bull pen was devoid of the team, meaning they were probably in the conference room. They stopped right where his desk met hers and Emily set her bag down. "Alright," She said, glancing up to the conference room. All but JJ was seated at the round table, she of which was standing up front speaking words Emily couldn't determine from this distance. She looked to Reid again and smiled. "I'll get us some coffee while we wait. I'll be right back. Black with a lot of sugar, right?"

"Just black," Reid corrected.

Emily spoke quickly before she realized, "No, you always take your coffee with-" she stopped short and shook her head. "Just black, got it. I'll be right back."

With an enchanting smile, she turned and headed to the break room. Reid couldn't take his eyes off her, the way her shapely hips glided with each step. He really could stare at her for hours. The only thing better was falling asleep in her arms last night. Wrapped in the warmth of her arms, protecting him like she were once again his perfect angel.

Five years. He sat in this seat across from her all this time, seeing her face almost every day. It was hard to believe they were just friends. He had hoped maybe after spending some time with Emily, it might spark at least a tiny memory of how he used to feel about her. But as far as he could tell, she had never come into his life until the night he rescued her. That bothered him. How could he possibly sit across from her, work with her, be so close to this amazing creature and think of as nothing but a friend? There must have been something wrong with him if not only he didn't want her... but he'd rather be alone. And that was the life he was doomed to go back to?

"Hey!" A cheery voice cried above him on the catwalk, pulling him from his thoughts. "Didn't expect yo see you this morning, Hot Stuff!"

Garcia was coming out of the conference room, with Morgan and JJ trailing behind her. Reid smiled, actually pleased to see his friends. He had to admit, this was a group of nice people who were going out of their way to help him. They were very devoted to him and his recovery when they had no legal responsibility to him. Reid realized he'd been pushing them away all this time, and yet they just kept helping them. He should be making more of an effort to be apart of their lives.

As Garcia bounded down the steps, Reid stood up to greet her. She went to give him a hug and Reid didn't try to deny her, letting her pull him into her arms. It still felt awkward, but perhaps that would pass in enough time.

"How are you guys?" He asked as she pulled away, getting a happy, radiant smile from her.

"Pretty good," JJ replied, not quite as pleased as her bubbly girl. "It looked just like old times, seeing you sit at your desk like that. We really miss you around here."

"Yeah, the sooner you can come back kid... the better." Morgan added, just as despondent as JJ. Their morning conversation with Hotch still fresh in their minds.

"We really missed you on Friday." Garcia, being out of the loop, mentioned happily, giving him a pat on the arm. "Where did you and Emily sneak off to this weekend?"

"We just... drove around for awhile, until the storm got too bad." He shrugged. "And then she took me out for waffles."

"That sounds like fun." JJ said, a little happier. "It sounds like you guys are having already having a nice time together."

None of them could deny the pink that appeared in his cheeks. "We are." He said simply.

He was saved from anymore questioning as Emily arrived, handing Reid his coffee. She greeted each of them pleasantly, striking a bit of a conversation of their weekends and their next case, taking them all the way to Sacramento, California. As Emily questioned JJ about Henry's condition, she caught Morgan's eye. She knew Morgan better than probably the rest of the team and by the way he was looking at her, Emily knew he had something on his mind. And if he wasn't bringing it up here, it was something serious.

Emily swallowed her mouthful of coffee and cleared her throat. "Well, I know you guys got to leave soon, so I'm just going to speak to Hotch and let you guys be on their way."

"We'll go with you," JJ announced. She was suddenly very solmen and did not cherish bringing this out in the open. "Garcia, you don't mind keeping Reid company, do you?"

"Not at all," She agreed. "I'll take him back to my lair until you guys are done, I haven't gotten a chance to show it to him yet."

Giving an affectionate brush to his arm, Emily said to Reid, "I won't be long. And then we'll go get breakfast."

"I'll be waiting," He replied, a twinkle in his eye. He smiled and Emily couldn't help but match it. The others didn't say a word about their unspoken moment, though it was as obvious as a grenade exploding around them. Without another word, they headed off in different directions, the three walking up the steps to the conference room.

Garcia and Reid were much more chipper than these three walking across the catwalk in silence until they finally got into the conference room. Hotch and Rossi were waiting in anticipation, standing up as the others finally arrived. As Morgan closed the door, JJ turned to Emily. "We've got a problem." She said sternly.

"What's up?" Emily wondered, nervous.

"Strauss called me this morning." Hotch announced. There was a frozen, pregnant pause as they waited for their unit chief to continue. "She informed me she wants a preliminary list of candidates for Reid's position by the end of the week."

Emily looked to Rossi for confirmation if this was true, and he looked just as disturbed as the others. Shocked, she turned back to Hotch. "How can she do that?"

"It's been over a month and there's no sign Reid's going to be back to work any time soon." JJ informed. "We're required to keep her up to speed on his condition, and she doesn't have as much hope as we do."

"As you know, the FBI doesn't like to leave spots open too long." Rossi added. "I'm amazed she's given us this long."

"But she can't just replace Reid!" Emily hissed. "It's not like they're are an abundance of agents with 187 IQs and three Ph.D.s around!"

"Do you really think she cares about that?" Morgan asked angerily. He may have snapped at Emily, but she knew that fury was focused on their heartless section chief. "She doesn't get how unique this team is. You can't bring just anybody in and expect us to work the same way."

"What if she does replace him and Reid gets better?" Emily wondered. "What's he supposed to do? How is he going to make a living?"

"Provided he can prove he's mentally competent, the FBI will find him a place within the Bureau." Hotch informed. "But if he doesn't want one, or he can't prove he's capable, he'll have to retire and receive an early pension."

"A pension." Emily repeated. "I doubt Reid has much money saved, a pension is not something he can live on for the rest of his life."

"That poses an even bigger problem." Morgan announced. "If Reid doesn't get his intelligence back, his Ph.D.s will be useless. He'll have to go back to college or be trained in something. And after this attack, he may have to get a GED before he can even consider a new career."

"He could wind up the rest of his life on disability and Welfare." JJ muttered, her eyes sad and horrified. "We can't let that happen to him."

It was amazing how one bad decision could ruin a person's life. If Reid had just stayed in his room that night... if he had just gone to bed, he wouldn't have lost his great gift. And he wouldn't be at risk right now of a frustrating, miserable life.

"There has to be more we can do." Emily voiced. "Can't we stop her? Talk to the director or maybe even an elected official. I know tons of people who could rally for us."

Hotch immediately shot that idea down. "I don't want to play that card yet. We can handle this problem on our own, we just need to think of a plan."

"Stalling the orders won't be a problem. Garcia can take care of that." Morgan announced. "But that can only last a few weeks before someone get suspicious."

"Unfortunately, we can't speed up his healing, that could have the reverse effect." JJ added. "I think the most important thing we can do is keep taking him to therapy."

"Did you make another appointment?" Rossi wondered, looking directly to Emily.

Reluctantly, she nodded. "Wednesday, late afternoon. I really wish there was another way, I don't like doing this."

"Prentiss, we're helping him." Morgan urged. "We're trying to find his captors, we're trying to help his memory."

"You weren't there!" Emily snapped, speaking a bit louder than intended. "You didn't see the pain he was in, the torment. I hate putting him through that. Not only can't he just forget about it, but he has to relive it two, three times a week. That's just as much torture as what the unsubs did."

"Prentiss," Rossi spoke up, softly. Her sad eyes turned to meet his gentle ones, feeling a bit more rejuvenated. "Just give it a few more sessions, now that he knows what to expect, it might not go so badly the second time."

There was no way she was going to stop this. Emily couldn't refuse; they were team and they had to work together. Sometimes they wouldn't always agree, but they always had everyone's best interest at heart. Emily backed down and silently agreed.

Hotch reclaimed his seat. The rest of the team followed suit, all taking a spot at the round table. Emily's eyes landed on one of the empty spots. There was always two or three spare seats, but she just couldn't help but think how Reid should be right there... and he might never sit there again.

At last, everyone settled, Hotch spoke. "Alright, we don't have much time. Prentiss... why don't you inform us on what happened at yesterday's session."

* * *

><p>Morgan wasn't sure how to bring this up. He'd been debating it all weekend, many times even doubting he should bring it up at all. The last thing he wanted was to accuse his closest friend of anything, but he couldn't ignore that kiss. It was a lot more than just a friendly gesture between two friends. But then again, they could have just been caught up in the moment. It had happened to them before... and maybe in Reid's subconscious mind, he was a bit more impulsive than his true self allowed him to be. It wasn't impossible. He had spent years trying to break down the decades of ridicule and shame in order to bring out a little of the kid's confidence. After all this time, Reid still had an incredible amount of low self-esteem.<p>

"Here you go," Emily said, handing over the files. "Sorry it took so long, but at least they're done now."

"Thanks," He said, slipping the files under his arm. Morgan turned in the direction of his office. "Walk with me, talk with me."

"Don't you have to get to the air strip?" She questioned.

"I have a few minutes." He assured. "I just want to talk to you for a minute."

Still a bit concerned, Emily followed him down the hall. "So... you doing okay looking after Reid?"

"Oh, yeah. We're getting along great." She smiled, trying not to seem too delighted.

"And the nightmares?" He pressed.

"A few. But, as I said before, Meadows prescribed him some sleeping pills, so he's getting rest. Plus, we've been staying up late." She beamed. "Yesterday, I reintroduced him to Star Trek and I'm considering starting a week long Doctor Who marathon. We'll start with the new series and then tackle the old."

"Okay, I have no idea what that is." Morgan responded. "But that's not the point."

Curious, Emily recognized his tone. It was the same one he had used a week ago, talking to her about their dance at the bar. "What is the point, Morgan?"

He cleared his throat as they turned the corridor. "What was going on between you and Reid before this happened?"

She was completely baffled why he was bringing this up again. They were hiding it so well, the others couldn't have figured it out after just a few minutes. "I thought we covered this. I told you, nothing."

"It would explain why he was going to your room the night he disappeared." He indicated.

"That was nothing!" She exclaimed, trying desperately to keep her voice down below a yell. She was completely baffled by his sudden inquistion. "I told you there is nothing going on, you need to believe me-"

"Prentiss, I saw the two of you kissing." Morgan stopped in his tracks turning to face her.

Emily gaped at him, feeling like an unsub he just caught in a lie. Her throat suddenly went dry, preventing her from arguing her case.

"I saw you guys last Friday, right before you bailed on us." He explained. "Right outside the Ladies' Room."

"You saw that?" She whispered, her voice beginning to shake.

"I can't get the imagine out of my head!" He cried softly. "It was like you two were trying to climb each other!"

"Oh, come on, it wasn't like that." Her confidence was at last rebuilding. He was distressed over something so little... well, maybe not so little.

"Then what was it, why don't you explain it to me?" He wondered. "Did he just make a move on you? Was it just... a fluke? Please tell me it's nothing to worry about."

"It's... not..." She managed to stammer.

Now it was his turn to be stunned. "Yes... it is. Oh my God, there's more to this. Are you two sleeping together?"

"No, we haven't gotten that far yet!" She exclaimed before she could think of what she was saying.

"Yet?" He asked. "Prentiss, what the hell are you doing?"

"It's nothing... he... likes me." Emily tried to explain without sounding like a stupid teenaged girl. "We've been spending time together, we've been getting to know each other..."

As she avoided his eyes, Morgan gave a low groan. He'd never seen it before, but it was blatantly obvious now. "Oh my God... since when have you had feelings for him?"

"How is that any of your business?" She growl through gritted teeth. Emily was getting angrier by the minute. What right did he have to pull her aside and scold her, like he was her father or something.

"It's every part my business! You getting involved with Reid, at any time? That effects me. That effects JJ and Garcia and the rest of us. Teams are broken up for much less. You're risking your career and the rest of your life for some stupid attraction."

"It's not an attraction!" She argued. "I... care about him. I've never seen him in this way before... and I think I deserve the right to explore that. And I don't need your permission or blessing to do so!"

"I just want you to think about what you're doing." He said, a little more calmly.

"I have thought about it." Emily snapped. "I've thought about it, and I've thought about him. I can't stop thinking about him. Just because you've never had a relationship longer than the duration of a shower doesn't mean the rest of the world behaves like that."

Morgan groaned again. He didn't have the time to get into this. "You're not thinking about what you're doing."

"So what, apparently, you've been thinking enough for the both of us!" Emily checked down the hall, grateful their semi-elevated voices hadn't attracted an audience. "Who else did you tell about this?"

"I wouldn't do that to you." He corrected. "I didn't tell anyone else. As far as I know, the rest of the team doesn't know anything more than they suspect."

"Good, and it better stay that way." She lowered her voice as she leaned up, getting right in Morgan's face. "What I chose to do with my life is my business. And believe it or not, Reid is fully capable of making his own decisions. The rest of you don't need to watch over him like he's two-years-old. We are two consenting adults and we will decide what to do and if you have a problem with that... you're not the friend I thought you were."

"I bring this up because I care about you." He whispered. "I'm trying to look out for you."

"I'm a big girl, Morgan." She snarled, stepping back. "In the field, I want you to have my back, but as for the rest of my life... stay out of it."

And with that, Emily turned and headed back down the corridor. She was fuming and wanting to get out of this building as fast as possible.

"Hey, Em," Garcia cried. She and Reid had been waiting in the hall for the others, talking pleasantly. "Are you... okay?"

"Yeah," She let out a sigh. "Just... work is getting to me. Thank God I get some time off. We'll see you guys on Friday, after the doctor's appointment."

"Great!" She grinned, and looked to Reid. "I'll call you tomorrow to see how you're feeling."

"Thanks," He reached to give her another hug and Garcia was overwhelmed with joy. It was quite like she remembered... but at least he was opening up a bit more. "Good luck on your case."

After saying their goodbyes, Emily and Reid headed to the elevator. They waited for the car to arrive in silence. Emily tried to keep her eyes straight ahead, wanting desperately to get out of here.

"Are you okay?" Reid whispered, leaning down to her ear.

Despite herself, Emily glanced over and caught Morgan's eye as he was walking back to the unit with his go bag. He didn't say a word or offer any kind of apology. She didn't want one anyway, whipping back around. "I'm fine." She hissed.

At last the elevator arrived. As the doors opened, they found it empty and stepped inside. She didn't even wait to see if anyone else wanted on board before closing them inside. Reid stood tentatively to the side, wondering what was making her so upset.

She pressed for the ground floor and the car made it's way below. At last alone, Reid turned to try and question what was bothering her... but he never had the chance. Emily wrapped him in her arms and planted a heavy, passionate kiss on his lips. So powerful, Reid almost felt his knees buckle beneath him, gripping her body for support.

Once a few seconds had passed, the kiss turned a little gentler, tender and smooth. Her hand cradling the back of his head, Emily pulled her lips from his and slowly opened her eyes. Reid's foggy ones met hers, completely lost for words.

"So..." She smirked, her bitterness swallowed with the taste of his lips, "...ready for breakfast?"

* * *

><p>AN: Ugh, sorry this took so long guys. I had the worst writer's block this week. Not just with this story, with everything I'm working on. Fanfiction and original alike. Plus, it doesn't help my sister's pathetic excuse for a laptop is a piece of shit! But I swore I wouldn't go to bed tonight until this was posted. I appreciate you guys hanging in. I know we're taking it slow, but a lot of good stuff is coming up. Romantic stuff, steamy stuff and there's the matter of the elusive unsubs, so stay tuned! And review!


	19. The First Memory

Breakfast was more a one sided conversation. They sat at a brunch place close to the Bureau, surprisingly busy for this time on a weekday. But the people around them went unnoticed. Emily ate her food quietly as she listened to the lively man across from her. He spoke with a such blithe and carefree attitude, she was slowly beginning to forget the worrisome morning she'd just had.

"Are you okay?" Reid asked, uneasy on why she was mostly responding with nods.

As she swallowed her sip of coffee, she replied "Yeah... I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You just... seem bothered or something." He shrugged. His fork messed the last few pieces of hash browns on his plate. "Am I boring you?"

"Spencer," She fussed. It was becoming more natural calling him by his first name.

"I mean, I'm sorry, I don't... know many interesting things to discuss." He said shyly, hanging his head a bit. He had thought things were going so well between them.

"No, no, Spencer." Emily reached across the table to take his free hand. Her touch brought his gaze back to her and she gave an encouraging smile. "It's not you... in fact, you're actually making me feel better. I just... I had a bad morning at the unit, that's all."

"Well, what happened?" He wondered. His long fingers caressed the skin of the hand he held. He stared at her with curious concern.

But at that, she pulled her hand from his. "You don't want to hear about it."

He wasn't discarded so quickly. "Emily, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know. You could tell me things before, couldn't you?"

True, she wouldn't hide something like this from Reid before. This was a lot more serious, though. Still, she should inform him on what was going on. It involved him, too. "You might be out of a job."

"Indeed?" He didn't seem nearly as perturbed by the news as Emily would suspect.

"Please, understand, we're doing everything we can to postpone hiring a replacement." Emily affirmed. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but the table kept him too far away. A pity; physical contact seemed just the cure for easing her anxiety. Funny, it had never been that way before. "But if you're memory doesn't at least start to show an improvement soon, you could be removed from the BAU... possibly the FBI." She decided she'd leave out his possibility of losing all his cridentals and certifications if his intelligence didn't come back. One crisis at a time.

"Well..." He shrugged, turning back to his plate like this were nothing more than rescheduling weekend plans. "If that happens, I'm sure I'll figure out something."

"This is a lot more complicated than that." Emily said, wondering why wasn't taking this seriously. "You don't want to be kicked off the team, do you?"

"I'm not really a part of the team now, am I?" He said, glancing up for a moment to catch her bright brown were so breathtaking, lighting up her exquisite face.

But they were also sad, like she were afraid of losing him. He wanted to explain, but Emily was still like the rest of them. She may see him differenlty than the others, but she was still clinging to a part of him he wasn't sure he could be anymore. And to admit the truth to her was not something he could do. Not that he wasn't sure he could be... but that he wasn't sure he wanted to be.

"There's more anyway... and it's a little bit more serious." She said, looking away again.

Honestly, he couldn't imagine. "What? They found out about us?" He joked with a grin.

"Yes," She stated, looking up.

Reid nearly dropped his fork. He stared at Emily, hoping she might just be lying to get a rise out of him. To make him see her first concern deserved more attention. "What? How... did they..."

"Actually, it's just Morgan." She explained. Emily could have easily kept this secret, but he had asked. He had wanted to know what was bothering her and, as selfish as it might seem, this was the top of her list. "He... saw us kissing on Friday before we left."

At that, Reid looked guilty. "Oh, God, I'm sorry."

"No... it's not your fault." She reached her hand across the table to him, as far as it could comfortably go. To her amazement, he read her mood and reached with his own, taking hers. "We can trust Morgan... he's not too happy about it, but he's not going to tell anyone."

"Well that's a relief." He sighed. "If that's the case, I don't know why you're so worried."

"You don't remember him. He's not going to let this go." She tried to explain. "He's going to keep bringing this up until something is resolved. I've been his partner for five years, I know him better than any one of you. He doesn't deal with change well, he doesn't like when things go against the normalcy... He only does it because he cares. His heart is in the right place, he just... goes about it the wrong way."

Reid thought for a few long moments. His expression was neutral, giving no hint to what his mysterious mind was contemplating. At last he sat back in his chair, observing the lovely lady across from him. "Well... can you answer me one question?"

"Of course," She nodded, waiting with grave anticipation. He took several deep breaths, building her anxiety with each one.

At last, he met her gaze once again. "Does his reaction change the way you feel about me?"

She hadn't been expecting that. Something similar, truly, but nothing that direct. Emily took the time to think about it. To give it the consideration it deserve. When Morgan had mentioned it, she had been offended. Like her intentions were impure, that she was only thinking about her own pleasure and who cared what happened to Reid. She would never do anything to hurt him... she cared about him too much. And at that, she wondered. Was this feeling really new, from just the last few weeks, or had Emily felt this way for much longer... and just not known it.

Finally, she shook her head. "No... if anything, it made me realize my feelings are pure."

Reid blushed, but smiled. "Look," he gripped her hand tighter as he leaned on the table, as if to make their conversation more intimate, "we're doing everything we can to help me get better. Maybe I will get better, maybe I won't. Obsessing over it is just going to make us miserable. And as for us... who cares about what Morgan or anyone else thinks? It's not their decision to make and if they intend to stand in the way of our happiness... their not really our friends, are they?"

Emily smiled. A real, comfortable smile as if the weight of the world was coming off her shoulders. "How do you do that? You always manage to make me feel better."

He shrugged with a satisfied smirk. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Help my girlfriend with her problems?"

Taken aback, she asked, "I'm your girlfriend? You really think we've reached that point?"

"Yeah," He said with a shrug. At that, Reid picked up his fork to finish his breakfast. "It doesn't matter how long we've been together, it's how you feel about the person. You shouldn't over analyze things so much, Emily."

Picking up her coffee, she admired him over the rim of her cup. That was sound advice for her. If only the old Reid could have appreciated that lesson a time or two.

* * *

><p>Not long after breakfast, they returned to Emily's place. It was such a nice day, no doubt one of the few last sunny days of the year. It seemed a shame to waste it indoors.<p>

"I just want to grab a sweater." She informed, searching for her keys in her bag. "It's getting so cold out there, I just need something to keep warm."

Just as she pulled out her keys, a pair of strong arms reached around her from behind. It had been so unexpected, she gasped slightly. Emily never suspected Reid was be so impetious, she was frozen for a moment.

"You really need a sweater?" He asked, leaning in her ear. "I think I can keep you plenty warm."

Another guy, she would have scoffed at something so lame. But it wasn't a line on him. Emily giggled and she turned in his embrace. Leaning up, she quickly caught his lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. Her arms went over his shoulder with her keys clutched in one hand.

The kiss was short. After a few seconds, Reid broke it unexpectedly. He looked around the hall in panic, like he expected some adversaries to be standing there, waiting to strike them.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked, frightened.

Holding up a one finger, he continued to glance at his surroundings. He looked both confused and inspired at the same time.

"Spencer, what is it?" She urged, her free hand landing on his arm.

"We've done this before." He revealed in almost a whisper.

She gasped again, even more stunned than when he took her in his arms. Could he really have just remembered something?

"We were standing here... outside your door..." He pointed to Emily's apartment door as he described this new found memory. "And... we kissed... we've done this before. I know it."

Breathlessly, she replied. "Yes... you're right. We have done this before."

Finally, he met her eyes. They were filled with fear and questions. "When?" He wondered.

"It was about a year ago." Emily explained. "We had just come home from a case... no one else wanted to go out for drinks, so it was just the two of us. I... drank a little too much. You were considerate enough to take me home... you walked me to my door..." Her face started to feel warm as she reached to brush a lock of hair off her cheek. "I... got overly friendly and... I kissed you. You didn't push me away, but I think you were just so surprised, you didn't know what to do."

"Is that all?" He wondered, confused.

She knew her cheeks must be flushed red by now. "I apologized for over stepping my boundaries and we said goodnight... We never talked about it again."

"Why?" He wondered. "If kissing you now is as good as it was then, I don't understand why I would just ignore it."

Emily wasn't really sure how to answer that. "Maybe you just... didn't feel anything for me then. I'm not even sure how I felt about it. I don't know why I did it, I just... at the moment, I couldn't resist. But Monday morning came and it was like it never happened. There was no point in stirring the pot."

"Well... it probably was a good thing we never said anything." Reid said with a sheepish smile. "It we didn't feel the way we do now, it might have ruined our friendship. We wouldn't be here right now."

True, they could have lost the relationship they had before. Reid and Emily would not have been as close and he probably wouldn't have been on his way to her room that night. In which case, he may not have gone down to that car and ended up in this state of mind. And that made her feel guilty, because as badly as she missed her friend, Emily adored the new side of him she had discovered. The side that was sweet and passionate and caring... who made her feel gorgeous just by staring into her eyes. Who held her like she was some priceless fragile thing who needed his protection.

As his hand reached up to brush her cheek and her eyes slipped closed. At his touch, she had an epiphany. She didn't want Reid to lose his job and settle into an uncertain future. But if his memory came back and his old self came returned, he may not feel this way anymore. The threat of losing him suddenly made her terrified, just as she had been when he was missing.

His lips pressing on her forehead brought her back to Earth and Emily opened her eyes. She found Reid's kind hazel gaze and felt reassured. "Do you think this means my memory's coming back?"

"Maybe," She answered. "The doctor said little things could trigger a few memories, but they'll start to come back on their own when your memory is restoring. This is the first real memory you've had, though, so this is a good sign."

He gave a half smile, trying to pretend he was as pleased by that knowledge as he should be. "Do we have to go out today?"

"Don't you feel well?" Emily wondered.

"I feel fine, it's just..." He wasn't sure how to say this without sounding antisocial. "I'd really just like to stay in... relax and just spend some time alone with you."

That sounded like a wonderful idea, Emily wasn't sure why she hadn't thought of it before. Who cared what was going on outside. All she wanted was right in front of her. Finally, she inserted her key in the door. "That sounds like a great idea. How about I make some hot cocoa."

"I don't remember if I like hot cocoa." Reid muttered as she door opened.

Emily smiled, "Just trust me."

* * *

><p>Reid sat cross-legged in his stocking feet on the window seat in the living room, staring out the large bay window. The city was so magnificent. There was a great view of the Washington Monument, reaching up to the Heaven's. The trees around were changing into glorious colors of orange and red and yellow, highlighting the sky into a radiant blue.<p>

Emily had kicked off her shoes as well. She joined him on the cushion, bringing two steaming mugs of cocoa. Her legs folded under her as well, sitting so she could face him.

"Careful," She warned as he gingerly took the hot beverage. "You may want to let it cool a moment so you don't burn your mouth."

"Thanks for the warning," He said, blowing some of the steam away.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't want anything to happen to that tongue of yours." She teased with a wink. Emily bit her lip a bit seductively, loving how Reid blushed and turned to the window again.

"It's so beautiful here." Reid admired, his hands warmed as they wrapped around the porcelain. "You have a really great view."

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "I almost forgot it's the reason I moved in here in the first place."

"How did you forget?" Reid wondered.

Emily took a careful sip of the creamy chocolate. It was still a bit too hot for her liking. "Well... I don't spend much time at home. The BAU keeps me away most of the week and when I'm in town, I keep myself busy. I don't really like to be here that much."

"How come?" He asked, curious.

"Just... because." It was her turn to be shy, looking down into the depths of her drink. "I spend a lot of time by myself, and usually I like it that way. But... when I'm here... it just... reminds me that I'm alone."

"You could get a roommate." Reid suggested. "Or maybe some cats."

"I know I'm older than you, but I'm not ready to go down the cat route, just yet." She said with a bit of a grin. "And living alone is not what I mean by... alone."

It didn't matter how old she got, just admitting her want to be loved and adored in her life made her feel like some naive little girl. It made her uncomfortable to think she couldn't survive on her own, and revealing it to another made him feel the same way.

Reid, however, was not getting that vibe. "You're not alone now." He muttered.

"I know," She smiled sincerely as she looked up again. "Believe me, in all the time I've known you, no matter what's going on in my life, you've always assured me I'm not alone... especially now."

His face turned a shade of pink again, but he matched her grin. "Would you tell me something... about my life."

Emily thought carefully about his request. That was a lot of ground to cover. "What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know," was his response. "Tell me about... the work we've done together. I'd like to know some of the things we've experienced before now."

Several stories came to mind. Where was she supposed to start; it was a mystery. "I will never forget the time..." She began, recalling a memory that to this day still haunted her nightmares. "You stood... at point blank range with an unsub... trying to save his life."

"Unsub?" He asked, confused.

"Sorry..." She shook her head. "It stands for unknown subject. It's our reference to the bad guy. We were in Texas... this kid..." She could feel pressure in her eyes. Emily had never admitted to Reid how upset this made her, she didn't want to appear weak in front of him now. "Owen... was this poor, tormented kid... he was taking revenge on the people who had hurt him in high school. He was just so disturbed and angry... and you... related to him."

"How?" He wondered. Reid couldn't imagine doing anything like this. It sounded so fantastic, and standing up in front of a man with a gun was much too brave. He couldn't ever have been capable of that.

"I don't know." Emily replied truthfully. "I'm sure you didn't have an easy time in high school, but you never confided in me about that. But... you felt his pain. You didn't approve, but you understood why he did what he did. And you knew, if the other cops or agents caught up to him first, they would be forced to kill him. You were not about to let that happen... you wanted to save him."

For the first time in years, she recalled the story out loud. All the old feelings flowed back, the fear and terror, so certain Reid was going to be killed... right in front of her.

"You handed me your gun and told me to cover you. I was shocked and screamed your name, over and over, desperate for you to come back to me." Her eyes glistened as she fell back into that scene, watching from the sidelines. There was no view of Owen, she couldn't have taken the shot if she wanted to. "I never heard what you said to him... and I never asked. But you did it. You got him to put his weapon down... you saved his life. We cuffed him and... brought him inside so he could say goodbye to the woman he loved."

That was incredible. Emily had to be mistaken and confused him with someone else. Reid could never do anything like that. "Wow..." he whispered. "I wonder what I said to... convince him."

"I do, too." She said, trying to casually dab the tears away without him seeing. "But I'm not surprised... Spencer, you've always been such a kind, caring person. That has nothing to do with history or experience... you can't train someone to be like that." The wave had surpassed and she managed a smile. "Genius or not, that's just who you are, and who you'll always be."

Suddenly, looking in his eyes became too overwhelming. They were so powerful, Emily couldn't be sure what she'd say or do within the next few seconds and so looked away. She concentrated on taking another careful sip.

As she swallowed, she set the hot cup aside, allowing it to continue to cool. "You know, I was angry at you for a few weeks after putting me through that."

"Did I ever apologize?" He asked.

"No... Hotch gave you a talking to, but... it didn't seem my place to bring it up." She explained.

"You should have." He said, trying to catch her gaze again. He assumed her lack of eye contact was from her contempt to what happened. "I can't even remember and I hate myself for hurting you like that. You should have demanded an apology."

At last, she looked up and found she was tired of talking. There was too much space between them right now. Emily was desperate to touch him, every inch of him. Quickly, she took the almost full cup of cocoa from his hands and set it next to hers. His lap now clear of all obstacles, Emily moved closer, teasing his lips with hers. "What if I demand one now?"

She brought him into a kiss, quickly taking his hand to rest on her hip. Her fingers slid up the fabric of his shirt, landing on his forearm. She waited for him to make a move, to feel his fingers trace along the curves of her lithe figure... but it didn't. It sat motionless on her hip, tense and firm like this was the last thing he wanted. His kiss was of another opinion. Warm and soft, welcoming her without a second conviction. He moaned as her tongue gently claimed his mouth, gliding along his as if to tease him. Judging from his kiss, she could tell he wanted her. The rest of his body was another story.

"Spencer," She muttered, her voice muffled on his lips. "Why won't you touch me?"

"I..." He mumbled, unable to free himself from her embrace. "I... I just..."

"Come on," She smirked in the kiss. One hand ran from his knee up his thigh and felt him jerk sharply beneath her. "I'm cold... aren't you going to keep me warm?"

At that, he immediately ripped from her lips. Reid's breathing was labored, more from anxiety than excitement. That charismatic, passionate man he'd been earlier was suddenly gone.

"Emily..." He uttered, hanging his head. He couldn't look at her. "I don't... I don't feel well... I think I'm going to go lie down."

"Spencer," She moaned, disconcerted. Why was he lying? She had no idea what she had done to upset him. Reid didn't say another word as he climbed off the seat and headed to the stairs. Emily watched him disappear to the second floor. The sound of his door closing registered after a moment. Emily was alone, completely surrounded by silence, with the sensation of his kiss still on her lips. Never before had she felt so rejected.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry updating has been so slow. Things are super crazy right now and laptop time is limited since I still haven't gotten a new one for myself. I appreciate you guys hanging in there. Please review! :)


	20. The Most Natural Thing in the World

Emily gave him some space. It had hurt to watch him run from her like that, but once the rejection had settled in, it hurt more to think of what she had done. How could she have acted like that? He was basically a virgin, barely able to understand what his body could do and Emily threw herself at him. Someone like Reid didn't respond to that. He needed to feel love and respected enough to commit this. She should never have been so forward with him.

She needed something to pass the time. It was much too quiet down here. Emily put on some music, playing the stereo system she hadn't touched in over a year, and put on something classic. It wasn't even noon yet, but Emily poured herself a glass of wine. She relaxed on one of her leather couches with a book in hand, trying to wait the appropriate amount of time before hurrying after him.

The words blurred together after awhile and Emily finally gave up, tossing it aside. She sipped slowly from her glass. If she wanted this to actually work, she was going to have to restrain herself a little better. How could she have gone so fast with him? How could she have just moved on him like that and expect him to just accept it, to know exactly what to do. He was the one who deserved an apology. Emily wouldn't be surprised if she had completely lost his trust now, and he wouldn't let her near him again.

Amazingly, she managed to wait until 3 pm before standing at the foot of the stairs. Above was quiet, no sound of movement. Swallowing hard, she gathered her courage and began to ascend the stairs.

The afternoon sun streamed in from the bathroom window and illuminated the hall. Emily stood outside Reid's closed door. Her fingers lingered on the painted wood, listening inside. No sound. At first she thought she should knock. After all, Emily had embarrassed him enough. But she was too afraid he'd ask her to go away. Grabbing the doorknob, Emily carefully turned it and pushed the door open into the dark room.

The lights were off. Reid's form lay with his back to the door, not noticing he had a visitor. Emily carefully stepped inside and closed the door with a soft snap. He slept, undisturbed.

On soft feet, she made her way to the other side of the bed. Reid's eyes were closed, his chest rising and lowering in rhythm with his breathing. He looked so peaceful, Emily didn't want to bother him.

But as she sat down, the motion rocked him enough to rise him from his light sleep. Reid took a deep breath as his eyes opened, blinking away the sleep. It took a moment for him to remember where he was. In the dimness, he spotted Emily sitting beside him. She reached tentatively for his hand, resting on the bed spread.

To her relief, he gave a dazy smile. "Hey," He muttered softly.

"Hey," She replied. "Have a nice nap?"

"Yeah," He nodded. Reid rolled over so he was lying on his back, the better to see her. "I took one of those pills... they really do help. My nightmares don't seem as bad... maybe in a week or two, they'll be gone."

"That's great, Spencer." She whispered. He admired as she pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. Reid determined it was a habit when she was nervous about something.

"Listen, Spencer..." She began, looking to him with such sad eyes. He hated to see those beautiful brown orbs so unhappy. "I'm sorry about before... I should never have done that to you."

"Oh, Emily," Reid whimpered. "Please... please don't think this was your fault. You did nothing wrong."

"No, we agreed we were going to take this slow and I completely disregarded that. All I was thinking about was myself and what I wanted-"

"Emily," Reid cried, sitting up a bit. As he moved, he never released the hold on her hand. "You don't think I want you, too? I'm desperate to be with you. I can't... look at you and not want to put my hands on you... to kiss every inch of your body... Emily, you're so beautiful, how could I not want you?"

Emily sighed, unable to stop her smile. Just the thought that he wanted her that much filled her with pure joy, it was surreal.

It dissolved as he closed his eyes, obviously tormented. "But... I can't do it..." He spoke slowly, wishing his head didn't hurt so much right now. "I couldn't even button my shirt when I was discharged, it would be foolish to believe I could make love to you?"

Emily gasped, surprised. "You're worried... about me?"

"Of course," His shoulders hunched, humiliated. "I don't know what I'm doing, it would just be... awkward and uncomfortable... and you would regret ever letting me touch you. As badly as I want you, I can't risk losing you."

At that, Emily eased herself closer. Angling her head, she leaned in and captured Reid's lips, bringing him into an understanding kiss. It was phenomenal how much could be said without a single word, just the graceful movement of two lips against another. She was grateful he didn't shy away, but indeed responded by kissing her back.

As Emily pulled away, she rested her brow on his. "Just when I think you can't be even more incredible... With everything you're going through, you're concerned about me... I just, I can't..." She was completely loss for the right compliment. The only thing that could describe how she was feeling was a kiss.

Reid moaned lightly, allowing his hand to rest on her check, pushing her silky hair out of the way. Their lips parted slowly. It was a long moment before Emily opened her eyes, taking every last second she could to savor his kiss.

As she finally found his hazel in the darkness, she gave a sincere smile. "Spencer... please understand. You won't lose me. Nothing that happens could make me regret this. This is new for both of us... not everything is going to be like clockwork right away. I accept that, and I'm willing to work with this until we get it right... As long as you're with me."

She lay her hand palm up on the mattress, a symbol to her commitment. Reid smiled, and reached with his own to accept it.

"I'm with you." He agreed, and gave her hand a squeeze.

Emily breathed a sigh of relief, grateful she hadn't ruined what was already the greatest love affair of her life.

"So..." He said timidly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "...how do we... I mean, do you want to... to start or- or should I-"

"Spencer, no." Emily exclaimed, her free hand sandwiching his in her grasp. "We don't have to do anything today. I know you're nervous... I'm nervous, too."

"You are?" He wondered, making sure she wasn't just humoring him.

"Yes... you and I have a history. As strong as our friendship is, it's a big deal to cross this line. I may have more knowledge on this, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared."

"Wow," He uttered. "That makes me feel a little better."

"Good, so..." She leaned over him and took his other hand. "Let's take our time with this. Spend some... intimate time together, become more comfortable with each other. And when you feel you're ready, that's when it will happen. But only when you're ready."

Feeling much more relaxed, Reid nodded. "Thank you for being so understanding."

"No problem," She softly replied.

He carefully cleared his throat, his eyes darting away anxiously. "So... what, um... what exactly do you mean by... intimate time?"

Smiling mischievously. "You do trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I do." He answered at once.

"Then you'll just have to wait and see." Emily grinned.

* * *

><p><em>Reid couldn't stop shivering. Lost in the darkness, he looked in every direction for some sign of where to go. But there was nothing. Black surrounded him. Was it supposed to be like this or was it just because he couldn't recall the full memory?<em>

_"_Do you see anything around you_?" Meadows called from a distance. Reid turned around, giving anouther futile search, but there was still nothing. __"_Can you move?"_ She asked._

_Reid struggled to walk, but he couldn't for some reason. It took him a moment to understand he was kneeling. It was then he noticed his hands were suspended above his head. He fought against the restraints, but it was no use. It was better just to stay still._

_"No..." He squeaked, trying to keep as still as possible. "I don't want to be here."_

_Meadows did not respond to his request. "_How do you feel?"

_How would anyone feel? Alone, tied up in the dark night? He was terrified... wait? Was it night? Reid knew he'd been here for some time... but how long. "I'm cold..." he managed to shiver... "Every... time i move... the straps cut into my wrist... something's stabbing into my knees. Please get me out of here."_

_"_Are you in pain?_" She pressed._

_"Yes..." He moaned, which come out like a sob. "Please make the pain stop."_

"I need you to describe the pain to me, Spencer._" She ordered. "_It's the only way I can help you._"_

_He moaned. Despite the discomfort, he tugged at the restraints a bit more. Maybe with a little more effort they would give. "It... feels like... my flesh is being cut open. Something is under my knees and it's digging into me... I must be bleeding."_

_Meadows remained on track as he kept with her questioning. "_What about you? How you do feel inside? Your friends, where you come from? They must have crossed your mind._"_

_"I..." He mumbled, thinking. "I want to go home, but... I feel like... I'll never get there. I'll never see it again."_

_"_Good,_" Meadows said, pleasantly. "_Are you alone in the warehouse_?"_

_Reid listened for any kind of clue. "Yes... for now."_

_"_I see..."_ She paused for a moment and Reid was desperate to hear her voice again. She wasn't the most pleasant of company, but it was the only salvation he had in this Hell. "_How do you know you're alone if you're in the darkness?_"_

_Reid thought for a moment. How did he know? But the answer ressurected. "The door... the door always squeaked when... they came."_

_"_Have you seen their faces?_" She asked._

_But at that, Reid heard the door open. He gasped lightly. "They're here."_

* * *

><p>Emily sat in the corner, chewing excessively on her thumbnail. She watched Reid writhe and cry out as he lay in agony. At first, it hadn't been so bad, but now it seemed his halluncination had reached a point where the unsubs had returned to the scene. She winced everytime he cried out, which she was certain was the lash of the whips and chains used on him... perhaps the acid that had burned on his skin. Emily wanted to slap that woman and make her stop this, but she promised she'd stay out of it this time. It was the only way she could ensure to remain during the session.<p>

"Please..." Reid moaned in a his half sleep. "Please... make it stop..."

He cried out again and Emily covered her face with her hands. Why were they doing this to him? Who cares if they never got the unsubs, it wasn't going to change the fact that this happened. This was just evil, watching him suffer and not doing a thing to stop it.

His cries were getting louder and Emily could stay back no more. Without a word, she stood and hurried to the sofa, kneeling next to him. She fought all her instincts not to reach out and pull him to her. Just as she had when she found him.

"Alright, Spencer," Meadows said, at last conceding to his cries. "At the count of four, I want you to wake up. One."

Why four? Why couldn't it be three, it was faster? Emily's hand rested on the fabric of the seat, just inches from his thrashing body.

"Two."

Emily closed her glistening eyes as she begged this woman to count faster. If he was in this much pain now, it devestated her to think what it was like in person.

"Three."

"Please..." Reid cried. "Stop... it hurts so much... please." Emily listened to him call. He just had to hang on for a moment longer. It would be alright, just one more second.

"Four."

At that, his calls instantly quieted. Instantly, Emily jumped up to sit next to him, watching as his eyes fluttered opened; bright, frightened and scared.

"It's okay," Emily assured, reaching out to him. Reid wasn't shy at out of sitting up and letting her wrap her arms around him. His whole body was trembling and he was covered in a cold sweat, clinging to her in a kind of death grip. He seemed even more shaken up than last time.

"I know it's hard to believe, Spencer, but we're making excellent progress." Meadows said kindly, writing on her pad. "You have a very open mind. It usually takes ten for fifteen sessions to get results like this."

Neither of them were sure if this was a real compliment. After all, it was easy to have an open mind when previous experience wasn't looking over your shoulder. Reid's breathing was fast and uneven as he pulled from Emily, unable to look in her eyes.

"Do you need some water?" Emily asked softly.

As Reid nodded, Dr. Meadows took the intuitive. "Allow me, I'll be right back."

Setting her things aside, Meadows stood and left the room. The two alone, Reid finally looked up. It broke Emily's heart to see his wide hazel eyes so saddened.

"It's okay," She said again, her hand giving a soothing touch down his cheek. "It's all over now. That wasn't real, it was just a nightmare."

Starting to catch his breath, Reid nodded, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I'm done..."

"Just a few more minutes and then we can go-"

"No, Emily," He moaned, fighting back tears. "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done."

She tensed a bit. She wanted so badly to give that to him. Were it up to her, she'd grant him his request right now. "I know this is hard on you, but you can't just quit."

"I didn't want to do this in the first place!" Reid cried. "I've already started to get my memory back, I don't see why I have to keep putting myself through this torture!"

For a moment, Emily debated telling him the truth, that his memory was not the first priority of these sessions. But she wasn't sure he'd take that too well. "Spencer, you've had one memory. That's not enough to say you're getting your memory bacik. We have your doctor's appointment on Friday and see what your new scans show. You never know, these sessions could be the sole reason why you're getting better."

He still seemed hesitant. If he didn't want to do it, Emily wouldn't force him, but she owed it to the team to do everything in her power to convince him. In a last attempt, Emily put her hand on his face, gently pulling his gaze to hers.

"Please, Spencer. I hate to see you like this, it looks like you're struggling with everything around you. I just want you to feel a little more normal. Please, just don't give up on this yet?"

As she said it, she knew he wouldn't deny her. His expression softened, effected by the fear and affection in her voice.

"I'll do it," Reid agreed. "Because you asked me to."

So completely touched by his words, Emily was stunned for several seconds. Once she gathered her composure, she leaned forward and captured his lips. She could practically feel his fear melt away as he responded quickly.

As the door sounded, they quickly pulled apart. Dr. Meadows was none the wiser as she returned, glass of ice water in hand. "Feeling better?" She asked, handing him the drink.

With a small smile, he caught Emily's eye. "Much." At that, he took a sip and seemed much more relaxed, like the last half an hour never happened.

It was late. True to her word, Emily had begun a Doctor Who marathon Monday evening and after dinner, they continued on with it. They lay on Reid's bed talking and enjoying one episode after another.

After the fourth one, Emily noticed Reid had fallen asleep. She was fading herself and decided she would sleep better in something more comfortable. Careful not to wake him, she slipped from the room and headed down the hall to her own.

She had left her door open, intending on hurrying back to the guest room before Reid sensed he was alone. One of the few great joys of daily life was changing clothes at the end of a long day. It was one of those things you never really appreciated until you were experiencing it. She pulled on a pair of pajama pants and strappy top to go with it.

Thinking for a moment, Emily considered something. As casual as this outfit was, it was still a bit revealing, especially in Reid's case. She went to her dresser to remove a Yale hoodie she'd had since her sophomore year. Pulling it on, she turned in search of a hairbrush and gasped.

"How long have you been standing there?" Emily asked exasperated.

"Just a moment, since you pulled your sweatshirt out." Reid replied, "I woke up and found you were gone... I was afraid you went to sleep in your bed tonight."

"I was coming right back." Emily explained. "I just wanted to get ready for bed."

He smiled, seeming relieved. He was unable to control his eyes moving around the room, taking in the surroundings.

"Wow, I've been here all weekend and this is the first time I've seen your room." Reid admitted. It was much darker then the guest room, but with double as many windows. The floor was hardwood instead of carpeted, and the bed was bigger. There was twice as much space in here... yet it felt so empty.

"I spend most of my time in here when I'm home." Emily said as she walked to the bathroom. "It's not that exciting."

"It's nice," He said, moving around to get a better feel of the place. Pushing aside the curtain, he looked out the window, spotting the street below. They were right at the front of the building. "What do you do when you're home? You can't just sleep?"

"Well, I have television in the cabinet in front of the bed." She called. "I also listen to music or read, usually while I'm taking a bubble bath."

Emily came back in, pulling her long black hair into a ponytail. Reid was still inspecting her room and it amazed her. It was a small degree, but it seemed his profile instincts had risen to the surface, learner a lot about Emily from her favorite room in the house.

"What kind of stuff do you read?" He wondered.

"Science fiction, mystery... it was... another thing we had in common." She answered.

"That's not a surprise." He replied, giving a small smile. "That's one thing I've realized over the last month... I really like reading. You wouldn't happen to know what my favorite book was? I'd like to read it again."

Emily suddenly remembered. "I can do you one better." She cried, hurrying to her bag in the corner. It had sunk to the bottom, taking her more than a moment to pull it out.

Straightening up, she walked over and placed the black hardback book in his hands. "I'm not positive, but I think this is one of your favorites."

"Complete Stories and Poems by Edgar Allan Poe." He read aloud. "I can borrow this?"

"Look at the inside cover." She smirked, a twinkle in her eye.

"S.C. Reid - 11/13/1987... is this mine?" He looked up, intrigued.

"Well, I don't know your middle name, but I did find it on your desk." She grinned. "Poe is one of your favorites, and mine... he's one of the greatest writers of all time, I think. You'll love his work all over again."

He flipped through the pages a bit. "Wow... I don't even know where to start."

"Well," Emily took the book out of his grasp and took one of his hands, "maybe I could offer some advice."

She lead him over to her bed, sitting down. Her body easily crawled backward up to the pillows, laying back. Reid smiled, joining her quickly. His form was a lot less graceful than hers, but he met her at the top of the bed, his head right next to hers.

"We're supposed to be spending some intimate time together." Emily said, flipping through the pages in a search. "What could be more romantic and affectionate than if we read to each other?"

His smile widened, delighted by that idea. "That sounds wonderful."

Short stories of horror probably weren't the most natural pieces of literature for a sensual evening... but this relationship was far from normal. And they didn't have to be like everyone else to be falling in love.

At last, Emily found the right page. "Okay, this is my favorite story. It's the first Poe story I ever read and I just fell in love with his work."

Reid snuggled closer to her, at the ready to listen. His hand found hers and his head was on the same pillow as hers. She could feel his breath on her ear and it made butterflies emerge in her stomach.

She wanted to kiss him, to pull him as close as possible and make love to him all night. But she resisted. The time would come for that, she just had to be patient. With trembling fingers, she turned back to the book and began, "The 'Red Death' had long devastated the country. No pestilence had ever been so fatal, or so hideous..."

By the time she finished, Reid had fallen back to sleep. Emily set the book aside and got as close to him as possible. Just as she was about to drift off, she felt Reid shift and his arm enclosed around her... like it was the most natural thing in the world.

* * *

><p>AN: The story is The Masque of the Red Death, which is indeed my favorite Poe story. (I want to turn it into a movie someday.) I was going to do Annabelle Lee, because it's my favorite poem, but it's also Gubler's favorite, in which case EVERYBODY uses that poem in their fics. I didn't want to copy.


	21. Bubbles

A/N: Fair warning, this chapter is basically fluff, but from what I've read in the reviews, I don't think you guys will have a problem with that. I guess it's got a bit of a mature warning to it, even though it's really not graphic. (Sorry, I'm a Catholic, I feel guilty and ashamed about everything. You guys understand.) Don't forget to review. :)

* * *

><p>The next night, Emily planned to turn the heat up a bit. If she and Reid were going to be a bit more physical, they had to stop being so shy around each other. She had the perfect plan for a romantic, sensual evening and allow them to become more comfortable with each other.<p>

Reid didn't suspect anything, which made it even more special. Dinner was pleasant and relaxed at the diner around the corner. It was such a lovely evening, with the clear night sky and crisp air. Autumn was in full swing now, the leaves beginning to swirl in breeze down the sidewalks.

As Emily laid the tip down for the waitress, Reid began to pull on his coat. "How about we take a walk? It's such a nice night, we could go through the park."

"Um, no..." Emily smiled. "I think we should head back to my place."

Surprised, Reid didn't protest. "It's probably too cold for that, anyway? There's plenty we can do at your place."

"Exactly," Emily grinned. "And I have the perfect thing in mind."

The headed down the street until they reached Emily's building, hurrying up from the chill. Emily tried to keep herself calm as she unlocked the door and lead him inside. It was supposed to be a surprise, but could she get the whole thing ready before he discovered what she was doing? He might not be willing to go through with it he found out before hand.

"How about... you go and get the comfortable in your room and... I'll come and get you in a minute." She said as she hung her coat on the rack.

"Come and get me?" He wondered. "What are you talking about?"

"Twenty minutes." She stated. "You'll see."

And so, Reid waited. He remained in his room, sitting nervously on his bed. Twenty minutes had never passed by so slowly. Emily had gone into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. He could have tested to see if she locked it, but decided just to wait it out.

It rattled him to think what would be waiting for him on the other side of that door. She had said they would wait until he was ready. He trusted Emily more than anything; she wouldn't force him into anything. What could she be doing on the other side of that door?

Whatever it was, Reid was anxious to find out. He loved sleeping in her room last night. Every breath he took filled his nose with her scent, infused in her pillows. Waking up this morning with her in his arms, he had never been so rested. If he could wake up like that every morning for the rest of his life... that would be fine with him.

At last, after approximately twenty minutes, he heard the click of the bedroom door open. Emily finally came to fetch him, a bright smile on her face, and - he noticed - still fully clothed. "Ready?"

"What is this?" He asked, standing up.

He took her offered hand, watching as she walked backwards, leading him to her bedroom.

"You'll see," She smiled. "We're almost there."

They walked into her bedroom, but didn't stop. Emily at once brought him into the adjoining bathroom. "Surprise!" She gasped.

Reid looked and spotted a bathtub filled with bubbles, a layer of rose petals littered the tile around the tub. Surrounding the porcelain were tiny tea candles, giving off a light scent that reminded Reid of candy. There were several candles about the room, giving off the same smell. Next to the tub was a bottle of wine and two glasses... a perfect, romantic evening for two.

"Wow," He admitted, seeing the scene. "A bubble bath?"

"For us," Emily grinned, stepping closer to him. "It'll help us get more comfortable with each other."

"Yeah..." He uttered, shying away a little. "But... us... naked, in a bath? Don't you think-"

"Spencer, just because a man and a woman are naked together doesn't mean they have to have sex." Emily explained. "This will give us a chance to be vulnerable and intimate with each other. Nothing more than that is going to happen."

He still seemed hesistant and Emily stepped closer. "If you don't want to do this, we don't have to... I just thought it might help us connect a little more with each other."

Though he was blushing, Reid didn't seem to want to turn this down. "This looks lovely."

Emily reached up and pulled him into a warm kiss. With the scent and the atmosphere, she had to greatly restrain herself from getting too amorous with him. It was difficult, with his warm, welcoming lips against hers. As she released him, she looked into his gentle eyes and smiled. "Would you help me get undressed?"

"Absolutely," He smiled, making Emily giggle.

She didn't rush him, or try to direct him what to do. Emily just let him make up his mind of the next move. She felt his fingers land onto her waist, one hand going to the center and the long line of buttons.

"I finally get to repay you for helping me back at the hospital." He muttered, leaning closer to her ear. Emily grinned, feeling his warm breath on her lobe. Each finger gently walking it's way up the button seam.

At last, his hand reached the top and carefully unfastened it. As he reached the second his other hand joined in and slowly started down her blouse, soon revealing the creamy skin beneath it. Emily couldn't help but cling to his arms, unbelieving she was so taken by the simple act of having her shirt opened.

Reid reached the bottom and she waited to feel his touch on her stomach and along her waist. But it never came. He was still uncomfortable touching her and Emily knew she had to back off. Stepping back a bit, she met his eyes as she shrugged the blouse away.

"This isn't so hard, now is it?" She asked, giving him a knowing grin.

With a light chuckle, he took in the sight of her bare torso and lacy white bra. Her raven locks brought out the light hew of her skin, seeming to light her up as bright as the flickering candles surrounding them.

"Your turn," Emily said, stepping forward. He had on quite a few more layers than she, starting with his cardigan. It was discarded quickly with her blouse and she went to the next line of buttons, easily removing each one. Reid never took his eyes off her as she undressed him.

"Do you do this often?" He wondered, inhaling the scent of her hair. It mixed so well with the candles; it was so intoxicating.

"Is that a line?" She teased, but regretted it. Reid wouldn't use a line on her.

"Just curious." He replied simply.

Emily paused, regrouping herself. If they were going to get comfortable with each other, she had to stop trying to hide herself behind sarcasm and deflection. She pushed his shirt aside and at last reached his t-shirt. "No," She replied, looking up to his gaze. Her hand ran along the fabric on his shoulder. "Like I said, I've never been good at relationships... spending time like this with a man is highly unorthodox for me."

Her fingers lingered on the hem of his shirt. Reid longed for her help to remove the garment so he could feel her soft touch on him. "Is this too awkward for you?"

She grinned, at last lifting the t-shirt over his head, revealing his torso to her once more. "No, it's just awkward enough."

Reid laughed out loud and with it much of his anxiety melted away. He leaned and captured her lips, at last allowing his arms to wrap around her bare waist, bringing her against him. He moaned in her mouth at the feel of flesh on his.

As the parted, Emily leaned up to rest her brow on his, smiling. "Come on. The bath is getting cold."

He was still apprehensive, but felt a bit braver as he watched her begin to unbutton her pants. She was going to be just as naked as he was, at least they were in this together. And it would be an absolute lie if he said he hadn't dreamed of seeing her natural form. He tried to keep his heart steady as he watched her push the fabric off her shapely hips, revealing his ivory thighs. She removed one long, slender leg and then another before tossing the pants aside with the rest of the clothes. Biting her lip coyly, she stood straight so Reid could get the full view of her in her underwear.

Reid was desperate to see what was hidden under that teasing lace. Just the thought made him begin to sweat. If only he could touch her. He wanted to, he just wasn't sure he could control himself if he did.

"It's your turn." Emily said after over five minutes had passed.

"Sorry," He grunted a bit, finally managing to look away. He started to undo his belt buckle, "You have me at a disadvantage. You've already seen me in my underwear... this is brand new to me."

"This time I get to enjoy it." She corrected as he pulled down the zipper of his corduroys.

He blushed, but smiled and carefully pushed his pants off. They pooled at his ankles and he took them off, struggling to remove his socks with them. He stumbled a bit, almost falling over before Emily rushed forward to help keep him steady.

"Thanks," Reid said as he stood, throwing his clothing to the side.

His hand had involuntarily landed on her hip as he stood, the fabric of the lace right in the palm of his hand. Reid was torn between trying to keep calm and eager to see the remaining treasures underneath.

Emily's hand landed on her shoulder, the other on the side of his neck. "Are you sure you want to do this? Because if you want to stop, that's okay."

He did not want to stop, and that was a good thing. Because if he did, he wasn't so sure he could walk away. "It's okay... let's do this, I want to be closer to you."

"Good," Emily beamed. Her fingers played with the ends of his hair, leaning closer. His hands fell onto the small of her back, just above the waistband. "I'll go first, okay?"

He nodded in agreement. Emily savored one more moment wrapped in his arms before she pulled away. Her stomach was a meadow of freshly hatched butterflies as she stood before him. Their eyes locked for a few more seconds until her hands traveled up her back to the clasp of her bra. Within seconds, the snaps came lose and the garment began to fall away, and she easily removed it aside. Without missing a beat, Emily removed her panties and discarded them. At last, she stood completely before him in the nude. He was completely speechless and with every passing second, she began to feel more and more sensitive, unsure what he was thinking at the moment.

"Wow," He finally managed to exhale. He took a step closer to her, looking up and down, over and over.

"Is that a good 'wow'?" She wondered with a half smirk.

"Oh," He moaned, so entranced by her gorgeous form. "It's very good."

He placed a quick kiss on her lips, further demonstrating his point. Her fingertips danced on the hem of his navy blue briefs. "Your turn."

It was only fair. Taking a deep breath, Reid moved back and let his hands rest on his underwear. Had he always been this nervous, undressing in front of a girl? It didn't matter, he couldn't ever have been with someone as wonderful as Emily Prentiss. Why this fantastic goddess wanted to share a romantic bath with him was a mystery that he had no desire to solve. With a deep breath, he gathered his courage and took off the last remaining layer of clothing between the two of them.

She could see the flush go from his cheeks and along the rest of his body. He couldn't even meet her eyes as he stood before her. He stared at the ceilinging, like her praying for strength to get through this. Emily said nothing. There was no sigh or groan or, his greatest fear, laughter. Just complete silence that terrified him with every passing microsecond.

Reid didn't look away until he felt a hand on his shoulder again. Startled, he jumped back a bit as Emily slowly put her arms around him, bringing her soft, warm naked body against his.

"You are gorgeous," She whispered, leaning up to his ear. Emily placed a soft kiss just below his ear and nestled her nose on his cheek.

"Really?" His voice squeaked.

"How could you ever think otherwise?" She asked. "I never knew this beautiful body was inside those ill-fitting sweaters all these years.

Getting a full glimpse at Reid, Emily understood why his clothes always gave him such a raggedy appearance. His body wasn't perfectly shaped as a typical male. It was long and slender and slightly gawky. He most certainly was not Emily's type. And yet, he was more beautiful than any other man she'd seen naked before tonight. Again, she wanted to pull him into her room and make hot, passionate love to him until they both passed out from exhaustion. But they weren't there yet. They'd get there, she just had to be patient.

Reid had to admit, once their clothes were gone and had gotten passed the most awkward part, he was a lot more comfortable about this. He wrapped his arms around Emily's waist pulling her right against him, his nose burying itself in her hair and breathing in her intoxicating scent.

"Bath?" She asked, her hand stroking along his shoulder blade.

"Yes," He replied, pulling away. He matched her smile and they stepped toward the tub, disturbing the layer of rose petals as they walked.

Emily went to the wine to pour two glasses as he stood into the water. "It's so lovely, I almost hate to disturb it."

"Like freshly fallen snow." She compared, secretly watching as his gangly legs stepped into the water. His body slipped into the tub, the bubbles soon covering his body as he settled himself. A bit of water sloshed onto the floor, mixed with the petals.

Emily stepped over and handed him the glasses, freeing her hands so she could climb into the water. The water was almost scalding when she drew the bath before, but after spending so much time undressing, it had cooled to a relaxing heat. She eased herself into the water, relaxing back on the porcelain and letting out a sigh of contentment.

"How's the temperature?" She asked once she adjusted to the heat.

"Just fine," He answered and at last reached over to hand her her glass. "This is wonderful, Emily. I'm really glad you thought of it."

"I'm glad you like it." She said, accepting the wine. Settling back again, she took a sip watching as he took one. "If you don't like the wine, you don't have to drink it."

"No," He muttered as he swallowed. "It's good... I like it."

She was glad, at last allowing herself to relax. She observed the sight before her, Reid covered up to his chest in the foam, his arms lined on the rim of the tub as he sat back, just as content as she. His long legs were stretched along the length of the tub, resting right against her hip. The tub was big, but still a tight fit, forcing them close together. She couldn't speak for him, but Emily enjoyed it immensely.

"You look awfully cute in bubbles." She smirked, her toes teasing him a bit on his outer thigh under the water.

"I think the wine's already gone to your head." Reid blushed as he grinned.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Emily wondered. "You seem kind of... tense."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be." Reid assured. "I really like this, it's just... it's hard for me to... relax."

Grinning, Emily set her wine on the table just within reach. "Well, I may know a way I can help you."

Her soft hands disappeared under the bubbles, searching in the water and landing on his closest foot. Lifting it into her lap, her hands began to work and massage it within the water. Within a moment, he let out a long, satisfied groan. Emily looked up, watching his eyes close and his head rest on the porcelain rim.

"Oh, Emily... that feels fantastic." He growled as her thumb put just the right amount of pressure in the arch of his foot.

"Feeling relaxed now?" She wondered as his lips curled into a smile.

"Definitely." He replied. "You're amazing."

She gave a chortle. "Stating the obvious, but thank you."

She kept working on his foot for almost fifteen minutes before finally setting it on the other side of her. Grabbing the other one, she gave it the same treatment. It seemed all the tension and anxiety he'd been carrying melted away.

"Mmmm," he muttered after some time. His long, nimble fingers began to caress and stroke her slender legs surrounding him. Before they'd been trying to respect each other's space in the little room they had. Now, they were comfortable enough to surround each other, letting their legs entangle themselves without the hot bath.

"I don't mean for this to sound like a line," He said, lifting her shapely foot in his hands, "but honestly,... do you do this often?"

"Take hot bubble baths with my boyfriend?" She wondered.

"Not necessarily your boyfriend." He corrected. "But men in general... do a lot of guys get to experience something like this with you?"

If she didn't know better, she'd say he was jealous. It was understandable, but Emily wasn't sure if she should answer truthfully and ruin such a perfect evening.

"Do you really want to talk about this?" She wondered.

"I'm just curious," He answered, the tips of his finger playing with each of her toes. "I'm not trying to see how experienced you are or trying to cause a problem... I just want to know what I have to live up against."

He was worried he wouldn't live up to her previous lovers. As if he could ever disappoint her. Emily's hand stroked against his knee. She couldn't remember if this was his bad one or not, but right now was not the time. "Spencer, I'm not going to pretend I'm some innocent girl. I've done a lot of wild and crazy things, something like this is just the tip of the iceberg. But..." Emily shifted through the water to move closer to him. The bubbles moved around her, like they were creating a path for her, "I've never been able to open my heart to someone like this before. This was usually a means of just getting a man into bed with me, which is not hard to do... but with you it's different."

As close to him as possible, Reid's arms went around her to hold her close to him. With such a soft, sweet smile, Emily continued, "So I guess, to answer your question... no. I don't do this often. In fact, I've never done this before."

Reid smiled and leaned down to kiss her. It was innocent and sweet and soon ended and he wrapped her tighter in his arms. Emily rested her head on his shoulder, her arms enveloped around his middle.

The two spent the next few hours resting in each others arms, talking about everything under the sun, connecting in a way most people never get to experience. At last, around midnight, the water had turned temped. Emily and Reid helped each other out of the water. They dried off and left the bathroom, Emily blowing out each of the half melted candles before stepping out.

Reid put on a pair of pajamas and returned to Emily's room. She was wearing a long cotton nightgown with straps over her shoulders. She was taking the last few strokes of a brush through her silky hair. Turning, she found Reid in her doorway once more.

"I wasn't sure where you wanted to sleep tonight." He informed.

"Well, if you don't mind," Emily said, "I sleep much better in my bed. Would you mind if we stayed here."

"Not at all," He smiled, going over to his usual side of the bed.

Emily just realized how tired she was, fighting exhaustion was getting tougher as she slipped into the warm sheets, the body beside her even warmer. Reid's arms went around her once again, like another cozy blanket, his head reaching over to rest as close to her pillow as possible.

"Hmm," He muttered, resting his head right next to hers. Emily turned to face him, their noses almost touching as she looked in his eyes.

"What?" She wondered.

"You weren't even trying and you still managed to get me into bed." He grinned.

Emily giggled, snuggling against him. "You're incredible, Spencer."

"Hey," Reid whispered, his droopy eyes opening half way. "That was really amazing... I loved it, Emily."

"I'm so glad." She whispered, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose. His eyes slipped closed again and moved a close to her as possible. Emily relaxed in his embrace and could feel her fatigue begin to seep in. She could feel his whole body through her nightgown, laying like this in his arms. Why she wore something so thin, she didn't know, but she liked it. It was like he becoming a part of her, irreversibly changing her life. And the only thing that bothered her about that was the fear of possibly having to let him go.


	22. Sleep Talker

Emily went to the BAU alone the next morning. She hoped she could get in and out a little faster today. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her friends, she was just so happy with Reid. This was an indescribable experience; she felt like she was living a whole other life. It may be just an illusion, but Emily wasn't ready to have it shattered yet.

The team had returned from their case late last night. Apparently, Rossi had called her phone while she and Reid were sharing their intimate bubble bath, requesting she come in the next morning to talk about the last hypnosis session. Maybe this time, she could convince him and the others how this was affecting their friend. There had to be another way to track down his killer. It may take longer, but she just didn't see any other benefits coming from these treatments. And that wasn't fair.

Heading into the unit, Emily saw JJ and Garcia conversing pleasantly. Emily felt a stab of envy. All she wanted was to run over to them and brag about the glorious six days she'd spent with Spencer. It had always been the way. One of the girls would have some glorious romantic evening or encounter and discuss it with the other two the next morning. Sure, Emily had had plenty of steamy stories over the years... but none of them had ever made her so joyous as her time with Reid.

"Hey, Gorgeous Girl!" Garcia cried, spotting Emily walk over. Her happiness faded a bit as she saw she was alone. "Where's our little medical marvel this morning?"

"Oh, he woke up with a terrible headache." Emily explained truthfully. "I gave him some aspirin and told him to go back to bed. Hopefully it'll be better by the time I get back."

"A headache," JJ muttered with a hopeful twinkle in her eye. "You don't think that's a sign he's getting better, do you?"

"It's possible." Garcia smiled. "Pain does indicated healing is happening. Has he been getting them a lot?"

"Uh..." Emily thought for a moment, then shook her head. "None that he's told me about. But then again... Reid's not a complainer."

The girls were too excited to let this go easily. "Have you noticed anything?" JJ wondered. "Like... anything familiar about him? Maybe something that shows his personaility is returning?"

There had been one distinct memory, Emily remembered. She already knew how that scene would unfold. Emily would stand here, tell the girls what had happened and they both would squeal with delight. They would be blinded by joy that Reid had actually remembered something, however insignificant it was. But she'd have to describe exactly what the memory was; the girls had never known about that night. That was conversation she was not ready to have, who knew where it would lead to? Instead, Emily swallowed the truth and shook her head again.

"No..." She mumbled, meeting each of their eyes with sympathy, the better to pass it off as the truth. "But if he does, you'll be the first to know."

JJ was deeply disappointed, sighing and hanging her head. "I feel like we're never going to get him back." She closed her eyes, trying not to cry. She'd cried enouhg over this.

Garcia reached over to brush her arm. "Come on, Angel, you've got keep the faith. I know we're getting close." She looked up, meeting Emily's gaze to help her reassure JJ. "Every day, I feel like we're just a little bit closer, every day I feel we take another step to getting him back. It may be taking awhile but he is getting better, I just know it... and soon, he's going to look at all of us. Just the way he used to."

Despite herself, Emily felt a shudder go down her spine. That was her greatest fear, to have Reid back, the way he'd always been. The wonderful, caring genius who would do anything for his friends... and that's all she would be to him. A friend.

Emily was luckily a master at hiding her emotions. Sharing Garcia's confident smile, she nodded, patting JJ's other arm. "You're absolutely right. You never know, he could have rememebered something already and just doesn't know it. He wouldn't even know to mention it... Garcia's probably right; one thing could trigger in his mind and before you know it, the rest will flow through like a waterfall."

Nodding, JJ looked up with glistening eyes. "I know... I don't mean to get upset, it's just... hard. Henry keeps asking where his Uncle Spence is. Reid has never been away from him this long, and he always brings Henry a present when he's sick... this is too difficult for a toddler to understand. Imagine how hard it is for his mother. I called Bennington last week, just to check how she was... I spoke to her doctor. She is not taking my letters very well. Mrs. Reid is sinking into a depression because she thinks her son abandoned her."

It seemed every day they were developing more problems to deal with, none of which could be solved without Reid's help. "Maybe we could have him call her. She might feel better if she hears his voice."

"I thought of that," JJ shook her head. "And it could help, but Reid is so out of it, she may not even believe it's him. It could make matters worse."

Emily let out a sigh. "Well, he has another doctor's appointment on Friday, maybe we'll find something new then. The doctor may even find he can operate now and that could set things into motion."

It didn't matter what she said to raise their spirits, however. They were just grasping at straws. If Reid couldn't get better on his own, he never would.

"Well, I want to get home as soon as possible so... I'd better talk to Rossi. Where is he?" She asked.

"In his office," Garcia explained. "How is the therapy going, by the way?"

"Uh... I'm not sure I'm the best one to answer. You know my opinion on it." Emily managed to side step them as she answered. "I'll see you girls later."

And with that, she finally made it into the unit, leaving the girls on the other side of the glass doors. It was one of the quieter times of day. There was no new files or papers placed in her In Box (for once) and so Emily stepped past her desk to the catwalk.

Morgan came out of the break room, a cup of coffee in hand. He spotted her as she walked through the bull pen. He had wanted to talk to her all week, but decided to give her space until he got back. Morgan hated the way they left things.

"Prentiss," He called as she headed up the steps. Emily didn't stop as she walked, just made her way across the walk, flashing a cold glare in Morgan's direction. "Prentiss, wait!" He cried, but she didn't stop. Emily put her back to him as she knocked on Rossi's door, waiting a moment for premission to enter. Walking inside, the door closed him out once more. Deflated, Morgan set his coffee on his desk and debated what he should do.

* * *

><p>"Come in," Rossi called as a quick knock sounded on his door. Immediately, his office opened and Emily hurried inside, almost like she was running from something.<p>

"Morning, Emily," He said with a pleasant, almost knowing smile. Rossi always gave the impression he knew all, like the wisdom of the ages was behind his eyes. Emily felt both comforted and bothered by his gaze, wondering how much he could tell by just her face.

"Good morning," She said, taking off her jacket and hanging it up before sitting down. "It got chilly awfully quick this year, didn't it?"

"I'll say," He replied. "I already had to pull out my heavy blankets. It makes me miss having someone to share a bed with at night, you know?"

"Yeah," She mumbled, telling more to her superior than she realized. "Where's Hotch?"

"He's in a meeting with Strauss. He's... going over his list of candidates to interview."

"Damn," Emily muttered under her breath. "How long can he postpone those interviews?"

"If we're incredibly lucky... maybe to the first of the year. It's when the next quarter begins, it would make more sense to start over then. But I doubt we can get through the rest of October before she'll be pressing for him to get started."

"Well, just say the word, I can make a few calls." She hinted. "So how was your last case?"

Rossi didn't answer. His twinkling eyes fixed her and his smile widened a bit. "There's something different about you."

Faining ignorance, "There is?"

"Yes, there certainly is. You seem... relaxed and happy."

"What, I'm usually anxious and miserable?" She wondered, going on the defense. She was actually beginning to wish they were discussing the last therapy session.

"I wouldn't go that far, but... yes, there is usually a cynical, tense attitude about you. I can't remember the last time I've seen you so calm. What have you and Reid been up to this week?"

Perhaps, if Emily had taken her profiling skills into account, she would have conducted her body language a bit better. But a person was always a bad character about signals they put out. Avoiding his eyes, Emily brushed a piece of her hair away, glancing out the window. "Oh, just... talking, mostly. We've watched some old movies, read to each other a little. I think I reintroduced him to Poe. It has been a rather relaxing week. I think I've had more fun this week than any one spent in Atlantic City or the Bahamas for certain."

"It's always nice, getting to know an old friend." Rossi noted. "You sometimes learn things about him you never even knew before."

"Tell me about it," Emily sighed, reaching into her bag. Before he could inquire further, she reached into her bag and removed a pad of paper. "I... made some notes on the last session. It might become a little more useful."

For the next half hour, Rossi and Emily discussed the last session in detail, Emily retold everything she had seen and witnessed, along with a transcript of the dialouge exchanged between Reid and Meadows. Unfortunately, Reid's own recollection of the dream was minimal and didn't provide much help.

"He still hasn't seen the face of either unsub?" Rossi questioned almost rethorically.

"No," She answered. "He really can't identify them in any way... except..." Emily trailed off, not supposing this would do any good.

"Except what?" Rossi pressed.

"Well..." She said slowly. "Reid has a tendency to... talk in his sleep. Nothing major, just some moaning, a little sobbing, usually just a result of nightmares... but... sometimes he mumbles a bit."

"Does he say anything useful?" He asked.

"Nothing that I know for certain." Emily explained. "I'm not willing to bring up anything that I hear, I don't want to upset him further. His nightmares are starting to go away, I don't want to start them up again. But... he's been mentioning someone laughing."

"Someone laughing... like the unsubs are laughing?" He was confused.

"I think it's just one unsub... probably the superior one, the more sadistic one." She theorized.

"It makes sense." Rossi agreed. "He would get the most joy out of the torture."

"And if Reid is haunted by it, it could be a part of his memory trying to break through. His mind is just supressing it to protect him." She stated.

Rossi read over Emily's notes one more time, slipping them into Reid's case file. "I think we should play on that. Talk to Meadows before his next session, tell her to try to bring up the laughter. He could hear it again, it could force him to face his real fears.

Heaving a sigh, Emily knew arguing again would be futile. "I'll discuss it with her. She does have a tendency to do things her own way, she may decide to take him in a different direction that day."

Rossi tried not to snigger at her bitter, cynical tone. There was the Emily he knew. "Dr. Meadows certainly rubs you the wrong way, doesn't she?"

"Ugh!" Emily grumbled. "Let's completely disregard the fact she seems like some unemployed hippie in the sixties. What she puts Reid through... I mean, you're not there, Dave, you don't see what he has to experience. It look likes he's enduring an exorcism."

"I know," He sympathized. "Believe it or not, we hate doing this to him, too. But we want to help him and we have no other idea as to how."

A knock on the door interrupted them. Rossi looked up, curious. "Come in."

The door opened slowly and Morgan poked his head in. "Hey, Hotch just called, he should be finished with his meeting in about a half hour. He did not sound pleased."

"Can you blame him?" Rossi asked. Emily sudden rigid attitude did not go unnoticed.

"How's things in here?" Morgan asked.

"Fine, Emily was just telling me about Reid's last therapy session." Rossi informed. "I think we're about done here, actually."

"Yeah, Reid's probably awake by now." She said, standing up. All her effort was focused on not looking at Morgan. "I'd better go."

"Actually, Prentiss, I want to talk to you for a few minutes." Morgan explained.

She looked up, staring at him coldly once again. "Oh, I think you said enough on Monday, thank you. I don't need you to elaborate further on that opinion."

"Prentiss, I feel awful about how we left things, I just want us to talk." He glanced at Rossi. "Dave, would you mind?"

"No, Dave," Emily growled. "Stay, because unless Morgan has something new to talk about, we have nothing to say to each other."

Rossi tilted his head curiously. "Is this about you and Reid getting romantically involved?"

Both agents looked to Rossi in shock, as he had suspected. But Emily recovered quickly, glaring at Morgan. "I can't believe you told him!"

"I-" Morgan glanced in the bull pen, but no one was around to overhear. Just in case, he closed the door. "I didn't tell him."

"He didn't," Rossi assured, getting to his feet. "I figured it out for myself."

"How? I didn't tell you anything!" Emily exclaimed.

It would take the rest of the morning for Rossi to go back and explain everything he knew about this, everything he'd noticed since he started here. Instead, he kept his answer concise and to the point. "I can read you pretty well, Emily. You seem happier than you have in ages, and the only time a person looks like that is when she's in a new, exciting relationship. You've talked about how you and Reid have been getting closer, and I can tell that wasn't a lie. But when you mentioned everything you've been doing, you spoke very vaguely. You avoided eye contact and touched your face, indicating you were trying to hide something. And how would you know what he's saying in his sleep if you're not sleeping right beside him all night? Tell me it isn't true, Emily."

Her attitude soften as slowly, she sunk back into her chair. She couldn't deny it. As badly as she wanted to lie, to keep this as secret as possibly, she couldn't. Even if Morgan didn't know, the truth was out. Emily let out a sigh. "It's true."

Rossi reclaimed his seat, Morgan taking the one right beside her. "It's not like I planned this." She assured as the men got comfortable. "It's not like as soon as I knew Reid was sick, I was planning how to make a move on him... it just sort of... happened."

"Explain to me how this is a good idea." Morgan said sternly.

Emily flashed him a set of furious eyes. He was treading in dangerous territory. "I know this isn't the smartest thing to do... Reid's sick and work together and... we both suck at relationships in the best of situations... the list goes on and on. But... I don't know, ever since he became this way... I've seen him differently."

"Please don't be offended," Rossi said calmly, "But are you sure this isn't the Florence Nightengale Effect?"

That was it, Emily's suspicion after they first kissed. "What?" Morgan asked.

"It's a condition where a caregiver believes he or she has fallen in love with a dependent, like a nurse falling for a patient." Rossi explained.

"I thought that at first, but..." Emily let out a deep sigh. A great peace seemed to wash over her as she thought back to the last few weeks. "It's more than that. It's more than sympathy... Spencer and I... we connect. In a way I've never been able to with another person before. We're trying not to move to fast, and I have to admit... there's something so sensual in waiting. We're getting to know each other and the more we learn... the closer we get. It's so much better than just getting phsycial right away. It's intoxicating." She opened her eyes, glancing at both them with such hope and passion filling her eyes. "I've never felt this way before."

"Prentiss, are you... are you falling in love with him?" Morgan asked, stunned.

Emily wasn't sure how to answer that, staring at Morgan for a long time. It had only been six days since they've officially started this. That wasn't enough time to believe she was in love. Rossi fixed Emily with a long stare. She waited for a disapproving look or a shake of the head, but Rossi at last looked to Morgan. "I really don't see the harm in this. They're adults, they can make their own decisions. And Emily would never do anything to hurt Reid."

"It's not Reid I'm worried about." Morgan mumbled, folding his arms as he sat back.

"What are you talking about?" Emily wondered.

"Prentiss..." He leaned forward again, lowering his voice to try and keep casual about this. "Listen to me... I don't mean to come off sounding like I'm your big brother or I'm poking my nose where it doesn't belong, I'm just trying to get you to see. If this had happened before Reid got sick, I wouldn't have anything to say about it. I'd be thrilled for you. There is nothing I want more than for my two best friends to find happiness, especially if they could find that happiness together. But things are different now... when Reid comes out of this, he may not feel the same way about you... Em, I don't want you to get hurt."

He had brought her one fear out in the open. But Emily admitted that, she'd have to rethink this whole thing and she refused to give Reid up. She wanted him too much. She remained calm as she stood. "Morgan... I appreciate your concern. But this is a risk I have to take, and that's that. Do you understand?"

Morgan let out a growl, like he was clearing his throat. There was nothing more he could do. At last he nodded. "Alright, I'll stay out of it."

"Thank you," Emily replied. She glanced at Rossi, "You men will keep this quiet from the others, right?"

"We've got enough to worry about, Em, this is the last thing we want to deal with." Rossi assured. "As far as we're concerned, this conversation never took place."

"Thank you." She said. Emily flipped her wrist to check her watch. "I really should get back, Reid's probably awake by now."

"Just answer me one question, Emily." Morgan said, turning to her as she grabbed her coat off the rack. "If you haven't felt this way all along, why suddenly now?"

Emily didn't have an exact answer to that. It was a mystery of the universe, why people fall in love the way they did. "I don't know... but now that I do... I can't understand why I never did before."

"We're all having brunch at my place on Saturday. Think you guys can make it?" Rossi asked as she fluffed her hair out from the folds of her jacket.

"Uh... yeah, definitely." Emily smiled, fastening each button. "You know, maybe that would be a good time to tell everyone else."

"It's up to you, but if you do decide," He looked to Morgan, "We'll be there to support you."

She knew Rossi was sincere, but wasn't so sure about Morgan. Looking to him, however, she felt a great sense of relief as he smiled and nodded. "You can count on it."

Emily was amazed, she felt a lot better coming out of here today than she thought she would. "Thanks, guys. We'll see you then."

Stepping out, Emily closed the door, leaving the men inside. Morgan turned to Rossi. "You're really okay with this? Because I'm looking at this from all kinds of angles and I don't see this turning out well."

Rossi shrugged, remaining nonchalant. "Even if it wasn't, it's not for us to say. We can have any opinion we like, it's still no one's business but theirs. Reid's not braindead, he's just a little sick. He can make his own decisions... and if he does feel this strongly about Emily now... who's to say he didn't before?"

Morgan considered that. "I never noticed anything like that. Reid's pretty easy to read."

At that, he stood up, needing to get back to the files on his desk. Rossi smirked as the door close, closing the file to return to his own work. "Evidently, not as easy as you think."


	23. A Second Opinion

It was just after eleven when Emily got home. She opened the door, trying to be quiet, just in case Reid was still sleeping. However, she spotted him as soon as she stepped in, sitting at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee and his Edgar Allan Poe book.

Reid looked up as she entered, greeting her with the most ecstatic of grins. He really did have such a beautiful smile. "Hey," he greeted, swinging around on his stool in order to face her.

Emily was amazed how just the sight of him made her heart soar. Everytime she saw him, she felt like a little kid waking up on her birthday. So excited and full of life.

"You're up," she declared, removing her coat. Once off, she hurried over to him, placing a quick kiss on his lips. "How do you feel?"

"Better," His arm went around the small of her back, pulling her closer. "My headache's almost gone, it's not too bad now."

"We'll tell Dr. Ashton about that tomorrow." Emily said. "I'm sure he'll want to know about it. It could mean you're getting better."

"But I had headaches before and they started to go away. If they're coming back, wouldn't that mean I'm getting worse?" Reid wondered.

"It's possible." Emily replied. "But there doesn't seem to be any other signs you're getting sicker. You're not forgetful, you're not falling down... I think this is a good thing."

Reid wasn't so sure. All he could think of was looking at his scans last time. He was still convinced there was something wrong with him. He couldn't explain it... he just knew. Whatver it was was manifesting in his brain and by the time they doctors found it... it could be too late.

"What are you thinking?" Emily wondered, leaning down to try and catch his gaze again.

At last, he looked up. "You will be here, won't you?"

Misunderstanding, she smirked. "Well, somebody's got to take you tomorrow, and I've got nothing else to do."

"No, I mean... you will be here? With me? No matter what happens, I can count on you, right? You will stay by my side, no matter how bad this gets? No matter how sick I get?"

"Spencer, you're not going to get sicker." She insisted optimistically.

"You don't know that." He corrected, so grave and serious, it scared her. "Just promise... you'll be with me. I can't go through this alone... and you're the only person I trust. The others, they're nice enough and I know they care... but they're not you. Maybe you're right, maybe I'm just overreacting and nothing bad will happen... but could you just reassure me that you will be there... no matter what?"

Emily leaned down, resting her brow on his. Her delicate hand rested on his shoulder. "I promise, Spencer... I will always be here for you. I will stick by your side through this, no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. Okay?"

He sighed with relief, looking at her with such gratitude. She was the most amazing woman he'd ever met. He didn't need his memory back to know that. At that moment, Reid stared deep into her soft brown eyes. No matter what happened, now or later in his life, all he had to do was look into those eyes and he would be home.

He wanted to tell her he loved her, but instead swallowed his courage and replied "Thank you."

Smiling, Emily reached down and kissed him. It was quick, but comforting. Emily moved to pull him into a hug, feeling his other arm go around her. He would get through this. They both would.

* * *

><p>The next afternoon was rainy and cold. So cold, it almost felt like it could snow. It wasn't often DC got so cold this quickly, but then again, out of the ordinary things happened.<p>

Emily and Reid found themselves at the doctor's office for the second time. Once again, their stomach's were filled with twisted anxiety, excited to see what the results were, but nervous as to what they would show. After the nurse took stats and blood, Dr. Ashton performed a quick check up, asking almost word for word the same questions as last time. He didn't seem at all concerned about Reid's headaches, acting as if their concern was nothing short of paranoid. Didn't he realize how important to her, he was? How serious a situation they were in?

"Okay," Ashton said, making a few notes in his file. "Other than the headaches... have you been experiencing any other pain since last time?"

"No," Reid shook his head, truthfully. "Emily keeps me very comfortable."

She couldn't help but blush a little. It had certainly been a long time since a man could make her blush this much. Ashton did not pick up on the comment. In fact, he seemed a bit bothered by the answer. "And you haven't had any recollection of your life? Any familiarities?"

"I did have one memory." Reid explained, glancing at Emily. "My... girlfriend and I were kissing outside of her apartment... I remembered the first time we did that, and that was... a long time ago."

"About a year." Emily clarified. "Does that mean anything?"

"Memories will appear like that. This is a good sign, but the further back into your past the memories go, the less relevant it is. I'm more concered with recent history. Right before your attack or... during, even?"

"No." Reid shook his head, despondent. "Except for my hypnosis, I haven't remembered anything about that."

"Oh, so you did contact Dr. Meadows?" He said, glancing at them happily. "Good, is that benefiting you at all?"

He once again glanced at Emily, but even with her support, he didn't know what to say. "I don't know... I've only had two sessions."

Ashton made a few more notes before closing the file. "Alright then, let's see what's going on in your head."

Emily remained right by his side through the entire procedure. Not that it mattered; once Reid was inside the machine, he couldn't hear anything but the steady mechcanical thudding of the MRI. The only sight she had of his was his long legs sticking out the end. She wondered what he was thinking right now, was he calm or desperately trying to count the minutes to how much longer he'd been in there. Emily had given up on God a long time ago. And if He were real, He'd probably given up on her, too, she was sure. But for just a moment, she had the sudden idea that perhaps she should be praying. Not for her sake, but for his. Because what was love if you didn't do everything in your power to help the one you cared for so deeply.

After the procedure, Emily helped Reid back to the exam room where they waited. It was mostly silent, the two sitting on the table, clutching each others hands. A thousand different scenarios going through his head. Reid kept stealing glances at her as she stared at the floor. His thoughts were centered on one thing; the promise she had made yesterday. These headaches were a sign and it wasn't a good one. Whatever those scans showed... the results were going to be bad. And would Emily live up to the promise she made?

At last, Dr. Ashton returned. His poker face was emaculate, revealing about the results. Stepping over to the board, he slipped two pages inside and flipped on the light. "Alright then, we have your scans back."

"Are they good?" Emily wondered. Reid swallowed, trying to unstick his throat.

"Yes," He answered, stepping aside so they could see. "We have a great deal of improvement. Here's your scan from two weeks ago," He pointed to the spot in Reid's head that had showed some change since the injury. "And here..." He moved and pointed to the same spot. Most of the gray matter had been replaced by back. "...is after. Much of the swelling has gone down, the abrasions are completely gone, even the vessel is starting to pump more proficiently. You've made a great improvement, Spencer."

They both jumped off the table, going to look at the pictures for themselves. Emily was overjoyed. Indeed, she could definitely see the change this time. It was real proof that Reid was getting better. True, she was scared of losing him, but she did want her friend back. She wanted him to feel better and have his life back, not living aimlessly without a past. And Emily couldn't help but think about his poor mother at Bennington, desperate to have her son back. Before long, Mrs. Reid could be holding her little boy again.

Reid, however, did not seem as pleased about the results as she. He looked between the two, back and forth, examining it closely to spot what he was looking for. Ashton watched him, "See, Spencer, there's a lot more proof this time."

"Yeah..." Reid mumbled. His eyes focused on the second one. "What is that spot? Why is it black like that?"

"It's just a space in the brain. Everything inside can't be see in the scan. This areas so the vessels can transport blood in the brain."

Reid was not convinced. "Is there any other tests we can run?"

Stepping forward, Emily brushed his arm. "Why do you want to run more tests? What's the matter?"

"I... I don't know, I can't explain it." Reid returned to the photos. He couldn't determine what bothered him so much, he just knew there was more to this than Ashton was letting on. "I just... I feel like we're missing something. Is there any tests we can do? Some different kind of scans, maybe?"

"Hmm," Ashton muttered. He stepped forward, switching off the lights to the board. He pulled off the scans, slipping them in Reid's chart. "I'm sorry if you're not pleased by your results, Dr. Reid. Everyone wants a quick fix in medicine, but that's not the way it works. Things take time, and if you're not happy with the way your treatment is progressing, perhaps you should take your treatment elsewhere."

Without another word, Ashton took the medical chart and quickly left. Emily was amazed; she'd never heard a doctor speak to a patient like that before, not off of television anyway. She turned to Reid, who was staring at the floor, eyes burning with fury and frustration. Stepping closer, Emily gave his arm a brush to get his attention.

"What is it?" She asked. "Spencer, what's wrong?"

"I don't know!" Reid exclaimed, looking up angrily. "I know there's something wrong, I just don't know what! I look at those scans and I know I see it... but I can't remember anything, so I don't know what it is. What if... Ashton knows something, but he's not telling us."

"Why would he do that?" Emily wondered. "What good could come from lying?"

"Maybe he's not a very good doctor, maybe having a patient who's not healing when he should be can be bad for his reputation." He mentioned.

That was possible. Doctors were not the "saints in surgical garb" they were always being made out to be. A lot of them did anything to make extra money or save their careers. "Well... in that case, let's get you a second opinion."

His eyes sparkling, Reid looked to Emily, so hopeful. "Could we?"

With a comforting grin, she nodded. "Of course we could. If you feel like there's something wrong, you could be right. So, let's not waste time. I'll talk to the others, we'll do some research and find the best neurologist in DC."

"Really?" He asked, his eyes watering a bit. Any fear he had was gone. Just by those words, Emily was living up to the promise she made.

"Yes." She said, wrapping her arms around him. "I want you to get better. I care about you... not just because we're together, I've always cared about you. And I will take you to every neurologist on the East Coast if that's what you want."

At that, he pulled her into his arms, resting his head on her shoulder. "Thank you... how would I get through this without you?"

Emily pressed a kiss on his temple. "Luckily, you'll never have to know."

* * *

><p>To take his mind off things, Emily took Reid out to dinner. The restaurant she had in mind was unfortunately on the other side of town, but she made the drive anyway. It was worth it.<p>

The rain was coming down in icy sheets by the time they got home. Both hurried out of the cold into the building, desperate to get some warmth. Once inside, Emily quickly removed her coat and hurried to the thermostat to turn up the heat.

"So, tell me, what did you think?" She asked, rubbing her hands together to warm them up.

"It was... interesting." Reid admitted, nodding. "What was that spice in the lamb?"

"Vindaloo curry," Emily answered. "It's probably the spiciest curry there is. You hated it, didn't you?"

"No, it was... good." He answered. "It took a bit to get used to, but... I enjoyed it. We ate like that a lot?"

"We usually eat there - at least - once every two weeks." She said. "The others don't usually like Indian food, but for some reason... you and I can't get enough of it. I personally think it's some sort of self-mutilation. Instead of drugs and alcohol, we're destroying our digestive systems."

Reid chuckled. "Well, I'd certainly like to eat there again... after my taste buds regenerate, that is."

Giggling, Emily turned to head to the kitchen. "Coffee?" She asked.

"Um..." Reid thought for a moment. He'd been debating something since they left the doctor's office. "How about some wine? I liked drinking it last night."

Surprised, Emily thought for a moment. "Sure... I'll open a bottle and... be in in a few minutes."

Reid grinned in response, turning to head into the living room. Emily stepped into the kitchen, her heart beating like a rhythmic drum in her chest. She took a deep breath, needing to calm down. This was nothing but a quiet evening with a glass of wine. It wasn't going to lead to anything.

* * *

><p>Reid sat down on the sofa. He crossed and uncrossed his legs at least a dozen times, trying to find the most comfortable position, still trying to appear open to her when she joined him. He was tired of being afraid, just because he was unsure of himself. She was a beautiful, unique, incredible woman who amazingly wanted him just as much, who was doing so much to make him happy and comfortable. All he wanted to do now was put aside his fears and show her how much he loved her.<p>

Almost thirty minutes later, Emily came into the living room with two full glasses. She had finally relaxed enough to join him in the living room. "Sorry that took so long. I had to let it breathe."

Accepting his glass, Reid smiled. "It's worth the wait, I'm sure."

He took a slow sip and Emily watched him as she sat down. "Yeah... waiting is definitely worth it."

He took that as a good sign. She relaxed on the sofa next to him. This furniture was rather uncomfortable. It was the result of lack of use. Reid slipped his arm behind her on the back of the couch, Emily rested her head against it, letting out a content sigh.

"There's nothing more cozy than cuddling with someone in a warm home when it's so cold outside." Emily mentioned. She took a sip of her own drink, letting the tartness linger on her tongue.

"I could definitely get used to this." Reid answered, snuggling close to her. His thigh was right against hers. Before she could stop it, her hand moved to rest on his leg. She felt his muscles tense slightly for a moment, but slowly relax again, easing into her touch.

For a long time, they sat in a comfortable silence. Words weren't needed to be exchanged, they were just happy to be by each other's side. Emily rested against his shoulder, Reid's arm moving to wrap around her body, holding her close. They stared out of the bay window, watching the icy rain streak down the glass, distorting the picture of the city in the distance.

Before long, her glass was empty. Emily sat up to set it on the coffee table, out of the way. She was beginning to consider going back to get the bottle for a refill, but stopped, her mind suddenly foggy and blank. At first she thought she was imagining it... but those were certainly Reid's fingers lingering on the hem of her blouse. Right at the hem of her shirt.

Sitting back again, she turned to face him. He was leaning into, moving into her personal space... and Emily wasn't sure how to respond to this. Whether to just stand still or move into his. She didn't want to scare him off again.

But then, Reid had said how he didn't like to be treated like a baby. All she had to do was take this slow, not push him further than he was comfortable. She'd have to take her time and just follow her instincts.

Emily reached over, pecking a quick kiss on his lips. It took him by surprise, the echo of it resonating in the quiet room. Reid locked eyes with her, catching the suggestive glint in her eyes.

Her hand lightly stroked his thigh, sending tingles through his body. His breathing became labored and tense, unable to pull from her captivating eyes.

Reid leaned down, meeting her lips in a long, beguiling kiss. Emily couldn't help but let out a soft whimper at the gentle passion of it. Her other hand reached up to cup his jaw, needing to pull him as close to her as possible.

They parted slowly, like they were trying to hang onto each other as long as possible through a kiss. It felt like there was magnet in his lips, forcing them against her soft skin. He dragged them, pressing gentle kisses on along her cheek, slipping over to her ear.

"Emily," He whispered. She shuddered at how sinful he made her name sound.

"Yes?" She asked, her heart thudding almost painfully against her chest.

He moved even closer, his voice so low, she could barely hear him even right against her ear. "I'm ready."

She couldn't help but gasp lightly, exhaling with joy. Her one clutched at his sweater, the other reached up to stroke the back of his head."Are you sure?" She didn't want to ask, for fear he'd change his mind, but she didn't want to put any pressure on him.

He pecked a tender kiss just beside her ear. "Yes... I want to be with you tonight."

Pulling away, she leaned against his brow and met his eyes. Smiling, her fingers ran through his hair one more time as she said gently, "Let's go upstairs."

It seemed they were already in perfect harmony, standing up at the same time. Emily grasped his hand, reassuring him with her gaze. He gave her a shaky grin, and she knew everything was just right. Clutching his hand, she lead him to the stairs, climbing each one slowly. His nerves wanted to get the best of him, but he wouldn't let that happen. All he would let himself think about was the gorgeous woman grasping his hand and the beautiful night about to begin.


	24. Worth the Wait

A/N: This chapter has some more fluff to it, but most of you guys seemed to like it last time. It's kind of mature content, but nothing too graphic, I don't think it's worth changing the rating. If you are uncomfortable reading it, you can just skip to the next chapter, or scroll down to the first page break. You've been warned.

I don't typically elaborate on scenes like this, but it is a romance story, so I wanted to include it. They may be just fictional characters, but they are played by two very real people, both of which I greatly respect and admire. I mean no disrespect towards them. (Again, we're back to the guilt and shame thing.) I'd still love to hear what you guys think, so please review. And stay tuned because things are about to get very complicated. For everyone. :)

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><p>Emily had never been so excited to bring a man into her bedroom. She wanted to drag him in there and never let him leave. Still, they took their time heading upstairs, the opened door at the end of the hall beckoning to them like the Gates of Heaven.<p>

She lead him inside first, allowing him to walk in front of her. Emily slowly closed the door with a soft snap. She leaned against the wood, admiring the beautiful man before him. If seven weeks ago, when everything was normal, someone had told her she'd be standing here tonight about to make love with Dr. Spencer Reid, she'd have been humorously horrified. Now she wanted him so much, she couldn't think straight.

Reid finally turned around, looking at her in question. She was biting her lip, staring at him hungrily. Once again, she was that prowling lioness about to pounce on her prey. Did she have any idea how sexy she was when she looked like that? Reid was more than willing for her to pounce and claim him as her victim.

"Are you just going to stand there?" He asked. He could already feel his face getting warm.

Emily smirked and slowly sauntered over to him. He loved the sway of her hips, how they swiveled just right underneath her waist. He longed to think what else those hips could do. Close enough, she reached her arms up and around his neck, pulling him into a sweet, almost platonic kiss. Reid allowed his hands to settle on her waist, her shapely curves right under his touch. Downstairs, Reid had been worried he'd lose his nerve once they came up here. Now, with her warm body under his touch and the fire burning in his stomach, he couldn't walk away from her if he tried. It amazed him he had wanted to wait this long.

Their kiss broke and Emily looked into his eyes, already glazing over with passion. "I know this is strange to you... if you feel unsure or uncomfortable, you just have to say so. If you want me to stop, you tell me and I will stop. I promise."

"I know," He whispered, his arms enveloping her waist as he pulled her closer. "Thank you for being so patient with me."

The seduction in her eyes turned to compassion as she sighed, "No problem... what are friends for?"

Her soft hand brushed some of his hair away, admiring his handsome face. Something about this was so strange. This was Reid, one of her best friends. This team was her family and therefore, Reid should feel like her little brother. This should be weird and foreboding and... wrong. But it wasn't. It it felt so right. As if they should have been doing this from the start. Never had she felt like that in a man's arms... that was completely new to her.

Reid carefully leaned down and brought her into another kiss. She moaned softly against his lips, so tender. The innocence of the moment soon blazed with passion, their need for each other almost too much to bear. Her one hand entangled itself into his chestnut brown hair, her nails lightly scratching against his scalp. She swallowed the low moan that erupted from him, loving the feel.

As Reid's hands slid down to her backside, Emily felt a shiver through her body. She giggled, loving the touch and felt Reid pull away. She met his gaze again, fear all over his face.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked, nervous.

"It's nothing..." She grinned, her cheeks going pink. "It's just nerves, Spencer. It's been a long time since a man made me nervous... trust me, it's a good thing."

He smiled... that gorgeous crooked smile spread over his face. It made her weak in the knees. "Well... in that case..."

At that, he took her by surprise, causing her to gasp harshly. Reid's arm wrapped around her, bringing her forcibly against him, all but lifting her off the ground. Not a molecule of space remained between them. Emily's hand clutched his sleeve, so taken by the feel of every inch of his body.

"Wow..." She exhaled, her breathing already hard and labored. "You're certainly not so shy now."

Without another word, Reid kissed her again. He was tired of talking, his anxiety melting away. Just a few light touches were bringing such a positive response from her and he liked it. He wanted to see what more he could do.

Emily pushed from him a bit and Reid returned her to her floor. Their lips still connected, she guided him backwards until his knees hit the side of the bed. She pushed him gently, helping him to sit on the edge. Fluidly, she moved with him, straddling his lap.

He still needed a bit of direction, and Emily was more than willing to assist. She took one hand, still settled on her backside, and slid it up her curves. It stopped at her torso, leaving the rest up to him. Reid took the intuitive, gently moving up and cupping her breast.

Even through her clothing, the feel was too much for her. Emily had to detach from his mouth, closing her eyes and emitting a soft cry. It was so angelic, like she were singing, and Reid was determined to hear that sound again and again. His other hand came up to brush the other one, getting the same positive response.

The innocence was over. Opening her eyes, Emily began to unbutton his sweater, easily shoving it away. Without missing a beat, she began to undo his dress shirt, desperate to get under the cotton t-shirt at the very bottom. She mentally grumbled, wondering why he had to wear so many layers.

As she pushed the shirt off his shoulders, Reid took his turn. He began removing her blouse, making slow, delicate work of each button. For someone who had been so virginal a few days ago, he certainly seemed experienced now. Emily begged in silence for him to hurry up. She had to feel those strong hands on her naked body. She just had to.

"Ah..." She sighed lightly as at last, he slipped his hands inside. They caressed along her waist and stomach, sending tingles through her belly.

Reid loved the fear of her skin. Soft, like feathers. He moved his head down, to kiss and suckle on her neck, his fingers still dancing over her lithe figure. His lips and hands handled her body like the strings of a harp, and her musical sighs and whimpers were just as beautiful.

He was distracting her and Emily had a task to finish. She managed to regain function and pulled away, moving her hands under his t-shirt. Reid lifted his arms to help her pull it off, at last revealing his torso to her once again.

It was her turn to get to know his body. She hadn't gotten the chance to savor it in the bath the other night, and Emily wanted to take as much time as possible now. His eyes fell closed at the feel of her hands massaging his skin. She tangled her fingers in his reddish brown chest hair. His heart beat right beneath her touch.

Emily moved down and pressed her lips right over the spot. Reid hummed with fervor. He buried his hands into her hair. It felt like silk slithering between his fingers. She continued her work on his chest, kissing and licking along his skin.

Slowly, she made her way up to his neck where she nibbled and bit playfully at his flesh. He let out a light squeak at the love bite. Emily couldn't help but giggle at the sound.

Sitting up, she met his eyes. "Do you like that?"

"I do," He smiled, at last pushing her blouse off her body. She loved his fingers lingering on the small of her back, carefully heading up to the clasp of her bra. "Though I'm worried the evidence will still be there tomorrow. Won't the others be suspicious?"

"I don't care," She answered, pecking a kiss on his lips. "I marked you for a reason. I want everyone to see you're mine..." She gently kissed over the spot, already turning red. "You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me... and I want everyone to know it."

His heart pounded even harder in his chest. That was it; Reid couldn't take it anymore. He had to have her. Grabbing her hips, he flipped her over onto her back. Emily gasped at his sudden dominance, her hand gripped his arm. She was so taken by all this, it was like she'd be blown away if she didn't hold onto him.

But the doubt quickly returned."I hope I can do this right." He said softly, looking deeply into her vibrant eyes. It was like he was staring into her very soul, and it wanted to be connected to his as much as possible.

"You'll be fine," She assured, stroking his cheek lovingly. "You've done so great so far... it's just like everything else. You know what to do, just follow you're instincts." Emily smiled, her one leg shifted in order to bring him closer to her. "And I'll help you along the way."

He was safe with her, Reid knew that. There was nothing to be afraid. With her consolation, he smiled and leaned down to kiss her. It quickly became wanton and lustful, losing themselves in each other entirely. Of course it was hard for either of them to be lost when together, they felt so utterly complete.

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><p>The only thing Emily could do was breathe. Her face buried itself into Reid's shoulder while she clung to him for dear life, letting the waves of absolute pleasure gradually slip away from her. Reid's was nestled in her neck, panting with utter exhaustion. His lips pressed gently against her sweaty flesh, right in the crook of her shoulder.<p>

"Are you okay?" He finally asked, still winded, his heart beating so fast, he thought it might burst.

Emily usually hated that when a man asked her that after sex, like they were making the mandatory small talk before he could excuse himself and leave. Right now, however, she sighed as her hand stroked through his hair again, never wanting to let him go. "I'm wonderful..."

He propped himself up in order to look at her smiling face. "You're not just saying that, are you?"

Exhaling a laugh, she bit her lip and shook her head. "God no... Spencer, that... that was..."

Quite speechless, Emily reached up to give him a sensual kiss. It was the only way to get her point across. Reid moaned softly; that kiss was going to be the end of him. As they slowly pulled apart, he met her eyes again and grinned. "Good to know."

"What about you? Do you feel alright?" She wondered, gently cupping his cheek with her hand. "Was it worth the wait?"

He stared at her in such astonishment, almost hurt she couldn't see just how much this meant to him. "Oh, Emily... this was the greatest experience of my life... It doesn't matter what happened in the past, I know that you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It was definitely worth the wait... because I would wait forever if it meant I got to have you... I love you, Emily."

He watched her expression turn from happy to completely shocked, almost terrified. Reid shook his head, "You don't have to say it back. I accept if you don't feel the same way, but I feel it, so I had to say it."

"Spencer," She hissed, her chest feeling so tight, like her heart was clawing it's way out of her chest.

Reid immediately launched into an explanation. "I understand if you don't love me... if you don't feel the same way... but please just wait until the morning to tell me so. Do not ruin the most perfect night of my-"

He stopped as her hand rested on his lips, silencing him. She could hardly speak, filled with such incredible emotions she had never experienced before. She prayed it wasn't just her afterglow talking. "I love you, too.

"You do?" His words muffled against her finger tips. Emily couldn't help but giggle at his innocence.

"Yes," She took her hand away, running it down his neck, right to the purplish mark glowing on his neck. "This is unbelievable... I've completely changed since I met you. I never realized what was missing in my life before this happened. And I know there are so many road blocks and obstacles to get over in order for this to work, but... right now, I don't care. I'm so happy. You make me so happy.., and I never want to let you go."

She gave him kiss, caressing her soft hands on his shoulder. Reid pulled her into his arms, moving to make them more comfortable. Emily nestled into his embrace, her head resting in the crook of his neck. It was true, they had a lot to figure out, but Emily also remembered her fleeting fantasy of sharing a life with Reid. She wasn't so sure if that was where they were headed, but if it were filled with nights like this... she could certainly live with that for the rest of her life.

Reid kissed the top of her silky raven hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her, intensified now from their love making. Her body soon relaxed in his arms and her breath turned heavy on his flesh. She'd fallen into a peaceful sleep. Amazing how he'd obsessed with worry over this for days, and now all he wanted was for this night to go on forever.


	25. Truth

Reid woke up the next morning feeling better than ever. For a long time he lay with his eyes closed, just breathing in the scent on the pillow and sheets. It was so refreshing, making him feel like he had just bathed in a fresh rain. Letting out a easy sigh, Reid reached under the sheets to put his arm around her... but found himself alone.

Opening his eyes, he found it confirmed. Emily was no longer in bed. For a terrible minute, Reid believed he had dreamt the whole thing. The kissing, the sex, the confessions of love... it had been so perfect, it was hard to believe it hadn't been his imagination.

The bedroom door suddenly opened and Emily stepped in. She was wrapped in her silver robe with bare feet, carrying two mugs in her hand. "Hey, you're up." She grinned, walking over to his side of the bed. "Sleep well?"

She handed him a hot cup of coffee, sitting on the edge of the bed. Reid accepted the cup, pulling himself up so the blankets gathered just at his navel. Even under the covers, he felt a little exposed lying without any clothes on. But he was so happy, he hid his insecurity. Emily had the most brilliant smile he'd ever seen, even more than when he met her in the hospital. Her eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky and her cheeks were bright and rosey. A night of passionate love making had been just as good for her, it seemed.

"Great," he answered. He just couldn't stop smiling. It seemed unreal that he would feel this happy. "You?"

"Yeah," she sighed, nervously brushing her hair aside. It intrigued him how he managed to make her feel so vulnerable. "We'll have to do this again very soon."

"I'm free tonight." Reid suggested.

His heart soared as she giggled, inching herself closer to him. "I have an idea... how about tonight I cook us a very romantic dinner... with candles and wine and soft music... we'll eat and we'll dance a little, and then after dinner, we'll come back up here for a little... dessert."

"That sounds... perfect." Reid said, breathless. His hand reached up to brush Emily's cheek, he reached up to her, just short of giving her a kiss. "But is there anyway we can have a little dessert for breakfast?"

Emily chuckled, resting her brow on his. "Believe me, I'd love to. Last night was fantastic Spencer, I just want to stay in this room forever... but remember? We're supposed to meet everyone at Rossi's house today for brunch."

"Oh, right," Reid grumbled a bit, but shrugged. "Well, good things come to those who wait."

And with that, he gave Emily a loving kiss. She moaned softly, just as she had last night. How he could do that to her with just a kiss, she had no idea. A mystery never to be solved. Oh, well.

After finishing their coffee, Reid and Emily began to get ready. Reid got a quick shower and Emily took hers after. The buzz of the blow dryer silenced after about twenty minutes, and conversation began to pick up again.

"So..." Reid said after pulling on his socks. "What do you plan to tell the others today?"

"Excuse me?" Emily asked, popping her head out of the bathroom. Her freshly dried hair breezed around her like it was blowing in the wind.

"Well, Emily..." He inidcated the hickey on his neck. "I don't think I'm going to be able to hide this."

Emily cringed at the spot. It was dark and purple, a bit more aggressive than she had intended. "Goodness... I got a little frisky there, didn't I?"

"You're telling me," He grinned, standing up as she walked over.

Honestly, Emily had thought about. She considered it, but last night she had really been caught up in the moment. She hadn't intended on revealing this to the rest of the team yet.

"I could make up a lie or something," Reid suggested. "I don't want to get you in trouble."

Emily lightly brushed the mark, giving a sigh. "I hate to do that. You don't worry about it. If they have questions, I'll tell them the truth. And... they'll just have to deal with it, that's all. This is our life... and I'm happy. I'm never happy... and you were right before, if they don't support us... they're not really our friends."

"Nice to know you're not ashamed of me." He teased. He couldn't resist running his hand through her silky hair, so soft and smooth.

Smiling, Emily leaned to give him a slow kiss. Pulling apart, she gave his body a once over, admiring him in his dark purple boxers. As she looked, she couldn't help but laugh. "Did you get dressed in the dark or something?"

Confused, "What do you mean?"

"Your socks don't match, Silly," Emily teased, pecking a kiss on his cheek. She turned and headed back to the bathroom.

Reid stood alone for a moment, trying to figure out what she found so odd about that. He looked down at his socks... one navy blue, the other striped with two different shades of green. It seemed so normal... this was how he was supposed to dress, was it not?

"Your socks don't match!" Emily exclaimed, running back out of the bathroom. She stared at Reid in shock, wondering if this was just a fluke. "Why... why didn't you match your socks, Spencer?"

He looked down at his feet again. This definitely was right, he was sure. "I don't know..." He looked up to meet Emily's eyes. "I just... I got dressed this morning and... I did it like... it was routine."

"Oh... my... God..." Emily gasped, unable to catch her breath. "Spencer... you remembered. Oh my God, you really remembered something!"

"Yeah..." He mumbled. He was pleased, the hint of a smile appearing on his face. "I did... this is strange, I didn't even see it coming..." He looked up to Emily. "What do you think made it happen?"

"I... I can't say," She stammered. "You know, maybe we were going about it the wrong way. We've been working your brain for weeks on end and last night, we... basically shut it down. Maybe it had gotten as far as it could and needed a break... I can't believe you remembered something!"

"Me neither," Reid mumbled.

"Do you remember anything else?" She shrieked, anxious to hear more.

He shrugged. "I really don't know... I put the socks on without thinking. It's possible I remember more and I just don't realize it. It's not a surprise, it's fairly common when a patient is in his Fugue State, usually he doesn't even realize he's coming out of it."

"What's a Fugue State?" She questioned, completely blown away.

Reid thought intensely for a moment, his face scrunched as he struggled to pull the thought out. It just made his head hurt. "I don't know exactly, it's something to do with amnesia... I don't know how I know that, either."

"Okay, now you're scaring me!" She cried with delight. "I can't believe this! You... you..."

"What?" Reid pleaded.

Her eyes were filling with tears as she whispered. "You sound like you're old self again."

"You know... I didn't think I'd be happy about that, but... I may not be able to recall much right now, but... I feel like I have a real past. Like I'm a real person, not some missing shell." He smiled brightly. "I can't wait for the rest of my memory to come back... I wonder what else I'm going to discover today."

Reid was not the only one letting this reality sink in, but Emily was not quite as happy. Her joy was fading as she turned. " Me, too," She muttered, heading to the bathroom.

"Emily?" Reid called. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," She gave him a fake smile, trying to hide her sadness. "We're going to be late, we'd better finish getting dressed."

"Hey," Reid cried, hurrying forward. His hand landed on her shoulder. "What's going on? Why aren't you happy about this?"

She couldn't lie to him, nor could she hold back the truth. She could trust him, and so took a deep breath. "I'm just... afraid my worst fear is coming true. You're going to get your memory back... and then you'll realize how you really feel about me. I'll lose you... I've just fallen in love with you, I can't lose you."

Shocked, "Emily... I'm insulted in what little faith you have in me." Reid cried. He slipped one hand into her beautiful black hair a second time, her other cupping her jaw. There, he stared directly into her eyes. She felt so weak... those beautiful hazel eyes of his enchanted her.

"I'm in love with you. That's not going to change because I get my mind back. The only thing that bothers me is that I was in front of this beautiful woman for five years and couldn't see just how incredible she is, and that I'm lucky just to even know her... Maybe I'm not the genius everyone says. This accident was a blessing in disguise... it brought us together."

And with that, he pulled her into a long, beautiful kiss. A kiss so powerful, it could change the course of history. Slowly their lips parted and Emily met his gaze again. A smile slowly spread over her face.

"I love you," She muttered.

"I love you, too." He said. "And I swear, Emily Prentiss... I am never going to let you go."

They shared one more wonderful kiss before their went their separate ways, continuing to dress. Emily was so happy, she was tempted to wear mismatched socks, too. Everything was going to be fine. Reid was getting his memory back and he still wanted her. . He would want her no matter what happened. It didn't matter what the team thought of this. She had the man she loved... and that was all she needed.

Reid turned his back to her and pulled on his pants. Emily stifled a gasp. A full sight of his scars and burns was perfectly displayed for her. Healed now, but a constant reminder for the rest of his life. Maybe blessing was the wrong word. But he was hers now, and the least Emily could do was make sure, phsycially or emotianlly, he never suffered that kind of pain again

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><p>They weren't going to say anything until someone else brought up the subject. If they were lucky, no one would notice, or at least no one but Rossi and Morgan. They would at least keep it quiet. Besides, they had a suspicion everyone was going to be too ecstatic by the news to care about anything else.<p>

At 10:30, Emily and Reid arrived. They were the last to show, spotting the cars of the rest of the team already there. Parking on the street, they got out of the car, stepping out into the autumn chill. It was crisp and beautiful, the golden sun glowing bright in the gorgeous blue sky. Emily admired it as they made it to the front stoop, ringing the bell.

"It's so beautiful," Emily mentioned, looking around that picture perfect day.

Reid's attention wasn't on the fall atmosphere. The girl beside him had captured his attention and refused to let him go. "Yeah," He muttered as Emily's graceful hand brushed some freelance hair off her ivory cheek. "Beautiful."

The door opened, answered by none other than their host. "Good morning," Rossi announced, stepping aside to let them in. He smiled like he knew something had progressed between them. "What kept you two this morning?"

"I slept in," Reid said at once, taking the blame. Rossi stepped aside to the let the two pass, taking their coats as he closed the door.

"Everyone's in the living room, we were just about to eat." He said, leading them through the house. Reid was a step behind, looking around the foyer. Emily stepped back, leaning up to his ear.

"Anything seem familiar?" She whispered.

He thought for a moment, but he shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Don't force it, it'll come to you." She took a chance and pecked a kiss on his cheek. "Come on, everyone's waiting."

They hurried to catch up with Rossi, finding the entire team waiting for them. Emily and Reid received friendly greetings from all their friends. The two waited for everyone to settle down.

"Take a seat you guys," Hotch indicated two empty spaces. One on the loveseat, the other an extra chair on the opposite side of the room. Both spots could not be farther from each other.

"Actually, you guys," Emily grinned, stealing a glance at her clandestine boyfriend. "Reid and I have an annoucement this morning."

The worried look between Morgan and Rossi did not go unnoticed by either of them. The rest, however, sat at attention, anxiously curious.

"What is it?" JJ wondered, looking between them for some kind of clue.

Smiling, Emily looked to Reid. It was his triumph, he should get to claim the glory. He blushed, suddenly a little shy. "I, uh... I'm starting to get my memory back."

The gasp went through everyone like a gust of air across the room. He stared at his sneakers for a long time before finally finding the courage to look up. He hadn't expected these people would take the news like this. JJ's hand covered her mouth in surprise while Garcia's eyes were twinkling with tears.

"Do you remember us, Reid?" Morgan wondered, just as stunned and excited as the girls.

"Not... really..." He admitted. "But... this morning... I... I was getting dressed and Emily noticed... I mismatched my socks."

"Oh my God!" Garcia cried, just as Emily had. She glanced at everyone. "That's huge!"

"It is," Hotch agreed. "That's a big part of your personality, Reid. The fact that that came to you on its own means you're making real progress."

"He knew a little about being in a Fugue State as well," Emily added. "He's already spouting out incredible knowledge."

"Are you serious?" Morgan cried, happily. "I never thought I'd miss that."

"I think this calls for a celebration." Rossi announced. "Maybe a little champagne?"

The others were in agreement, but Reid cried "No." The others looked at him in surprise. "You guys shouldn't waste that on me. It's really not a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Spence." JJ argued.

"No, maybe Reid's right." Emily announced. "He still doesn't remember us, and I don't think celebrating this now is going to mean much to him."

Rossi nodded. "Yeah, Emily's right. We'll save it for when you recognize everyone and remember what you mean to this team."

Reid gave a half smile, nodding as he looked at all the expectant faces in the room. "Believe me... I hope that will be very soon."

The fact that he wanted to return to them meant everything. Garcia wiped her eyes, accepting a napkin from Morgan who sat beside her.

"Come on guys, sit down." Rossi called. "Everyone dig in, it's getting cold."

Reid stepped over to take the spot beside JJ on the loveseat. She handed him a plate, helping to serve anything that was out of his reach. Emily accepted a cup of coffee from Hotch. With everyone distracted, Reid looked up, catching Emily's eye. It was a split second, but it was all she needed, and had to fight to stop the silly school girl smile from claiming her face.

* * *

><p>It was a very joyous meal. Everyone was talking and laughing, having such a good time, it was just like old times. Reid seemed to be fitting in well with everyone again. Perhaps he was starting to remember them after all. And thankfully, no one mentioned the bright mark on Reid's neck. Their secret was safe for now.<p>

At noon, Emily had left the room for another cup of coffee. The pot was brewing in the kitchen and went to serve herself. After such a lovely night, a happy, relaxing morning and a romantic evening ahead of her, she was filled to the brim with happiness. Emily was on cloud nine and nothing could pull her back to Earth.

"Having a good time?" Rossi asked as he joined her in the kitchen, a few plates in hand.

"Wonderful," She smiled, mixing the cream and sugar in her fresh coffee. "This was really great, I'm glad we came."

"Me, too." He said. "You both must have had a pretty strenious time yesterday."

She was taking a sip and choked a bit as the hot liquid hit her throat. She sputtered and coughed for a few moments. Regaining her composure, she wiped her mouth with her sleeve and looked at him shocked. "You could tell? Do you think anyone else knows?"

Rossi smirked, trying not to laugh. "I meant because of the doctor's appointment. But I suppose that means you and Dr. Reid moved your relationship to the next level?""

She gave a guilty simper. "Yeah... I would have thought it was obvious with the bite on his neck."

"Oh, you missed it. After you stepped out, Garcia asked him where that came from. He said he fell in your bathroom and burned his neck on the towel warmer."

Emily laughed at that, her stomach doing somersaults at the same time. That was extremely clever. He must really care about her if he kept that secret without a second thought, waiting until she was comfortable admitting it to the team.

"So, back to my original thought," Rossi said. He was rinsing the dishes before slipping them in the dishwasher. "How did the doctor's go yesterday?"

She became rather serious. "Well... I don't think Reid's too happy with Dr. Ashton."

Curious, "How so?"

"Well, he... I don't know, but he senses there's something in his head that needs more attention. He's worried, especially with these constant headaches he's getting, even though Ashton keeps assuring that everything is the best we can hope for. I told him we'd get a second opinion to put him at ease... and I have to admit, I don't think it's a bad idea, either."

"Hmm," Rossi nodded, considering it. "You're right; we probably should have done that in the first place."

"Who knows, maybe Reid's subconcious is seeing something and he doesn't realize." Emily noted, taking another sip of coffee. This time, it went down smooth.

"And speaking of subconcious..." He dreaded bringing this up, knowing how it upset her. But they had to stick to this. "Have you made another appointment with Meadows?"

Emily tensed a bit and sighed. "No... she did say we could come in at any time this weekend, she'd be there during her normal hours... but I haven't decided when we should go again." She met Rossi's eyes, so fierce. "Dave... I'm begging you to reconsider. If you support me, the others will, too. I can't watch him endure that again... forcing him to go through all that pain, it's horrible."

"Emily, we've been over this." He said, folding his arms as he leaned against the counter.

She grumbled, "Yeah, I know... but if he hasn't seen his attackers yet, do you really think he's going to? This is just a waste of time."

"We have to keep trying." Rossi announced. "A profile is just not enough this time. We've followed all the leads, we've done all the searches we can. It's up to Reid to tell us and this is the only way."

"But his memory is coming back, maybe these sessions are just redundant now." Emily suggested hopefully.

"Not until we're sure. Until we have some kind of ID or his memory heals itself, we have to continue this. We need to find these criminals and hypnosis is the only way."

"What?" A voice cried from just outside the door.

Emily felt all the blood drain from her face. She closed her eyes, praying that was just her imagination. Rossi stepped through the kitchen to find their conversation had not been entirely private. Reid stood just outside the doorway, catching their conversation. He stood in horror and disgust, at last learning the truth.

"Reid..." He muttered. "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to hear that."

The apology did no good. The damage had been done. "You guys lied to me? You told me the hypnosis was to help my memory... but it was just to help you?"

"No!" Emily cried. "Spencer, we... wanted to find the people who did this to you. We thought if... if you could identify them-"

"I can't believe this!" He yelled, backing away from. It silenced the talking in the living room. "You lied to me!"

"What's going on?" Hotch asked.

Reid was not about to pause and explain. The anger and bitterness of the truth was too much to bear, erupting from him like a volcano. "I'm sick of this! Since the minute I woke up in that hospital, you all have been treating me like a baby! Why couldn't you just tell me the truth? If you wanted me to do the hypnosis because of the case, I would have gone. But you manipulated me to get what you want! Friends don't do that!"

"Spence-" JJ uttered, trying to get him to calm down.

"And you!" He yelled, looking to Emily. "You went along with it! How could you? I thought you were on my side!"

"We were trying to protect you." She uttered, tears forming in her eyes. This hurt worse than watching him in his sessions... this pain was not a figment of his mind.

"Just..." Reid ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I want to know. Who's idea was it to lie to me? Who!"

He looked at Hotch first, then to Morgan and the girls. He didn't find the answer he wanted, returning his gaze to Rossi. At last, he turned to the last member of the team. Her eyes closed, too weak to even look at him... and finally his face fell.

"Oh, I don't believe this." He gasped. Reid could take no more. Forgetting his coat, he hurried through the foyer to the front door. He practically ripped it off its hinges and rushed out, slamming it behind him.

"Spencer!" Emily cried. She found her strength again and quickly hurried after him. The door closed behind her and she scanned the area quickly.

Reid was already down the street in front of the next door neighbor, and he wasn't stopping. As fast as her legs would take her, Emily ran to catch him.

"Spencer," She exclaimed again, grabbing his arm. "I am so sorry, please don't leave."

"How could you?" He asked, turning to her. "I thought you were different and you lied to me this whole time? And it was your idea, no less!"

"I'm sorry, I was trying to protect you." Tears spilled from her eyes as she pleaded with him. Her voice was shaking. "You were already so scared and confused, I didn't want to make things worse."

"I am not some weak little boy!" He hissed, lowering his voice so only she could hear. "What else have you lied about Emily? Please, I want to know. Like were we even friends? Did you just make up a story when I asked about my life? Tell me... do you really love me, or did you just say that so I would roll over and go to sleep?"

"Of course not!" She sobbed. "I love you! I love you, Spencer!"

She reached to cup his cheeks, but he pulled away, burned by her touch. Emily backed off. "I am so sorry... I shouldn't have lied to you. I feel horrible about it. Please, believe me."

"I..." He stammered, trying to process all of this. He loved her so much, but he wasn't sure he could trust her anymore. "I... have to go, I can't even look at you..."

"Wait!" She reached for him again. "I want to make this right. What can I do to make this better?"

He leaned into her, his voice low and dangerous. "You want to know what you can do? Leave. Me. Alone."

And with that, he turned and continued down the street. Emily stood in shock, watching him, begging for him to turn around and take her in his strong arms. But he didn't. He turned the corner and disappeared from Emily's sight. And the entire world crashed down on her.


	26. For the Good of Science

Emily was shaking when she made it back to Rossi's house. She came inside, closing the door carefully. Leaning against it, she covered her eyes and let her tears fall.

"What happened?" JJ cried, hurrying forward to comfort her.

"He..." She wiped her tears as she breathed slowly, trying to calm down. "He said he wanted to be alone for a little while."

"He just needs time to think, Prentiss." Morgan assured. He had snuck up on her, patting her other shoulder. "We shouldn't have lied to him like that... maybe we were babying him a little."

"We were babying him a lot." Hotch corrected. "Even after all this time, we still see him as that innocent little kid."

"It's my fault." Emily exclaimed. "I'm the one who not only suggested it, but... he's been in my care for over a week, I'm the one who took him to those sessions. I've been telling him the same story over and over. No wonder he hates me."

"Angelfish, he doesn't hate you!" Garcia cried. "He's just angry, it'll blow over."

"Yeah, Emily, he probably just took a walk around the block." Rossi agreed. "Give it twenty minutes, he'll be back."

Emily wasn't so sure. Twenty minutes didn't seem like much time for his anger to ebb away. Rossi stepped forward and put his arm around her, leading her from the door."

"Let's just relax and sit down." He said. She leaned on him as he guided her back to the living room. "Reid will be back and then we'll all sit down and explain this to him."

"More like beg for forgiveness." Emily corrected, a few tears falling on Rossi's shoulder. But she had to stay calm. Because Spencer would return. And when he did come back through that door, she was going to run to him and kiss him and tell him just how sorry she was. She'd confess just how much she loved him and cared for him without a single care what the others thought.

Emily took a seat on the sofa, staring out the huge picture window. The wind was picking up outside, blowing the fallen leaves along the paved streets. She remembered Reid had left his coat. He must be shivering now. Perhaps that was a good thing and he'd be bring him back sooner.

She wanted to be alone, but didn't protest the others sitting around her. The light atmosphere was ruined now. Everyone sat in a tense silence. The remaining food on the coffee table remained untouched, every passing minute seeming longer than the last.

Her first instinct had been right, however, and Reid did not return in twenty minutes. Suddenly she was back in that hotel room, waiting for her friend to come and talk to her. All she wanted was to go back to that night and pull him into her room, preventing all of this from happening. If she knew then what she knew now... things would be so different. She could have her friend back just the way he was and be able to see him in this new light... he looked so handsome in that light.

Twenty minutes turned into thirty. Thirty minutes turned in an hour. An hour turned into three. There was no sign of Reid. JJ and Garcia took turns stepping outside every once in awhile, scanning the streets for a sign of him. Their wasn't a soul.

The sun was beginning to fade. Outside, it was getting colder and the wind was picking up. In the den on the other end of the house, the grandfather clock stuck 5 PM.

"Alright, that's enough waiting." Hotch announced. "He's being stubborn, we need to go look for him. JJ, you come with me. Morgan, go with Garcia. We'll drive around the neighborhood for a sign of him. Rossi, you and Emily stay here in case he comes back."

"No, I want to go out to look for him." Emily argued, jumping to her feet.

"We need someone to stay here." Hotch urged. "He trusts you more than he trusts us, if he comes back, he's going to want to see you. It's best you stay."

Rossi walked up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulder. "We'll be fine here. Call as soon as you find anything."

"We will," Morgan assured. "Don't worry, he's probably sitting on a bench around the corner at the bus stop. This is just a four year old holding his breath."

Emily felt a hot rage burning in her stomach at that. "You know, Morgan, it's that attitude that pushed him to the edge! He's not a little boy, he's a grown man! Why can't any of you see that!"

None of them had ever heard her speak like that before, especially on Reid's behalf. The girls glanced at each other in question, both of which looking to Hotch. He was just as perplexed as they. Morgan, slightly embarrassed, realized he had crossed the line.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He said.

"Don't say to me, say it to him." She muttered, her eyes watering again.

"You guys better get going," Rossi announced. "We'll wait here. If you need help, give us a call."

The others pulled on their coats and stepped out. As the front door opened, the chilly air gushed into the foyer. One by one, they stepped out and headed to their cars.

Rossi and Emily were alone, silence hanging around them. Emily felt like some distraught wife who's husband just walked out on her. "Let's sit down." Rossi offered, guiding her back to her seat.

"I can't just sit here, Dave." She cried. Her elbows sat on her knees as she covered her face in her hands. "I just want to know where he is, I... I need to know he's okay."

"Emily, he's fine." Rossi assured. He gently massaged her shoulder to help her calm down. "You're absolutely right, he is a grown man. He can take care of himself, and he has every right to be angry and blow off some steam."

"I shouldn't have lied to him." Emily whispered. "At first, it wasn't such a big deal, but as we got closer... and we became more intimate... I should have told him the truth. The other day he wanted to quit his sessions, that would have been the perfect opportunity."

"Emily, this is not your fault." Rossi assured. "You were right in the first place... we shouldn't have forced him into this. It should have been his decision."

It didn't matter who was originally to blame. Reid had trusted her and she betrayed him. Her tears couldn't be stopped as she sniffled. "He's never going to forgive me."

"Reid loves you, Emily." Rossi said kindly. She looked over to find a gentle, caring smile on his face. "And when you love someone, you can't help but forgive her. It's impossible not to."

Emily had never said anything about that. Their night in bed had been theirs alone, no one needed to intrude that world. She looked at him, intrigued. "How do you know he loves me?"

With a twinkle in his eye, he put his arm around her and let her rest her head on his shoulder. He could have divulged further, that he'd known for the longest time; years even. He could see love there before he could see anything else about the two. But she didn't need to hear that right now. Patting her arm, he replied "I'm good at what I do."

* * *

><p><em>Reid did not want to be here. He hated Texas. It was much too hot. His head ached and he felt like his skin was starting to crawl. All he wanted was to go home and... sleep. He hated this. He couldn't be beside her all day when he felt like this. At least when he was alone he could have his fix. He'd slip into that wonderful delusional world where he felt nothing except the beautiful girl in his arms.<em>

_Emily rushed out, at last catching up to him. The gentle breeze of the Houston air blew the locks of her hair ever so slightly, framing her delicate face. Her body was framed like an hourglass in that trench coat... the body he would never ho.d, never get to call his own. She belonged to someone else and there was no way to fight that. Just another reminder how unfair the world was to him._

_At last, Emily hurried over to him. She looked bothered and was about to say something. Reid cut her off, trying to get his mind back on the case."There's a high prescence of mental disorder with the homeless."_

_"Yeah..." She muttered. "What the hell was that in there?"_

_"What?" He said, playing dumb._

_"'He may even be in this room as we speak'? We have nothing to support that." She exclaimed._

_Reid was not in the mood to talk about this. All he wanted was to get back to the station and get as far from her as possible. "We're investigating a serial homicide. Should I have pretended there's no danger?"_

_She was appalled by his lack of compassion."We just left that woman potentially afraid of every man who walks into this shelter."_

_"Again, until we find this unsub, how is that a bad thing?" He spat. She was pushing him and he could not be held responsible for his actions if she and her mouth watering perfume didn't back off right now. Every breath brought in the smell of fresh rain and baby powder. He was desperate to pull him to her and run his lips all over, to taste how salty and sweet her flesh was, and breathe in that scent until he was high off of it. It was making his cravings worse._

_"What is the matter with you?" She said gently, bothered by his demeanor._

_"What do you mean what's the matter with me?" Could she sense something? His craving was getting harder to control, especially standing right in front of her._

_"I have never seen you act like this." She stated. Her shock had turned into worry. There was something wrong with her friend and she wanted to help him. It was sweet of her. Emily was such a kind, wonderful person... and that was making him sick to his stomach. The last thing he wanted was her help. In fact, right now, he wanted as much space between them as possible._

_He couldn't even look at her, especially knowing where her true feelings lay. Not only did she not want him_,_ but... to think she wanted to be with... it twisted his stomach into knots at just the thought._

_His anger could be held back no longer. "Oh really, in the months that you've known me, you've never seen me act this way. Hey, no offense Emily, but... you don't really know what you're talking about. Do you?"_

_Triumphant, Reid hurried off towards the car. He went to the passenger side. If she felt so high and mighty, she could drive. She stood in a shock for a moment at his response, and for a brief second, Reid thought she might cry. He hoped not, the last thing he wanted to do was make her cry._

_But she gathered her composure and walked slowly to the car. Reid wouldn't even look at her, glaring out the window. She didn't know him... she didn't know him at all._

The memory had floated to the surface of his mind. He had no idea what had happened prior to it, he didn't even know what case they were talking about. All he knew was the expression she gave him as he told her off and walked away was just like the one he'd just seen outside Rossi's house. That expression of hurt and rejection and guilt. He didn't like seeing her like that... and even less being the reason for it.

One thing was for certain, though, as he recounted that memory. Reid had felt that way for Emily before this happened. He wasn't sure for how long... but it certainly went beyond seven weeks. And much, much deeper. He wanted to run to her and sweep her into his arms and tell this to her... but he was still too angry.

He could understand why the team wanted to do this. Finding these criminals was a priority, and he knew these people needed to pay for the destruction they caused, for the lives they'd taken. It just hurt to know they thought he was too weak to handle the truth. And Emily's betrayal hurt worst of all. She told him he could open up to her, that he could trust her... and yet, she'd lying to him almost the whole time.

"I'm not weak... I thought she saw me differently than that," Reid muttered, tearing up a leaf he'd been holding for the last ten minutes after snatching it out of the wind. He was shivering and didn't think he could stay in this cold much longer. He should have started the journey back to Rossi's a few hours ago. Now it was dark; he wasn't sure if he could find his way back now.

"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." A voice behind him said.

Startled, Reid turned around to find a figure. It was bathed in darkness, just staring at him. He couldn't make out who it was or how long this person and had been standing there.

"Who is that?" Reid called, readying to jump up and a run as far as his long legs would take him.

But he breathed easily as the figure stepped into the light from the street lamp. The white glow illuminated Dr. Meadows, much more bundled up than he. He couldn't help but be a little envious.

"Spencer, what are you doing out here all by yourself?" She asked, concerned. "You're going to freeze."

"Yeah..." He mumbled. "I... I just wanted to be alone."

Meadows looked around. The area was completely deserted. Not a single soul remained at the tables or among the asphalt courts. "And is there a reason you chose the chess park for your solitary time?"

Reid looked around. He hadn't been here in the last two months. All he knew of this place was he felt comforted here, like this was a place he belonged. He couldn't explain it, and just shrugged.

"May I sit?" She asked kindly, indicating the open spot on the stone bench he claimed.

He couldn't see a reason why not, and nodded. It would be nice to have some company. "So what are you doing here at the chess park at this time of night?" He asked.

"It's not that late, it's not even six yet." She replied. "But, since you're asking, I had a dinner date with a friend of mine, I was just walking to my car. It's funny, as I was walking, I was thinking about my favorite patient." She flashed him a kind, almost flirtous smile, "I was wondering why he hasn't come back in yet for another session."

"Well..." He was reluctant to say. Reid didn't want to insult Dr. Meadows. It was the hypnosis he was against, not the doctor. "To be honest, doctor... I'm not so sure I'm going to be coming to another again."

She was surprised and a little troubled by that. "May I ask why? I felt we were making real progress."

With a deep sigh, he answered, "My friends told me the reason for the hypnosis was to help get my memory back, but the truth is... it was just to find the people who attacked me. And the person who decided to lie to me was... Emily. I thought I could trust her beyond anything, but... now I'm not so sure."

"Ironic how we're more likely to be harmed by the one we love than a complete stranger." Meadows mentioned. She reached over and took his icy hand. Reid had to admit, he was happy to feel human warmth on his frozen fingers... although he couldn't help but wish it were Emily and the softness of her skin.

"If I may, however, I'd like to make an observation." She mentioned, looking up to meet his eyes. She had to see how tormented he was over this.

"You may." Reid allowed.

"I've seen the way Emily is around you. She cares about you, it's agony for her to watch you in pain. I'm not sure why she didn't want you to know the truth, and yes it was wrong, but... her heart was most certainly in the right place. Sometimes we have to deceive the ones we love in order to protect them. And that's all Emily was doing for you. Protecting you."

Now it was Reid's turn to feel guilty. Meadows was right. If he knew something that would cause Emily pain, he would do all he could to stop her from feeling it. He'd do almost anything to never see that heartbroken face again. Looking over, he met Meadows gaze, waiting patiently for a response.

"I think I should go talk to Emily." He said. "You're right, she loves me. She was just trying to protect me, and not in a patronizing way, either. I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive her, but... I'm not mad at her anymore."

With a bright smile, Meadows stood up. "Good, I'm glad you feel better. That's what therapists are for."

Reid got to his feet as well. "You really are good at what you do."

"Thank you. I'm hoping to publish something soon. Perhaps you can help me with that. It has to do a lot with the work we've been doing."

With nod, "I'd be happy to help in any way I can."

Meadows indicated further down the sidewalk. "Do you need a ride? It's dark, that's when a lot of dangerous things happen. You know from experience."

"Thanks," Reid said, beginning to walk with her. Getting a ride was a much better idea than wandering around town, searching for the right direction. "I just need a ride to my friend's house, he can take me back to Emily's from there. It's just a few blocks away."

The headlights flashed as Meadows unlocked her car. Reid went to climb into the passenger side and she got behind the wheel. As soon as her side closed, she locked all the doors.

Pulling onto the street, they drove down to get to the intersection. Reid was trying to remember the way back to Rossi's house... whether it was three blocks down before the first left or two.

"What would you say to another session? Just one more." She asked. Her gentle attitude had turned so serious, it perturbed him.

"I don't think so." Reid shook his head. "And anyway, I'm getting my memory back, so if I did see my captors, I'm sure I'll recall them soon."

"But my work is not finished, Dr. Reid." She explained. "Sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the good of science."

"That's true, I suppose..." He muttered. Something was strange. She'd called him Spencer since they practically met and now suddenly he was Dr. Reid. The same thing had happened yesterday at the doctor's office. These people didn't know him, he wasn't introduced as Dr. Reid, and they always seemed so comfortable calling him by his first name. Why would they suddenly want to change that?

"I'll think about," He said, more in an effort to drop the subject. "Your office is awfully far away. Is there any way we can do the hypnosis over the phone?"

A simple joke to lighten the mood. Tickled by his witty remark, Meadows emitted a pleasant, friendly laugh. At the sound of it, however, Reid felt like all the molecules in his body stop. A cold shiver went down his spine and he was was frozen with fear. He couldn't even move, wanting desperately to go back to his stone bench in the park.

He shuddered again as Dr. Meadows reached over and took his forearm. It was a tight grasp, feeling like his muscles would spasm under his touch. She was much stronger than she looked.

Reid felt carefully on his door for the lock, but he found nothing. It felt like it had been forcibly jammed into the door, so it had to be opened by the drivers side in order to unlock. There was no way out of the car.

"Dr. Meadows, please let go of my arm." He begged, his voice squeaking a bit. His breathing becoming quick and labored, his heart thudding in his chest, getting tighter by the second.

"Why?" She asked, her eyes suddenly as cold as the stone he'd been sitting on. "Does it hurt?"

* * *

><p>AN: Plot twist! I really hope you guys weren't expecting this! A lot of good stuff is coming up, so stay tuned! And please review, they would be extra appreciated today! :)


	27. New Strategy

Time passed very slowly. While the four were out searching the neighborhood, Emily and Rossi remained at the house, just waiting. After awhile, she had a hope that Reid might go to her apartment. In the event he did, she called her neighbor to put a note on Emily's door, requesting Reid go next door and call either Emily's cell or Rossi's home. So far, there had been nothing.

The clock struck eight and everyone decided to take a break. The four decided to regroup at Rossi's house and discuss their next course of action.

"There's no obvious place for Reid to have gone." Hotch stated. Always the leader of the group, he took charge to control the situation as much as possible. "This area of town isn't too large so he couldn't have gotten far on his own. JJ and I searched around the square and in popular, well light areas. That would be where most tourists and new comers to the area would go."

"Garcia and I searched through each of the parks." Morgan said. "Including the chess park he used to frequent. We hoped he might feel drawn to that place or remember it as one of his hang outs."

"Nothing?" Rossi wondered.

"No sign of him." Garcia mumbled, downtrodden.

"Alright, so that covers the clear and evident areas." Hotch continued. "We need to start thinking about the more unusual places."

"Emily," Rossi called, startling her in her catatonic state. She sat up, curious. "You know him in this new persona better than any of us, where do you think he might have gone?"

That took some consideration. Carefully, she thought about that, knowing there were only a few choices. Before she could answer, however, JJ had an opinion of her own.

"I hate to say it," She said, "But... maybe we need to give up for awhile. Obviously Reid doesn't want to be found. Emily said it herself, he doesn't know us, he doesn't care about us the way he used to. He could be hiding just to make a point and doesn't care if we're."

"No!" Emily cried, scowling at JJ. "Reid wouldn't do that. He wouldn't hide like he's some little kid who wants to run away from home. He went somewhere specific and maybe, no, he doesn't want to be found. But he wouldn't purposely make it hard for us. You're right, he doesn't remember his friends, he doesn't realize how much we care about him. Which means he doesn't think we're out there searching for him."

She paused to catch her breath. No one dared interrupt the silence as Emily closed her eyes, resting her head on one hand as she thought. She tried to think what places would be special to Reid. He wasn't his old self, so what place meant a lot to him since he came home?

"I have an idea where he might have gone." Emily muttered, glancing at the every member of the team. She never planned to reveal this to them. It had been her secret place forever and wasn't prepared to let the rest of the world in. But it seemed the most obvious place.

"After Reid's first doctor's appointment... I... took him somewhere." She explained as vaguely as possible.

"Where?" Morgan questioned.

"Just a place I visit." She muttered, getting to her feet. "It's about twenty minutes away, but it's not unlikely he went there. I'll go and check it out... Dave, maybe you could come with me?"

"Sure," He agreed before anyone could protest or ask more questions. "Grab your coat, we'll take my car."

As Emily hurried out, Rossi glanced at Hotch. The unit chief nodded with approval. He knew Emily didn't like appearing vulnerable in front of anyone, even her closest friends. He also knew she had a special connection with Rossi, he was the best option to stay with her and maybe, they'd get some results.

"What about the rest of us?" JJ wondered.

"JJ and Garcia will head to the BAU and start searching the system for a sighting of Reid. Try stores or markets, anything with a security camera. They might have caught a glimpse of him. Morgan and I are going to check local hospitals, it's possible he was injured somehow and was taken in. He doesn't have an ID, it's possible he's a John Doe somewhere."

"God, I hope not," Emily called as she returned to the living room. She was pulling on her jacket, fixing her hair from being caught behind the collar. "Call me the minute you find anything."

"Ditto," Garcia said, though wasn't sure she heard as she and Rossi hurried to the front door, leaving the group behind.

They'd rushed out of the house so quick, Rossi almost forgot his keys from the side table in the front room. He followed Emily to his car, unlocking the door for her. Like lightening, she wrenched it open, climbing into the seat.

"So where are we going?" Rossi wondered, buckling his seatbelt.

Emily did the same, tightening the strap rather tightly. "A place I sometimes go... the ice wrink on Bernard Street... downtown.

* * *

><p>Almost a half an hour later, Rossi and Emily arrived. For a Saturday night, the place had its usual scene. Adolescents and twenty somethings littered the ice and the glowing colored lights brightened the space. It was loud and exciting, each person gliding to the music. This was the specific reason Emily never came here on Saturdays. Much too busy for her liking.<p>

"You really think he'll be here?" Rossi wondered as they stood at the very top of the bleachers.

"I don't know..." She shook her head. "But if he wanted to disappear for awhile, to think things over... this place would attract him. It's special."

He was curious. "How so?"

Reluctantly, she said slowly, "This is where we had our first kiss... right there on the ice."

He couldn't deny, if he were someone in Reid's state, feeling hurt and betrayed by the woman he was in love with, having only a foggy idea of where he came from, this would be the ideal place to be. "You think he'll be skating?"

"No," She shook her head. "There's too many people around. He's not very good on skates, not like me. Not to mention, he really just wants to mull things over. He'll probably be sitting and watching the kids... somewhere in the stands."

"Over 500 seats," Rossi muttered. "Happy hunting, I guess."

They decided to split up. Rossi went to the left while Emily to the right. Thank goodness she was in such good shape, running up one side of the steps and then the other. Her eyes desperately scanned for one of the few souls in these seats to be him.

Most of the people sitting in the stands were couples wanting to be alone, holding hands or kissing without the prying eyes of adults. Emily ran past the people, unwavered by the bothered looks of the kids.

"Spencer!" She started calling after covering about half of her side. It wasn't too common a name, but specified she still specified herself. "Spencer Reid... Spencer Reid, are you here?"

No answer. She gasped as she spotted someone in the front row sitting alone. By the dim reddish light, his hair was about the right cut and color. He didn't have skates on, sitting with one leg folded on the other. He looked awfully relaxed in that seat, like he'd been there awhile and was thinking intently. At once, her feet charged down the steps towards him, hurrying through the row of plastic seats until she stood right behind him.

"Spencer," She exclaimed, putting her hand on his shoulder.

The young man turned and her smile faded as she spotted him. Similar build, yes, but certainly not him. "No, Brian." He corrected.

Emily had to control herself not to swear. "Sorry," She muttered, sliding out of the row to the other side.

"You looking for your kid, lady?" He called, concerned.

Emily turned around. "No, my..." She thought boyfriend might be the wrong thing to say. With a room filled with young adults, at least half of which had to be underaged, she quickly corrected herself. "My friend. You haven't seen him, have you? About thirty years old, light brown hair, really skinny."

He thought for a moment. "No... sorry."

Disappointed, she called, "Thank you," and turned and kept on her way.

All too soon, Emily completed her side. Exhausted she collapsed in a center seat right in front of the plexiglass. Rossi was making his way over as she stared at the swirling teens. "No sign of him." He informed.

She could already guess that, and again how to control herself not to lose her temper. Rossi took the chair beside her in order to catch his breath.

"I really thought he'd be here." She moaned, her eyes falling on her lap. "Where else could he be?"

"We're not thinking objectively." He informed. "We're thinking too much like Reid's friend and girlfriend. We're letting our emotions get in the way. We need to think like profilers."

That was easier said than down. What other places could he have gone that they and the team hadn't tought of?

"Okay, let's think," Rossi ordered. "A young man, almost thirty years old with Retrograde Amnesia. He has no real past and no descernible future. His memory is ever so slowly restoring... where would he think to go that's obvious but not so obvious at the same time."

Emily couldn't say, but the term struck something in her own mind. A memory that had happened not long after she'd joined the team, and had barely scratched the surface at what his amazing mind was capable of.

_Emily came into the unit on Monday morning. Another case would be handed out this morning, and her go bag was packed and ready, strung over her shoulder. Life at the BAU was quite an adjustment. She still wasn't used to being out of town all the time, so much so, she was feeling constantly jet lagged. That gave her social life a bit of a set back._

_Stepping into the bull pen, she set her bag in her chair. Across from her sat Reid at his desk. He hadn't even noticed Emily come in, or that anyone in the unit was around him. He was busy with a chess board, strategically moving each piece from square to square, his slender fingers holding each piece delicately._

_She watched him with interest for several minutes, positively entertained. "Are you playing chess with yourself?"_

_Startled, Reid looked up, spotting Emily for the first time. He always looked at her so strangely, like he was surprised she was brave enough to interact with him. She noticed Reid had a hard time speaking to her, and if they weren't working on a case, he didn't interact with her by choice. It wasn't that he was unkind to her, he was always friendly and polite... but she suspected Reid didn't like her. Perhaps blaming her for replacing his former teammate._

_"No," He at last replied. "I'm... trying a... new strategy."_

_"What is it?" She asked, going around to his side to see._

_He tensed slightly as she moved into her space. Still, he began to explain in his usual animated tone. "It's called Retrograde Analysis. It's a process in which you begin at checkmate and..." He shifted a bishop a few spaces forward. "...you move backwards..." He lifted a knight from the sidelines, moving another piece backward to place the knight back on the board, "...until you get back to the beginning."_

_Impressed, "Wow, I've never heard of that."_

_"Gideon taught it to me, unfailing in his efforts to teach me to think outside of the box, no doubt." He said with a small smile._

_"I'll have to try that myself sometime," Emily smiled at him and noticed how he took a hard swallow, trying to return it. "Thanks for showing me, Reid."_

_"No problem, Prentiss." He answered, his voice squeaking a bit. "Maybe, uh..." He trailed off, looking away from her eyes._

_"What?" She asked, curious._

_"I was just thinking..." He mumbled, shyly. "Since you like to play chess... maybe... you and I could play sometime."_

_Bewildered, Emily blinked for a minute. She was thrilled he wanted to spend time with her, to get to know her. Ever since their first case to Guantanamo Bay, Emily had been hoping she and Reid would become friends. He seemed like such an intriguing person._

_"You bet," She answered, delighted. "Catch me on the flight home, we'll play a game."_

_Reid smiled, "That would be great."_

_"I'm going to grab some coffee, can I get you any?" She wondered._

_"Yes, black with sugar, please." He replied._

_Taking his request, Emily made her way to the break room. She was very pleased, at last she was beginning to become a part of the team._

"We need to work backwards." Emily informed, taking Retrograde Analysis to a whole knew level. "We need to work from the point of when everything fell apart. Now, we know he's not in your neighborhood, we know he's not at my apartment. This would be the next possible place and he's not here."

"So what would be the next place?" Rossi wondered. "If it's something important to both of you because you first kissed here, what was less special than this that happened right before?"

It took less than a second for Emily to remember. "The bar." She informed. "The night we all went to the Steak Out. After you left... Reid and I had a slow dance on the floor."

Without a second thought, Rossi was on his feet. "Let's go," He commanded and Emily was just a step behind him.

* * *

><p>"Be careful," Reid heard a voice mutter as he started to wake. "His head is fragile, too much pressure and he's a goner."<p>

"I know that, Denny," Meadows growled angrily. The tone sent another shudder through him. It was just as he remembered. "I do know how to read an MRI scan, thank you."

"I'm sorry," His pathetic plea sparked a memory. It was the weak man, the follower that always did her bidding. What concerned him most was that he knew that voice from somewhere else, too... but where?

Things from the last few hours slowly started to become clear. He'd been in the car with Meadows. She wasn't saying much, just focusing on driving. Reid kept feeling for a lock or handle, ready and willing to throw himself from the car if the opportunity rose. They drove for a bit to a different part of town. The street wasn't deserted or frightening, mostly quiet. It looked so peaceful and pleasant. He was certain he'd been here many times before, but had no idea why. Meadows got out of the car and went to the passenger side before she let him out, unlocking the door with her keys. Reid began to climb out, prepared to take off as soon as both his feet were on solid ground... but just as his head emerged from inside, his mouth and nose were covered and he breathed in something sweet. Within seconds, he felt himself drift away and the ground fall out from under him.

And now he was here, being dragged. He jerked slightly, determined to wake up and attempt to fight back. He may have been out numbered, but he didn't care. He had to get away. His life was too important.

"Where..." The man heaved, pulling Reid's arms as he dragged him along the floor. Unlike in the warehouse, there was no dirt, no grain, nothing littering the floor. It was smooth and cool. "...do you... want him?"

"Oh for the love of God!" Meadows exclaimed, hurrying over to where she'd been. "You're so weak, you could at least attempt to be a man and get him tied before he wakes up."

With that, Reid felt himself lurch forward. Meadow's arms went around his torso and hauled him at a much faster pace. She expertly dragged him to their destination, taking a deep breath as she released him. "Help me get him up, I can feel his heart rate increasing, he's definitely starting to rise."

A moan came out in loo of words. He wanted to order these people to stop, but how could he when he had no control over his own body?

He was eased up and into a chair. Soon restraints were fastened to him. First his wrists and then his ankles. Reid's held fell forward with no strength to hold it up. The more he fought, the more groggy he felt. If he couldn't get his energy back, he'd never get through this.

"Are you going to get started?" The man asked with trepidation.

"No," she answered calmly. "This is too important. Just get everything ready, we don't have time to waste. I'll wait here until he comes out of it... I want him to be present through this. I want him to feel every last bit of pain."

It sickened him to hear the glee in Meadows voice as she said that. All Reid could think about was what he left behind. He longed to go back to the afternoon. If he could do it different, he'd run into Emily's arms, to declare how much he loved her, and never let her go... and now he feared he was never going to see her again.


	28. Dr Watson

This was definitely more Emily's scene on a Saturday night. The place was noisy and crowded, just the kind of environment someone could easily disappear in when they wanted to drown in their self misery. Stepping into the establishment, the first thing she thought of was making a beeline for the bar, ordering a stiff drink and getting comfortable on a stool for a long, lonely night.

Her eyes automatically flew to the opposite side of the bar. As drunk as she was, she'd never forget sitting there a year ago, side by side with Reid. She'd gone on and on about what a great guy he was, that he was a decent, kind gentleman who would treat a girl with love and respect. It was ridiculous how a woman could have just the right thing in front of her and still have a blind spot to him.

Rossi took the lead through the crowd, shifting and manuvering through the happy, carefree people. Emily was a step behind, following him to the bar. Several people ordering drinks blocked their way. They had to wait a long time for them to finally move to the side.

A familiar face met them at the bar. Joe, the bar tender, grinned as he spotted them. "Dave, haven't seen you in awhile..." His eyes looked Emily up and down, imagining her figure under her autumn coat. "And Emily Prentiss, gracing me at last with her presence after all this time. Miss me?"

Emily usually didn't mind Joe's innocent flirting, in fact she often encouraged it. It was a nice reminder she hadn't lost her allure with men. But tonight she wasn't in the mood. "Joe, we need to talk to you. Has Reid come in here tonight?"

"Reid?" He questioned, suddenly serious. "No, I haven't seen him in... God, I don't know how long. I heard he's been sick."

"He's getting better." Rossi informed. "But he got angry early this afternoon and took off, we haven't seen him since. You're certain he hasn't been in here?"

"I can't say I've seen everyone that came in here tonight." Joe answered, thinking. "But I'm pretty sure I'd see Reid. Awkward, twitchy nerds tend to stick out."

"Is that necessary?" Emily spat. She hadn't realized just how poorly everyone treated him, and just for being himself.

Joe had to laugh. "I'm sorry... you know I love to watch that kid try to pick up girls. It's like a Chevy Chase movie; you know something horrible is about to occur and you just have to let it happen."

There he had it wrong. Reid didn't try to pick up girls. He was nice to them, he talked to them, but he wasn't one to flirt and tease. That was something so unique about Reid. He didn't play games or manipulate a girl to take her home... he treated her like a person, wanting to get to know who she really was. He showed his real self and expected the same in return. Ironic. That's exactly what every girl wanted from a man, yet rejected anyone who came to them with that approach.

"Instead of insulting our friend, maybe you could help us find him." Emily snarled. She was trying to push down the urge to punch this guy in the face. "It's possible he's here and you just don't know it."

"Yeah, okay, I'll talk to the waitresses, ask if they've seen him. We'll keep an eye out." He stated.

"Thank you," Rossi spoke up before Emily could get upset that he wasn't trying to do more. "If you talk to him, please tell us to call. We're worried about him."

"Will do," He assured half heartedly.

Just as the two agents were about to take their leave, Joe spoke up, considering something. "You know, it's funny... you're not the first people to bring him up tonight."

Stunned, "What?"

"Someone else was asking about him?" Rossi questioned.

"No, but remember, I'm a bar tender. I pick up parts of conversations when people don't realize I'm listening." He said, rather pleased of his secret ability. "But, yeah, there was this woman sitting on the end there."

He pointed to the same corner Emily had been reminiscing about just a few minutes ago. "It was before the crowd picked up, she nursed a rum and coke for about an hour... and then this other guy came in. A little younger, but hey, whatever floats a person's boat."

She was liking Joe less and less right now. He continued his tale. "He mentioned something about... some function your whole team was meeting at today. I'm a little hurt I wasn't invited, but whatever... anyway, he said Reid... oh, I can't remember exactly, but he had left and... was kind of walking around... he settled over in the park."

"Which park?" Rossi demanded. Emily waited with stilled breath for the answer.

"I don't know, but she seemed very pleased by that. She paid quickly and hurried out, and gave an order to her boy toy to meet her in an hour. Don't know where. He left sometime after, that's when the crowd started to arrive."

None of this settled right with them. Emily looked to Rossi with great concern. These people... it couldn't be their unsubs. It just wasn't possible.

But in this job, they'd had enough experience to learn anything's possible.

A light bulb suddenly went on over Joe's head. "I just remembered..." and with that, he took off.

"Excuse me..." Emily cried, furious. She shook her head in disbelief at Rossi. "Was that the end of that story?"

Within a minute, Joe returned. In his hands was a yellow receipt. "She paid with a credit card."

They couldn't wish for a better clue. Rossi took the paper, reading the name. "Elizabeth Watson."

Her jaw dropping, she met Rossi's eyes. "As in Watson Shipping?"

In a New York minute, their search went from looking for Reid to looking for this Watson woman. Because they weren't going to find Reid now without her. Rossi turned to Joe, pocketing the receipt. "If either of those people come back in here," He fished out his card and handed it to the man. "You call us."

Joe took the card cautiously, like it would burn him. Even he could sense this was intense. "Sure."

Without another word, the two rushed out, pushing through the crowd as fast as possible. Outside, away from the noise, Rossi was on his phone in a flash. They hurried to the car. They needed the whole team on this immediately. Wherever Reid was, he was in desperate need to be found.

* * *

><p>Reid wasn't sure when the fog lifted, but at last he was able to open his eyes and sit up. His mouth was so dry and sticky, leaving a nasty taste on his tongue. He longed for a glass of water.<p>

"Rise and shine, sleepy head." Meadows said pleasantly. She sat at the foot of the bed, her legs crossed like a proper lady. Her hands were folding a piece of white fabric over and over, like she were trying to keep her patience.

He found he was belted to a chair, his wrists and ankles immobile. They were incredibly tight; it wouldn't be long before his extremities fell asleep. He decided to ignore that for now, he took a look at his surroundings, observing the room he was in. It wasn't what he expected: a well furnished bedroom... perhaps a hotel, but it seemed awfully small.

"Where am I?" He asked, his voice was raspy from lack of fluid.

"Oh, that's not important." She smiled. "I can't tell you how relieved I am to have you back. I thought I'd lost you forever... and there's so much more we can do."

She was so determined and passionate, it made Reid shiver. Trying to sit up, he struggled against his restraints. His backside was falling asleep and was aching to get on his feet. "How long have you been following me? Did you come here all the way from Charlotesville?"

"I didn't intend to." She explained. "When Denny and I had to flee the warehouse, I was certain you'd die. But..." She sighed so happily, "you just further proved how perfect you were for this, surviving all that time. I knew I couldn't let you go. I had to try and get you back."

This was too unbelievable. Everything he had learned about this woman, however little it was, had been so real. She'd been kind, she'd been competent, she had a legitimate business... this didn't seem possible.

"Why are you doing this?" Reid asked. "Why did you kill those girls? Why... why do you want to kill me?"

Meadows hesitated a moment, looking somewhat sad. "Dr. Reid... I didn't want to kill those girls. I wish I didn't have to kill you. I don't enjoy taking a life from someone. After all, without life, my research would have no purpose."

"Research?" Reid shook his head. "What... what research? What could you possibly learn from this?"

"We're wasting time." She assured, getting to her feet. "We have so much to do. I'm sure you're friends are searching for you by now, though it will be ages before they realize we're here. By then, we'll be finished... and you will immortal."

Immortal... this woman was beyond delusional. Before Reid could say another word, Meadows got to her feet. The white fabric was grasp in one hand as she reached over and grabbed what looked like a neck tie beside her.

"I'll need you to be completely honest with me." She informed seriously... it felt like he was in another session, and any minute now she'd be easing him to sleep. He wished that were the case, but knew it would be too easy. "Trust me, I'll know if you're lying. And lies will only drag this out."

As Reid opened his mouth to question what this purpose was, Meadows shoved the tie into his mouth. It was stuffed to the back of his throat and he couldn't force it out, needing to breathe through his nose. With horrorified eyes, he looked to Meadows one more time as she quickly slipped the cloth over his head... a pillow case. It stifled the already dimmed light around him, leaving him in a stuffy darkness.

All he had to rely on were his ears. He listened for Meadows, but she didn't seem around him anymore. Suddenly, from the next room, he heard music begin to play and within seconds, it was turned to full blast. Classic... he wasn't sure who composed it nor who was playing... but he knew he liked it. In fact, it was one of his favorites.

"There," Meadows said, the music so loud, Reid could barely make her out. "That'll silence any moaning or crying we can't block out."

"You're sure he won't suffocate?" Denny called to her.

"Your job isn't to ask questions." She snapped. "Now, get him wet. I'm dying to get started.

He disliked her choice of words. Reid suddenly flinched as he was drenched with a splash of ice water. It soaked through his clothes down to his skin. Perhaps she was bored with the chains and acid as before, and instead turned to some kind of water torture.

But his thoughts were completely diminished as a forceful surge of shuddering pain went through his body. He cried and moaned into his gag, the water intensifying the electric charge. His insides felt like they were clawing to break out of his skin. He pulled and pushed at the straps starting to slice his flesh.

And there it was. She uttered that sickening laugh he knew all too well as he writhed in agony. The delight she found in this was putrid. Her joy was very short lived, however, moving to a new spot in order to shock him again.

* * *

><p>Emily and Rossi joined the others at the BAU. It was completely devoid of people, the other agents off for the weekend. The team gathered in the conference room, fresh coffee passed around to keep each member alert.<p>

"Garcia's still running her search on Elizabeth Watson." Hotch said immediately, not even bothering with pleasantries. "JJ's on the phone with the DCPD, maybe they'll spot Reid and this woman before she takes him into hiding."

"She's done this before, though, do you really think she's going to let herself be seen?" Rossi wondered.

"It's possible, she doesn't know the area." Morgan pointed out. "This is a completely different city and she came here in a hurry. She can't know the way the local law enforcement works that well."

Emily was considering all this, voicing her own opinion. "Her comfort zone was in Charlotesville. She has to be incredibly dedicated to uproot her killing zone to an entirely different city, and just for one person... what could be so important? Wouldn't it be safer and simpler to find a new victim? She could have gone through four or five others by now."

"Maybe she didn't know Reid got amnesia." Hotch suggested. "She's afraid he's going to talk, even if he was bond and blinded the whole time."

"Gather 'round, lords and ladies!" Garcia announced as she hurried in, JJ was in pursuit right behind her. All previous conversation came to an abrupt halt. "I have located our mystery woman."

"You're sure it's the right woman?" Rossi asked.

She gave a huff of disbelief. "The fact that you just asked that question just shows how little faith you all have in me. Yes, I'm sure it's the right woman. Elizabeth Watson, daughter of Jeffrey Watson, the founder of the shipping company where Reid and the other girls were tortured by our unsub."

"Is her father the partner?" Hotch asked.

"Or maybe its a brother." Morgan mentioned.

"Neither," Garcia corrected. "Our Dr. Watson is an only child, her mother died when she was four and her father died five years ago."

"Dr. Watson?" Emily repeated.

"To be sure." She said, "Watson was a psychiatrist back in Charlottesville, but lost her license a few years ago. Apparently, the medical board discovered several of her patients were turning up dead, one every few weeks."

Confused, "How is that possible?"

"When they investigated, they found she was running unnecessary experiments on most of her patients. A lot of them didn't take to them too well and when they died... she and her assistant would fake their deaths. Needless to say, they both were expelled from the medical profession. It coeincides with Daddy Watson's passing and at that, he left the shipping company to his little girl. It also explains why it started losing money. According to some tax reports, a lot of cash started to go missing, evidently leading to the financial troubles."

"She was probably stealing money to fund freelance experimentation." Rossi announced. "It may not have resulted in death right away, but eventually esculated when just the torture wasn't enough for her. Garcia, you should look into similar cases in the area where the victims were brutally tortured. Something like that can't go unnoticed."

"Will do, sir." She agreed.

"We don't have any leads on the partner yet, but I sent this picture to the police." JJ announced. Grabbing the controller, she commanded the big screen to bring up a picture. The screen turned blue and instantly the photo appeared. The team go the sight of the person they'd been searching for for two months.

The others looked at the picture with interest and disgust, seeing their unsub for the first time. Emily, however, felt her stomach drop out instantly as she saw. She practically shrieked as those familiar eyes bore into her, like she was physically looking at her now.

Everyone looked to Emily with surprise. Morgan looked to her with concern. "What is it, Prentiss, have you seen this woman before?"

Her trembling hand covered her mouth as she stared at that face. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be. It disgusted Emily to think she had sat beside this woman and let her put Reid through such torture... torture that she caused!

"Emily," JJ called, urgent to get her attention. "Have you seen her? Have you spoken to her?"

"That's..." She swallowed, her throat suddenly tight. "That's Willow Meadows... the hypnotherapist."

The same fear and alarm glowed in their eyes, lighting up one by one. Emily, a step ahead of them, felt her hysteria turn into anger. Her heart thumped so loud, it was making her ears bleed.

She looked from that horrible woman's face, piercing each one of her teammates with her furious eyes. "We wanted to know who hurt him, who was responsible for the hell he's in... all we did was hand him right back to the unsub."


	29. Two out of Three

Reid was feeling a lot of things. He was shivering and aching all over. After so many shocks from... whatever that device was, he was dizzy with nausea. He feared he was going to vomit, which would probably be fatal. The gag in his mouth would cause him to choke and he had no idea if either of his captors would try to save him.

"Let's take a break from the electroshock," Meadows said. "Get this stuff out of here."

Denny obeyed the order without question. Reid sensed him moving around him, quickly cleaning up whatever mess they'd made. In a second, the bag was whipped off his head, a rush of cool air spreading over his hot, sweaty face. He was grateful; the lack of sight was making everything worse.

To his delight, she pulled the gag out, too. He gasped, breathing with relief. He leaned his head on the back of the chair, closing his eyes.

"How do you feel right now?" Meadows asked, reclaiming her seat on the foot of the bed. Waiting on the pillows sat a legal pad and pen. Meadows at last grabbed it, waiting for his response.

All Reid wanted to do right now was breathe. He realized his hands and feet were completely numb now, but the only thing he could think about was his aching throat.

"Can I have some water?" He mumbled, sitting up to look at her with a pleading expression.

"No," she answered plainly. "Now, answer my question, how do you feel?"

She was not going to manipulate him like this. Reid may not be in much of a position to fight, but he wasn't just going to give her what she wanted. Silent, his eyes closed again and put his head down, dreading what would be coming next.

"Did you not hear me?" Meadows demanded to know, raising her voice. "I told you, this would be easier if you cooperate."

"Why should I?" Reid snapped, looking to her. His gaze was icy, hating this woman more than he'd ever had towards another living soul... he sensed he'd been in a similar situation like this before. Bound to a chair, hidden in some dark room... but even that man, that poor tormented young man... Reid hadn't hated him. He felt sorry for him... that was a different circumstance, though.

"Excuse me?" She asked in disbelief.

"You're just going to kill me anyway," Reid shrugged. "Unless I can convince you to let me go, I don't see any point to give you what you want."

Her teeth were gritted as she tried to remain calm. "I told you, Dr. Reid. This is for the good of science. Don't you realize what you're doing for the world? How will the future learn from this is you don't speak now? You may die here tonight, but your words will live forever."

He said nothing. Reid would not give into this woman. For a third time, he closed his eyes. He wished this was just another horrible recurring nightmare. And when he woke up, it would be morning and he'd be in Emily's arms. Oh, he missed her so much. The warmth of her embrace, her soft lips pressing against his temple, her long sensual fingers stroking through his hair... he was never going to feel that again. Perhaps he should consider it a blessing. For however short a time, he got to experience real love. But it didn't matter whether it was seven days or seventy years... no amount of time would have been enough with her.

Thinking of Emily made things easier. He would focus on her until this was over, though he did wish just one more time, he could tell her he loved her.

Meadows stood again, furious. "Fine, have it your way. It makes no difference to my progress, though I hope my anger doesn't fuel my work too much." She gave a despicable smile. "I was going to save this for later... but maybe we should bring in the acid now."

The acid. He hadn't remembered the acid until just this moment... the way it dripped on his skin, sizzling into his flesh. It made him feel like his muscles were slowly melting off... and now he'd have to experience it again.

It took some effort, but Meadows shoved the tie down his throat. Reid moaned and sputtered, trying to force it out, but it was too far. The pillow case was quickly pulled over his head once again. Reid sat in the darkness, waiting for his next round of suffering.

* * *

><p>"Did you ever have the feeling of Deja Vu?" JJ mentioned to Garcia as they sat in her lair. The young tech analyst typed feverishly into her computer, in hot pursuit of their elusive unsub while the team's media laision waited impatiently on her cell phone.<p>

"I can't believe this happened. Again." Garica muttered. She let out an annoyed sigh. "I can't believe this. It's like this woman disappeared off the face of the earth five years ago... and there's absolutely nothing on Willow Meadows."

"What about her hypnotherapy?" JJ asked. She'd been on hold for almost five minutes now.

"I've tried that, but like I said, nothing." She waved her hand to indicate the screen and its lack of results. "There's no advertisements, no articles, no bank statements or lease agreements, not even a warning from the Better Business Bureau... it's like the place doesn't exsist."

JJ considered that. "Maybe it doesn't."

"That's impossible." Garcia shook her head. "Em took him to his sessions, I know she was against it, but if she really sensed something was afoot, she would have brought it to our attention. She'd never put Reid in harms way."

"Exactly. If Meadows, Watson, whatever her name is, if her focus was catching Reid, she might have gone to any lengths to get him."

"Creating an elaborate business just to trap him?" She asked, skeptical.

Yes, it was a thin theory. It was unbelievably impractical to do such a thing, just to catch one man, but that didn't mean it couldn't happen. And if JJ could just get through on the phone, she might be able to find the answer to that.

Garcia had stopped typing, staring at her immobile fingers. "What do you think he's doing right now... Reid, I mean."

"Garcia..." JJ shook her head. "Please, I don't want to think about it."

"I can't help but think about it." She muttered. "I hate myself so much right now... Emily wanted to throw that woman's card away... I should have listened. I never should have brought it to the others."

"You can't blame yourself for this." JJ stated soothingly.

"I thought it was worth a try... that there was more than tests and pills to heal someone. I always try to hope there's some other cosmic force guiding us, protecting us, that there's more to life than just a pumping heart and firing synapses... but what's the point? If good people are just going to disappear, if everything is just random and nothing is bonding us all together... than what's the point of life? All everything is is hard science, isn't it."

"Garcia, I know you're upset but doesn't mean you question your entire existence." JJ assured. "Hypnotherapy may not have been the best decision... and let's face it, our intentions were a bit selfish... but this woman wanted Reid. She had a plan to get to him and if it hadn't worked, she would have made another one."

"That doesn't mean we had to gift wrap him for her." She snapped.

Once again, JJ took her post as the calm, caring maternal figure of the group, comforting Garcia with a pat on her shoulder. "Penelope... listen to me. You need to stay calm. Taking blame and jumping to conlusions does more evil than good. If we don't keep a level head... we're never going to bring Reid home- Yes, is Dr. Robbins available, I need to speak with him immediately."

At last, JJ had gotten through. She sat up, relieved to finally speak to someone. She listened for a moment and nodded. "Thank you, yes, I'll hold."

As she waited, JJ handled the device in her hands, pressing a few buttons. "Let me put it on speaker, he'll be on in a second."

Holding it up, the girls waited for someone to connect to them. In a few minutes they heard a voice. "Hello, this is Dr. Kevin Robbins."

"Dr. Robbins, this is Agent Jennifer Jareau with the FBI." She spoke loud and clear, wanting to get to the truth as fast as possible. "You remember our teammate Spencer Reid, correct?"

"How could I forget?" He asked pleasantly. "How is he doing? I haven't heard from Dr. Ashton since I gave him the case."

"He was doing better..." JJ muttered, unwilling to admit how things were at last looking up a few hours ago.

"Was?" He said, bothered.

"Well, that's why we need to speak to you, sir." She said. "Do you know a pschiatrist by the name of Dr. Elizabeth Watson?"

There was a long, expectant pause until a grim voice answered. "Why do you want to know about her?"

"Do you know her?" Garcia asked, interested.

"Who's that?" Robbins asked.

"That's our technical analyst, Penelope Garcia." JJ revealed. "We have a bit of a problem here. The truth is, Dr. Robbins, we believe the person who hurt Spencer is this Dr. Watson woman. Is she a colleague of yours? Possibly even a friend?"

"That woman is certainly not my friend!" Robbins cried, angry she would even suggest that. "And I'm pleased to say she is no longer my colleague. She lost her license some time ago and it is nothing but a blessing to the medical community."

"So you know about her history?" JJ caught Garcia's eye as she asked, both praying that he did.

"Oh, yes. Believe me, she's a detestible woman. The only thing nice I can say about her is that she would have made a great Nazi." He growled, disgusted to be using his valuable time talking about her.

"How do you know her?" Garcia asked.

Robbins replied at once. "I grew up with her. She lived two doors down from me and I've hated her since the day I met her. She's been a horrible person her whole life. So many kids in my neighborhood lost pets because of her."

JJ's eyes practically burst out of her head. "She killed your pets?"

"Oh, we never could prove it. She could always fool her parents that she was a perfect angel, that woman was always a master manipulator. But us kids knew. She holds grudges against people. You guys are the experts on deranged behavior, when my father confronted her on what happened to my sister's bike, do you really think it was a coinceidence our garage caught fire the next day?"

Pyromania and cruelty to animals; one more and they'd have the Trifecta. JJ shook her head, "We're getting off topic. We think she's taken Spencer again and we don't have much time to find her. Now, you turned his case over to Dr. Ashton, correct?"

"Yes, he's the best neurosurgeon I know." Robbins said sincerely.

"How does he know Dr. Watson?" Garcia wondered.

"He was our teacher in med school." He explained. "Later, when I was a surgical intern, he was my mentor, but he taught us both. I don't believe he's spoken to Watson in... at least ten years. They never got along."

"Then why would he suggest Reid see her for therapy?" JJ asked, more to Garcia than the doctor. "Even if he didn't know who she really was?"

"Therapy?" Robbins was confused. "She's not allowed to practice medicine."

"We know, she used a fake name." JJ explained. "Dr. Ashton suggested we start Reid with hypnotherapy."

There was a long pause on the other end. So long, the girls began to believe he'd hung up. "You must be mistaken."

"Ashton gave us her card and everything." Garcia revealed.

"No way," Robbins argued. "Ashton is a devout man of science. There's no way he'd advise someone in Spencer's condition to go to hypnosis, or any kind of hollistic medicine. Even if he'd done every tangilble test imaginable and still couldn't find the answer, he'd never turn to that alternative."

This was becoming more puzzling by the second. "Then why would he suggest it?"

Another pause. Robbin seemed to be considering something. "Why don't you let me call Dr. Ashton, maybe we can clear this up. Can I reach you on this number?"

"Absolutely," JJ answered. "We'll be waiting for your call."

"Alright, I'll be as fast as possible." He answered, and with that, the line went dead. JJ closed her phone. She folded her arms, lost in thought.

"If he doesn't believe in hollistic healing, why would he bring it up?" Garcia asked, as if JJ already knew the answer.

"Look back through Watson's history." JJ said. "I wonder if perhaps we're missing something - or someone - and the answer's right in front of us."

Garcia set to work, going back through their unsub's life. JJ tried not to watch, knowing how much her friend hated someone reading over her shoulder. But it was hard when all she could do at the moment was wait.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the others deliberated where Reid was at the moment. The shipping warehouse was ruled out immediately. No way would their unsub risk going there again. They could only determine it was somewhere close, obscure to the main public, and ensure they wouldn't be interrupted.<p>

Emily had the sensation spiders had hatched in her stomach, their hairy legs creeping along the sides. The more she tried to concentrate, the less she could think. The only thought in her head was what Reid was enduring right now. It was almost like the last two months never happened, that their entire blossoming love affair had been one night's dream, and indeed they had never stopped searching for him.

She hadn't even realized the others had stepped out for a breathier. It was when Morgan set a cup of coffee in front of her did she look up, meeting his gaze with frightened eyes.

"I realize you hate us right now and you have every right to." He said softly, "But... I thought you could use some coffee."

Emily looked away. She did not want coffee right now, but perhaps it would help her concentrate better. With a shaking hand, she picked up the porcelian handle and lifted it, taking a sip.

"It's good," She mumbled, setting it back down. Morgan sat beside her and she sunk deeper into her chair. "And I don't hate you."

"You should." Morgan said. "I had no problem blaming you when it was in no way your fault. If we had listened to you, Reid wouldn't have stormed out today and we might have caught this bitch before she ever got close to him."

Although she knew he was absolutely right, Emily was not someone who liked to place blame. She shook her head, wanting him to just drop the subject.

Instead, Morgan continued. "You were the one who had Reid's best interest at heart. Just like you always do... it's no wonder the two of you make such a great couple."

Looking up with glistening eyes, she replied, "Suddenly you're supportive? The situation must be graver than I thought."

"Yeah, okay, I've been kind of a jerk about that." He replied, and his bashfulness brought the smallest of smiles to her face. "Maybe this isn't the best time to talk about this, but... how has that been going?"

That was hard for her to answer. She could literally spout on for hours about how amazing this was, and were things less solemn, she would have. Instead all she could do was look at him, willing her fading strength to keep her from crying.

"He loves me." She whispered. "He told me he loves me... no man's ever said that to me without wanting something in return. And I know, you might be wary because he's sick... I probably would be too if my friend was in something like this. But I know... I know it's really him..." Emily looked up with confusion, wishing Morgan had the answer. "How come I never saw how wonderful he was before?"

Morgan did not have an answer for that. A quick look out the open door told him the others were returning. Their discussion would have to wait for now.

"Guys," Hotch announced as the rest quickly filed in. "We have some new evidence."

"Oh, God," Emily muttered. Her whole body felt very cold. Morgan saw the color drain from her face, turning her skin to a sickly ashen.

Grabbing the controller, JJ brought up a picture on the screen. It was the imagine of an older man with dark blonde hair mixing with gray. He looked very wise and experienced in his field. And, judging by the lab coat, he was in medicine.

"Who's this?" Morgan asked. "The partner?"

"No," JJ announced. "This is Dr. Victor Ashton, the neurosurgeon Robbins assigned Reid's case when he returned to DC."

Emily wasn't sure if perhaps she just wasn't paying enough attention. She shook her head, "No... that can't be right. Reid's doctor is much younger than that."

"We just got off the phone with Robbins who just spoke to his mentor, Dr. Ashton." Garcia said very bitterly. "Ashton was very confused. He explained that shortly after Robbins asked him to take this particular case, he sent a message saying Reid had died and his medical care was no longer required."

Staring at the screen, Emily was going from confused to agitated. "Then who the hell is the doctor that's been seeing us the last month?"

"Garcia did another search and identified... this man." As JJ spoke, she brought up another person whom Emily knew immediately. She looked over and met Garcia's saddened eyes.

"Is it his son?" She wondered.

"They've never even met." Garcia grumbled. "Ashton only knew him through hearsay. A failed medical student who later became Watson's prodigy."

"According to the police report, this man named Denis Humford became a medical assistant in Watson's practice and aided her in her experiments." Hotch revealed.

"He's a classic follower." Rossi added. "He was sentenced to six months in juvenile hall and ended up serving four years because of the crowd he fell in with. He's weak and needs the protection of the biggest bully on the playground to feel safe. He needs Watson just to feel he has a purpose in life, and he's been with her so long, if they're separated, he'll probably be suicidal."

"He'll do anything and everything she asks." Hotch finished.

"So she must have stolen Reid's case from Robbins when he sent it the real Ashton, got news to him Reid was dead, and had Humford play the part to earn our trust." Emily said.

"Plus, whether or not he took the bait and went to Watson for treatment, the partner was still able to watch him." Agreed Morgan. "But how did he get employed with the clinic in the first place?"

Rossi answered,"I'm going in the morning with a few detectives to get the clinic's records. Odds are Watson either faked the records or there's a third party who got him employeed there without the proper credentials."

"Either way, it's no help to us right now." Hotch stated. "It doesn't explain where the two are hiding Reid. It can't be at the clinic or any local hospital, it's public properties. They'd never be able to hide."

"What about the space they rented as Meadows' office?" JJ suggested.

"That's an hour away." Morgan retorted. "Besides, if the cops got curious, she couldn't risk having her equipment and incriminating evidence there."

"It's amazing the lengths she went to make her scheme believeable." Emily responded. "She had a receptionist and everything, that's real dedication."

Hotch suddenly looked up, curious. "A receptionist... do you remember her name?"

"I never asked." Emily admitted. "I was kind of annoyed when I brought Reid to his sessions... but she seemed very nice. I know people are deceiving, but I can't see her being involved in this.

"If she's not, Watson had to have her on some kind of payroll." Garcia announced. "Everyone leaves a paper trail, I love it. Give me fifteen minutes, I'll find everything on her including her preferred brand of tampons."

"TMI, Baby Girl. Just get us her name and address, Prentiss and I will bring her in for questioning." Morgan said.

"If she's not involved, Morgan, do you really think we'll learn anything from her?" JJ questioned.

"She might not know anything," Hotch said, "But then again, she might be our only hope to find him. If this is the only outsider Watson trusted enough to get involved, even to a small degree, she could have let her guard down. Watson could have said or done one small thing that unveils her entire plan... we've seen it happen before."

Emily shook her head. "Somehow I doubt we'll get that lucky." And with that, her face fell into her hands again, feeling like this entire search was futile. She was certain they had already failed.


	30. Apartment 7B

Finding Watson's records wasn't easy. She seemed well prepared in the event law enforcement were to look into her histories, keeping them well hidden. Even Garcia had to admit, her work was a bit cut out for her this time.

After an hour and a half, she was starting to get frustrated. Typing feverishly through her system, it was beginning to feel like the more she searched, the more hidden the truth became.

A knock on her door roused her from deep thought. "Uh... come in." She called, continuing her search. The words were starting to blend together.

Morgan opened the door softly. It bothered him she didn't give typical greeting. She was under a lot of stress, though, and he didn't want to push her "Hey, Baby Girl, how are you doing?"

"How am I doing?" She grumbled as more useless results appeared on the screen. She seemed to be getting a lot of results for Elizabeth Watson from Long Island, New York, a house wife who had way too much credit card debt, but that was it. "Let's see, my fingers are cramping up along with this migraine building in my head thanks to the fact that I'm getting absolutely nothing useful from my smorgasbord of information. Of course, I'm sure it pales in comparison to what our poor boy is going through right now." Garcia glanced over her shoulder with a glare. "And if some certain profilers would just leave me alone, I might be able to find some answers and bring him home!"

"Hey, okay!" Morgan said, hurrying over. He set the cup of coffee he brought her on some papers and gently patted her back. "Garcia, sweetheart, you've got to calm down. You're not going to help Reid if you suffer a mental break down."

She let out a sigh. "I know... I'm just so irritated. Who knows what that-" She resisted the urge to use a vulgar term that represented the female anatomy by taking a deep breath. "-that _woman_ is doing to Reid. He's probably in agony, just desperate for us to find him..."

"You need to take a break." Morgan assured, taking the empty seat JJ had been occupying before. Now she was on the phone with the authorities, trying to get as much information as possible, though she was having even less luck than their talented tech.

Garcia shook her head. Her strength was running low; she didn't want to fight anymore. All she wanted to do was keep working until she found tangible results. "I can't take a break. That's not fair to Reid."

"You're not doing Reid any favors by killing yourself." He stated, looking to the screen. It was jumbled with all kinds of information, and even he could see none of it was good. "Just step back for ten minutes, clear you mind. You might be able to think more rationally if you just shut down for a moment."

He had a point, she knew. Her mind didn't want to stop, but her body was in charge now and sat back in her chair, exhausted. Her head was pounding like a tom tom. She cracked her knuckles to flex and ease the stiffness in her fingers.

"You know that's bad for you." Morgan teased with a small smile. It was sweet, but there was a strong trace of sadness in it, just as worried as the others, if not more.

"No, it's not." Garcia corrected. "Gas bubbles build up in the joints of your fingers, when you crack your knuckles, that popping sound is the bubbles bursting. It does absolutely no damage to the finger."

That was odd. "Where did you learn that?"

She scowled at him. "Take a wild guess."

He felt stupid for asking, as he so often did when Reid spouted information. "That must have been awhile ago."

"Yeah, about four months before his... accident." She could feel tears in her eyes, wanted to lash out to someone. That Watson better hope she never encountered Penelope Garcia, because she would scratch that psycho's eyes right out.

Her anger was boiling to the surface, spewing out of her mouth like vomit. "This is isn't fair! I was actually happy this morning... I thought we were finally going to get our boy back. After all this time of patience and teaching, I thought he had finally heard our voices. He heard us in the dark and he was starting to come home... and now he's just taken away again! Who knows what kind of state he's going to be in when we get him back!"

"Relax, Baby Girl," Morgan reached over and picked up the cup. "You're the one who's always telling us to have hope. If you give up now, where does that lead the rest of us? Drink some coffee, build up your strength, you can't lose faith yet. Reid certainly wouldn't. Wherever he is now, whatever he's going through, you can bet he's going to fight for his life the entire way. Even if that just means staying awake. Because even if he doesn't remember, he knows there's always a chance he'll survive. It's happened to him just like it's happened to us. Remember when you were shot? Remember when Foyet knocked me through that window? And later when Foyet stabbed Hotch? I could go on and on. We're the strongest people in the world... and Reid is the strongest of them all. He has to be to have made it this far in his life."

Garcia grimaced at her own weakness. Her hands clamped around the warmth of her cup. Now that she thought about it, she could use a little extra boost. Taking a careful sip, she glanced over to where Morgan had set the cup earlier. Again, she scowled.

She reached for the piece of paper. "You know, I have rules in this office for a reason."

"What are you babbling about?" Morgan asked.

Garcia turned the page of the show him. The cup had left a brown ring on the sheet, staining the white paper forever. "Sorry," He muttered. It had been the last thing on his mind, but though Garcia wasn't always the most organized, she did like her office clean.

She gave him a slight glare and looked at the paper again. "Just be glad it wasn't something official."

"What is it?" He wondered, curious.

"Just the page of a short story I'm reading. A girl in my support group wrote it about her sister. She's actually a really good writer... oh... oh sweet Moses."

Now Morgan was really confused. "What's wrong?"

"'...when you feel completely lost, the ones you love will always help you find the way...'" She uttered, and looked up to her friend. He looked thoroughly lost and Garcia handed him the sheet to read. "It's inside the ring of coffee."

"Okay..." He mumbled. "What... you think it's some kind of message?"

Garcia gave a playful roll of her eyes. Her spirted, effervescent self seemed to be blossoming. She always said everything happens for a reason. "No, but I do know it's given me an idea."

Curious, Morgan stood, leaning over her shoulder to see what she was typing. "What? You on to something?"

"Firstly, personal space, my chocolate bunny." She grumbled, giving him a light shrug. "And secondly, I realize if I'm not having many results with Dr. Watson herself, perhaps I should go through the object of her affection. If I can connect someone in Reid's life, perhaps someone who's not too obvious to him or us, maybe that will connect us back to her."

"Makes sense," Morgan agreed, sitting again. "She wouldn't be able to get to Reid through any of us, she'd have to choose someone who didn't have a huge impact on him... but who?"

"Patience is a virtue, my fine feathered friend." She bit he lip and flashed a flirtatious grin. "And I do mean 'fine'."

Morgan smiled, leaning back in his chair to wait. Hopefully, Garcia was right, and they'd be swimming in useful results in a short matter of time.

* * *

><p>He started using the gag in his mouth to his advantage. Instead of trying to scream into the fabric, he decided to bite down instead. It didn't lessen the pain, but it helped him deal with it better.<p>

Reid felt like his skin was being forcebly turned into liquid. Meadows was only dripping one or two drops at a time, loving the sight. He could hear he laughter again as she watched him, struggling against the straps, fighting to keep from screaming. She took great joy in seeing him completely at her mercy, mercy she had no intention of offering.

"Shoot," She mumbled, as if she'd just spilled a glass a milk. "I got some on the wood. That shouldn't leak through, right?"

"Not if it's one drop," Denny whined, sounding worried. "But even if we manage to get the body out of here, they're going to find the evidence when they clean out this place. They'll realize we were here."

"Who cares!" Meadows cried. "By then we'll be long gone. I'll publish my work in my real name, they'll never know it's us."

"Our work, you mean." He corrected. "You promised I'd get credit."

"Yes, yes. Dr. Elizabeth Watson with Denis Humford." She grumbled. She was much too eager to get back to work, not wanting to discuss future events at the moment.

"_Doctor_ Denis Humford." He insisted.

Her voice came out in a snarl. "If you don't shut up, I'm going to make you my next subject. Now go turn up the music."

"Why?" He questioned. "The neighbors will get upset."

"I don't care." She insisted, and with that removed the pillow case again. "I have to hear him scream."

Reid's eyes looked up to his captor, and hated the sight in her eyes. He reminded her of Emily last night. She had that same predatory look, but instead of making love, she longed to put him through further torture.

Meadows quickly went to yank the gag out, but Reid wouldn't give her what she wanted. He could put up a fight, even if he was bound to a chair. His teeth clamped down on the tie, soaked with his saliva by now. Her happiness faded as she became annoyed, tugging on the fabric.

"Why do you have to make things difficult?" She grumbled, pulling with both hands.

He glared at her. He couldn't do much, he couldn't say anything right now. But with his glances he could tell her she would not get away with this. He was going to fight her, he wasn't going to give her what she wanted. And when he was finally dead, she wasn't going to escape. The others would find her... his friends... the friends that had cared so much about him, they were going to track her down and make her pay.

He bit down harder, thinking about all those people. Emily was one thing, he liked her from the beginning, but the others... he felt so guilty. They were more than just nice people. They genuinely cared about him. Maybe they didn't handle this as well as they should, but their intentions were good. Only true friends would stick by his side through all this... and, if they knew he was missing - God, he hoped they knew by now - they were out there searching for him. They wouldn't find him, they couldn't possibly know where he was... but they were looking. And they would punish this woman. For his death and all the others.

It felt like his teeth were going to be ripped from his gums. At last, with a loud, exasperated grunt, Meadows yanked the tie from the clasp of his teeth. Reid panted, having forgotten to breathe during the entire tug of war, staring at her with cold, hateful eyes.

"You're a tiger, aren't you?" She muttered. He almost believed she was impressed. "No wonder Emily loves you so much."

Reid didn't want to talk about Emily. She was for him and he wouldn't let Meadows infiltrate that perfect world they had created. He wanted to take that to his grave.

"You know, Denis and I were planning on taking off after this... heading cross country, you understand." She stated. "But perhaps I should stick around... Emily would prove a great subject."

He struggled so forcefully against the chair, it almost toppled over her. "Don't! Don't you dare touch her!"

"Now, I wouldn't do that." She shook her head. "Thanks to you, I have all I need on the physical... but mental... I haven't even thought of scratching that surface yet. I wonder how the tough, poker-faced Emily Prentiss will react to losing the only man she's ever loved."

"How do you know I'm the only man she's ever loved?" Reid wondered. He wasn't even certain of that.

"We don't all need to be profilers to see how one person feels for another." Meadows insisted. "How does that make you feel? Thinking of Emily in torment over losing you? And to think, I won't even have to kill her when I'm done." She pretended to grimace. "Though, I'm not so sure her sanity will be fully intact."

He struggled in his chair. The legs bounced and scratched on the wood floor, matching the acid burn beside him. Truthfully, he could barely feel the pain and tenderness on his skin anymore, much too concerned about Emily.

The music at last resonated louder, and Reid had to strain his ears to hear Meadows next statement. "We're wasting time. It's almost midnight... and I need to be finished by dawn."

She didn't bother putthing the pillow case back on. Reid watched her as she grabbed a belt from the bed. Oh, that bed looked so comfortable. He wanted to curl up in it and go to sleep... in fact, he was certain he would find it exceptionally comfortable.

But his thoughts failed him as he felt the lash of the whip on his body. With nothing to bite down on, it was harder to resist crying out. He tried to grit his teeth, but it gave no relief and before the tenth strike, he let out an agonizing moan. He closed his eyes and tried to think about Emily, which was becoming harder and harder the longer the night went on.

* * *

><p>With trembling hands, Emily went to another cup of coffee. It was the only thing she could do to occupy her time. She felt so useless, wanted to jump into a car and drive around searching for Reid. But that would do no good. He wouldn't be out in the open, and without some kind of clue, she had no idea where to look for him. All she could do was wait. Waiting felt like as bad a torture as what Reid could be enduring.<p>

"Hey," JJ said as she stepped in. It startled Emily so bad, the filled mug fell from her shaking hands and crashed on the floor. It shattered into a thousand pieces, littering the tile in a circular design, the coffee and cream flooding around it. She stood still, annoyed for a moment at her own clumsiness.

"Sorry," JJ muttered, hurrying over to start cleaning up the mess. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Emily knelt down, too, careful of the shards of glass as she picked up each piece. "I'm just... on edge. I'm so worried about Reid."

"We all are," JJ said, affirming her friend that she wasn't alone. "We all care about Reid... some of us more than others, I'm sure, but... we all care about Reid."

Curious, and a bit offended, Emily looked up, a handful of procelain in her hand. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"Come on, Em, you think we haven't seen the way you look at him lately?" JJ said. Her voice was gentle, not wanting to sound accusing. "You think we don't notice the way you daydream when you're by yourself? You have feelings for him."

She couldn't know. JJ could not have learned what was going on between them. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Emily, I'm not saying your feelings aren't genuine, I'm sure they are, but... I think you just didn't realize you could care about him until he was gone. That's why you've been so helpful and protective of him... you want your friend because you're falling in love with him."

JJ was immobile, waiting for Emily's response. She didn't know the truth, and therefore, Emily was not about to reveal it. "I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in love with him... I just miss my friend."

Emily could tell she didn't quite believe her. "If it helps, I think you and Reid would be good together. You have a lot in common, but you also counterbalance each other out. You'd be such a great couple."

It was nice to know she'd have JJ's support in this, were she to know. And if she did, that probably meant she had Garcia's, too. Hotch was another story, but he supported his team. He would do almost anything to keep all of them together, and he wanted all of them to be happy. At least her friends would be on their side when they got Reid back... if they got Reid back.

"How long have you guys been discussing this?" Emily wondered, never failing to deflect from her real feelings.

"You think we didn't see you dancing that night?" She said with a smile. "It was kind of a surprise, but... I've got to say, it didn't look unnatural."

She was about to smile as well, but Emily let out a grimace before crying, "Damnit!" She opened her hand, forgetting she had been clutching the broken glass. It had started to cut into her palm, a little blood trickling onto the white shards.

"Oh," JJ said, tossing her gathering away. All that was left was a few tiny specks in the coffee. That could only be collected via broom and dustpan. "Let's get that cleaned up."

Tossing her own bunch, she followed Emily to the sink to wash the blood away. As the water went over her hand, she looked up to see both Morgan and Garcia hurrying in their direction.

"Emily!" Garcia cried, practically running through the unit.

"What?" She asked, turning to face her, not even caring she was letting water and blood drip on the tile now.

Quickly, she lifted a printed out picture of a young girl with a bright smile. She looked no older than a college student. "Does this girl look familiar?"

It took a moment to register, but if that wavy hair was in a ponytail, it would be a perfect match. She smiled. "That's her."

"Her name is Lana Press." Garcia announced. "She's Watson's secretary at her office."

"Great," Emily said with a relieved expression. At least they had something to go on now. "We should question her, where does she live?"

"137 Mellark Avenue... Apartment 7B." Morgan stated with a stern voice.

In an instant, both girls became identically shocked. "You're kidding." JJ cried.

"Nope," Morgan mumbled, trying to keep his temper down. "We checked it three times, Apartment 7B... only three floors above from Reid's."

* * *

><p>AN: I am so sorry this took so long to post. I don't have a good excuse this time, only that I started The Hunger Games the other day and I just couldn't put it down. It's so good, I recommend everyone read it!


	31. Lean on Me

_"Make a left up here," Reid muttered. It was amazing. He'd barely looked out the window once since they'd gotten into the car and yet he knew the way perfectly._

_She had never been to Reid's home before. Always such a private person, Reid treated his home like a sanctuary. A safe place where the horrors of the world didn't get to infiltrate. She could only imagine what his natural habitat might look like and was both interested and frightened to see it._

_Not that she expected to be invited in, but Emily knew Reid was torturing himself over what had happened. Even though she took his hands on the jet and made him realize everything had been her decision, she could see it in the glow of his hazel eyes, the guilt he had over this and would carry for a long time._

_The turned the corner onto Mellark Avenue. Finally, Reid looked up. "The second building from the corner." He indicated._

_"Such a nice neighborhood." Emily mentioned. It was a pleasant street. Most of it was occupied by houses, but a few small apartment complexes sat on the corners. The sidewalk alternated between maple trees and lamp posts. With the beginning of fall upon them, the leaves had begun to change color. A few early bloomers had fallen and littered the streets and gutter. She imagined it looked so festive during the holidays, especially Halloween. Perhaps that was why Reid chose this as his home._

_Emily got a perfect space right outside of his building. He looked at her with surprise as she stopped the car, but he didn't say anything. Both of them climbed out and Emily went to the trunk to fetch his shoulder bag._

_"Emily," He whined as he hurried over. "You have a broken rib, you shouldn't be carrying that."_

_He was absolutely right. Reid's shoulder bag felt like it was weighed down with rocks; how did someone of his build manage to carry that on a regular basis? Quickly, he took the load from her, easily swinging it over her chest as if it were filled with feathers._

_"Thanks for the ride home." Reid said simply._

_"No problem," She smiled and noticed how Reid's eyes darted away again. "I wasn't in much of a mood to go out with the others, anyway."_

_"Me neither," Reid agreed. They were standing awkwardly. The height difference between them increased a few inches as he stood on the curb and she in the street._

_There were a thousand things she wanted to say, and a thousand more she wanted to hear. They had been through so much these last few days, just her and him. They now shared a connection the others could never penetrate. Emily wanted to make sure things were okay between them. Always._

_She was just about to excuse herself when Reid squeaked, "Emily, would you like to come up for coffee?"_

_Coffee, no. When Emily got home, she wanted to go straight to bed, the caffeine would make her toss and turn for hours. But she just wasn't ready to say farewell to Reid. Maybe in some silly, irrational way, she thought if they separated, they'd never see each other again... just like before._

_She smiled, "I'd love some coffee."_

_Reid pulled out his keys and lead Emily to the porch. He easily unlocked the front door and entered the hall. The first thing he did was check his mail box. It was almost overflowing with envelopes and papers. She hurried forward to catch the topmost pieces before they crashed to the floor._

_"Thanks," Reid mumbled, taking the extra mail. It broke her heart that he couldn't even look at her._

_The building had no elevator, so the three made a trek up the staircase. The first floor wasn't so bad for her, but halfway up the second, Emily was panting. The pain of her fractured bone made every breath agony. Reid hadn't considered that when he invited her, stopping their journey halfway to the next landing._

_"Are you alright?" He asked, looking to her with worry._

_"Yea... yes..." She tried to heave out. "How much further?"_

_"We're almost half way there." He explained. "I live on the fourth floor."_

_Just hearing that made the pain worse. "I... I just need a minute. How about I meet you up there?"_

_Reid wasn't about to leave her alone. Setting his mail aside, he tossed his bag off to get more mobility. One hand landed in the small of her back with the other on her arm. "Let's take a rest, come on, sit down."_

_She concentrated on breathing as Reid guided her onto the step. Sitting made each inhale and exhale a little more bearable. She hadn't been this exhausted since her first week of academy training._

_"I'm sorry..." Her wheezing was getting lighter now. "I guess I'm not as okay as I thought."_

_She prepared herself for the usual reply of Dr. Reid. Some statistic on the average amount of oxygen a woman her age inhales a minute, or perhaps the healing time of a injured rib. There was nothing, however. Just silence. When enough of it had passed, Emily turned to her friend._

_Reid had his eyes closed, as if he were trying to pretend this was just a dream. "I'm sorry, Emily."_

_"Reid, I told you this is not your fault!" Emily cried. Her voice bounced off the winding stairwell, echoing and distorting off the walls._

_"Your right, it's your fault!" He answered. The hurt and anguish in his voice made her want to cry. "Emily, why did you do that? He thought the agent was me. If you had just kept your mouth shut, he wouldn't have touched you. This wouldn't have-"_

_"He had a gun to your head!" Emily cried. "He wouldn't have beaten you, he would have killed you. He was prepared to pull that trigger."_

_"And how could you be sure he wasn't going to do that you?" He asked._

_Emily hesitated. She let out a slow sigh and shook her head. "I didn't... but that's not the point. Do you know how I felt, seeing him put that gun in front of you? I thought I was about to lose you. So, no, I didn't know. I didn't think... I just had to save you."_

_He was not satisfied by that. "I should have protected you. I should have fought to get to you... I should have been the one to pay and suffer, not you..."_

_"I'm a big girl, Reid." She said with the hint of a smile. She noticed his eyes travel up to the bruise on the apple of her cheek. "This is who you are. You protect the ones who can't protect themselves, and I love that about you, but I meant what I said before. I made the decision on my own. And I would do it again. If it meant I got to save my friend, I would do it a thousand times."_

_"Please don't," Reid replied, and she was happy to see a small smile on his face. "Once is enough, I can't bare to see you like this again._

_She let out a laugh, sending another sharp pain through her chest. Emily ignored it. "I said it's not as bad as it looks. And judging by your expression, I imagine it I look pretty hideous."_

_"No," He assured. "You look beautiful, as always."_

_She grinned at that. Reid was always so sweet. Turning, she pulled Reid into a warm hug, holding him close. Just the feel of him smelling her hair made her feel safe and at home at last._

_"You know," Reid said as they pulled away. He met her eyes with a smile. "It's kind of late. If you can manage to get up the next two floors, you could stay with me for a few days."_

_"Oh, Reid, I couldn't impose." She shook her head._

_"Emily, you're injured." He indicated sternly. "It's going to be hard to get around while you're injured, you should have someone to look after you. Please, it's the least I can do."_

_She had to admit, it might be nice to have someone taking care of her for a change. At the very least, she'd have someone to talk to. "I may need another break on the third floor."_

_Reid stood, quickly gathering his things. He slipped all his mail into his bag before throwing it back over his shoulder. Ready now, he offered his hands to Emily._

_"Lean on me, I'll get you there the rest of the way." He said with a smile._

_She returned it, grasping his hands and gently getting to her feet. Reid put one arm around her waist, guiding her up the stairs. Relying on his strength made the climb much easier._

_"You're a lot stronger than you look, Dr. Reid. What with me and that monstrous bag. What do you have in there, anyway?"_

_He was confused for a moment, unsure why she'd even ask that. "Books, what do you think?"_

Emily pulled herself out of her daze as they walked the rest of the distance down the sidewalk. She spotted Reid's building, looking just is had two years ago, the one and only time she'd been to his home.

She and Morgan had taken off to question Reid's neighbor, Lana Press. Garcia set out to keep searching through Watson's financial records as well as her sidekick, Denis Humford. Hotch and Rossi were assisting JJ in speaking with all the local members of law enforcement, doing searches and investigations on Watson's home and business. So far, everything had turned up empty.

It was after 10 when the two arrived. Hopefully, their witness would be home at this time of night. Morgan made it to the stoop first but instead of a key, he turned to the wall, reading over intercom. He ran his finger down each name, searching for the right one when his index froze.

"What is it?" Emily asked, hurrying forward.

Her stomach clenched as she saw. He'd stopped right at 4A and Reid's signature beside the button.

"We're going to find him in time, Morgan." She said softly.

He wasn't so sure about that. Shaking himself, he continued searching, at last landing at 7B's signature and pressed the buzzer.

For a long time there was nothing. Both feared she wasn't home. It was Saturday night, after all. If they couldn't get in touch with her, that was it. They had nothing else. Morgan pressed the buzzer again. After another long pause, he began to get impatient, leaning on it three consecutive times.

"Hello?" An annoyed voice at last asked.

"Lana Press?" Morgan said, holding down the button to speak.

"Yes, who's this?" She grumbled, her voice distorted with static.

"We're Agents Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss with the FBI, we'd like to speak to you, please." He informed.

"FBI?" She questioned. "What's this about?"

"Let us up and we'll tell you." Emily informed.

She was awfullly hesitant. If she didn't let them in, they couldn't force her. Luckily, Lana decided to take a chance on them. "I'd like to see your badges when you come up."

"Absolutely." Morgan informed. In a second, they heard the click of the lock. He grabbed the opened door and hurried to the stairs. Emily was right behind him, moving much faster this time.

Further up, they began to feel an odd vibration about the place. As if someone was playing their music much too loudly. Kids, probably; it seemed more like a singles place than where couples or families would settle. If no one had a problem with it, it wasn't any of their concern. Higher and higher up they climbed. The vibration had lessoned some as they reached the seventh floor and the two hurried down the hall.

7B was close to the end and Morgan knocked as soon as he approached. Within a moment, the door opened with the latch fastened. Both he and Emily lifted their badges to the crack. The young girl from the photo had answered, looking over the medals carefully.

It matched her liking and she quickly closed the door, opening it again with the chain removed. "Sorry about that. Can't be too careful these days, would you like to come in?"

At least she was being cooperative. Lana stepped aside to let the two agents in, closing the door carefully. Turning, they saw she wore a pair of soft pink pajamas and barefeet.

"We apologize for disturbing you. Were you just about to go to bed?" Morgan asked.

She grimaced. "Normally, yes, I help run the daycare at church on Sundays so I like to turn in early. But my annoying neighbor is once again blaring his music, I can't sleep with this constant thudding." Her eyes landed on Emily and she seemed curious. "You look familiar."

"Yes, we've met a couple of times... at Dr. Meadows' office." She explained.

"Oh," She nodded. "Right, you brought in your boyfriend a couple of times."

Thank goodness Morgan already knew, she felt embarrassed enough. She hide her discomfort, though. "Right, we need to ask you a few questions about your employer."

"You mean former employer." Lana corrected.

Emily and Morgan both glanced at each other. This was new. "Former?" Morgan asked.

"Willow called me yesterday morning... she said my services were no longer required." She explained.

"She fired you?" Questioned Emily.

"Oh, she was awfully nice about it." Lana assured. "She explained that, with this awful economy and society's blatant distrust for hollistic healing, her new business was so much more trouble than it was worth. She was going to change locations again and try opening it out west, where they're more open minded. She said she'd mail me a severence check in a week and offered the best of luck."

"I see," Morgan muttered. "Can you tell us how you became employed by Dr. Meadows?"

"The bullentin board in the front hall." Lana indicated. "There was a flyer with numbers attached, advertising for her business. In the corner, it said help wanted and flexible hours. I'm in grad school, I need as much work as I can get."

It explained why it was difficult to schedule appointments, they realized. Watson needed to make sure she could have her secretary on the job when they arrived.

"Did she ask you for any specific favors? Make you do any strange tasks for her?" Morgan wondered.

"No, she was a great boss." Lana assured. "I only worked a couple hours a week, she said she had quite a few receptionists, so it wasn't a problem. Any work I did for her seemed... pretty regular. Mundane."

"There was nothing out of the ordinary at all?" Emily pressed.

Lana gave that question quite a bit of thought. "Well..." she muttered. "Except for you and your boyfriend, I never saw any clients come in... but, as she told me, her business wasn't doing so well... I guess that's it."

"You guess?" Morgan voiced. "Ma'am, if you're thinking of anything, you need to tell us. Even if you think it's completely irrelevant, it might lead us in the right direction."

Letting out a sigh, Lana conceded. "Well... for a couple of days... my keys went missing."

"Your keys?" Emily asked, just to be sure.

"I know, it's silly." She smiled. "But I went to work one Tuesday... I think about a week before you started coming in. When I went to go home, my keys were just... gone! Right out of my purse. I searched everywhere. I had to call my neighbor to come and give me my spare set."

Morgan wondered, "And you never found them again?"

"No, I found them on Friday." She indicated. "There they were, right under my desk. Which was funny because I swore I checked there three times."

She looked to Morgan, a theory forming in her head. "I wonder if she made a copy of the front door key in order to get into the building."

"But why? Reid's been staying with us." Morgan said.

That was true, and it extinguished any glimmer of hope. "Maybe she didn't realize that at first, or she originally intended to wait until he moved back home to snatch him."

"I'm sorry, what are you talking about?" Lana wondered. "Did... Willow do something?"

Neither wanted to cause a panic and inform their witness what she had been so closely involved with. "Just one more question, yesterday morning was the last time you spoke to Dr. Meadows, correct?"

"Yes," She said truthfully.

They nodded, greatly disappointed. Emily pulled a card out of her pocket. "If you remember anything else or if you hear from Dr. Meadows, please give us a call. Do not inform her we're looking for her."

"Absolutely," She said, tentative. "I can't believe she'd be invovled in anything illegal."

Watson was certainly a master manipulator, fooling everyone she came in contact with. Lana opened the door to lead the agents out, both walking as if they were about to cross the last mile.

"Hey," Lana said, "Do you guys think you could go and talk to the guy playing the music? I've got to get some sleep."

"Didn't you call the landlord?" Morgan asked. He was irritated, already furious they had nothing more to work with. All hope of finding their friend was slipping out of sight.

"Yeah, but as usual he won't do anything until the morning." She rolled her eyes. "This happened a few times before, and the guy promised the landlord he wouldn't do it again, but I guess he forgot. Or he's just being an ass."

Emily could tell Morgan wanted to say no, that it wasn't their problem and unleash some of his frustration out on the young, innocent civilian. She stepped forward, "We'll talk to him. What's his name?"

She shrugged. "I don't know... the landlord told me once, but I can't remember... oh, but I do remember he's the tenant in 4A."

It was like a plane glass window had shattered. Emily and Morgan gaped at the young woman, wondering if she were mistaken. Or perhaps this was some joke. It couldn't be true. They couldn't have walked right passed it.

Lana wasn't sure what had disturbed the agents so, confused and bothered by their sudden change in demeanor. The two, however, had forgotten Lana was even there, turning to each other. Emily tried to keep her voice from shaking. "This whole time, she's had him in his own apartment."

Without another word, Morgan and Emily ran down the hall to the stairwell, leaving their witness in a very confused state.

* * *

><p>The two flew down the stairs, following the feel of the musical vibrations. Once they made it to the fourth floor, they removed their guns, hurrying down the hall to the door.<p>

They were not the first ones there. It seemed another tenant in the building was annoyed by the loud music. Getting closer, they discovered it was something by Beethoven. Not too many people would find enjoyment from blaring classical music.

"Son of a bitch! Turn down your music!" The man cried. He looked younger than Reid, but he, too, was already dressed for bed. Didn't anyone go out on a Saturday night? Besides sadistic killers, that was.

"Sir, could you step out of the way, please?" Morgan asked coming over. His gun secure in one hand, he tested the knob. No surprise it was locked.

"Thank God!" The tenant exclaimed. "This guy's done this before, usually he stops within a half hour, but he hasn't done it in ages. It's been going on for almost three hours now!"

Emily ignored him. "Do you think he hid a key somewhere?"

"No time," Morgan grumbled and prepared himself. And, just as he had when they first discovered him missing, Morgan began pounding on the locked door for it to open.

Emily stood back with the bystander, who seemed in no hurry to get back to his home. She didn't even care, all she could was stand there and hope when they finally got in... it wouldn't be too late.

At last the wood splitted away and the door burst open. Without another word, Emily and Morgan held their guns up, hurrying in.

"FBI!" Morgan cried, searching the place. "Elizabeth Watson, Denis Humford, step out with your hands in the air!"

There was no activity in the living room. Quickly, the two hurried through. It was hard to cover all the areas when it was just the two of them. It wasn't like they could wait for backup, though.

A cry was heard from the bedroom. A sickening shriek of pain, leading them in the right direction. The door to the bedroom was closed, but without a lock on it. Morgan easily burst it open to find a horrifying sight inside.

Emily wanted to cry out, but she couldn't let her emotions get in the way, not when they were finally here. In a flash, Morgan tucked his gun away and went to tackle their unsub. He and Watson tumbled down onto the bed, stopping her from striking Reid another time with the belt.

"No!" Watson cried. She was surprisingly strong, giving Morgan a run for his money. "I have to finish this!"

"Forget it, you're done!" Morgan groaned, trying to restrain the woman.

Emily wanted to rush to poor pathetic man slumped in a chair, barely conscious, but she knew where her priorities lay. Quickly, she searched for the second unsub. He must have heard them when they were in the living room because he was nowhere to be seen.

She may have only been here once before, but Emily remembered the closet. With her gun before her, Emily hurried over to the wall next to the window, whipping the door open.

From the light of the street lamp, the trembling form of Denis Humford was seen. He seemed so fragile now; not the cocky, confident doctor he had pretended to be. He had had eyes closed with his hands in the air, desperate not to be harmed.

Emily wanted to throttle him. "Get out here!" She ordered, her gun poised right between his eyes. He followed her every command, turning around without question. Emily tucked her gun away and whipped out her cuffs, locking them to his wrists.

"You... coward!" Watson cried as Emily tossed him onto the bed. "You didn't even try to fight her!"

Humford said nothing, just shaking and staring at the floor. Emily came to help restrain Watson, which was easier said then done. She wiggled and struggled against them, determined to get away.

"Damnit!" Morgan cried, almost losing his grip on her. Emily used all her strength to pull her away from him, seeing what damage she had done. On Morgan's lower arm, there was a distinct bite mark with blood already beginning to ooze out.

At last, they managed it. Emily held her steady as Morgan fastened the handcuffs as tight they could get.

Watson was extremely frazzled and furious as she slumped the floor, her hands behind her back. "You can't do this! My work isn't finished!"

Emily wasn't listening. In fact, she couldn't even hear. Her only concern was to her friend. She hurried to Reid's side, who was silently sobbing in his state of half life.

"Reid?" Emily whispered as she knelt before him. Her hands gently lifted his head up, trying to look in his eyes. There were long tears on his face and it looked like some blood in his mouth. On his exposed skin was acid burns and whip marks, some so severe, they broke the skin. His clothes were damp from his shirt collar to the bottom hem of his pants and he was covered in cold sweat.

"Reid?" Emily she carefully jostled him. "Can you hear me?"

He let out a loud guttural moan and she suspected it was his way of answering. She let out a sigh, going to remove the straps on his limbs.

"I'm going to call the medics and the team." Morgan said, his voice was choking up, but he tried to keep his cool. He yanked Watson to her feet. She grumbled a bit, but didn't say anything. "You get him free and lay him on the bed." He glanced over at Humford, who was sobbing into one of Reid's pillows. "Shove him to the floor."

Emily nodded and the two left the room. She didn't even notice the pathetic excuse for a man in the room with them. Really... it was just her the man she loved.

His legs were free and she made quick work of his arms. At last he could move and, having lost all control of his body, Reid fell forward, caught by Emily's protective arms.

He was heavy, but not too much for her. "It's alright," Emily said, her hand cradling the back of his head. She couldn't get him to the bed, but managed to adjust them onto the floor. She cradled Reid in her arms, just as she had on the floor of the warehouse two months ago.

"Em..." He moaned, stirring a bit. He began to realize his body wasn't bound anymore. His limbs were tingling painfully as circulation returned. "Emily..."

"Shh," She soothed, brushing his cheek. "It's alright, I'm here."

He was too afraid to open his eyes, but his hand reached out, finding her arm wrapped around him. He should have known she'd find him... always his savior in the darkness.

"I'm so sorry, Em..." He mumbled, nestling against her chest, needing to be as close to her as possible. "I'm... sorry..."

"Don't be sorry," She whispered. The tears couldn't be stopped now, flooding down her cheeks. "This isn't your fault, I'm so sorry this happened..."

"I love you, Emily..." He moaned. He breathed in her sweet scent and it comforted him. The pain wasn't so bad anymore.

Emily didn't want to say it. It had such a feel of finality to it, like professing her love would condemn his life. But she couldn't let the moment go by. "I love you, Spencer," she whispered. Holding him closer, she leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, her tears fell into his long, chestnut hair.

* * *

><p>AN: I know you guys were anxious to find him, but stay tuned! There's a lot more story to tell! :)


	32. Prepare Yourselves

What felt like days was only a few hours later. The waiting room at Columbia Grace Hospital was quiet, most of which was occupied by the BAU team. They knew they had reports to begin and the unsubs to interrogate and process, but right now none of it mattered. The only concern in the world was deep within the bowels of this building, and any minute now, they would get news on him.

At last, the middle-aged man from the photo they'd seen earlier emerged and made his way toward the group. The only thing different about his appearance was he wore a set of navy blue scrubs, his name embroidered in the corner. At least they knew his true identity this time.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Victor Ashton," He said, shaking hands with each of the members as they stood up. Whether he took noticed of how bad Emily was shaking, her didn't say anything. "The real Dr. Ashton. I feel terrible for the ordeal you've been through, I'm very sorry."

"How's Reid doing?" Hotch asked, getting right to the point.

It was then they noticed the large folder Dr. Ashton was carrying. "If you would follow me," He said, leading them off to an exam room close by. By his grave expression, none of them expected good news.

All six of them joined the surgeon inside. He flipped on the switch of an illuminated board and opened the folder. He removed two CT scans which Emily recognized immediately. They were the same ones she'd seen at the clinic.

"I've taken a look over Spencer's test results and scans. I had new tests done once he arrived and was stable." He looked with empathy at the group, unsure how to say this. "I'm sorry to report, the results are not good."

The news went through them like a shock wave, eventually morphing into fear and sadness. "Is he going to be okay?"

The only thing Emily could think about was the concern he'd been carrying for weeks, his desire to get a second opinion. He could make no sense of what he was seeing, yet he knew something was wrong. What if she'd thought of it sooner? He might be okay now.

"I'm curious to know what my doppleganger said this particular spot was." He said, pointing to the large black hole which Humford had assured was a good sign.

Emily spoke up, unable to raise her voice above a mumble. "He said it meant the brain was healing... that the swelling had gone down indicating the injury was fixing itself."

Ashton shook his head. Obviously this man had such a devotion to human life, he couldn't believe some people like these unsubs treated it so carelessly, for their own foolish amusement no less. "It's not the case... in fact, it's quite the contrary."

"What is it?" Hotch pressed.

"This black hole... that's not a hole." He explained, pointing with his finger. "That's blood. It's building up in a balloon aneurysm. The vessel must have been caused by the initial injury and resulted in a blood to pool building in there."

"Why didn't Robbins fix that in the first place?" Rossi questioned.

"It wasn't visible then. The swelling was too great." Ashton assured. "But, after his first appointment, if I were to see this... I would have recommended surgery at once. Now it's become a crucial matter. One good tap on the right spot of his skull," He indicated with a gentle pat on his own head, "it would have burst. He'd have been dead before any noticed it."

"Oh my God," JJ muttered, covering her mouth with her hand. Garcia patted her shoulder comfortingly.

"Is there anything you can do?" Morgan asked, frightened.

"We can still fix it with surgery." He explained, but his serious mood did not lessen. "Fixing the vessel itself is simple. Unfortunately, we're dealing with the brain here, it's a delicate organ. One false move that we don't even realize could change him forever... if not kill him."

The nicest thing anyone could say about this was at least Dr. Ashton was being honest with them. It didn't soften the truth, though. "Best case scenario." He continued, "We fix the vessel, allowing normal blood flow throughout the brain and his entire brain should fix itself in a reasonable amount of time. A week or two on average."

"And the worst case scenario?" Urged Hotch.

"Worst of all, of course, is death." He said. "But, that's the truth with any surgery. Taking that off the table... Spencer could become a vegetable."

There was large gush of air in the room as everyone took in a worrisome grasp. "What if we were to leave it alone? Is it possible it could heal itself?"

"At this stage, no." He shook his head. "If we don't operate, he will die."

Rossi looked to everyone, but no one seemed about to protest this doctor's judgement. "I guess we don't have a choice then."

"If he makes it through the surgery," Garcia said, her voice squeaking like a tiny terrified mouse. She willed herself to keep her cool. "If he makes it... will he be okay?"

He wanted to put these people at ease, give them all the hope in the world that they would have a happy ending. But happy endings didn't often happen in the real world. "You have to understand, the brain is a very sensitive item, probably the most sensitive in the body. Now, we're a trained team, and I have every hope in the world we can get your friend through this... but there are still risks. And with the risks come possible circumstances."

"Like what?" Emily demanded. She felt like her chest was going to explode.

"Well, we're dealing with the memory center. He could wake up worse than he was the first time, the amnesia then could be permanent, he could blow out his short term memory and he'll have to be reminded of his name every thirty minutes... and those are just the tip of the iceberg."

It wasn't fair this was their only alternative, but they couldn't just let Reid die. He meant too much to them. All of them. Emily was shaking like a little girl lost in the snow, her heart was pounding so hard, she was certain Dr. Ashton could hear it.

Rossi, always intuned with the people around him, took a glance at Emily and could only imagine what was going through her mind. Speaking up, he asked, "Can we see him?"

"I'm sorry, he's being prepped for surgery now. This is too severe, I didn't want to wait." Ashton was calm and sympathetic, wanting to do all he could for a nervous family. "It's a four hour procedure and when it's over, I'll come up to the waiting room, talk to you and if all goes well..." He gave a smile. "You'll be able to see him."

If waiting was all they could do, they wouldn't argue. The others agreed. Having no more questions, they made their slow way back to the waiting room.

Emily lingered for a moment, staring at the scans of Reid's brain. She knew very little about human anatomy and yet it pained her to think she looked right at these with Reid at her side. The truth was right before her eyes and she ignored it... Spencer was dying right in front of her and she was just letting it happen.

"This isn't your fault." Ashton said as if he could read her thoughts. "This is a specialized science. You put your trust in a doctor, you expected to be cared for. I'm so sorry this happened, but I'm going to do everything I can to save your friend."

"Will he be awake when you get down to the surgery?" She asked, hopeful.

But it faded as he shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. He'll be out by the time I get in there."

All she had wanted was to let him hear that she loved him, to make sure before he went to sleep, that was the last thought in his head... just in case she lost him.

"Oh," she mumbled. "Well... we'll see you soon then." Emily headed for the door, but stopped before she went out, looking back.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Dr. Ashton..." She stated, turning around. "This man... you have to understand how important he is. He is the kindest, bravest... most amazing person I've ever known. Losing him will be a tragedy. Please understand that."

"Dr. Spencer Reid," He said with a smile. "I know who he is, I've read several of his papers. It will be a great tragedy for the world if his incredible mind was lost."

"Yeah," Emily mumbled, walking out the door. "That, too."

* * *

><p>Since the surgery was going to be awhile, Hotch and Rossi decided it best to get the rest of the case wrapped up. Not that they cared if Watson sat in an interrogation room for the rest of the night, but they wanted to wash their hands of her as fast as possible.<p>

They spent a good hour dicussing and debating how to go about this. They needed to effect this woman, get under her skin as it were. A confession was more than likely out of the question. Not that it mattered, her partner would no doubt confess to accessory and testify against her for protection in prison. Maybe it was vengeance, but Rossi and Hotch wanted to make this woman suffer.

At 1:30, the men were prepared and ready. Each holding a steaming cup of coffee, they went into the room, not even bothering to introduce themselves before they sat.

"Your name is Elizabeth Watson, correct?" Hotch asked. He was fierce and mean, as usual when face to face with a cold blooded killer.

"Doctor. _Doctor_ Elizabeth Watson." She said plainly. She sat straight back, her hands folded before her. At first sight, it didn't seem to disturb her she'd been in here so long. Neither of them missed the way she kept eyeing their cups, however. Fatigue was getting to her.

"Miss Watson," Hotch stated, opening the folder. "You're being charged with the kidnappings and murders of Janice Pillar, Sandra Fillimani, and Stephanie Coldorario," After each name, he revealed the smiling, happy face of the designated victim. The wonderful lives she had erased for her own pleasures. "As well as two counts of kidnapping and attempted murders of Spencer Reid."

She nodded. It was disgusting how proud she seemed of that. "That's quite a list, Agent."

"Do you deny your guilt in these crimes?" Rossi questioned.

"These are not crimes!" She exclaimed. "Agents, I am a scientist. And sometimes sacrifices must be made for the good of science. If you look back at any scientific break through, lives were used and even lost to move forward and discover more about the world and universe that binds us."

"What exactly can a person learn from torture and murder?" Hotch said in almost a yell. He was just moments from losing his temper, though he doubted she would bat an eyelash were he to scream right in her ear.

Watson gave a sickening smile. She was delighted in this, reveling in it even. "Pain" was all she said.

"Pain?" Rossi repeated.

She gave a roll of her eyes; how foolish the people of the world were. "What do we know about pain? It can put us through so much, it can make us feel so many things. There is so much we can learn about pain and what the human body goes through in order to feel, how much pain it can endure... I truly could go on and on. If we could unlock the power of pain... there could be no limit to what our bodies could be made to do."

"So you kidnapped people to torture them and study how they experience their pain?" Hotch asked. He wasn't just angry, he was downright revolted.

"Believe me, I had to take what I could get." She grumbled, disappointed in her earlier experiements. "My patients were... satisfactory, for the most part, but they weren't as open and, shall we say, willing to express their pain. When I started hunting, that's when I started to get better results."

"Hunting," Rossi stated. "Since when did human beings become desireable game?"

She brushed his question aside. "Oh, but Dr. Reid... he was my Everest. There was so much I learned from him, so much more I could have learned... if only you had given me more time. Who knows what I could have discovered with just another hour."

Rossi broke in before Hotch could officially lose it. "That man is our friend! Did you even consider the lives you were destroying? The families you were devestating by your sickening experiments?"

All she said was "Sacrifices."

Without a shadow of a doubt, Hotch began to gather the files and the photos. "You're finished, Miss Watson. Even without a confession, we have enough evidence on you to get the death penalty. And I'm sure Dr. Reid will testify, as well as your sniveling partner."

"I understand, in fact I'll be happy to give a confession." She said kindly.

The men looked at each with surprise before turning to her again. "You will?"

"Yes," She nodded. "With one condition, of course. I'll be requiring a conversation with Dr. Reid. I need to ask him about our last session. It's necessary research."

Rossi and Hotch were both burning with fury. In unison, they stood. "As I said," Hotch informed, "We don't need a confession. You're not getting near Dr. Reid and we'll make it so you and your research never sees the light of day again."

That did it. At last, her cool, superior persona faded and she became panicked. "What? No, you can't! This is my work! This is my life!" The agents stepped out, not even looking back. "This is my life! You can't do this! You have no idea what good this could do for humanity! Come back here! Agents! Agents!"

Her cries and screams followed them out until they closed the door. It was better than just punishing her. They had ruined her life spirit, the very thing that fueled her, and at last, for the girls who had fallen as well as Reid and his shamble of a life, justice had been done.

* * *

><p>"It's been almost five hours!" Morgan cried. He couldn't sit anymore. This was absolute agony.<p>

"He said about, Babe!" Garcia called, wanting him to stay calm. "I'm sure they just want to be thorough."

JJ handed out the third round of coffee for everyone. Walking back and fourth from the cafeteria gave her something to do, she had no problem fetching the drinks. She handed out each cup, though no one wanted to drink. The only reason they did was to busythemselves with something.

Emily took hers with one hand, the other was occupied by her mouth. She sat chewing on her nails, down to the point where she was drawing blood. Just as Morgan, she was at the end of her rope, begging for some kind of news. What was taking so long? What was going on with Reid?

The doors at the other end of the waiting room opened. At last, Hotch and Rossi returned. "How did it go?" JJ wondered, looking anxiously at the men.

"Well, Watson didn't want to confess." Hotch explained. "Not without talking to Reid. Even if he was in the right mental state, we wouldn't allow that to happen."

"Luckily, Humford folded like a napkin." Rossi added. "He'll testify in court, we may also like Emily to since she spoke to Watson directly. Reid as well... if he's capable, anyway.

At this point, Emily didn't care about the unsubs or a trial. Right now, nothing mattered. Nothing in the world exsisted right now. Until Reid came out, safe and sound, the world had literally stopped turning.

"Any news?" Rossi asked.

He and Emily met eyes, secret from the others. "Not yet," Morgan explained. "That surgery should have been over an hour ago, what the hell is taking so long?"

"My sweet one, you have to calm down!" Cried Garcia. "You're just getting yourself worked up... it's probably nothing."

The operative word there was 'probably'. Probably didn't exsist with a chance. And chances were like the lottery... good or bad, someone had to win.

Another hour passed, leading them into six. The group was next to panicked as they sat, waiting in silence. They were too nervous to even talk now, and before long their hopes were mostly diminished. The expectations were of the worst kind.

"Agents," Ashton announced as he stepped in. It was very odd to him, not speaking to the family first. But even he could tell these people didn't need to share DNA to be a close as blood relatives.

"Doctor," JJ exclaimed. "Is Reid alright?"

He did not look happy. He was tired and seemed both frustrated and ashamed. "We managed to fix the aneurysm, most of the procedure was textbook."

"There was a problem?" Emily asked, her throat had suddenly gone dry.

Ashton let out a slow breath. "There was a hemmorage in the brain. We managed to stop the bleed and repair it as best we could, but the amount of blood along with the remaining damage..." He paused, trying to keep his voice calm. The best thing to do was just say it. "It's caused Reid to go into a coma."

"Oh, God," Garcia whispered as the news overtook the rest of them. Even Hotch had lost his composure, stunned with fright.

"He's braindead?" JJ asked, terrified.

Ashton corrected, "No, there is some brain activity... there is a chance that his brain could heal itself and he could make a full recovery... But I have inform to you, the odds of that happening are not good." He cleared his throat, meeting each of their frightened eyes. "You should prepare yourselves."

Without another word, Ashton turned and headed back to work, his work with Reid was not done for the night; he wanted to be sure he was as comfortable as possible. They didn't need to hear the real truth. Every one of them had heard that phrase before, with family or friends or fellow agents and it always meant the same thing. It was the sentence doctors used as a warning. Their loved one was not likely to survive.


	33. Fields of Gold

They weren't allowed in to see Reid until the next day. The entire team felt it was best to go together. Seeing him like this was going to be much too hard to do alone. They needed each other as much as he needed them.

A nurse lead the group to the coma wing of the surgical ward. It was extremely quiet. Almost like a deathly silence. The doors to every room were closed, wanting to give the poor, helpless patients some respect. The nurse stopped before room 232.

"I'm going to have to ask that you don't stay too long." She stated before she let them in. "Usually this many visitors isn't allowed at a time, but we're making an exception. After that, he may have one or two visitors at a time."

"Thank you," Hotch muttered, his voice choking a bit. Even he was having a hard time keeping it together. The nurse stepped aside to let them pass and he was the first to the door, opening it slowly. One by one, each member of the team walked in to see the sorrowful sight.

The patient didn't even look like Reid. But it indeed was him. His hair was neat and brushed back, a large bandage was wrapped around his head to protect the fresh wound. His cuts and burns had been treated and bandaged. Attached to him were half a dozen tubes and wires, leading to his IV. The obvious beeping of the EKG machine as heard, the pace much slower than normal. Another machine was attached with a similar pattern, only this one was silent. The squiggles on the screen were slow and spaced out much further than on the heart monitor.

"What is that?" Garcia asked as she looked at the equipment.

"I think it's measuring his brainwaves." Rossi explained, looking over the poor sleeping man.

Everyone took a position around the bed. Emily wasn't sure if it were by accident or some work of the others, but she sat right at the head of the bed, staring at Reid's sickly pale face. Beside her was Morgan. He placed his hand on her shoulder, gripping it as he tried to take this in. Rossi and Hotch were at the foot, over looking his whole weak form. Garcia sat in the middle on the otherside, immediately clasping his immobile hand. Her other reached beside her and took JJ's, who sat just across from Emily. Her free hand reached over to brush some tendrils of his hair off his forehead.

"He's so cold." JJ mumbled, fighting back tears.

"Do you think he can hear us?" Garcia asked, looking at the men and Emily.

"If he can, I'm sure he'd like to know we're here." Rossi assured, giving Garcia an encouraging smile.

Emily wanted to speak to him. She had the perfect opportunity, right beside his ear. Since she learned her love was in a coma, however, she'd practically gone mute. No words were coming to her... what would she say anyway, even if the others weren't around?

JJ leaned over and took the initiative, continuing the soft strokes through his hair. "Hey, Spence." She whispered, just an inch from his ear. "Everyone's here... the whole team, we came to be with you..."

Garcia clasped his hand tighter. Emily wanted to take his other one, but found herself frozen, her own hands gripping at the arm rests of her chair. Her knuckles were white. Morgan stepped forward in a moment, grasping his other one.

"I know you're tired, kid," He muttered; everyone could hear the emotion creeping into his voice, "but you can't give up. We know you can get better if you just hang on long enough."

"You can't leave us, Reid..." Garcia whimpered, her eyes swimming with tears. "We need you. You're a part of us... we've been figthing for you for two months, you can't leave us now."

JJ tried not to think of his poor mother who missed her son so terribly, she couldn't even get out of bed. And what about Henry? It broke her heart to just think about explaining to him he'd never see his Uncle Spence again. So many lives were going to be irreversibly effected by this man's death. She wondered if Reid even knew the effect he had on the people around him.

For a long time, no one spoke. Hotch and Rossi at last sat down. It didn't make much sense to sit here, just staring at a man in a coma, knowing he wouldn't just all of a sudden come out of it. It didn't have to make sense, though. When you loved someone, you stayed by their side. No matter what.

Emily had been watching Reid's chest, the slow pattern as he breathed in and out. She wanted to feel his heart beating, like she had each night she slept in his arms. She suddenly felt so cold and longed for his warm arms to wrap around her and hold her close. Emily was dying inside. He wasn't gone yet, but even now... she had no idea how to live without him.

"Emily..." Garcia muttered, pulling her attention from the young man. "Would you like a tissue?"

She was confused. "Why?"

"Because you're crying." She insisted, trying to pass the Kleenex over.

Startled, Emily felt her cheeks and found they were wet. She was crying and she hadn't even known it. Emily was always able to keep her emotions down. She had the best poker face on the team, probably the only reason she could beat Reid at cards. But this time her control had forsaken her.

Morgan had accepted the tissue and handed it to Emily. "Thank you," She mumbled, dabbing her eyes.

"Guys," Hotch said then, standing up, "I think it's time we take our leave. Who's interested in staying?"

Whether he said it because it really was time or he wanted to give Emily a chance to get away, she didn't know. She'd take it either way.

"I will," JJ announced. "Em... do you want to stay with me?"

"No," She immediately said, jumping to her feet. "I've got to go."

Without another word or even a goodbye, Emily hurried to the door pushing through the others. She couldn't be in that room one more second.

* * *

><p>The air was chilly today and right now, standing in the courtyard of the hospital, she was thankful for it. The cold made her numb. Fall was already creeping into it's last stretch. Tomorrow was Halloween... Reid's favorite holiday. He'd be very upset if he knew he was going to miss it... of course, he was never going to know.<p>

The door opened not far from her. Emily was leaning on the wall, not immediately seen from the doorway. Thanks to the weather, no one was particularly interested in coming outside. She'd seen a few nurses and doctors on their smoke breaks, but that was it. There was something to say about medical professionals falling to a vice like smoking, but it was the last thing on her mind right now.

"You're going to freeze out here, you know." Rossi's voice said, echoing in the cold air.

"If only," She mumbled, not looking at him.

He didn't reply to that. He stood, his hands in his pockets, just observing the disheartened woman. She suspected he was waiting for her to speak, but all she wanted was to be left to her frozen solitude again.

"You don't have to wait for me." She explained. "If you want to leave, just leave. I'll call a cab."

"Emily, you've been down here for over an hour. If it was just the sake of going home, I would have left by now." He stated, stepping closer.

"What do you want, then?" She asked. This time, she felt the tears coming and forced them back.

"I want to know why you ran from Reid's room like you were about to catch on fire." He stated plainly.

She had to admit, she was ashamed of herself over that. "I can't see him like this."

"You think it's much easier for us?" He questioned. "We're all afraid of losing him, yet we're trying to stick by his side. You're the one who thinks she's in love with him."

Aggravated, Emily turned to him in fury. "I am in love with him! It's not some stupid infatuation, Dave, I love him. I love him so much, it hurts. Sometimes..." The emotions inside took the opportunity to break free. Tears began to spill forth. "Sometimes I forget how to breathe, I forget how to think... I start crying and I don't... I don't even realize..."

That was love in any country. Rossi gave a small smile. He really cared about Emily and knew how empty her life was, even if she'd never admit it. Finally, she found the one thing that made life worth living... though it pained him to know she was about to lose it.

She caught herself, making the tears halt. The streams running down were freezing in the air quickly. "I know you do." He assured as she wiped them away. "And I know how hard it is for you to admit that... and that's why this is so much harder. It hurts too much to see him like this, to know your losing him and there's no way to stop it... but you love him. And just as important, he loves you. If you were in his state, wouldn't you want him by your side... even if you didn't know it?"

Emily still wasn't certain she could go in there. She opened her mouth to reply, but Rossi cut her off. "Think about it." And with that, he went back inside, leaving her in the cold.

The chill was almost unbearable in her thin coat and bare hands. She leaned back on her wall anyway, too afraid to go into the warmth and start feeling something.

* * *

><p>Another half hour went by before the cold became too much. Emily retreated to the cafeteria, ordering cup after cup of bad coffee. It put a bitter aftertaste in her mouth, but she kept drinking. Her hands felt dry and chapped now... she wondered if perhaps the nurses had some moisturizer she could use.<p>

It was dark out when Emily finally stood. Judging by the new crowd in here, she guessed it was about dinnertime. The last thing she could think about was food, though her stomach was churning so bad. Tossing her cup in the trash, she took her coat and purse and left the noise and commotion behind.

The halls were very quiet. Visiting hours must be over, but still she supported her badge. Her feet had taken over now. Her body knew where it had to go, even if her heart didn't want to be there. Surgery was only one floor away, and it guided her to the stairs. It was almost as difficult for her to climb this time as she had that journey to Reid's. Her chest hurt just as much, too.

At last she made it. She hurried past the doors of ICU, down the hall of the pre-op patients. Next she passed the post-op and Emily loathed every single one of them. How come their surgeries went so successfully and Reid's hadn't? Then again, most of them were probably in for something simple like appendectomies or stomach stapling, nothing very life threatening.

The same chill from this morning met her as she turned the corner. There weren't as many rooms in this wing. She didn't have to look at the numbers to know which room to go to... her feet knew the way.

She expected to give JJ or whoever was in there some excuse as to why she was back, or why she hadn't called first. But as she stepped in... she found no one inside but Reid.

Her whole body was shaking worse than in the cold, like she was about to give some huge speech to all of Washington. She'd take that now over this... especially if Reid were sitting in the front row.

The door closed without a sound and the two were officially alone. "Hey," she said in half hiss, half choke. "It's me... Emily..."

If he could hear, her voice was so distorted from grief, he wouldn't know it was her without introducing herself. But now that she had spoken, words were coming eaiser.

"I didn't know you were here alone." Emily whispered, taking a step closer. "I wonder if Rossi told everyone to leave, claiming I asked to be here alone." She gave a slight laugh. "I wouldn't put it past him."

Emily set her coat on the same chair she'd been sitting in that morning. Again, she looked over his disturbing prescence. His eyes surrounded with dark bags, his cheeks sunken in a bit, his lips were chapped from the constant rush of air. Having an idea, Emily hurried to the bathroom. Grapping a washcloth, she turned the water on and waited for a lukewarm stream to flow out. She dampened the cotton, squeezing out the excess water and returned to the room.

Sitting in her chair, she inched as close as possible. Emily dabbed the cloth on his lips, helping to moisten them.

"There," She whispered. "That should make it a little more comfortable."

She didn't stop there. Gently, she wiped his forehead and along his face, moving down to wipe his neck. Hopefully, the warm water might stir his blood a bit more, possibly helping the healing process.

This time, she found the strength to take his hand. "We've got to get you warmed up. It's getting colder, we don't want you to get sick."

Looking to the monitors, she spotted his heart beat. Slow, but steady. It was the brainwaves that bothered her. They were still at the same sluggish pace, one blip in the line went from one side of the screen to practically the other before another appeared.

Leaning forward, Emily pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I wish I knew if you could hear me. If somewhere in that void, you can hear me calling out to you. Because... if I knew you could. I would... I would tell you I love you. I would yell it over and over... until you came back to me."

She couldn't help but start crying. Her face rested against his cool cheek, her other hand, still wet from the cloth, reached to gently stroke his brow.

"You can't do this to me, Spencer," She sobbed. "You can't make me fall in love with you and then leave me. It's not fair. For the first time in my life, I really thought I could have something... I really thought I wasn't doomed to be alone... please... please come back to me."

Emily cried quietly for awhile, her tears pooling onto his cheek and sliding down to soak into his pillow. Once a considerable puddle had gathered, she sat up. Maybe there was something she could do. It had been so long, she wasn't even sure if she could remember how, she couldn't even say if she believed it did any good, for anyone... but what kind of person was she if she didn't do everything possible... to save the man she loved.

Taking a deep, stuttering breath, Emily stood from her chair. She clung to his hand as if he were the one supporting her... and slowly, Emily got to her knees. His hand was sandwhiched between hers as she situated herself beside the bed. Emily rested her elbows on the mattress, bowing her head.

"God..." She whispered, a part of her hating herself for doing this. After all, when had He been here for her in the last twenty-five years? "I don't know if You'll listen to me... I know I turned from You a long time ago... but this prayer not for me. It's for Spencer."

Her eyes opened as she landed on Reid, so small and sick, quickly slipping from life. "He's a good man, he doesn't deserve to have his life take away. There's so much more he could do, so much more good... I love him with all my heart and soul and I can't bear to see him like this. Please let him live... even if it means you have to take my life in his place, please... please don't take him... please let him live... please..."

It was the only word she could form for a long time, sobbing it over and over, muffled by the sounds of the cream colored blanket. She almost believe any minute, he was going to shake her shoulder to grab her attention and be there smiling at her. But he didn't. Reid slept on.

After sometime, her knees could take the hard floor no longer. Carefully, she guided herself back into chair. She leaned as close to his ear as possible. Mindful of his bandage, Emily stroked through his hair over and over, leaning into his ear.

_"You'll remember me when the west wind moves, among the fields of barley... you can tell the sun in his jealous sky... when we walked in fields of gold._.. _Will you stay with me, will you be my love... among the fields of barley... and you can tell the sun in his jealous sky... when we walked in fields of god..."_

Emily sang as soft as a nightingale, her hand refusing to release his. She rested her head on his pillow, leaning against his cheek. Her tears spilled forth, running from her face to his. All she could hope was that somewhere in that cold, lonely darkness, her voice could reach him, letting him know he was not alone. _"I never made promises lightly... and there have been some that I've broken... but I swear in the days still left... we'll walk in fields of gold... we'll walk in fields... of gold..."_


	34. A Sight for Sore Eyes

The next seven days passed very slowly. JJ, Garcia, and Morgan occupied most the days, skipping work and taking long lunch breaks so they could be by Reid's side. Emily remained at the unit. She occupied her time with reports and new case files, calling cities all over the country to give the needed profiles. Hotch thanked her personally for picking up the slack for the others, knowing she was in just as much agony as the rest of them. She used the excuse that after being away for a week, she needed work to clear her head. In truth, she just couldn't be in that hospital room.

She realized it wasn't Reid that was keeping her away... it was everyone else. She wanted to be alone with him, she wanted to able to cry and kiss him and tell him she loved him at her will. In which case, she offered to stay with him at night. And since JJ had a familly and the others remained there all day to begin with, it was the perfect deal. Emily only went to her apartment in the wee hours of the morning, just to grab a shower and change her clothes. Besides... she wasn't so sure she could sleep in that bed now.

It was early Saturday morning when Emily awoke to the smell of coffee. It was a strange and new feeling, but she liked it. Until she opened her eyes, finding herself in the same place as every other morning this week. Reid lay beside, completely still and locked in his own body. On the other side, however, she saw JJ standing, setting her coat on the back of the chair. She gave Emily a smile.

"I brought you some coffee," She said, indicating the cup. So that's where it came from.

"Thanks," Emily groggily muttered, pushing the blanket away from her. Her joints were stiff from sleeping so awkwardly in this chair, although it wasn't until about three she finally cried herself to sleep. A yawn took her over for a moment as she rubbed her tired eyes. "What time is it?"

"After seven," She said, bringing the drink over. "The rest of the team is in the waiting room. We thought it would be nice if everyone was here today. Someone could sit in here while the others keep each other company out there."

"Yeah..." That did sound nice. The wise thing to do would be go home and get a few more hours sleep, grab a hot shower and a good breakfast and return by noon... but Emily couldn't bring herself to leave. She had nowhere to be today, who did she have to look presentable for?

"You look like hell." JJ teased as Emily took the coffee.

She let out a dry laugh. "Don't sugar coat it, Jay."

"I'm sorry," She sat on the edge of the bed. "We're just worried about you."

Swallowing the hot liquid - just the taste of it was waking her up - she gave her a funny look. "Why? I'm not the one in a coma."

"We're concerned you're running yourself ragged." She explained. "You go to work, you come here at night, the only thing you go home for is to freshen up... you're barely sleeping, Emily. And we can tell you haven't had a real meal since brunch last week. Maybe you should stay home tonight. Rossi and Garcia have already offered to stay-"

"No," Emily interrupted, looking to her with fierce eyes. "I have to be here."

"You don't have to take all of this on yourself." Her friend tried to explain. "We're all friends, we're all each others responsibility."

"It's not that..." She shook her head. Emily leaned back in her chair, over looking the immobile form of her love. "I just can't leave him... it's one thing during the day, but at night I have to be here. When it happens, it'll be at night."

"When what happens?" JJ asked. Emily was much too logical to believe he would magically wake up. Especially after this long.

She hesitated, but at last said, quite calmly, "When he dies... I just feel like it'll be at night... and I have to be with him when he goes."

That stung JJ in the chest like she'd been shot with an arrow, but she understood. "Emily, I think if Reid had a choice... he wouldn't want anyone but you to be with him when he dies."

For some reason, that eased the pain. "Thank you for understanding."

JJ patted her shoulder. "Not that I'm intending to kick you out, but the rest of the team would like to speak to you."

That was curious. "Do you know about what?" She asked.

"Yes," JJ said, "but you need to hear it from them."

Now she was scared, but vaguely interested. Her things were safe here, especially with JJ nearby, so she took her coffee and for the first time in thirteen hours, left Reid alone.

* * *

><p>The waiting room was on the clear other side of the ward. It was a long walk across the floor and Emily savored every minute of it. She didn't want to be around anyone right now. Everything felt so final, and she couldn't shake the feeling her life would be over as soon as Reid's was. Maybe not in the physical sense, but over just the same.<p>

"There she is!" Garcia sang as she spotted their friend. Emily gave a small smile. Despite her depression, she still loved these people. Her bright and bubbly girl gave her a warm hug as she came over, which Emily found herself returning whole heartedly.

"How you doing, Prentiss?" Morgan asked, next in line to take her into his arms.

"Tired," Was all she said. "How's everyone else?"

"We're all in the same boat." Hotch replied. To her surprise, he gave her a hug, too. Emily became very frightened. If this rattled Hotch enough to offer support, it was extremely serious.

"What's going on?" She asked when lastly Rossi let her go.

"We should sit." He said, leading her into a chair.

Emily didn't want to sit, but followed the command without question. Her hands wrapped around the warmth of the cup. She leaned on her knees and breathed in the delicious smell, waiting for the inevitable doom.

"We need to discuss something with you." Hotch stated.

Emily glanced at Rossi and then Morgan, trying to see if her suspicions were correct. Their expressions were grave. Morgan's eyes remained on the floor and Rossi had his arm around her. It was not about her relationship with Reid, but then what else could it be?

"We were talking last night, Em," Continued Hotch. "And... we need to come to a decision."

"Considering we're the ones who led Reid back into Watson's hands... we would like to hear your opinion. And whatever you say, we'll agree." Rossi added.

She was downright terrified now. "What?"

"Reid isn't getting much better." Hotch obviously announced. "The doctors are running tests and, though it does show a bit of improvement... they don't think his body is going to last for him to come out of this."

"They're just giving up?" Emily wondered.

"They're already doing everything they can." Rossi explained. "Ashton has offered to call in some specialists. There's one in New York, another in London, there's a very prestigious neurosurgeon at a teaching hospital in Seattle who might be willing to look at him... but he can't guarantee they're going to be any help."

"In which case, if Reid's internal systems start to fail, he'll need to be put on bipass." Hotch said. "After that, there will be no hope."

It all suddenly made sense. "You want me to decide if we should keep him on a machine."

"It doesn't have to be your decision." Garcia finally squeaked. "But... we know we should have listened to you about the hypnosis. From the very beginning. This may not even be happening if we had."

"You seem to have Reid's best interest out of any of us." Rossi assured. "What do you think we should do?"

Emily didn't have an answer for that. She was supposed to determine her friend's mortality in a matter of minutes. It had taken her five years to realize she could fall in love with him, this would be impossible.

"I think..." She mumbled, feeling like crying. "I think I'm too emotionally involved to voice any opinion... let alone make a decision."

"We're all emotionally involved." Morgan assured. "Garcia and I want to keep him alive, Hotch and Rossi and JJ think we should let him go. You could look at both decisions from dozens of angles, and you could see right reasons and wrong reasons. But if the time comes, we do need to make a serious, albeit grave choice."

Grave choice. That was certainly the appropriate term. "Look, we can vote on it." Hotch said. "But we at least need to know which side you're on."

Now that she thought about it... a nap and a shower might not be such a bad idea. Her eyes landed to Rossi, who knew better than the rest just how torn she was in this. "I think I need to be alone for awhile. Uh... I'll be back by noon. Call me if anything... happens."

"Sure," Morgan assured. All of them got to their feet, giving her hugs of goodbye. Emily left her coffee behind with them, a metaphor for this whole horrible situation.

* * *

><p>Later that day, JJ felt an overwhelming fatigue take over her. It had been such a stressful week and she hadn't been sleeping more than twenty minutes at a time during the night. Sitting here this afternoon, with no noise but the beeps of the heart monitor for company, sleep was shrouding around her like a fog. Just as Emily was when she found her, JJ curled into her chair and took a nap.<p>

Around one, JJ woke with a jerk, like someone was forcing her awake. At first, she expected to see someone in the room, but there was no one. She was always so disorienated when she rose from sleep. Everything seemed so distorted, especially her hearing. Reid was still asleep, but she almost believed his breathing was louder and heavier... and was that right? Was the heart monitor going a bit faster now?

It was just her imagination, she was sure. JJ went to the bathroom to freshen up, returning a few minutes later. Her stomach rumbled a bit, hopefully someone would be in soon to trade places with her, or at least bring her some lunch. Water would do for now. Pouring herself a glass from the available pitcher, she took a slow sip and then reclaimed her chair, wishing she'd brought a book with her.

Reid let out a groan... he felt like Ripvanwinkle, arising finally after twenty years. His head was pounding like someone how smashed on it repeatedly with a hammer. His whole body thrived with pain, altering between aches and burning. He would have liked to fall back to sleep, but his throat was dry and tender, he needed some water.

Opening his eyes, he found himself in a hospital bed. The light in here was soft, the sunlight coming in a light shine. More than likely it was afternoon. Looking around, he began to believe he was alone until to his right, he spotted a familiar blonde woman... no surprise, she was always looking out for him.

"You're a sight for sore eyes." He mumbled.

JJ was suddenly startled. She had been falling asleep, jumping up at his voice. At first, she looked to the door to see who had spoken, but finding no one, she looked to the bed. It was absolutely shocking. JJ had to be dreaming... Reid couldn't be awake... laying there... smiling at her... just like he used to.

"You're awake," She exhaled, unable to speak above a whisper.

"Unfortunately," He moaned, "My head is aching."

"Yeah..." She nodded. She wanted to run and scream for others, to come and see the miracle before her. They would never believe it, he was pulling through... but she could barely process this herself. JJ was too afraid as soon as she stood, this wonderful hallucination would disappear forever. All she could manage was, "You had surgery."

"Can I have some water, please?" He asked, looking to her with hopeful eyes to help him.

JJ stood immediately, "Absolutely," she exclaimed, hurrying over to the pitcher once again. "You were really thirsty last time, too."

Last time? What did she mean by last time... perhaps she meant after he was kidnapped by Henkle, he had asked for water after that, too. But that was so long ago, why would she be thinking about that?

"Thanks," He smiled. Reid took the glass and felt strong enough to pull himself up. Sitting made him dizzy for a moment, but he sat perfectly still and slowly the feeling faded. He took a long drink, almost draining the glass. As he swallowed, he let out a sigh. Much better.

"More?" JJ asked.

"If you don't mind," He said, handing back the cup. She dashed off the fill it, seeming in a great effort to please him. "What did I have surgery for? Did I get hit in the head?"

"Not again," She explained, bringing another glass to him. JJ sat on the edge of the bed with him. "You had a building anerysum in her head, they had to operate to fix it. There was a... a problem in surgery that put you into a coma."

"I've been in a coma?" He asked, stunned. "For how long?"

Her voice stammered as she replied, "A week."

"Oh my God..." He uttered. He couldn't believe he lost a whole week of his life. If he had to guess, he'd say it had only been a day or two... but a week?

"It's okay, Spence," She said, patting his leg. He could see the tears swimming in her eyes. "You're awake now, they didn't even think you'd come out of it... I think it's safe to say you're on the mend."

His free hand went up to inspect the bandage wrapped around his head. His soft hair was peaking out from under it, but even then he could feel some of it was missing. A clean patch around the wound. "Well... at least this time I didn't wake up wearing pantie hose and my pants missing."

That came out of nowhere. "What?"

"Remember my birthday two years ago?" Reid asked, as if it were obvious. "Morgan took me out drinking and for once, I actually took his advice and let my inhibitions go. I woke up the next morning in his car. My pants were gone and instead I had on pantie hose. I think Morgan still has pictures."

"Wait," JJ uttered, stunned. He had said it so nonchalantly... like reading it from the pages of a book. "You remember something... from two years ago?"

"Yeah, well..." He thought for a moment, "I do believe alcohol performed it's usual effects and erased most of the evening for me, but my sober moments are fine."

At first, JJ thought she was going to be sick. She probably would have were something in her stomach. She stared deeply into Reid's eyes, as if this was some prank. Oh those eyes... she knew that twinkle. He used to always look at her like that. She couldn't exactly put it into words, but it was like a mixture of relief and kindess and... joy. Like he knew her.

"What's my name?" She demanded at once.

He was taken aback for a moment before answering, "JJ."

"My full name." She urged.

"Agent Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau" emerged from his lips without even a thought.

She needed to put this to the ultimate test. "I need you, right now... tell me everything you know about me."

"Why?" He finally asked.

"Just do it!" She yelled.

He considered it for a moment. "Like I said, your name is Jennifer Jareau, you work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit, same as me, you're our media liaison. You grew up in Pennsylvania with your parents and older sister. You were a soccer star, which lead to a full college scholarship. You decided to join the FBI after you met our teammate, David Rossi, during your senior year of college. You're married to Will LaMontagne, a former New Orleans police officer. Together, you have a son named Henry, who's mine and Garcia's godchild-"

"Okay," She held up a hand, tears running down her face. "That's enough."

"JJ, what's wrong?" He asked. Reid didn't often get confused and it found it to be horribly unsettling, especially right now.

"Nothing," She managed a smile through her tears. "Absolutely nothing is wrong!"

At that, she pulled Reid into a hug; careful of his wounds, but powerful just the same. She was crying and laughing at the same time. Reid hesitated at first, taken by complete surprise, but knew she needed comfort and wrapped his arms around her.

As he held her, she giggled with delight. She moved to slip a kiss on his cheek. "Oh, Spence,"

"What's wrong?" He asked again as she pulled away.

"Nothing," She said again and pulled herself off the bed. She knew she should get a nurse, but the need seemed to pale in comparison to finding the others. "I'm going to go and get the rest of the team, they're in the waiting room... you just... you wait here. And don't you forget anything!"

"JJ!" He cried, but she didn't stop. Like a kid running downstairs on Christmas morning, JJ took off out the door, leaving him alone to his very confused thoughts.

* * *

><p>It was after one when Emily got back to the hospital. A little late, but she wanted to take her time today. She had thought she'd have trouble falling asleep when she got home. She put on a night gown and climbed into bed. She longed for the last time she was here. Wrapped in the warm sheets, her body completely spent and relaxed... and his strong arms wrapped around her. She rested her head on the pillow he'd been using and breathed in that familiar scent of him. Breathing it in while pretending his arms were around her, Emily was able to drift off. Soon, she was in a restful sleep, shutting out the world completely.<p>

It was only three hours, but it was enough. Emily awoke feeling much stronger. It was almost a full minute before she remembered the misery she was in. After a long hot shower, her muscles felt lose and regenerated. She slowly got dressed and made herself something to eat. By noon, she left to return to the others. Though she felt better, she still had no idea what answer to give them.

Luckily, they didn't ask. Everyone greeted her in their usual, friendly way. JJ wasn't with them, no doubt still mindful by Reid's bedside. Emily took the same seat beside Rossi, sitting with the others in the morbid quiet.

"One of us should trade with JJ soon." Hotch muttered, looking at his watch. It was after one, she was probably getting hungry.

"I'll go in a minute," Morgan agreed, resting his head on his hand. "Does anyone have a magazine I could borrow?"

"I've got a Cosmo in my purse." Garcia said with a light smile.

"No, thanks." He replied. "No offense, Baby Girl, but I'm not interested in finding out the 100 sexiest men in America."

"You're just bitter because you didn't make the list." Emily teased, which surprised even herself.

Before Morgan could retaliate, the doors leading to the surgical floor burst open. "Guys!" JJ cried, hurrying over. Everyone in the waiting room looked to the spectacle, angered this woman had disturbed the little solace in their time of grief.

"JJ," Hotch said, quickly getting to his feet. Everyone followed, fear beginning to fester in their stomachs. "What's going on?"

None of them wanted to believe what that bright smile on her face meant, mixed with tears as they dripped down her chin. It wasn't true. They'd been preparing all week to hear he was gone, that it was over... this was completely unprecedented.

"He's awake," She cried, giggling like some stupid teenager on dope. "He came out of it, he's awake!"

"You're kidding!" Garcia screamed, grinning just as widely as she. "Is he... I mean, is he alright?"

"He's better than alright," She exclaimed, "He remembers."

"Thank goodness," Rossi sighed. "The last thing we needed was to relive the last two months."

"No, not just what he's recovered." She shook her head, eager to get back to his room. "He _remembers_."

The truth sounded around them and they suddenly realized what JJ meant, shocking hitting each of them in turn. They didn't need another word before following her back down the hall. No one ran this time, just walking as fast as possible. As badly as they wanted to get to him, they wanted to stick together. Just like they always do.


	35. The Leaves

Twenty minutes later, Reid was lost in his confused thoughts. He was worried about JJ for one thing. She had looked so worn and exhausted, like she was worried about something. That couldn't be cause of him in a coma for a week; what had disturbed her so? He was suddenly worried about Henry and Will, hoping nothing was wrong with either of them. She hadn't said anything on Monday, but then he hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk to her before they left for Charloteville... and besides, she was not the woman he was most interested in speaking to.

Reid had to admit, as nice as it was to see one of his dear friends by his bedside, he would much rather it been Emily. Probably the closest he'd ever come to waking up beside the woman of his dreams. He had fallen into such a beautiful dream about her. He couldn't recall too much about it, but he knew they were together, he was the happiest he had ever been... and she loved him. She had told him so. Oh, what a world his mind could create. If only it were true.

The door finally opened again and JJ stuck her head in. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," He assured, touching his head again. "Well, mostly. I thought you said the others were here."

"They are, are you ready to see them?" She asked.

He felt he hadn't spoken to his friends in ages. "Definitely," He replied. He swore her smile got even wider.

"Come on, guys," She said, stepping into the room. Within seconds, the rest of the team followed. Hotch, Garcia, Morgan, Rossi... and to his heart's delight, Emily.

It was a completely parrallel event. Last time, he'd barely been able to make eye contact with them, so timid and lost. Every single one of them wanted to cry as they saw his face again. He lit up with delight as he saw each and every one. JJ had been right. He really did remember.

"Hey, guys," Reid said cheerfully.

"Hey, Reid," Garcia cried. Though she was excited, she didn't want to push anything, keeping her distance.

"Did I do something wrong?" He wondered, concerned.

"No, why would you think that?" She asked, looking at the others.

"Because the first thing you always do when you see me in the hospital is give me a hug." He explained. "Where's my hug, Garcia?"

She let out a sob and hurried forward, pulling him into his arms. Reid winced a bit as his skin flexed around his wounds, but it was worth the pain.

Garcia hung on awhile longer than usual, but after two months, she needed all the contact she could get. The familiar way his arms wrapped around her and held her... it was just as always.

As she pulled away, he saw she was crying as bad as JJ. To be honest, everyone looked like they wanted to cry, and were just as exhausted. All except Emily, who watched him with apprehension, her emotions lingering just below the surface. It was hard to tell what she was thinking, as usual.

"Am I missing something?" He questioned, looking to each of his friends. "Why is everyone acting like I just came back from the dead? This can't be about a coma?"

"You don't remember?" Morgan asked, amazed.

"Remember what?" He shook his head, confused.

"Reid..." Hotch said slowly. "What's the last thing you can recall?"

His eyes found Emily again. Their conversation wasn't intending to be anything secretive, but it was private. Oh well, it was best just to get the whole truth out into the open. "Well... on Monday... I guess it was last Monday, now, our first day on the case, Emily... she'd had a bad weekend."

"Oh, my God, Reid..." She whispered. This wasn't happening.

"I'm sorry, Emily," He urged. He hated betraying her trust. "She just wanted to talk for a bit and... well, I was getting ready for bed and decided I would shave beforehand..." Reid was not about to reveal why. "I do that sometimes... but I had left my shaving cream in car so I... I went down to get it. While I was down there... someone jumped me..."

He looked up apologetically at everyone. "I guess I should have told someone what happened, I'm sorry... but they took me... somewhere and..." It suddenly registered with him what all these cuts and injuries were about. He remembered being in the dark, feeling all that pain... and that horrible woman's laugh, "tortured me..."

He didn't notice the rest of the team look at each other. How were they supposed to explain those wounds had healed and these were new ones. "Anyway, I think one of them hit me in the head... and then I woke up here."

There was a long silence as the others debated what to do. This was too fantastic, they never expected to explain this to him. He understood things better than most people, but this might be beyond even his realm of understanding.

They couldn't keep the truth from him, though. Once he looked at a calendar, after all, he'd begin to realize what was going on. Hotch cleared his throat again. "Reid..." he uttered, looking to the others. He knew he had their support, trying to find the right words. "It hasn't been just a week since you were attacked in Charoletville."

His eyes went to JJ. "You said I was in a coma for a week."

"You were," She replied. "But that case... that was two months ago."

No... no, that didn't make any sense. How could he wake up two months later? Time travel was by all means impossible with standard technology, and so he said the three words he so rarely got to use. "I don't understand."

"Reid, you had a condition called Retrograde Amnesia." Hotch explained.

Okay, now he saw. Were he not just fresh from a coma, he probably would have caught on quicker. He looked to Morgan, "Very funny, this is something you thought up, right?"

"Reid, I swear, this is not a joke." Morgan insisted.

He was completely serious, yet Reid couldn't bring himself to believe it. It had to be some kind of prank. "Do you guys have any idea how rare Retrograde Amnesia is? There have only been 117 reported cases during the last two centuries, and that's in the entire world. In all honesty, the disease is much more common in fiction than in reality."

The instant results of information flowing forth was welcome like a cool rain on a hot summer day. Morgan shook his head, letting out a sigh. He seriously thought he was about to cry. "Dear God, I can't believe how much I missed that."

Reid had had enough. A joke was one thing but this was going too far. "Guys, seriously, this isn't funny."

"We're not trying to be funny, Reid," Emily uttered, her voice shaking with disbelief and anger. "It was late summer when you were attacked, look out the window if you don't believe us."

Fine, he'd humor them. Slowly, His sore and tired body rose out of bed. Like Bambi learning how to walk, he gripped to the his IV pole and took wobbly baby steps to the window. JJ and Morgan guided his every move.

As he reached the window, his expression fell in shock. He had awoken into a completely different world. His breathing became labored as he tried to process what was happening.

"There aren't any leaves on the trees." He finally uttered. Panicked, he looked at each of his friends, searching for answers. "Why aren't there any leaves on the trees?"

"It's okay, Reid," Hotch soothed calmly. "You had amnesia. You forgot just about all of your life for about two months.'

"And now suddenly, it's back." Garcia added.

Reid, vulnerable, looked to the floor. "Yeah..." He stammered. He pretended to clear his throat so he wouldn't get emotional. "Patients... patients with... retrograde amnesia tend to more commonly experience spontaneous recovery."

"So you don't remember anything?" Emily asked, just as frightened as he, but hid it much better. "The last two months... nothing?"

"No..." He shook his head. He at last looked up and met her eyes. "You were the last person I spoke to, down at the car was my last vivid moment... the rest it's like no time has passed. I can't believe two months of my life. What about my job?"

"Well, it was a struggle, but we've so far managed to hang onto it." Rossi said, pleasantly. "Now that you're on the mend, we can guarantee your job will be held for you."

That was good, but the joy was lost as Reid had another epiphany. "Oh my God... my mom."

"I kept in touch with your mother." JJ said, and Reid turned to her. He couldn't express his gratitude at those words. "I told her you were sick and you couldn't talk to her. But you love her and missed her... she hasn't been taking it well."

"You have a bit of explaining to do there, kid." Morgan said with a small smile.

He was coming to terms with this. It was surreal to think for two months, he had lost his entire life. He couldn't fathom what that felt like.

"I can't imagine what I put you guys through." Reid said, looking to each person apologetically.

"It was hard," Garcia replied. "But we knew if we stuck it out, if we kept by your side... eventually you'd come back to us."

"How different was I?" He asked, his embarrassment turning into interest. "I can't imagine going through the world and... not knowing anything."

"You were pretty out of it." Rossi explained. "I mean it looked like you, it sounded a little like you... but it just wasn't. You didn't know any facts, any information... and you didn't know any of us. You barely wanted to be around us."

"Now that you have to be making up." He uttered, certain that in no way could be true. "How could I ever forget you guys? You're my family."

He heard a gasp to the left of him and he turned to see JJ covering her mouth, trying to keep from sobbing. Pulling it away, she whimpered, "You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

"Oh, JJ," He exclaimed. He rushed over to pull her into his arms. "It's alright... I'm sorry, but I'm here now."

Reid let her sob on his shoulder. He held her, soothing her gently. Just like he used to.

Morgan was the only one who noticed the door open in the room, as well as the one person who stepped out. "You know, you guys, I think it would be best if we get the doctor in here. He'll probably want to run some tests, I'll be back in a minute."

He caught Rossi's eye, silently informing him there was more to it than that. "Good thinking, Morgan."

Slowly, JJ let Reid go, her hand rested on his smiling face, looking deeply into his eyes. "Oh, I missed you."

"Reid..." Garcia uttered. "Can I have a hug, too?"

"As many as you want." He said, embracing her as well. "I'm so sorry I put you guys through this."

"Don't be sorry, Reid." Hotch said with the rarest of smiles. "We're just glad you're home."

* * *

><p>Emily was the only one not reveling in the joy of Reid's recovery. Morgan searched through the halls, but found no hide nor hair of the girl. True to his word, he asked for Dr. Ashton to be paged, informing the nurses on Reid's condition. He wasn't going to give up and go back until he found his friend, though.<p>

He was circling the surgical wing for the third time when he encountered not Emily, but Rossi. "Did you find her?" He asked, knowing exactly what was going on.

"No, I honestly think she left." Morgan revealed. "I know this is a lot to take in, but how could she do that?"

"She didn't leave." He shook his head. "I know where to find."

Rossi took the lead and went on a direct path through the hospital. The men made it to the courtyard, stepping out into the fridgid air. Most of her stood hidden from the door, but a whisp of black hair was blowing in the wind, right around the corner.

Morgan went ahead first. He stood beside Emily, neither speaking nor alerting her. All he did was wait.

As she wiped a stream of tears aside, she uttered very loudly. "You know Morgan... for once I need a big, fat, 'I told you so'."

At that, he tugged on her sleeve and pulled her into his arms. "Well, you're not going to get it from me." She rested against his chest, sobbing as she felt her entire life come to a stop.

"How could I have been so stupid." Her cries were muffled by his shirt. "How can this be happening... I thought he loved me."

"Maybe he does, Emily," Rossi announced softly, just a few feet behind them. "He just woke up, maybe right now everything's a blank, but maybe it's like a dream. If you give him some time, he might remember it."

They were right, but Emily didn't want to wait. Hearing he was awake made her heart soar, all she wanted was to run into his arms and give him the biggest most compassionate kiss her lips could survive. Knowing he had his memory back gave her a kind of fear, but she was still anxious to see him. She thought the worst that would happen was his love was indeed just some result of the illness... but never in her wildest nightmares did she consider he wouldn't remember.

"He's right, Em," Morgan agreed, patting her on the back. "Give Reid some time... in a couple of days, come up alone, sit him down, and talk to him about it. It might turn out okay."

"And if he doesn't remember," Rossi added. "Then you need to tell him."

She pulled away from Morgan, looking to Rossi with big puffy eyes. "If he can't remember, then what's the point?"

He paused a moment. Really, did he have to hold both their hands the entire way. It would have been easier just to reveal the truth to them, about how deep this love went, but it wouldn't be real that way. Instead, he simply replied, "Because it's the right thing to do."

* * *

><p>It was easier said than done. For several nights, Emily tossed and turned over this. She was so distraught, she couldn't even bring himself to visit Reid. Despite protests from the rest of the team, she kept her distance from the hospital. She had no idea what to say, or even how she'd feel once they were face to face.<p>

Each night was agony, longing and wishing for his arms to hold her. She woke up several times during the night feeling agitated. Only a few more nights went by before the smell left his pillow. Emily couldn't believe how much it ached being without him. Now she understood the term. It wasn't because love was connected to hearts... it was because the heart literally felt like its cracking in two.

Finally, by the next Saturday, she could avoid him no more. Reid was getting discharged from the hospital today. She knew he was staying with Morgan for awhile until he got back on his feet, so she assumed he was picking him up, too. Emily didn't tell the others she was going to see him. It might go over better this way.

Reid had been moved to the step down unit after a few days. He was quickly on the mend. Dr. Ashton was amazed, he'd never seen or read about such a speedy recovery. His theory was that Reid's mind was at a higher capacity than the average human... but Emily couldn't help but wonder...

The floor was quiet when she arrived. Her mind was buzzing with things she needed to say, questions she needed to ask, and yet knew as soon as she looked in his eyes - those beautiful hazel eyes - she wouldn't be able to form words.

At last, she made it to his room. His door stood open and she could see him sitting on his bed. He was fully dressed, having no problem whatsoever this time.

"I'm in trouble," She whispered to herself.

Just as she was about to knock, she froze and realized Reid was talking. "I know... I wish I could have told you, but I was too sick. Believe me, I hate that I put you through this."

There was a long pause and Emily understood; Reid was on the phone. Judging by the conversation, it was his mother.

"Yes, I'm all better now... I would never just leave you, Mom... Mom, please stop crying, I'm alright."

Well, at least one person got to have what she was longing for. He really cared about his mother... and he cared about his friends, and everyone around him. He was sweet and fun and loving. Reid really was a great guy... how come she could never see that before?

"Yes, I'm leaving tomorrow morning. My friend Derek Morgan is coming with me... you met him, Mom, remember? When you and Dad told me the truth about... why you got divorced..." He nodded, "Yeah, that's the guy... okay, I'll see you the day after tomorrow then, and we'll spend a few days together."

Emily waited for the conversation to come to an end. "It's okay, Mom," He assured, and she sensed Mrs. Reid was still crying. Not that she could blame her, Emily had been just as much a mess a few days ago. "Yes, I'll see you then... Mom..." His voice choked a bit, knowing he was trying to keep his composure. "I love you, Mom... I love you very much."

There was another pause and he said his goodbyes. Carefully, he hung up the hospital phone and stood up. He turned to continue his packing and his eyes landed on the woman in the doorway.

Neither knew what to say at first. Emily stood back apprehensively while Reid stared at her with such amazement. She couldn't tell if it was happy or upset... and she was betting on the latter.

A tense moment passed before a huge smile spread on his face. "Well it's about time!" He cried. "Where have you been, I've missed you!"

She couldn't help but feel happy about that. She grinned, stepping into the room. "I've missed you, too."

Reid hurried over, pulling her into a hug. The first person he looked for and the last one he saw. His arms went around her naturally and buried his nose in her hair, breathing in that sweet smell. Just like a fresh rain... it made him feel so comfortable, even more than usual.

Emily was tense as he held her, not wanting to lose herself in the moment. Reid let her go, looking over her face. "Are you okay?"

"Ah... yeah..." She shook her head. "It's just been a long week, I haven't been sleeping well... I've got a lot on my mind."

"Well... I know it's kind of late, but... I think you and I were about to have a conversation. Is this the same problem or... something new?"

"Oh, something new..." Her hand lightly brushed his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked as he went back to his duffle bag sitting on the bed. "I promise I won't disappear this time."

It was meant to be funny, but she didn't laugh. That worried him. "Actually, Reid, I think you and I have to talk about it." Emily said. She went to join him at the bed as he packed up the clothes the others had brought him during the week.

Reid was folding a sweater. As he tossed it into his bag, he paused to consider that. "Are you trouble?"

Did she give off that kind of vibe. Emily took a deep breath as she grabbed one sock from the pile. "No, I'm safe, it's nothing that serious... um..." Now that she thought about it, she wasn't so sure they could get it out in the open right now. "Maybe it would be best if we talk about this... over dinner."

"Dinner?" Reid repeated. It almost sounded like a date, but he knew better than that.

"Yeah..." She nodded. "Maybe... when you get back from Vegas?"

"Sure, I should be back on Sunday." He said. "Can you... give me some idea what this is about? Just so I don't drive myself crazy?"

He watched her as she dug through the pile of socks. He had never seen her so confused and frazzled, stumbling over her words like they were roots in the woods. "It's just... I don't know how to explain it... I don't do well with... with personal issues or... emotions. If it were up to me, at this point, I'd want to forget the whole thing... damnit, where the hell is this other sock?"

"Emily," He cried. At that, Reid reached over and grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. "It's me, remember? None of my socks match."

Right, how could she have forgotten that? She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, hoping she wasn't about to hyperventilate.

Reid clasped her other hand and pulled her away from the clothes. "Hey, what's going on? I've never seen you like this. If you want to talk later, that's fine, but could you just tell me what's wrong?"

It took a moment to gather her composure. She savored the feel of his hand clinging to hers, his warm fingers against her skin. "You really don't remember anything that happened in the last two months?"

He was suddenly very disappointed. "No... I'm sorry. Dr. Ashton says it's possible I'll remember it in time, but right now... it's just like a big... fog. I realize now some time has passed, but it's just... not there."

"You swear to me?" She pressed.

"Emily, I wouldn't lie to you about that." He assured. "Why... what happened? Did.. you and I have a fight or something."

"That was the least of it..." She moaned. Her anxiety was rising and she could feel herself shaking, her heart thumping right against her rib cage. This was going to be difficult, but they had to get it out in the open. It was the right thing to do, as Rossi had said.

Reid was so worried about her. He'd never seen Emily like this. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her until she calmed down, but he had trained himself a long time ago to remember his boundries with her.

"Emily, please..." He assured, allowing himself to gently caress her arm. "You can tell me. I'm sure it wasn't that big a deal, you don't need to be so worried." He grinned, making a joke, "I don't even remember it."

But instead of smiling, instead of a warm laugh and giving him a hug, Emily's face fell. She wrenched her hands from his grasp, tears swimming in her eyes as she backed away.

"You're absolutely right." She growled with glare. "It doesn't matter... why the hell did I ever care anyway."

And with that, she turned to hurry from the room. Reid was flabbergasted, "Emily," He moaned as she stepped out the door. "Emily, wait!"

He hurried after her into the hall, grabbing her arm. "Emily," He uttered, pulling her to face him. "What's going on?"

"Look, I can't..." She had to fight off the tears until the safety of her car. "I can't talk to you right now. Have a good time in Vegas, enjoy time with your mom, I'll see you when you get back."

Once again, she pulled from his grip, walking away fast and determined. "Emily!" He called one more futile time, but she never looked back. The hurt in her beautiful eyes broke his heart, because the last thing he ever wanted to do was cause her pain.


	36. Friends

Even the bright lights and glittering glory of Vegas could not make Reid forget about his problem with Emily. He had a wonderful time with his mother, who spent the majority of the first day crying in his arms. They spent the next few days playing board games and reading some of their favorite literature. It was the only time he was distracted by his dilemma. Leave to a mother to make her little boy feel better.

Saturday evening found Reid and Morgan on a commercial flight back to DC. They rode in business class, which was slightly less cramped than coach. Morgan ordered a drink and allowed himself to relax after his little vacation. He had no problem entertaining himself in Vegas while Reid was with his mom. Reid's mind was buzzing so much and he couldn't make sense of anything in his head, almost dreading Monday morning.

What had upset Emily so? They hadn't been at odds with each other like this since he'd been on drugs. He hated himself for yelling at her that day and swore to himself he'd never hurt her like that again. He hadn't intended to offend her back at the hospital, he was just making a joke. Leave it to him to say the wrong thing.

"You okay, kid?" Morgan asked, slipping his headphones off, distracted from the movie.

"Uh..." He wasn't really sure how to answer that. "I... I guess."

"What's up?" He tossed the phones aside knowing his friend needed him right now. "You worried about your first day back at work?"

"No," He shook his head. Actually, he was glad to be back at his job. It felt like a year since he'd been useful and even if he were staying out of the field, it was good to be productive again.

"Then what's going on?" Morgan wondered. "You look like you just swallowed a bottle of hot sauce."

He wasn't really sure what that meant, but perhaps it would help if he confided in someone. "Did something happen between me and Emily while my memory was gone?"

Morgan suddenly became serious. No use spilling the beans, though, if he didn't already know. "Why, what did she tell you?"

"Nothing, really..." He admitted. "She was about to on Tuesday, while I was packing to leave the hospital... but I made a stupid comment on... how it couldn't have been important." He turned to Morgan, worried. "Did we get into a fight? Maybe I said something to her or mentioned something cruel I wouldn't even dream of saying in my right mind. I want to apologize for her... I just... I don't know how."

It wasn't his place to tell Reid about this. He would have loved to pretend they were in the sixth grade and let him know that he liked her and pass a note to her in math class. That wasn't how the world worked, however. They were adults and adults had to solve their own problems and admit their true feelings. It was the only way the world could turn.

"Reid..." He said slowly. "Look... I can't tell you what to do, but would you take some advice?"

To see his friend so serious was such a surprise. All Reid could do was nod, intrigued.

"You need to figure out where you're coming from before you talk to Emily again." Morgan explained. "It's never been more crucial to be certain how you feel. I know you're private about that kind of stuff and you don't need to discuss it with me... but you do need to talk to her. It's important, Reid. If your holding any kind of feelings for Emily... now would be the time to get them out in the open."

Reid was shocked. He never suspected Morgan or the others knew how he felt, but maybe he hadn't been as careful with his emotions as he always thought.

"Just think about it, kid." Morgan patted his arm. "Because good or bad, the last thing you want to do is lose your friend."

That put his mind at ease, at least for a little while. "You're right." He agreed, and leaned back in his chair. He had a lot to figure out, but at least he had a path he could follow.

* * *

><p>"...the truth, Emily, is... I'm in love with you." Reid stated clearly. "I've been in love with you for... a long time... you twist my stomach into knots every time you smile at me. You have no idea the effect you have on me, and I understand... I know you could never fall for a guy like me or... or even be interested. But I had to tell you. When I was tied up in that warehouse... you were my sanctuary. I thought about it and the pain... it wasn't so bad anymore. You always make things better. And when I was in there, I knew that this is what I'm supposed to do. To stand here and tell you the truth... and now I never want to risk you not knowing... You are the world to me. I truly and deeply love you... and I never want to lose you... even if it means we're just friends."<p>

Reid watched as his lips moved, hearing the words that sounded more like someone else was speaking. His reflection in the metal of the elevator door stared back at him. He hated his reflection, it was the most blatant and true friend he had and it was always cruel.

Since he'd gotten home Saturday night, Reid had been debating what to say to Emily. He'd prepared this little speech, believing it said everything he needed to tell her without being confusing or sounding pathetic. Even now, he could feel the disgusted look on Emily's face. He must be crazy. He shouldn't do this... it was just going to drive Emily so far away from him, he'd wouldn't even be able to call him his friend anymore.

What other choice did he have, though? He'd tried calling Emily all weekend as well as every night while he was in Vegas. She wouldn't pick up the phone, none of his voicemails were returned. She must be really furious with him. This could be his only chance to keep her in his life. And if it drove her away... well, that was a risk he had to take.

All too soon, the elevators opened. The unit was like he'd never left it. His home away from home. Reid had to admit, despite the stress and horrors he found here, not to mention it almost cost him his life about a dozen times, this was where he wanted to be. Where he always wanted to be. Reid couldn't imagine doing anything else with his life, and hoped he'd never have to. At least for now.

Emily was busy stirring her coffee. Reid would be back today. It was his first day back to work and everyone was excited... except for her. She was extremely nervous. He'd called her so many times, but she couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone. She listened to his messages over and over just to hear his voice, but she was too frightened to return them. Emily knew what she wanted to say, she'd been rehearsing it all weekend. The real feat was finding the strength to say it.

As if her eyes were automatically trained to him, she spotted Reid as soon as he stepped into the unit. If she didn't intercept him now, she wouldn't have another chance. Odds were she wouldn't get a chance to speak to him until they got back from this new case. Abandoning her coffee on the counter, she hurried as fast as her legs would take her.

"Hey," She said, resting her hand on his arm. They stopped right before his desk.

To her relief, he turned to her and smiled. "Hey... I've been trying to call you."

"I know..." She whispered. "Look... can we talk? In private?"

"Sure," he said, guiding her back through the glass doors. He'd rather get this over with, no point in delaying it. Quick and clean was the best way to go.

It sent a chill down Emily's spine as they stopped in the hall by the restrooms... right where they had kissed. Her eyes traveled up and landed on his lips... oh, she ached to feel those lips on hers again, trailing along the skin of her body... she missed him so much. And not just his kisses and his warmth... she missed him. She missed his laugh and his company... and that feeling. The feeling of having your best friend by your side, always, and giving you all the love in the world. She had to have him back, she couldn't lose him. Not again.

"Emily-" Reid began. This was it.

"Please..." She said. "Let me go first. I first want to say I'm sorry. None of this is your fault... I hate that you had to endure this. Your memory was gone for two months, you were so lost. It hurt to see how lonely and confused you were. You're here now, I finally have my friend back. It's not your fault you don't remember those two months... I shouldn't be angry at you for that."

"I didn't mean to be so callous." He stated.

"I know," She assured. "See, the reason I've been so concerned about all this is because... something very serious happened between us. And it's important that you know."

Emily took a deep breath to both calm her nerves and gather her courage. This was it, and however Reid took it... well, that was up to him.

"It's important... that you know..." But she couldn't continue after that. The words wouldn't come, her mind was a total blank. Reid waited with anticipation as to what she wanted to say... she had to say something.

As the last of her courage melted away, Emily shrank back. She felt so small, like she was shrinking before him.

"It's important that you know... your friendship means more to me than life itself." Emily said. It was at least the truth, to some aspect. "And no matter what happens in our lives... I always want you as my friend, Spencer Reid."

A friend. That was all he would ever be. He wanted her so badly... but she could never see him as anything more than that. And if that was it... there was no point in letting himself get hurt by telling her how he felt... nor in losing his friend.

"And I always want you as my friend." He said with a smile. "Because you're the best friend I ever had."

She was dying on the inside, but gave the brightest smile. In tandem, the two reached for each other, moving into an warm embrace.

Reid held her as close to him as possible, like he was never going to see her again. As usual, he breathed in the smell of her hair, the scent that made him weak in the knees. Her body was so warm and soft... he wanted the world to stop turning so he could hold her forever.

Emily squeezed her eyes shut tight as she fell into his embrace. His strong, welcoming body right against hers, warming her to the tips of her pedicured toes. She felt him smell her hair as he always did. She clung to him, her chewed nails clawing at his sweater, needing all the friction to keep him from slipping away. In a moment, he'd leave her hold... and she'll have lost him forever.

All too soon, Reid and Emily parted. Their eyes met and both gave a fake happy smile. "Let's go, the others will be waiting."

They made it back inside, the rest of the team nowhere in sight. "Ready to get back to work?" She asked as they headed to the coffee pot.

"Most certainly," He nodded. "It might be a little fast for me to be back on my feet, but... I'm ready."

"Good," She said as she poured him a cup. "This place just isn't the same without you."

His smile was much more sincere now, taking the cup from her. He took a careful sip and made a slight grimace. "No sugar?"

"Oh, right... sugar." She exclaimed, taking the cup back. "You drank it black while your memory was gone."

"Hmm... I wonder why," He said, curious. "Was there anything else about me that was really different?"

"Uh..." She considered it. "No, I can't remember anything."

"Guys," JJ called from the catwalk. Emily and Reid turned to find her standing at the railing. "We need you both in here. Now, it's serious."

She was so stern and grave. Emily and Reid glanced at each other before leaving their coffees behind and hurrying to follow. They rushed to the conference room, Emily lagging a step behind Reid. It didn't even register with him. The door was closed and Reid turned the handle, stepping inside.

"Surprise!" The girls cried, startling Reid as he stepped in. The conference room wasn't any different with the exception of a big banner on the wall across from the door. _Welcome Back, Reid!_ was written on it in bright purple letters.

"Is this for me?" He asked, finding the rest of the team in here. Glancing back, he spotted a grin on Emily's face, realizing she was in on it, too.

"You bet!' Garcia exclaimed. "It's not much, but we wanted to do something special. And I made cupcakes!"

Reid approached the table to see, 11 cupcakes had a different letter, spelling out WELCOME BACK in chocolate sprinkles over white icing.

"There was an exclamation point, but somebody couldn't wait." She added, glaring at Morgan.

"This is so great, you guys." He said, smiling. "You didn't have to do this."

"It's just our way of saying we're glad you're back, Spence." JJ said, patting him on the back. "Not just to the BAU, but... to our lives. It's not the same without you."

Hotch was just as happy as the others, "Not to mention you saved me from a long line of tedious interviews."

"Glad I could be of help." Reid chuckled.

"But don't you dare think about going away again." Morgan added with a smile and a wink.

"I won't," Reid promised. "This is my home... I love you guys very much." He looked over at Emily, a bit of sadness appearing in his smile. "All of you."

"Alright, guys, I know we're happy, but we are on a schedule." Hotch stated. "Let's enjoy the cupcakes and then let's get started."

"I'll get coffee for everyone," Emily said, going to the door. "Just save me one."

"You need some help?" Reid offered.

Before she could answer, Rossi stepped in. "You enjoy your party, Reid. I'll help her."

He followed Emily out of the room and back to the kitchenette. She stood and frozen at the counter, needing to regroup before she had to put on a happy face and pretend she wasn't dying inside.

"You're not going to tell him, are you?" Rossi asked as he stood beside her.

All Emily could do was shake her head. "No... not right now."

Rossi gave her back a comforting pat. "I really think you should tell him."

"It's just not the right time." She said as she turned. Her arms folded over her chest as she leaned against the counter, her eyes on her shoes. "He's just coming back, he doesn't need to deal with this right now. And you never know... it could come back to him. He might remember."

"Maybe," Rossi nodded. "I hope he does... but if he doesn't, then you need to tell him the truth. Find the right time and tell him." Rossi poured a few styrofoam cups of coffee out, lining them in one of the carton trays. He met Emily's eyes one more time before he turned and headed back to the others.

Emily stood alone. She could see Reid through the blinds to the conference room. Right now, he was just her friend, but that would change. They would be together again. Reid would remember. Some day, soon, he would remember... and Emily would be ready when he did.

* * *

><p>AN: I realize most of you hate me now, and you have every right to, but I never did promise a happy ending.

However, this isn't the official ending. This is only the end of one story. There's a lot more tale to tell, so stay tuned at the end of the year for the sequel entitled Retrospective.


	37. Update

The first chapter of the new story has been posted, entitled Retrospective. Enjoy! :)


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